The group sat huddled in Amber Freeman’s living room, waiting for the girl to finish cleaning up whatever vase the drunken party goers that occupied the girl’s house had broken this time. Tara felt herself sigh as her eyes flit around the room anxiously, silently hoping her taller friend would hurry up and take the empty space next to her on the couch before Wes returned from the bathroom. She took in the room while she impatiently waited for Amber. The girl’s once meticulously clean house was a mess, red solo cups littering nearly every surface. Tara held back a grimace at the sight but didn’t let it bother her too much, as she knew Amber had likely already scheduled for a cleaning service to come by the next day.
“You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here,” slurred Chad, who had been standing by Amber’s front door ushering the last few drunken kids out of the house. Tara watched as he clapped one of his football buddies on the back nearly hard enough to send the sizable kid flying down the front steps. Chad laughed and slammed the door shut, turning back to the group of friends. He wobbled slightly as he approached the couch before throwing his body onto it, quickly tossing an arm around Liv’s shoulder. “After party time!” he smiled.
Tara could hear Amber in the other room muttering to herself and clanking around with the vase. She felt her lip quirk up at the thought of her friend likely sending mental death threats to whoever was responsible for the damaged decoration.
Mindy looked away from Chad and Liv to avoid gagging and turned towards Tara. She noticed the girl's happy expression and felt a devilish smirk appear on her own face. There’s nothing Mindy loved more than teasing the shorter girl. “Hey T,” she called, “Bet I know who you wish was sitting next to you right now.”
Tara felt herself blush as she stuttered out a response, trying her best to sound unbothered. “Oh yeah, and who would that be?”
Mindy’s smirk grew even bigger but her reply quickly got cut off by Wes entering the room. The boy surveyed the room quickly and smiled widely when he noticed the empty seat next to Tara. He all but ran over to the couch and sat himself so close to Tara that their thighs were touching. Tara felt her stomach turn, from the alcohol or the swirling emotions in her gut, she didn’t know. She shot Mindy a pleading look but the girl only cleared her throat awkwardly and called out to the only person not currently in the room with the group of friends. “Freeman, get in here already!”
It had become tradition for the group to convene together after every party Amber threw. Whether it was to watch a movie, play a board game, or simply chat about the chaotic events of the night, the group greatly cherished the extra time they got to spend together. Tonight they would likely just talk amongst themselves, the party having been a particularly rambunctious one. Tara especially enjoyed nights like these, where they could just exist in their own little space together, uninterrupted by shitty parents or uninteresting classmates. She tried not to let Wes gluing himself to her side bring down her mood.
Speaking of the boy, he was currently talking animatedly about some story his mom told him while Tara nodded, pretending to listen. Really she was just waiting for Amber to finally enter the room.
Lately things had sort of shifted between the two friends. Tara thought back to a few nights ago when she had gotten into yet another argument with her mom as the older woman had given her zero notice about her upcoming business trip, which required her to be out of town for a whole month. She had been close to tears when she hastily texted Amber about the situation. Just as Tara was about to tuck herself into her bedroom for the night, a series of knocks sounded at her front door. She opened it to find Amber, who had clearly rushed over due to her pajama-clad appearance. She wrapped Tara into a hug as the smaller girl sobbed into her chest. Amber locked the door, scooped Tara up as if she had weighed nothing, and carried the girl up the stairs to her bedroom. She placed the girl in her bed and climbed in beside her, pulling Tara back into her chest as she softly and delicately stroked her hair. Tara glanced up and felt her heart clench at the gentle way Amber was looking at her. Tara held eye contact with the taller girl as her tears began to slow down. She tried not to move a muscle as Amber’s hands cupped her cheeks, thumbs moving to lightly wipe away the falling tears. Amber leaned forward and Tara felt her eyes flutter shut at the warm feeling of Amber’s lips tenderly meeting her forehead. Tara cuddled further into Amber’s embrace to hide her flustered expression, hoping to be swallowed up into the girl’s arms. As if Amber could hear her unspoken wish, the girl’s arms tightened around Tara and the two quickly fell asleep at the shared comfort and warmth.
Tara snapped back to reality as Wes spoke up, “Tara hey? Are you okay?”
