Peter B Parker is dead.
It all happened too soon. One second Peter is breathing, the next he's dead.
The sound of his neck snapping will forever haunt Miles.
Everyone's eyes were on them that night. People saw him die but they will never feel the way miles felt in that moment.
They say they don't know how the anomaly got out that killed peter.
They say it wasn't really Gwen they say it was just the body the anomaly stole.
The anomaly was a shapeshifter it had taken Gwens form. She would never hurt Peter, Miles knows this is true but he still avoided Gwen for 5 months.
Watching someone who looks exactly like your best friend kill the man that was there for you always is something no one should ever have to see.
Miles may have been the first person to truly realize he was dead.
The choked noises miles made when he realized he was gone are sounds no human should experience, the begging for the older man to come back is something no human should feel, the scream he let out before attacking that anomaly was heart wrenching. No human deserved that especially a 15 year old.
Miles killed the anomaly in seconds. It was violent, it was painful, it was feral.
That was the first person Miles killed; they tried to stop him but he wouldn't stop.
If Miles knew how much he would have suffered after Peter's death he would have drawn it out more.
Miles does not walk past that hallway anymore, he doesn't eat the take out they had that day anymore, he only thinks about how much he hates that day.
Miles has only felt that type of pain once before.
When uncle Aaron died he felt that pain but he had to push through and run from his body.
Miles does not run from Peter's body he holds him until he is cold he refuses to leave the man hoping and praying somehow he will come back.
He never did.
Miles was the one that told MJ.
He doesn't know why he was the first one to show up at her house, he doesn't know why may-day was with her aunt that week, he doesn't know why MJ doesn't yell at him and kick him out, he doesn’t know why she hugs him or why they cry together like one but he is grateful.
He is grateful he was the one to show up, he is grateful Mayday didn't see her dad die and he is especially grateful when MJ cries with him and holds him like her own son.
—-
It takes miles a few days to go home his parents are obviously upset.
“Where have you been?!” his mom yelled
He doesn't say anything he just stands there
“You are in so much trouble mister you're grounded for I don't even know how long?!” she yelled at him
He broke right there the way she yelled reminded him of peter. His scolding tone still full of love. The fear in his voice when he didn’t return from the mission quickly.
Everything reminded him of Peter: the noises of the city, the smell of takeout, the sound of his parents' voices.
So miles broke he fell to the ground right there choking on the sobs coming out of his mouth as he tried to fight his tears, he couldn't he sobbed there unable to be anywhere other than his own sadness he was drowning in grief and he had no idea how to get out.
“baby what happened?” his mom had stopped yelling now she was sitting next to her son holding him. Comforting through pan she didn’t even know was happening.
“He's dead” Miles choked out sobs becoming worse after he said it
“Who died baby” she had asked not understanding what was happening
“Peters dead mami” he had choked out
“Oh baby” she has said rubbing his back. She remembered peter as the older man that had visited there house a few times he was nice and cared for Miles like family
They sat together like that for some time. His mom never asked what happened, she only hugged him and said kind words to him.
—-
Peter didn't want to be stuck in one universe when he died; they all knew this.
He planned to be cremated and give some of his ashes to all of them so he could alway be with them in some way. He told them to choose a spot to spread his ashes there then whenever they went to that spot he would be there for them.
It took miles a year to find a spot good enough for peter.
During that time he went to therapy. He talked with MJ. They have dinner every 2 weeks and talk about their life. He started to integrate himself back into the spider society and spoke to Gwen without thinking of her as the one that killed Peter last month.
He is not over Peter's death; he doesn't think he ever fully will be.
Part of him will always be in that room watching the man that was there for him die, but he has been working on processing that.
Now he sits on a roof next to a mural of Peter he made the first month he died. It has so much emotion in it, his pain and anguish and a mural he just finished of Peter showing the joy and love he felt towards the older man.
Miles misses Peter B Parker. He wishes he was still here but he's not Peter B Parker dead.
Miles cries as he spreads the ashes.
He wants Peter back.
And that's ok.