How to: How to Make Hobie Jealous

For the most part, Ganke forgot about his little discovery. He had a life outside of Miles’s after all.

Plus he had so much to do. Like for example, stay in his dorm and play video games, eat an unhealthy amount of junk food, and watch Spider-Man 2 fail videos. And also homework.
Sadly they were lower priority and never got done but whatever, he’ll make sure to do it later. Or better yet, get his bestest friend Miles to do it.
Ganke is pretty sure it’s apart of his job as a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man anyways so it’s not like he can complain.

Okay off topic- his point is that in the 6-7 hours Miles was gone, he wasn’t actively thinking about apparently in the closet Miles and the punk that obviously likes him.

But he’s quickly reminded when Hobie decides to drop Miles off directly to his dorm- which he never does- and stare at Ganke for a whole minute before leaving. Not even glaring, just, looking or observing with his whole being. Which still blows Ganke’s mind just thinking about. Both the fact that Hobie was so blatant about it and that he left with a portal to a whole different dimension. Though one is obviously more surprising than the other. Like c’mon, the dude’s usually looks so laid back. To see him wear his emotions on his sleeve instead of, well, doing whatever he does- is WAY more surprising than there being a multiverse.

What isn’t surprising is that Miles comes back gushing about him showing Hobie yet another new place with a view only the two know about at god knows where.

“Oh, I almost forgot! He seemed curious about you, asked what Minecraft was and what kids we had and stuff. And…” Miles cuts himself off, seemingly hesitant to say the rest of his sentence, “he asked if we were dating.” Miles didn’t look away from the tv they were playing Minecraft on, but Ganke didn’t miss the way the tip of his ears turned red. Heh, baby.

“Guess he’s not used to people jokingly flirting, or specifically me. Still sucks though, considering I like him,” Miles slouches his posture and doesn’t necessarily sulk but he does let out a breathe that sounds like a huff. “He probably asked to see if you’re still single,” He says reassuringly while Miles scoffs.

“Be for real, I doubt he’s even looking for a relationship,” he says, disappointed.

“But on the bright side I now know he doesn’t have a problem with gay people,” he says as he easily kills some skeletons that attacked him in an ahe stumbled upon while mining.

“Dude. You thought him of all people, was homophobic. isn’t his whole thing is about equality and how shitty society is?” He says with a deadpan look on his face as he turns to look at Miles. “Well yeah but- actually, that’s a good point. That was kinda dumb,” Miles face drops and his eyebrows raise in realization as he makes eye contact with Ganke. “Yeah yeah, nothing new. Anyways are you done mining yet? You’ve been down there for hours, we officially have enough iron to last us years,” He awkwardly coughs as his ears turn red. Stretched out eye contact just had that affect on him.

“Huh, I guess I have been down here for a while. Lemme just… oh. Ganke.” “What?” “There’s a problem…” Ganke waits for him to finish his sentence but after 20 seconds of silence he just sighs. “Which is??” “I’m lost.”

He whips his head over to Miles, but the boy is already looking the opposite way in shame as he nervously laughs. “What do you mean you’re lost?” “I don’t…- I don’t know how to get back up.” Ganke groans, he knows the dude is probably tired but this is ridiculous. “Well, if you want to go back up you turn back up to the stairs you made and press this specific button in the controller-“
“I know how to jump! I mean like, I don’t know which stairs lead back up. Or even where they are, yeah I definitely am lost,” Miles looks at his best friend with a sheepish grin as the other looks one second away from strangling him.

—————————

That night, Ganke had to go down for Miles himself and make a trail of flashlights to find their way back up to the surface. Yeah, not very fun. At all.

But to make up for the years deducted from Ganke’s life-span he said he would pay for Ganke’s food so he supposes it was almost worth it. Almost.

They both agreed that 1. Miles is too broke to pay for both of their meals at any half decent place because he doesn’t know what the concept of saving is and 2. They were way too sleep deprived and lazy to go out of their way to change their clothes or take a shower, so they settled on McDonald’s, the “restaurant” of the poor.