He sounded concerned, she noticed, but she couldn’t be bothered to try to decipher the reason why, still too distracted thinking about that night with Amber. “I’m fine Wes.” she replied. He looked like he didn’t believe her and Tara felt herself inwardly roll her eyes. She wished the boy would give her more space and couldn’t help but feel suffocated by how adamantly he pushed his presence onto her. Tara tried not to feel too guilty at her thoughts, she and Wes were friends and she liked his company, but ever since Mindy had pointed out the boy’s obvious crush on her, she could only fleetingly hope he would somehow get the hint that she didn’t return his feelings. He looked like he wanted to say something more but held back, leaving the two in an uncomfortable silence.
Tara took it as her sign to restart her hopeless glances around the room. She held back a gasp as she met Amber’s eyes, the tall girl standing in the entryway of the living room, her arms firmly crossed and her jaw clamped shut. Tara couldn’t identify what emotion was churning around in Amber’s eyes, but knowing her friend as well as she did, it most certainly wasn’t a pleasant one.
Amber stomped into the room, the sound of her doc martens crushing a cup halting all conversation that had previously occupied the room. She sat next to Mindy, who scooted herself further into the corner of the couch in an attempt to avoid Amber’s wrath. Now the group was finally united, Mindy and Amber’s couch faced Tara and Wes’s while Chad and Liv, placed in the middle of the two, remained blissfully unaware of the impending war that was likely to begin very soon.
Mindy sat up and sighed, knowing it was on her to try to break the silence in the room. “Another successful party Amber.”
Amber, who still looked like she was about to burst into flames, gave Mindy a tight smile, but said nothing. Tara bit her lip nervously as Amber’s bad mood wasn’t seeming to dissipate. She wasn’t sure what had Amber so pissed off and she wanted nothing more than to try to comfort the girl. Wes shifted beside her, moving impossibly closer to her, and Tara felt herself stiffen. He leaned in, as if to whisper something into her ear, but snapped forward at the loud thud of someone hastily standing up.
Startled, Tara’s eyes too flew towards the noise. It was Amber, now standing with her fists clenched and Tara swore the glare she was sending towards Tara and Wes’s direction could kill. Amber glanced around at the group of friends before she spoke, “Well as fun as this has been, I’m going to bed.” Her jaw clenched even tighter and for a second Tara worried she would break it with the force before Amber released it to speak again, “Feel free to take one of the guest rooms or leave, whatever you guys want to do, I really don’t care.” She began to stomp up the stairs before she looked back towards the group once more, “Don’t fuck up my house anymore than it already is.” With one more glare shot in Wes’s direction, she sped to her room and slammed the door.
Chad and Liv, completely unbothered with the tense mood, scrambled down the hall towards one of the mentioned guest bedrooms. Mindy, feeling again as though she wanted to gag at the couple, looked at Wes and Tara. Wes was distracted by his phone while Mindy and Tara struck up a silent conversation, having gotten plenty of practice communicating through reading lips and hand gestures while at school.
Tara furrowed her eyebrows and mouthed ‘Amber?’ trying to understand what had caused the girl’s foul mood. She had been looking forward to spending the rest of the night in the girl’s company (in fact it was the whole reason she had attended the party in the first place) and was upset that it had been cut short.
Mindy fixed Tara with a deadpan look, as if to say ‘really?’ Tara felt herself become even more confused. Mindy sighed at her friend’s obliviousness and gestured wildly between Tara and Wes. Tara still didn’t understand what she was being told.
Before she could continue the conversation, Wes shoved his phone into her face. He smiled at Tara proudly before he spoke up, “Since Amber’s being a bitch and ruined the rest of the night, I asked my mom to come pick us up so we can go hang out at my house. She said yes.”
Tara shot Mindy an alarming look, not knowing what to reply with to reject Wes’s offer. Mindy stifled a laugh and Tara’s eyes widened even more at just how unhelpful Mindy was in situations like these. She flipped her off and turned towards Wes. “Um,” Tara couldn’t stop herself from laughing awkwardly as she rushed to come up with an excuse. “I told my mom I was staying here for the night and she wouldn’t like it if she found out I went somewhere else.” As Wes’s expression fell, she let a quiet apology slip past her lips before rising up from the couch. “I’m gonna go check on Amber.”
It took all of Tara’s willpower not to sprint full speed away from the situation and towards the one person she had been waiting to talk to all night. She knocked softly on Amber’s door and though there wasn’t a reply, she pushed it open slowly before calling out the girl’s name in a soft, questioning voice.
