Suicidal Tendencies
“I cant fucking do this anymore.”
You thought to yourself, staring back at the blurry reflection in the mirror. Tears were welling up in your eyes, despite trying so hard to prevent them. You hated crying, even if it would supposedly make you feel better. It made you feel weak. Not to mention how all the dreaded thoughts just came racing back whenever you could feel that lump in your throat starting to form.
You tried your best to restrain the tears, focusing intently on your breathing, even though you couldn’t get away from all the thoughts rushing through your head. You clutched it hard as you sat down on the cold bathroom floor, pulling your hair in a way to ease the mental pain with something that physically hurt. You bit your lip, stifling any sobs or whimpers that threatened to escape.
You felt your phone vibrate, and that embarrassing ringtone you set as a joke played loudly from it, catching you incredibly off-guard. ”God fucking damn it.” You quickly fumbled it out of your pocket, answering the call hastily.
“Yeah?”
Your voice cracked slightly, sounding completely out of breath.
“Hey.”
It was Hobie. You barely glanced at your phone before answering, but you immediately recognized that British accent of his. You weren’t exactly close, so it shocked you a bit that he had called you, almost enough to make those horrid thoughts go away. Almost.
“You’re bein’ awfully quiet”
“Yeah, well, you’re the one that called. I’m expecting you to talk.”
You wiped your tears away, almost sounding annoyed at his ignorance. There it was, that quick burst of anger you always got after crying, which was just covering up the shame you felt for expressing your feelings.
“Right. My mates cancelled on me, so.. Mind joinin’ me at a concert? I can’t let the tickets go to waste,” Hobie sighed.
“Oh.”
You gathered your thoughts for a moment, taking a few deep breaths to recover from your small crack-up, leaving an awkward silence between you two. Finally, you managed to utter a few words;
“I’d love to.”
“Fuckin’ ace. I’ll text you the rest,” He said, chuckling lighty.
note: yes, the title to this chapter was a reference to the band Suicidal Tendencies. i listened to their self titled album the entire time while writing this tbh.