On the short walk there, they mostly just joked around and tried to stay awake while literally leaning on each other so they don’t collapse. Turns out that when mining for about 3-4 hours and not sticking to one path, it’s almost impossible not to get lost, especially when some idiot didn’t think to make a torch path or literally any sign of escape. Another shocking discovery is that by spending a whole hour trying to get a Minecraft avatar out of a hole they dug themselves, it chips away the time a person could’ve spent sleeping. Shocking right?

“Dude can’t you just swing us there?” He groans as he puts even more weight onto Miles, which causes him to stumble a little. “Does it look like I have swinging energy? I don’t mind doing it but you would have to sign a contract just in case we both fall to our demise,” he says as he switches the tables, leaning his weight against his roommate. The effect wasn’t the same though, since of their 1 inch height make it so that Ganke fell on top of him while Miles was just a weight on his shoulder.

“Yeah I’ll pass, we’re right here anywayss…” he draws his sentence out as they turn the corner to see people running away in terror from a tiny clown car. “What the fuck,” they both start to burst out laughing. “Oh- oh my god, it’s so tiny. Is anyone even driving??” Miles manages to wheeze out. “Nah, no way. Only a toddler could fit in that,” he chuckles but they both freeze as a maniacal laugh comes from the tiny car and it eats a trash can that was nearby.

“Oh.”

Miles immediately makes eye contact with his friend, and leaves with a nod as he heads to a nearby alley.

“Uhm.” He stands awkwardly as he watches this tiny car eat the litter on the ground. And there was a lot. Since you know, this is New York. But after about a minute Ganke decides he doesn’t want to be here when it runs out of used cigarettes to eat and decides to find another meal. Plus, something seems… wrong. He can’t put his finger on it exactly, but the car looks different than it did before. He can feel it.
Hm, maybe Miles transferred his spider senses to Ganke like it he was a Bluetooth connection, unlike the headphones he never lets him borrow.

He waits until he’s jogged for about 8 minutes and has gone 4 blocks from the McDonald’s to stop and take a breather. How did Miles do this everyday? That spider must’ve been on steroids or something.

Never mind the steroid spider though. Ganke was starting to feel a little useless just standing here, so he decided- like any other citizen- to find some apartment where someone will hopefully be at the door to let him in. Then if fingers crossed they did he would go up to the roof of the building and try to see Miles go kick some voracious litter vanquisher vehicle butt.

Of course, the plan didn’t really work out like he thought.

Or that’s what he thought he would think.

However, because of a kind old lady that was watering the flowers outside her apartment opening the door for him he got to the roof without any problems. Of course, he had to lie and say his parents were gonna open the door for him but a win is a win and making it to a rooftop with a nice view was definitely a win in his books.

Well, if you even consider a monster car a nice view. What once was a car that was so small it was laughable is now the size of the bodega it’s trying to eat and is easy to spot from 4 blocks down. So… he guesses that his weird feeling was actually not spider senses but him using his eyes. Bummer.

Oh yeah also the car is going to eat the bodega. But then it isn’t, so, not a bummer.

He can barely process anything of what conspires the whole altercation, but all he knows is that he saw his closest friend swoop in, pull the huge car back with a few webs, and casually swing the car in the opposite direction while waving at HIM. (Trust him, he made sure to check. He asked his eye doctor if his prescription needed to be updated a day later and she just looked at him stupid and responded by telling him he bought new ones 3 months ago.) And that’s all he needs to know in order for his little gay heart to start beating while crazy for someone that is only his friend.

Fortunately for him, and not so fortunate for Miles and the whole city, the car just turns back around and the only thing stopping it from eating the whole block is a few measly little webs holding it back. This is good for him (kinda) because his heart is now beating for different, normal reasons. Like panic. (That isn’t gay, because gay panic is definitely real and not exactly normal but definitely normalized enough that it needs clarification.)

By now the whole block has been evacuated by cops and closed down and the only people around to worry about are the police officers near the scene. That just so happens to include Spider-Man’s very own dad, someone that he’s had dinner with along with his wife and son.

Shit.

Ganke’s anxiety and he bets the whole neighborhoods anxiety heightened the longer the car kept driving even while being restrained. It was clear that if nothing happened, the webs would snap.

—————————

Shit shit shit shit! That’s all that ran through Miles head as he sees as he sees his own webs get increasingly get weaker. The worst part is that not only will the bodega and probably the whole block be destroyed, but his dad and all the other cops will end up collateral. He can feel his lungs close up as he has trouble breathing, but he refused to loosen his hold on the web.