Amber still hadn’t responded and Tara would’ve become even more worried had she not spotted Amber perched at the corner of her bed, arms still firmly crossed and jaw still tightly clenched, glaring holes into the Stab 4 poster positioned perfectly on her wall. Tara slowly approached the girl, coming to a stop right next to her. The room remained silent as Tara couldn’t come up with any words to say.
After a painstaking amount of time had passed, Amber spoke up, though her eyes remained firmly fixed onto her wall. “Do you like him?” she firmly asked.
Tara, once again, found herself completely confused. She had no idea who Amber was talking about. “Wha-”
Amber grit her teeth before quickly interrupting Tara, “God, come on Tar. You know who I’m talking about. Do you like him?”
Tara began frantically racking her brain, trying to remember the earlier events of the party and for the life of her couldn’t remember being around any guy. “Amber I don’t…” Tara trailed off as she finally put the pieces together. Amber had to have been talking about Wes, in fact that’s more than likely why her mood had turned so sour. Though she didn’t understand it fully, Tara knew Amber had a strong dislike for Wes that the boy returned for Amber. Amber must be upset because she disapproved of how close Wes had been to Tara on the couch, and the fact that he had stolen Amber’s unspoken spot for each of these after parties. Tara cleared her throat, “Are you asking me if I like Wes?”
Amber rolled her eyes and Tara tried to ignore the disdain she felt for Amber fixing her with such a negative reaction. She was normally never on the receiving end of Amber’s anger. “Yes Tara. Do you like Wes?” The taller girl spoke curtly, wanting her question to be answered so she could get the pain of what she thought the response would be over with.
“No.” Tara replied so suddenly and surely that Amber felt herself caught off guard, a rarity for her. Tara watched as Amber’s angry expression shifted more towards confusion. Tara spoke slowly this time, to make sure Amber could fully grasp her words, “No, I don’t like Wes.”
Face jumping from emotion to emotion, Amber faced Tara fully. Tara sat down next to Amber now that the girl wasn’t vibrating with annoyance. She waited for a beat until she caught a look of relief in Amber’s eyes. She reached out hesitantly and let her hand cover Amber’s in an attempt to fully calm the girl down. Amber’s eyes became fixated on their joined hands and Tara released the breath she had been holding when Amber didn’t pull her hand away. Tara’s fingers absentmindedly began stroking over the other girl’s hand and she felt the familiar clench of her heart reappear as she took in the softness of Amber’s skin against her own.
When Tara was sure that Amber was fully down from the apparent emotional rollercoaster she had climbed upon, Tara hesitantly broke the comfortable silence they had fallen into to ask a question she always wanted to know the answer to. “Why don’t you like Wes, Amber?”
She heard Amber suck in a sharp breath but upon scanning her face, saw that the girl didn’t wear a furious expression. If anything, Tara would say that Amber looked nervous. At the unfamiliar expression on her friend’s face, Tara didn’t know if she should be more put off by the girl’s nervousness or by her earlier anger. She continued stroking Amber’s hand with her own while she anxiously waited for a response. Finally, Amber spoke, and it was so quiet that if Tara hadn’t been anticipating a response, she wouldn’t have heard her at all. “Because he likes you.”
Tara, again, was left hopelessly confused. Amber didn’t like Wes simply because he liked her? She searched Amber’s eyes for a further explanation and gasped softly when she realized what the shyness in Amber’s expression might’ve been telling her. Tara gulped while Amber looked worriedly into Tara’s eyes. If Tara wasn’t on the cusp of finally figuring out if her buried feelings for Amber were returned, she would’ve gone on a rampage to find out who made the always confident Amber Freeman look so small.
Tara’s head reeled even further (if that was even possible) at her second realization of the night. She was the one who made Amber look so small. She made Amber vulnerable.
Amber seemed to notice that Tara caught on to what the taller girl had kept hidden for so long. She would’ve sworn she was the one with asthma as she found herself unable to breathe while she waited for Tara to respond, to say something. Amber sighed dejectedly, taking Tara’s response to be a negative one. “Look Tara, it’s fine-”
It was Tara’s turn to cut Amber off this time. Sensing that she had been silent too long and sent Amber the wrong message, Tara shook herself out of her daze. “Wait Amber,” she’d never felt so nervous in her life as she went on to ask her next question, Amber’s attention fully on her. “Can I kiss you?”
She waited for a verbal response but what came instead was the feeling of Amber’s lips gingerly meeting her own in a soft, sweet kiss and in that moment, Tara had never felt more complete.