Maria took steady breaths, sucking in cool, clean air into her lungs as she tugged the helmet from her head. She glanced around at her team, who were also greedily gulping down the night air, coughing up some of the powdery substance that had been injected into the air inside the building they just emerged from.
Maria swiped her sleeve across the lower half of her face to clear away as much of the pollen as she could, spitting a glob of saliva onto the grass to get rid of any that got into her mouth. “Check in!”
She got chimes from the others confirming their health. Maria forced herself forward on wobbling legs toward their extraction point and away from the demolished building behind them that they had just fought their way out of.
As Maria and her team of six waited to be picked up, Maria noticed her smallest agent starting to shiver a little. It wasn’t that cold out, and their suits were relatively warm, but the boy was wrapping his arms around himself as he took a few deep breaths.
At first, Maria chalked it up to adrenaline. It was only his fourth big mission and even Maria still got adrenaline dumps after fighting her way out of compounds as they just did.
Then she noticed another one of the agents taking a few shuddering breaths. The first boy shuffled a little closer to the agent next to him to press their shoulders together.
Maria did her best to keep a lookout, ignoring the little shiver creeping up her spine. She did her best not to look at the agents slowly gravitating toward each other, bumping their shoulders before pressing their arms together.
It wasn’t until their ride arrived and Maria stepped inside the jet and out of the cool night air that she realized she was cold. She slowly took a seat between her agents to keep a better eye on them.
It dawned on her when the agent next to her slowly started to creep closer to what they had possibly inhaled.
“Agent Thompson!” Maria called out to the front of the jet where the pilot and co-pilot were situated.
“Yes ma’am?” Agent Thompson turned in his seat.
“Radio ahead and tell them that we’ll need decontamination on standby,” Maria told him. She dug her fingers into the fabric of her uniform just above her knee. “Tell them I think we’ve had an exposure to CU0013.”
“CU0013?” The agent across from her questioned, practically shaking in place as they rubbed their arms to warm up.
“It’s a drug that makes the body crave the warmth, touch, and heartbeat of another person,” Maria explained. She watched her agents eye each other. She didn’t even have to tell them how to solve the problem if it was CU0013.
She watched as the two agents to the left of her looked at each other before scooting closer. They turned their bodies and awkwardly hugged. Maria watched as relief practically made them melt into each other, a soft sigh of contentment escaping their lips. The shaking in their limbs ceased nearly immediately.
Spurred by the duo, the other agents started to buddy up to get close to each other. They curled up in their chairs, two even wiggling their way out of their jackets for more skin contact.
“Uh, Deputy Director?” The agent to her right whispered and Maria’s eyes snapped to look down at the woman. “Do you-- um--”
Maria understood what she wanted. Maria wasn’t a very touchy person but she knew that her team was compromised and it was her duty to look out for them. After a moment’s pause, she lifted her arm and let the younger agent tuck herself against her side.
The instant that Maria started to feel warm again, she knew that she had been hit and affected as well. Her heart rate started to steady and a little piece of her mind was greedy for more touch.
The agent to her left ended up shuffling over a little bit. The team that had once been spread out was soon squished into a row, sandwiching between other bodies. Maria felt overwhelmed and suffocated but she put up with her discomfort to focus on her team, trying to convince herself that she didn’t want it as much as they did.
When they arrived back to base, the decontamination team was there to welcome them, dressed up in hazmat suits as they coaxed the agents out of their tight-knit line one by one. When it was just Maria and the agent to her right left, Maria encouraged the younger woman to go first, ensuring that all of her team were looked after first.
When it was her turn to step off, Maria obediently followed the agent in the hazmat suit to the showers.
“It has been confirmed that it’s CU0013, ma’am,” the agent informed her as they started to open up a plastic bag. “I’ll need your suit in here.”
“I didn’t inhale any,” Maria lied steadily as she started to unhook her tactical belt.
The agent tilted their head to the side curiously as Maria’s shoes soon followed the belt into the bag. “You don’t feel any side effects?”
“No.” Maria unzipped her suit and stepped out, the fabric joining the shoes. “As I said, I didn’t breathe any in.”