He just has to hold on, things will hold out. They have to.

His heart goes to a halt as the only thing keeping his dad safe snaps and he immediately goes to swing around the car fully. He ends up being scraped by the cats teeth- which ew- but he officially has a new hold on the car and from what his spidey senses are telling him, he has back-up.

—————————

Ganke almost has a heart attack when he sees a black and red blob fly right in front of the monster car. Seriously- it was about to quit without its 2 week notice he swears- but his worries lesson when he sees an orange little portal open up on top of the scene. And trust his word, he’s never been so happy that all of Miles’s spider buddies have attachment issues and visit one another at ridiculous hours like 6 in the morning. (He said they stayed up late, he never mentioned them going to bed)

But he’s also mildly concerned because Hobie Brown just dropped out of his portal with his guitar playing a tune that literally shattered half of the car and he’s 99.9% sure he did that without knowing there was a enemy. Unless he has Miles specific spidey senses, which is ridiculous.

—————————

Miles’s lungs finally take in some air as Hobie gives him a casual greeting.

“How’d you know I was in trouble?” He smiles but Hobie just hums. They both look over to the car as they hear thumping from inside. Weird, he was sure it was a sentient vehicle. If he’d have known there was a driver things might’ve been easier. That’s probably on him though for assuming, this is 2023 after all.

He looks over to the punk and they both nod in silent communication as they head closer to the vehicle. Miles aggressively rips open the vehicle door with a quick tug and grabs whoever’s inside by the shirt. He’s pissed, and if his dad who doesn’t know he was his son wasn’t watching, he would’ve punched the dudes teeth in.

“Yo, who are you?” He says, pulling some tiny guy with a red afro and a red squeak nose up so they can meet face to face. If he wasn’t enraged right now, he probably would’ve laughed and pissed himself. “Well excuse you, you’re outside my establishment!” the guys nose squeaks, which he guesses is actually a real body part of his and is a nervous tic, as he huffs out a response. “Are you on fucking crack?” He sneers as he hears Hobie snort and let out a little “you show ‘em.” “What- no! I’m the founder of this restaurant and you nor any of MY employees are showing me respect!” The wannabe Ronald McDonald splutters as he gets jostled by Miles. “Now what kind of bull-“ “Wait, as much as I loved this, that’s not a porky. I just got a text from Gweeny saying there’s an anomaly here and to check up on you since she’s busy. In’t that nice of ‘er?” The punk says casually, like a clowns life wasn’t on the line.

“Oh.”

“Well, that still doesn’t justify trying to destroy a random bodega that YOU” he drops the clown, and with a squeak of his nose, the clown scrambles off the ground to run away, “don’t own!” Hobie opens a portal with his watch and just like that a little bitch of an anomaly is sent back to its original universe.

“Thanks.” He sighs, putting his hand up for a fist bump. But the punk decides to instead rap his whole hand around him as he leads them away from gaping police officers, including his dad.

“How has the day been treating ‘ya?” “Hobie, it’s only been 12 hours since we’ve seen each other. And those were in the nighttime.” He smirks. “Well that doesn’t matter when you don’t sleep, does it Peter Pan?” He smirks right back as he lets Miles put more of his weight onto him. The boy is surprised at this and stumbles a little before sheepishly resting against him as they walk. “Don’t look so gobsmacked, it looks like the weight of all your ‘sponsibilitles are under your eyes,” he lets out an incredulous laugh at that, “Isn’t that a bit dark?” “Nah, it’s just ‘tha truth. What’s dark is the sky when you’re supposed to sleep.” “Aren’t you the one who hates social constructs? Cause im pretty sure sleeping in the night is pretty limiting.” He says smugly as he tries not to laugh, Hobie could say anything and it would automatically put him in a good mood. “Nope, it’s science. That mentality is just what society would want you to have in order for you to do all the sabotaging yourself.” He says smugly “Yeah yeah.”

Miles chuckles but stops suddenly as he realizes he’s forgotten something. “Wait hold on! I came here with Ganke,” Hobie lets out a tiny scoff at the name, but he doesn’t realize as he’s already busy texting Ganke . Surprisingly he gets an immediate answer of a “look up!!!” as he hears running coming from behind him.

