“T-Tony?“
“Buck?” Steve called as he opened the door to their bedroom. Bucky hadn’t come back down to visit Tony at the medbay since dinner. Steve had knocked on their bedroom door, but when Bucky didn’t answer, Steve assumed he’d finally fallen asleep; something he was not going to interrupt. But then a few hours became several, and now it was just before midnight and Steve still hadn’t seen him. “FRIDAY, scan the compound for Bucky, please.”
Sargent Barnes is on the roof on the east side of the compound. Heart rate and respirations elevated.
“Shit,” Steve muttered to himself as he took off toward the nearest elevator. It took him a minute to notice Bucky on the roof. It was dark, save the faint glow from the street lights several stories below. Bucky was curled on the ground, pressed against the wall.
“Bucky, what’s wrong, baby?” He approached him slowly. “Come inside, it’s freezing out.” As Steve got closer a motion light flickered on. He’s been lying here so long the lights went out. Steve thought, cursing himself for missing this. Steve could hear him whimpering. His cries shook his shoulders. “Buck?” He asked again, continuing to shorten the distance between them. He noticed a small puddle near Bucky’s head. Two more steps and he realized it was blood. “Bucky!” He quickly closed the gap between them and lifted Bucky’s head. There was a large wound on his forehead, littered with tiny pieces of concrete. Steve pulled Bucky into a tight hug, terrified to let him go.
“Bucky, baby, please,” he begged. “Just tell me what happened. It’ll be alright.” And maybe it wouldn’t, he sure as hell didn’t know. But what else was he supposed to say?
“I’m sorry, Stevie. I-I thought-” he sobbed loudly into Steve’s neck, soaking his collar.
Steve rubbed his back, still urging him to talk. “It’s okay, Bucky. It’s going to be okay. Just tell me what happened.”
Steve thinks Bucky answered him, but everything else he said was choked out in Russian. Steve stopped his ministrations on Bucky’s back just long enough to press an alert button on his watch. Moments later Bruce came rushing out of the elevator.
“Hey, Bucky.” He frowned a little as he caught a glimpse of the wound in the light. “Hit your head?” Bucky just stared straight ahead.
“He slipped into Russian,” Steve told him.
Bruce nodded. “I’ll call Nat up.” He shot off a quick text to her before pulling on some gloves and reaching toward Bucky’s head. He flinched hard, but Steve squeezed him tight to his chest; a non-verbal indicator that he was safe. It grounded him just enough to let Bruce begin to pick out the larger chunks of concrete.
“James,” Natasha stepped out of the elevator and immediately spoke to him in her native tongue. “Are you alright?” He shook his head. “Can you tell us what happened?”
“Smashed my head into the ground. I needed everything to stop.” Natasha opened her mouth to relay the message to Bruce and Steve but he cut her off before she even started. “Don’t translate. I don’t want Steve to worry.” It broke her heart that even when he was so vulnerable, he was more worried about Steve than himself. Still, she obliged and told the other two that he fell and hit his head and they believed her.
Bruce pressed some gauze to Bucky’s head to slow the bleeding, while Steve and Natasha helped him to his feet, supporting him on either side. Together they headed down to the medbay, this time with a new patient. As twisted as it was, it was almost a relief that it wasn’t Tony in need of medical attention. Once he was settled upright in a bed of his own, he squeezed Natasha’s hand and muttered, “I’m okay,” in English. She gave him a soft smile and assured him she would be just upstairs if he needed her. It didn’t matter much what language he spoke in though, he didn’t have anything to say. He’d actually much prefer it if his brain would just shut up . He grunted in frustration.
“Bucky, what hurts baby?” Steve fussed.
“Fine.” He mumbled.
Bruce made quick work of Bucky’s injury, disinfecting it and wrapping it in gauze, before dismissing himself from the very tense room.
Steve held Bucky’s hands loosely, looking to his eyes and praying he’d see something, anything other than the dead look in his eyes. Ten minutes ago he saw nothing but pain behind his eyes and now, as he’d seen more often than not in the last several weeks, there was just numbness. Bucky stared straight ahead at Tony who lay prone in his bed, just five feet away from them.
Steve broke the silence first. “Buck, why were you on the roof?”
“Needed air.” He answered simply.
“You and I both know it was more than that.”
“Doesn’t matter, even if it was.”
“It matters to me.” Steve’s voice cracked a little as he fought back tears. “Bucky you matter to me.” He sighed. “I know I haven’t been the best at showing that lately and I’m sorry, but I’m trying to be here for you now so please just let me in.”
Bucky’s eyes suddenly widened. He could have imagined it, but he could've sworn he saw Tony move. His eyelids fluttered ever so slightly, Bucky thought. No. He shook his head to clear it. You’re losing it, Barnes. You need sleep. Hope will only lead to disappointment. He’d adopted that pessimistic sentiment during his time with Hydra.
“Bucky, what is it?”
“Sorry, it just… hurts,” he let his hand brush the bandage on his head. Steve leaned in and kissed his cheek. “And I’m sorry I scared you.”
“You’re really okay?”
Bucky shrugged. “Nothing the serum won’t fix in a couple of hours.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I’m okay, Steve. It won’t happen again, I just,” he sighed, “I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t shut my brain off and I panicked.”
“Oh, James.” Bucky let himself be pulled into a hug, his eyes still focused on Tony, who sure enough, was just lying there. He closed his eyes and let his head rest in the crook of Steve’s neck, allowing himself to relax into him. He felt the tension leave Steve’s body as they held each other. When Bucky eventually sat up and opened his eyes, he jumped back so far he would’ve fallen off the bed if it hadn’t been for the railing.
“Bucky, you’re okay.” Steve thought he might be having a flashback. “We’re at the Avengers Compound. You’re safe.” Bucky was staring past him still, but now his eyes were welling with tears.
“T-Tony?” Steve’s head whipped around. Tony’s eyes were open and he was looking around the room. Bucky fumbled for the call button next to him before he and Steve rushed to Tony’s side. Tony seemed lost looking around the room, but the moment their faces came into view, he smiled and it was the best damn thing either of them had seen in their entire lives.
“Hey, baby.” Steve beamed. Tony looked up at Steve with a lazy smile but when his eyes drifted to Bucky, he frowned.
“Bucky,” his voice was raw from lack of use, “What happened to that pretty face of yours?” Steve and Bucky both let out tearful laughs.
“Don’t worry about me, doll.” Bucky struggled to get the words out in his shock. “How’re you feeling?”
“Been better.”
Steve kissed his lips lightly. “You came back to us.”
His eyes were already growing heavy, even though he’d just woken up he was exhausted. Still, his humor was intact. “‘M not that easy to get rid of.” They’d never been more grateful for his stubborn streak than right now. Too stubborn even for death.
“Get some sleep. We’ll be here when you wake up.” Bucky pecked his cheek before resting his head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was steady. Strong. And for the first time since Tony had gotten sick, Bucky allowed himself to feel the slightest glimmer of hope.