Finding Out (DID!Jason AU)
Reyna sighed and yawned looking through the library at new rome hoping to find a couple books about DID. She had woken up way before the sun itself to avoid questioning and missing out on too much of her duties.
Jason had told her about it on her quest a week or so ago and she decided it probably be best to find some books about it herself to avoid overwhelming him with questions but the library barely had any books about it but she was able to snag two.
As she settled down on a seat at the far back of the Library " Dissociative Amnesia and Pieces of the mind" she said reading the title in a whisper, Reyna flipped through the pages of the book trying to gain as much info as she could as quickly as possible, she ended up learning a lot about it the symptoms, types of alters about dormancy and what not.
She was surprised about how much she related to some of these but quickly dismissed the idea in her mind. "I doubt that's even possible for me to have that I don't even experience amnesia in the slightest though sometimes I wished I did " she whispered to herself thinking back to the incidents on the pirate ship.
She looked outside and noticed that the sun was rising bathing the sky in different shades of orange. She decided she had been here long enough and got up taking the books with her in case she needed a reference for anything.
She ended up taking her usual route to the via principia and stayed at her desk she started reading the second book "DID and OSDD" she read the title in her head taking note of the subscript said it had the DSM-5 recognized symptoms. She stopped suddenly when reading the criteria's for the symptoms realizing she checked a lot of boxes for all the symptoms except one previously which was amnesia but upon reading the symptoms on OSDD 1 she got confused.
"Nah that aint possible I cant have it right I mean its completely normal to argue with yourself right, or not feel attached to your past and to feel like different people sometimes" she kept rambling on trying to convince herself that everything was completely normal. She slammed the book shut when she heard a noise only calming down when she realized it was Jason.
"Hey Jace wassup,... it is Jason right"
"Yeh it's me you're awake early today also by the way you look like shit what time did you sleep, you know what forget that what time did you wake up"
"Late and early respectively" she starts with a grin "also I don't look like shit and I think you should know that, you're eyesight is probably just broke"
Jason rolled his eyes at that sarcastic comment going to sit down on her desk "What were you even doing, work? this early in the morning."
"First of all get of my desk" she said as she shoved him off "and secondly I was in the Library looking for some important books"
"Important books, wait you read?" as Reyna made a sound of mock hurt "of course I read what do you expect"
"Well nothing but you seem to busy for that, what were you reading anyways?"
"Just a book about stuff. Hey give that back" She exclaims as Jason takes the book from her desk, before she sees Jason's blush
"I uhm I was just you know tryna find out some stuff without well overwhelming you"
"Thanks" he murmurs while putting the book back.
"Did I do something I wasn't meant to" "No not at all I'm just surprised that you did that" Jason exclaims hurriedly.
"also I'm gonna get some drinks soon do you want anything"
"Yeh Hot chocolate with caffeine please" she paused debating whether to say the second thing on your mind "Also may I ask you a question, about your system I mean"
"First of all that can't be healthy and second of all shoot, I'll try to answer the best I can"
"Uhm how did you like find out about it like find out that you're a system and stuff I'm not trying to say I don't believe you I'm just wandering why"
"Why are you asking?" Jason drags a chair from the wall close to her desk with a small but noticeable frown on his face.
"You know research purpose" Reyna was avoiding his gaze in a way he got concerned
"Research Purposes as in how" A small snarl coming unto his face as he rubbed his temples with his voice becoming noticeably different
"Oh. Grace. Hi wassup I didn't mean to uhm upset you guys" she thought about it for a second "also was it Jason fronting before or where you just pretending to be him"
"And how does that matter" Grace raising his volume in annoyance.
"Okay calm I'll drop the question" she said in an effort to calm him down.
"I Didn't ask you to drop the question I asked you why you asked it" he tried to reduce his volume this time as to not alarm anyone
"I want trying to fakeclaim you or anything and if it has to do with trauma you don't have to tell me really its better I just drop it"
Grace sighed in annoyance "whatever at this point I'm way too tired to care"
"Are you still gonna buy the drinks or.."
"What drinks" he asked in annoyance.
"well Jason was gonna buy me something but just wanted to know" trying to Ignore the voices in her head arguing about whether to punch him or not "Yeh completely normal" she muttered under her breath
"What was that" Grace started as he got up "and also your not getting any drinks"
"It was nothing and also if you're going somewhere bye"
Grace walked out without saying another word
“Rude” she muttered
Damn I hate that guy
It’s not his fault you’d probably react the same
Reyna tuned out the voices yet again has she had grown accustomed to
“I cant have it right this is probably normal just how everyone experiences stuff. I should get back to work”
She placed the book in one of her desks drawers and started sorting through the documents of today
Jason ended up coming back midday to catch up on his work but not before going to talk to Reyna
"Hey sorry about Grace he's really protective and stuff"
"Its fine I shouldn't have triggered him"
"Well more like you almost triggered JJ then he took the front but well it's not your fault I just well I mistakenly thought of well ya know some uhm memories"
she groans "well I have to be careful next time then don't I"
"Yeh I guess so"
"Hey uhm did he well answer you question" he continued when he saw Reyna shaking her head "Well it just happened I always knew about the memory gaps and people in my head and what not but well one day I just well uhm found the name for it and then everything made so much more sense and well I didn't feel crazy anymore"
"Jace" she paused for a second "Yeh Rey"
"what if well what if I think I'm a system"
Jason narrowed his eyes "A system? do you also have memory gaps?"