“Dude, you gave me a heart attack!” Ganke skids to a stop and starts catching his breathe. “I saw- huff- everything from some rooftop and -huff- ran all the way back,” He practically flops on top of Miles and looks over to Hobie. “Sup.” He gets a nod of acknowledgment and a tiny “wagman” before he looks over the two boys. “You both look knackered, didn’t get no sleep?” He teases, but he looks surprised when he gets an immediate nod from the duo, whom have decided to lean against him like a set of dominoes. Or more accurately, Ganke is making Miles carry all of his weight and Miles was forced to grab onto Hobie so they both don’t fall. He would feel bad in any other circumstance, but he was promised McDonald’s and instead burned off the calories of a bigmac he should’ve been enjoying.

“You owe me a McFlurry now, and an apple pie.” He complains.

“Ew, those things are gross!”

Ganke whips his head up to look at the boy terrified before practically screaming. “You don’t like McFlurries?!?” “What- dude no- I meant those apple monstrosities!” Ganke lets out a breathe of relief as used his newfound energy to carry his own weight and start walking down to McDonald’s. If he was going to have to walk, he was gonna get his McFlurry. “How can you not like apple pie? I’ve seen you fuck up some pumpkin pie before,” “Nuh uh, what we’re not gonna do is say apple pie and pumpkin are the same. Plus, I didn’t say I hated apple pie. But… from McDonald’s??? I’ll let them make my not chicken chicken nuggets but I’m not gonna stand with the disrespect and disgrace that are their apple pie.” Ganke hears the punk laugh their debate and give Miles a playful smack to the back. “That’s right, Don’t let these big corporations trick you, there’s probably not one single apple in there.” But the playful tone they had going was put on pause once him and Hobie noticed the way Miles winced at the touch on his back.

“What ‘appened there?” “Yeah, was it from the car? But the only time you hit close to it was from that last swing.” Miles looks sheepish as both of the boys next to him basically look down at him in order to hear his answer. He’s not even short, his friends are just all giants. Except for short king Pavitr though.

“Eh, I just scraped that cars teeth, nothing big.” “Nothing big, dude! That’s an infection waiting to happen.” “Pff, I’m Spider-Man. It’s probably already healed, right Hobie?” Miles looks over to Hobie only to see his lips in a thin line.

“Nah, ‘e’s right. A jam jar’s ‘hamsteads aren’t supposed to be near your back. You should get that checked out, your mum a doctor isn’t she?” He says as he glances at his back. There’s a little hole in his suit from the scratch and there’s only a tiny amount of dried blood near the wound, the bleeding seemed to have stopped as soon as it started.

“Ugh whatever, you’re no help. I’ll disinfect it when we get back,” Miles shrugs it off. He doesn’t get why it’s such a big deal, he’s seen Hobie downplay a concussion before. Who cares about a little scrape?

“Yeah you better, if anything I’ll do it before I pass out. You never do it properly,” Ganke groans. Hobie just looks over at both of them before sporting a big grin on his face.

“Here, can’t have people noticing the big gash on your back can we?” he jokes as he drapes his battle jacket onto Miles. Ganke was waiting to see the boy turn red and panic like how he describes when he comes back to rant to him, but instead he’s met with a surprise when he instead smirks and gets comfortable in the jacket, putting it fully on.

“You know my bloods gonna get all over this right?” Miles looks over at the punk who shrugs and wraps with arm around the boy. “Wouldn’t want it any other way,” his smile then becomes most soft and honestly Ganke is not appreciating the vibe AT ALL. Like c’mon, what’s with all this romcon shit? And why does he have to be near to bear witness to it?

“Ugh you guys are gross,” He groans as they finally make it to McDonald’s. Miles really bamboozled him huh? No wonder Hobie likes the dude- they’ve been flirting this whole time! What the hell is the dude even thinking at this point, cause yesterday made Miles look like a two-timer. But at the same time, if Miles denies the possibility of Hobie ever liking him, could he be the same way???

Ugh, this isn’t even his relationship, and his little prank was just that; a prank! Plus, Miles denied them having any sort of relationship so if Hobie thinks otherwise it’s not on them… probably.

