Y/N had never believed that their lycanthropy would be something useful. It had been a curse on their life since the moment they’d contracted it at just seven years old and they’d wanted nothing more than to get rid of it. When the Avengers had approached them in the form of one Steve Rogers, asking if they wanted to join the team Y/N hadn’t hesitated. Their lycanthropy made them invulnerable as well as faster and stronger than the average person and being able to use that to keep people safe rather than hurting them meant more than anything else to Y/N. They’d gone with Steve that day, taking their small bag of things from their old, run down flat; they were glad to finally be leaving it behind and even more happy to be exchanging it for something significantly nicer.
When they moved in, they first had a meeting with Nick, Steve and Natasha. It was an unpleasant meeting because its primary focus was how to put them out of action if things were ever to go wrong. Of course, the answer was easy, silver was the only thing that Y/N was vulnerable to and so was the easy way to take them out. That job fell to Clint Barton, who was instructed to keep at least one silver tipped arrow in his quiver at all times. He may not need it for Y/N but it could always be used and Nick wanted them to be prepared for the event that Y/N went off the rails and decided they didn’t want to be one of the good guys anymore. The thought had upset them more than they dared to express, the last thing they would do was betray the Avengers, but they understood the concern. There was a contingency plan for all of them, theirs was just a little more painful than others.
Over time, Y/N worked hard to prove themself to their teammates and solidified their role amongst Earth’s mightiest heroes. They defended the others on missions, taking more bullets than they could count; tearing attackers limb from limb and trying not to let it take over their dreams; sometimes ignoring orders to get work done faster than the others could manage despite the scolding they got afterwards from team dad Steve and even going on missions alone, just so the others didn’t have to put themselves in so much danger. They were the level of invulnerable that Thor was, so when he was off-world and Banner was busy not being the Hulk, it was Y/N that took on the heavy lifting. They were happy to do it though, no matter how much being shot hurt or how much blood they lost.
Their relationships with the Avengers were strange, each of them considered Y/N to be a friend but they were also aware of how dangerous they were. Of course, each of them were dangerous in their own ways but Y/N was the most consistent threat, lest they suddenly gain a taste for raw meat. Most fear lay in ignorance and Y/N refused to let Bruce conduct any tests on them to improve their understanding - the last thing they wanted was for anything he found out to be leaked and more lycanthropes to be wandering, especially ones not on their side. Y/N and Bruce understood each other, they had a good bond and he was the only Avenger that truly didn’t fear them because if it came down to a fight they both knew that the Hulk would win and Bruce couldn’t be a lycanthrope as well as being the Hulk, so their bites didn’t harm him more than being bitten by anyone else. Steve very much maintained his role as dad outside of missions when it came to Y/N, while they were the same age as Steve he took them under his wing. Y/N had been more broken than any of the team understood when Steve had found them so they were forever grateful to him for convincing Nick that they were an asset that they needed on their side. Natasha respected Y/N the same way she did the Hulk, from a distance. They spent time together outside of missions sometimes, as she was good company when she wanted to be but the occasions were rare, which was fine by them. Tony viewed them as a fun experiment and he often theorised about ways he could improve their disease, cure it or make them a better soldier. Y/N listened out of respect, knowing that not many people actually listened to him but they always turned his ideas away - they had no desire to change their condition in either direction. Thor wasn’t around often enough for Y/N to have any particular connection with him but he was good fun when he was around, he didn’t fear Y/N on the outside but whenever their laugh was particularly animalistic or they showed their teeth, he grew nervous. He claimed to just be cautious but Y/N knew better than that.
Clint was different. He was the one tasked with being ready to take Y/N out and unlike the execution plans for the other Avengers, it was direct. He was always ready, always armed for the worst case scenario and it weighed heavily on him. Clint refused to socialise with Y/N in any capacity outside of a professional relationship, Y/N was sure that they spoke to Thor more than Clint. They understood why he maintained a distance, of course they did, but they didn’t want their potential death to feel like a hit the way Clint did - they wanted to die surrounded by real friends.
As the team shifted and grew, Y/N found that they began to ignore the idea of making any new connections. Things had gone too well for them for too long and it was inevitable that things would soon change, eventually they would need to take that silver tipped arrow, so what was the point of making new friends? They began to believe that Clint was right and that they needed to die like a hit, no feelings and no hesitation. It didn’t matter to them that their new teammates feared them more than the others due to their closed off and quiet nature. They were quite content to be considered intimidating if it meant they couldn’t hurt anyone else. Steve tried to encourage them to socialise more but Y/N ignored him, continuing to spend their time exclusively in their room or in the lab with Bruce.
“Y/N, let’s go!” Tony called out, waving them toward the jet. They were headed out on another mission, this one with a good few of their team members. It wasn’t quite a world ending threat but it was quickly becoming a pain in the ass so they needed to clean it up, and quickly, so there they went. Y/N boarded the jet and sat into one of the seats that they were sure just kept getting smaller, they folded their hands together and kept their eyes on the floor, not feeling the need to make eye contact, nevermind socialise. Steve sat beside them and rested a hand on their knee.