The agent scrutinized her as Maria hooked her fingers into the band of her bra and tugged it off as well to join the other articles in the bag. “You understand that you still need to have your vitals taken, correct?”
“I know.” Maria knew the protocols that she wouldn’t be able to throw her weight around on. She stepped out of her underwear finally and was led further into the showers to wash off any decontaminates from her body.
She was provided with a sterile set of SHIELD-issued sweatpants and sweatshirt. Maria had to sit on a gurney despite her exhaustion as they took her temperature and heart rate. They questioned her again to ensure that she hadn’t inhaled any, listened to her lungs, and then reluctantly released her when Maria refused to show how cold she was or how she just wanted to lean into the gloved hands briefly touching her.
“Has my squad had their forms pulled and are with their contacts?” Maria inquired and it was confirmed that her team was safe and comfortable.
The form in question was a basic emergency contact form used when agents were impacted by CU0013. While the cases of agents impacted by the drug had been below a dozen before that day, there was a form for practically everything.
Maria’s form was blank.
When Maria was let go, she immediately made a beeline right to her office. She moved toward her chair and took a seat, taking a deep breath to try and calm her heart which was already starting to beat harder in her chest.
Her hands felt cold. She cupped them to her lips and blew warm air into them wondering if she could fool her body into thinking there was someone there with her.
She pulled out her phone and opened up the metronome app that she used when meditating, setting it to eighty beats per minute before she rested it on her chest. It worked for a little bit as a makeshift heartbeat but the cold started to creep in and her body almost seemed to realize that she was tricking it.
Maria tucked her knees against her chest, wrapping her arms around herself in some attempt for warmth. She eventually went from curled up on her chair to the floor and then eventually under the desk. She knew that CU0013 didn’t last as long and went through the system faster if the symptoms were treated with how it was supposed to be but Maria was not going to just go buddy up to someone for the next twelve hours.
She was too cold to sleep despite the exhaustion that gripped her. Her heart pounded so hard in her chest that she thought it would break her ribs. She was so uncomfortable and tired that she wanted to cry.
But she didn’t. She curled up under her desk and quietly counted to herself to pass the minutes.
The door to her office eventually opened and Maria held her breath, praying that whoever it was would just leave. If the Director really needed her then he wouldn’t carefully slip his way into her office.
“Maria?”
Maria shoved her face into her knees at the sound of Natasha Romanoff’s voice. Of all the people she needed to come and pester her the least, Natasha was top of the list.
It was quiet for a few moments, the quiet thumps of footsteps sounding just on the other side of the desk. Maria couldn’t help the shiver that wracked her body and made her breath hitch.
The room was quiet before a few moments later there was suddenly a set of green eyes staring at her, Natasha bent in half to peer under the desk with a raised eyebrow.
Maria met her gaze with the one eye she had poked out from where her face was tucked against her knees, refusing to back down once she found herself in the current situation.
“So,” Natasha started with a raised eyebrow, her hair swaying slightly as she shook her upside-down head. “Maria Hill wasn’t impacted by the same thing the rest of her squad, who were sent home to be with their family?”
Maria said nothing.
“What even are you doing?” Natasha finally straightened up and pulled the chair away from the desk, moving closer and crouching in the opening to get a better look at her. “Do you need medical?”
“No,” Maria finally rasped out, pushing herself against the desk at the closeness. “I’m--”
“If you try to tell me that you’re fine then I will laugh at you,” Natasha warned and Maria’s mouth snapped shut. “What happened?”
“It’s nothing,” Maria mumbled, another shiver shooting through her.
Natasha frowned and reached out. Maria hadn’t realized what she intended to do until fingers brushed against her forehead and Maria threw herself back as hard as she could to get away from the touch.
Natasha jolted back in surprise, assuming that she had hurt Maria in some way. But that brief touch made Maria unable to stop the whimper that escaped her lips and she found her hand reaching back out before she could stop it, her fingers grabbing Natasha’s wrist a little harder than she should.