Anyways the line wasn’t long so they quickly got to order what they wanted, which wasn’t anything too crazy, except maybe the fact that Hobie just got a “water” and nothing else. And by water he means he told the worker he would get water then turned around and filled his cup with soda that has enough sugar to give a kid diabetes, free of charge. He doesn’t call him out on it though, he respects the grind.

There food was made quick, since any potential costumer they could’ve had left as soon as they saw the bad advertising outside, and it was fresh too so, guess the hungry car did do something after all.

“You know… I think all that running…made the food… better.” he put handfuls of fries in his mouth as he was talking. “Eh, I guess. That off brand Ronald got me pissed though, almost knocked the clown out of him.” He grumbles while Ganke looks at him in confusion and Hobie looks in amusement. “Yah, you missed it. Barely was a fight, Miles left him shaking in his boots! His little bugle started squeaking and I think he piddled a little!” Hobie laughed loud as he gave Miles a pat on the shoulder, making sure to avoid hurting his back.
“Woah woah woah, what do you mean a clown? I only saw a car.” “Well the car couldn’t have been driving itself dude,” Miles laughs, like HE was the one not making sense.
“Uh, yes it could’ve, it had teeth!”

“He’s gotta point Miles, that jam jar had a nice pair of hampsteads on it,” Hobie teases while Ganke nods.

“Yeah yeah whatever, I guess that makes sense,” Miles waves them off, “We didn’t find out until we kicked the cars ass and heard someone inside. I ended up-“ “Peter Pan over here ended up busting down the door, grabbing ‘im by the dicky and spooked the ‘Gordon out of ‘im!” Hobie praises as he playfully shakes him. And Ganke guesses that makes sense, though he bets the punk is over exaggerating it, the simp.

Wait…

“You grabbed him by his dick!?!” He cackles.

“What-no I didn’t!”

“Mhm sure, dude that’s a bad guy! Keep that gay shit in the closet where it belongs.” He jokes, but he sees Hobie whip over to look at him with a deadly glare. Uh oh.

“Woah woah, you gotta a problem with that?” He glared at him, daring him to say yes. “No no no no dude, I’m not homophobic!” He hurries to defend himself before he gets his ass beat but Hobie just looks more piss. He scoffs, while Miles just quietly snickers between them. The traitor.

“I’m literally the homo in homophobic! Gay as can be, straight as a circle! No discrimination here!” Miles can’t help himself as he bursts out laughing. “Uh huh, whatever you say but- pfft- for your information, I did NOT touch some random clowns weiner. I’m waiting for marriage, yes sir,” Miles laughs in between his sentence.

“Wait for real?” That’s new. Ganke just thought it was because he couldn’t pull.
“Uhhh I don’t actually know. I was just saying shit,” he shrugs and shoves a bunch of fries into his mouth. He already finished eating most of his food, which is insane from how much he ordered.

“Eh, marriage is a hoax anyway. Just a way for the government to control love, and for bloke to have control over polone,” Hobie chips in and Ganke blinks in surprise. He was so quiet he forgot he was there. Which is crazy cause of how big his presence is.

“Uh- I guess that means I shouldn’t wait until then…?” Miles says awkwardly. “Heh, virgin.”

“Okay wow Ganke, just wow. It’s not like I couldn’t, I just wanna wait. I can’t imagine touching someone like… that,” Miles grimaces, “My opinion will probably change when I’m older though so,” He shrugs and Ganke snickers and mutters “virgin” under his breathe.

“That’s probably for the best, there’s some guy in my class that says he doesn’t wash his dick OR ass. Dude had me rethinking everything.” Miles looks at him in horror and Hobie grins. “He said ‘hat in front of ya whole class!” He questions enthusiastically as he leans his arm - which is really fucking long by the way- over to give him a little shake. “Yeah dude! Acted like it was something to be proud about and ended up backtracking when everyone looked at him crazy,” He laughs. “Oh that’s minging!” The punk cackles as they finally make it to Miles and Ganke’s school.

“Okay so, you’re technically not supposed to be here cause of the no visitors rule soooo…”

“Window?”

“Yup, hold on Ganke.” Wait what.