They were laughing at him, pointing at him, talking about him in the most disgusting and down putting way possible. He knew it, *felt* it. And there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop the feelings, the thoughts racing through his mind.
Jonathan was seated on his comfy chair in his lab, softly swaying side to side as his leg was bouncing without a break.
*He was fine, fine until just recently, fine until he stepped foot under the others, fine until the change in tone, fine until.. until..*
He let out a sigh, shutting down his PC and starting to collect everything together. He felt wrong, hated and disliked, as if no one wanted him here and his brain wasn't being too kind to him with picking out the tones and underlying meanings behind several of the texts and emails he got.
He was hitting one of *those* phases again, where his mind was relentlessly digging its sharp nails into his back, scratching at every nerve. He hated it with all his heart, hated how he couldn't stop it, hated how it made him feel, hated how it made him interact with the world around him and isolate himself.
He kept his gaze down as he moved throughout the halls, wanting to avoid as much eye contact as possible. He isn't sure how he would take it otherwise…to see their judging gazes, their piercing stares that just scream *“leave”*, to hear their uninterested voices.
He shook his head softly, pressing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath. He was only at the beginning and it was already this bad, he's afraid he may end up staying at Alchemax continually, shutting himself into his lab to have as little interaction as possible until this is over.
Only to be repeated at an unidentifiable time afterwards.
He came to a stop before the elevator, pulling out his phone after pressing the button to skip some time, and to hopefully distract himself enough.
Yet his mind was not as easily silenced. He was thinking about his latest interactions again, how they had that shift in their tone, always standing so closed off and giving him only short answers when he would ask something or talk. *´You don't fit in´* his brain reminded him, *´They are all very much alright without you, as always´ it told him, ´You won't ever be like th-´*
The soft ´ding´ as the elevator door opens snaps him out of his harsh thoughts.
He took another deep breath to fill his lungs, to ground himself before stepping into the elevator and pressing the button that would bring him to the ground floor.
As the door slide close he drops back against the wall, driving one of his big hands thru his hair as he lets out a shaky breath, “Fuck..”
His mind is suspiciously quiet the whole ride, only being stirred awake once the elevator comes to a halt. He took another deep breath as he straightened up, already laying out a plan for his whole dilemma-
´”Just get home.. you can make yourself a nice tea and watch some shows.. yeah.. maybe even call in sick to recover..” He smoothed out some wrinkles on his shirt, about to step out of the elevator as loud noises drowned out every and all thought that was bouncing around in his brain.
Shit, he forgot about the company party going on. And shit he absolutely was not about to walk through the crowd to get to his car.
He took a step back before hitting the elevator button again.
Guess sleeping on his lab couche it was.