“You alright?” He asked, one brow raised as he searched their eyes for an answer.
“Same as always, Cap.” They replied, saluting at him with a smirk, making him shake his head and leave them to their misery.
The battle was brutal, taking a toll on each of the Avengers. They hadn’t quite geared up enough to be ready for the fight that they’d walked into, quickly wishing that they’d over prepared like they had in the early days - when they were worried that every threat was a new Loki. Despite their bone deep tiredness and all their injuries, they continued to fight and did so mostly harmoniously, destroying the enemy like it was the only thing they knew how to do. Y/N was exhausted, desperate to shift back to their human form despite knowing that it would leave them vulnerable to an attack. They were so tired, but the fight must go on.
They looked around, taking in their surroundings to decide where the enemy was coming from and where it was going. They spotted a group of them surrounding a certain deadly archer and charged for the grouping of them, tearing through it like the wild animal they tried to show people that they weren’t, tearing the creatures limb from limb and getting themself covered in blood in the process. They turned to face Clint, scanning him for injuries quickly, sure that they’d taken out enough of the creatures to spare a minute to check him over. Then, something pierced their back.
Clint had shot his silver tipped arrow earlier, using it to take one of the creatures out, then one of them had taken it from their fallen brother and stabbed Y/N with it. The reason Y/N was vulnerable to the silver tipped arrow was that silver is poisonous to lycanthropes; being stabbed with the arrow meant that poison was seeping into their system and fast, already killing them. Clint took out the creature that had stabbed them and yelled for help over their comms, but Y/N already couldn’t hear him.
“Don’t you fucking die on me, Y/N. I can’t do this again.” He muttered, hooking his arms beneath Y/N’s and dragging them away from the battle and onto the jet where they were safer.
“You don’t need me.” Y/N muttered with a smile, reaching up to rest their hand on Clint’s cheek and he didn’t so much as flinch. Slowly, they shifted back to their human form and from there you could see how fast they were dying. Their skin was discoloured around the wound and the rest of their body was coming up in hives of different concerning colours.
“Yes we do. I do.” He whispered, brows furrowed.
In the time that Clint had spent ignoring Y/N and trying to remain neutral about them to make it easier to take the shot if he ever needed to do it, he had instead fallen for them and hard. He’d been able to watch the gentle way that Y/N cared for the other Avengers and how hard they had tried, first, to avoid hurting anyone and to convince everyone that they weren’t dangerous and then the way that they’d retreated into themself. The way they’d remained isolated to keep the others safe. Then, they’d sacrificed themself for him anyway.
“No you don’t. This is for the best.” They whispered, struggling to keep their eyes open.
“Yes I fucking do. If you die, I’ll bring you back just so I can kill you myself.” He muttered, tears rolling down his cheeks. Y/N brushed the tears away with a shaky hand, still somehow smiling at him.
“It was always going to end like this. At least I managed to keep you alive.” At that moment, the other team members arrived and it all fell into chaos. Clint refused to let them go at first, wanting to remain just beside them so he would know when they were gone.
“Let me go, Clint.” Y/N mumbled, still fighting to keep their eyes open and on him.
“I love you, you idiot. Don’t die.” He finally grumbled, letting them go so that Tony could take them and fly them home to the compound.
It took a few days, but Y/N began to recover. Bruce hadn’t been able to study them in the way that he wanted but he had managed to get a tiny sample of blood after a particularly nasty fight had left them cut open; he’d tested the blood until he was sure he’d be able to counteract silver poisoning if it ever occurred, and he had never been more glad that he’d done something. Clint spent as much time as he was permitted to at their bedside, watching their condition slowly improve.
When Y/N finally opened their eyes, Clint was the first thing they saw.
“Last time I checked, I was dying in your arms.” They mumbled, voice still thick with sleep.
“Good thing we live with like.. Two geniuses.” He replied, taking their hand in his and gently squeezing it.
“Bruce and his pesky experiments.” They said with a laugh, that quickly became a cough. Clint helped them to sit up, then handed them a glass of water. Y/N finished the water quickly, then leaned back against the pillows behind them.
“That arrow hurt like a bitch.” They commented, laughing softly, Clint laughed with them, adjusting his position in the chair he’d spent the previous few days sitting in.
“They’re supposed to.” Y/N stared at Clint for a long moment then, studying him carefully.
“What?” He asked, looking down at himself to check for whatever they were staring at.
“You told me that you love me.” They said, face breaking into a grin. Clint rubbed his face with his palms, sighing while Y/N laughed at his discomfort.
“You just had to remember that, huh?”
“I did. I only remember important things.”
“What are you going to use it for? Blackmail? Bullying material?”
“No,” Y/N shook their head fondly and took Clint’s chin between their fingers, tilting his head to look at them, “this.” Then, slowly, they leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss. They were terrified, they had never expected anyone to be willing to kiss them, but there was Clint, clutching them like his life depended on it.
“I spent years watching you from afar and fell for you that way, what’s your excuse?” He asked after they pulled away, lips just a few centimeters from each other.
“You’re not the only one that likes to people watch.” They replied with a laugh and Clint nodded, then caught their lips with his again.