“Maria?” Natasha asked softly, her brow furrowed as she tried to assess the situation. “I need you to tell me what to do. How do I help?”
Maria tried to tell her body to uncurl her fingers from Natasha’s wrist so that she could order the woman to leave her alone. But Natasha didn’t try to break the grip so Maria’s fingers seemed glued. The feeling of the thready pulse beneath her fingers was just enough for Maria to stop feeling like her heart was going to pound right out of her chest.
She needed more. She hated it with every fiber in her but she really, really needed more.
“You’re shivering hard,” Natasha finally commented. Maria had been so focused on the wrist she had grabbed that when fingers made contact with her forehead again she couldn’t stop herself.
Her eyes slid shut and she pressed against the gentle hand, another stifled whine escaping her lips. She felt like a fool but she just couldn’t help herself.
“You don’t have a fever,” Natasha commented but she surprisingly didn’t move her hand away from Maria’s face. “Are you ill?”
Maria took a deep breath, soaking up the warmth of the hand against her face. “In a way,” she admitted in a whisper.
She could feel Natasha’s eyes assessing her for the root of the problem but she wouldn’t get any answers, not when CU0013 wasn’t well known.
“What do you need me to do?” Natasha inquired. Maria immediately clamped her lips together to swallow down the urge to tell Natasha to just stay there and continue to touch her.
“Don’t you have somewhere else you need to be?” Maria managed to get out and Natasha raised an eyebrow.
“Not somewhere more important than here,” she retorted. “In case you haven’t noticed, you’re not even wearing shoes. Your hair is still down. You’re not in your bunk, but you’re certainly not working.”
Maria took a few deep breaths. She thought that simply touching her would be enough but she needed more. The best she felt was when she was pressed up against the other agent, the warmth of a body against hers as her heart stopped racing.
If Maria told Natasha what she needed, she was pretty sure the agent would do it. Natasha may play around and not listen to her sometimes but when it came to serious matters, Natasha regarded her and respected her orders and authority.
Maria did not want Natasha to feel pressured into giving what she didn’t want to. Maria already knew that the woman had a rocky past with touch and didn’t want to basically force herself on the woman because Natasha felt some sort of obligation to just give her body up for that type of thing.
“Hey--” Natasha’s hand started to pull away from her face and Maria jolted back to the present, trying to swallow down the whine that crawled out of her throat. “You’re really not acting like yourself and you’re kinda freaking me out.”
Maria forced her fingers to unlatch from Natasha’s wrist and she shoved herself away to tuck in against her desk. “Get out,” she managed to order.
She heard Natasha’s disbelieving scoff. “You can’t be serious.”
“Get out,” Maria said again.
She hadn’t expected the hands to grab her. She flailed slightly as Natasha dragged her out from under the desk, readjusting her grip halfway through to drag Maria out the rest of the way.
Maria couldn’t breathe as Natasha’s front pressed against her back to drag her out. All she could focus on was the warmth and the very quiet echo of a heartbeat against her back.
It was like she had gone boneless, sagging into the woman behind her as her head dropped to rest against her chest.
She needed more. More. More. More.
Hands grab her face to tilt her head up to look at them. Maria’s eyes found the ceiling before latching onto the green eyes staring at her. “What is wrong with you, Maria?”
A strangled cry escaped her lips as her resolve hit zero. “More--” She whispered and Natasha blinked down at her. “More. Please. CU0013. Please. I’m sorry.”
“CU0013?” Natasha echoed as her face pinched in confusion. “I don’t-- is that supposed to mean something to me?”
Maria clenched her jaw, hating the way that tears of frustration welled up in her eyes. “It’s a pollen from HYDRA…” She managed to get out.
“So your squad that went home, the thing you weren’t affected by…” Natasha trailed off, raising an eyebrow, making Maria work for it.
“Yes,” Maria hissed out. “Yes. I lied.”
Natasha took the moment to look smug about it before focusing back on the situation. “Okay. What do you need me to do?”
“It forces people to let their guard down…” Maria fisted her fingers into the knees of her pants to keep from reaching out to Natasha. “It makes them crave the touch of another being. The warmth. Their heartbeat.”