"No" Though sometimes I wish I did she thought to herself
"But I was reading through the book earlier and I found something about this thing called OSDD and well the criteria for OSDD1B means you have all the symptoms besides Amnesia and sometimes I hear voices in my head arguing but I always thought it was normal until you told me about DID but then I thought well I don't have amnesia so I probably don't have it but then I found out about that and then the voices also sometimes argue and stuff and I don't know" she let out with barely any breaths in between "So I was just wondering and stuff" she panted out
oh oh she may be finding out one of the voices said in a sarcastic tone
"Jace?" she said after Jason just stared at her in silence for a few minutes
"Sorry I just didn't know what to say and well Grace" "He's probably insulting me isn't he" "Yeh but like wow that's, that's alot I uhm have you talked to the uh voices, do they take over sometimes you know the other stuff" he continued sitting down on a chair at the desk
"I've never talked to them and I don't know if they've taking over before but then there are stuff that happens that don't seem like something I'd do and when I look back at those times it doesn't feel like me doing them it feels like watching someone else do stuff, I just I don't know I thought I'd ask for your Advice"
she couldn't just talk to us
oh shush do you always have to be so judgy
it's her fault for being dumb
"Well have you tried talking to them" Jason finally said after more moments of silence
wow I'm sure she couldn't think of that by herself Sherlock,.. but then again she hasn't tried yet so well
"No" Reyna admitted "Then I guess that's your first step try to find out if they have names and such and more about them"
"But I can hear them talk but I'm not sure if I know how to respond" she replied with a slight frown "well write it down if they're talking to you they might be able to see the front and stuff and go take a break I'll finish up here"
"Jacee but I don't need a break" she whined "Well you may be to tired in the night don't worry if anyone asks I'll say you're sick"
"Oh please like anyone would believe basically everyone knows that even when I'm sick I still come in-" "Which is very unhealthy by the way" Jason cut in "and you need to catch up on vacation days anyways
"Fine" Reyna sighed even if she appreciated it, it doesn't mean she has to like it "and thanks"
wow the workaholic takes a break for us I feel so special
you really need to stop being so mean to her
whatever you deal with her I'm gonna talk to the others
"others there were others" she thinks to herself
she ends up in her room before looking through her drawers to find a notepad and a pen
Hi what's your name she writes
ah you're in your room and now you've found out no longer tuning us out love?
how old are you
you ask a lot of questions uh don't yah
don't worry love all will be found out in due time but for now I want you to know my name is Brooks
pronouns? or gender or age or all, what type of alter are you and where did the other one go do you know their name
ah yes my boyfriend I doubt he wants to disclose his name their pretty annoyed with you
annoyed with me why and you didn't answer my other questions
ah the voiced sighed ah yes I use he/him pronouns and yes before you can ask I am gay and well I'm what most people will define as a caretaker
Gay? you're a boy you still haven't answered the other two questions
yes I'm a boy and there's nothing wrong with being gay love and for the other questions he left front space and went into the inner world or the headspace whichever you prefer to call it and well I'm 19
that old uh well why his he annoyed with me and how old is he
well first he's annoyed with you because you've always tuned us out but immediately you found out about what a system is you wanted to talk with us I'm trying to make them see reason but he just doesn't want to also their age will also remain undisclosed for now also he uses he/they pronouns if you wish to know
I see that does make sense also have you guys ever uhm what was that word again oh yeh fronted before and also why do I feel dizzy
for someone who's read this much on it I'm surprised you don't know the answer to both. yes we've fronted before and your dizzy because of how near to the front I am and cause your dissociating do you wish to ground yourself or do you want to finish our conversation first
It's fine I'm not to dizzy also does that mean A switch is going to happen
not necessarily love I might come near to the front or you might just take over completely, I have to go soon though
what why
cause love you need rest. You can find out more about us tomorrow mmkay?
I'm completely fine
Jason was right you look pretty tired and I'd prefer if you'd just oblige I don't want to have to front to take care of us
Have you guys fronted recently
yes I have and my boyfriend definitely has but he's usually more of co-front with you but he also fronts quite a number of times
How's the inner world like how many others are there when will i get to meet them
all in due time love now get some rest I'm leaving soon and I won't answer any more of your questions okay?
fine Reyna half threw the notepad away a bit frustrated but at the same time so many questions and so little answers but she'll have to be satisfied for now
she yawns thinking about what Brooks said contemplating whether to go back to work or to sleep but taking his warning she laid down on the bed making a mental reminder to tell Jason about what happened tomorrow as she goes to sleep she hears one of the lullabies her sister used to sing for her when she had trouble falling asleep and she knew Brooks was still nearby and that they'd probably continue talking tomorrow
Goodnight love.
The last thing she heard before she drifted to sleep