There was a few moments pause. “It makes you… need to be held?” Natasha said slowly as if Maria was going to grin at her and go “gotcha!” like it was a prank.
“Essentially,” Maria breathed out.
“Oh.” Natasha let out a hum after a moment. Natasha already knew why Maria hadn’t bothered to go home with the rest of her agents. She had nobody to call anyway. “Come here.”
Maria couldn’t manage to get the words out of her mouth before Natasha adjusted her grip on Maria, moving her hands from her face to wrap around her instead. Natasha pressed up against her back, her chin falling onto Maria’s shoulder as she moved closer, and Maria felt like she had forgotten how to breathe.
“This okay?” Natasha asked quietly and Maria slowly nodded. It was more than okay. Maria felt warm for the first time in hours and her heart no longer felt like it was going to pound right out of her chest. “Relax, Maria. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
Maria let herself sink into the body holding her close, resolving herself to profusely apologize later on.
Maria hadn’t realized she had fallen asleep until she was slowly waking up. It took a moment to register her position because her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and her limbs were heavy. She was leaning against a warm body, legs bracketed on either side of her to keep her from slumping over too far. Fingers were dipped just underneath her sweatshirt to dance along her bare stomach.
Natasha had shifted both of them toward the wall so she could lean against it at some point. Maria was surprised that she hadn’t woken up at the movement.
Then again, she felt like she was drugged in a way. Fuzzy head, heavy limbs, inability to concentrate. It was the CU0013 drug running through her body and making her vulnerable, just as HYDRA had wanted.
“Relax, it’s okay,” Natasha’s voice suddenly sounded very close to her ear. Maria jumped slightly but even if she wanted to pull away she couldn’t muster up enough strength to do so. “You’ve been asleep for the better part of two hours.”
Maria took a few deep breaths, unable to stop herself from focusing on the fingers on her stomach. She missed whatever else Natasha was saying until she caught the tail end of the sentence. “--too much?”
Maria blinked a few times, slowly craning her head up to look at Natasha. “What?” Her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and she couldn’t focus on anything but the warmth and touch of the person practically cradling her.
“I said that you settled down with skin contact,” Natasha replied patiently. “I hope that this isn’t too much.”
“Oh.” Maria pressed her lips together and tried not to get lost in the gentle touch. “No. It’s okay. It’s… it’s good.”
“Tell me more about CU0013,” Natasha said and Maria tried to focus on the question when the fingers on her stomach were gently tracing a small arc up and down.
“It lowers inhibitions,” Maria mumbled. Her heart rate was slow and relaxed, nearly beating in time with the person behind her. “Makes people feel cold. Their heart races. They can’t think.”
“How long does it last?” Natasha inquired. Maria wondered if she was just counting down the moments until she could leave and a small puddle of guilt pooled in her stomach.
“Depends on the severity and how quickly it is treated,” Maria admitted quietly. “Our longest case was three days. Quickest was four hours.”
Natasha let out a small hum and shifted her weight slightly, causing Maria to settle into her further. “And you were just gonna huddle under your desk for four days and hope that nobody found out?”
It sounded absurd when Natasha put it like that but Maria supposed it was true. Her lack of an answer told Natasha everything.
“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Maria couldn’t help but ask once again.
“Nope.” Natasha sounded sure about it that time and Maria wasn’t sure if she missed whatever she was supposed to be doing or if she was just planning on skipping. “I’m not leaving.”
“What?” Maria tried to sit up but Natasha’s hand slipped just a fraction more under her shirt and Maria felt like putty as her body automatically melted back into the frame behind her. “You don’t have to--”
“You of all people should know that I don’t do things I don’t want to,” Natasha replied. The woman’s head moved forward to rest on Maria’s shoulder, her breath tickling Maria’s neck as she spoke. “I am quite stubborn.”
Maria took a deep breath and decided that she would have a long conversation with Natasha later about listening to her superiors and following orders.
However, for the moment, Maria would just let herself sink back into the arms holding her steady and ride out the rest of CU0013 feeling calm, safe, and warm.