Chapter 9
Eddie was actually cool.
“And then I told Camila that there was no way she could fit the entire bag of hot dogs in her mouth. It was insane.”
Eddie flips the hotdogs as he speaks and Billy laughs at his story.
“You know what happened?”
Billy raised his eyebrows.
“What?”
Eddie shrugs but keeps a smile on his face.
“She couldn’t. But she got a good five or six in before she had to give up.”
They both lightly laugh. Eddie had been doing most of the talking. He was being funny and happy. Completely unlike him. Or, atleast the Eddie he used to know.
When he’d found out about Camila and Eddies affair, he went ballistic. But he wasn’t as mad at Camila as he was at Eddie. He understood why Camila did what she did. An eye for an eye you could say. But Eddie of all people? He’d always tried to ignore the way he so obviously saw Eddie looking at her. He never really stressed too much about it though. Billy had why Eddie never would. Until Eddie had it too.
“Anyways, enough about my life. How’s yours?”
The way he said it. It sounded like he actually cared. It wasn’t venomous or rude like how Eddie usually talked to him. He talked like they were lifelong pals just casually catching up. It was very very unsettling.
“I’ve been good. Feeling fine.”
In reality, Billys life recently had been shit. His wife was dead and his daughter had made a documentary about it. She hadn’t finished with editing it yet but she’d informed Billy that the last person she interviewed before him had been Daisy. The mere thought of it made a chill run through him. But that was his other life. In this weird alternate universe that he still couldn’t figure out how he’d ended up there; he could only say that his life had been great. Since he knew nothing about it.
Eddie pauses his fiddling with the grill and really looks Billy in the eye. Directly. As if he was trying to see something.
“You know you can talk me to right? You haven’t scared me off.”
Scared him off? Had Billy done something to scare him?
“Scare you?”
Eddie nods and looks back at the slightly open sliding door that led into the kitchen. The faint voices of Daisy and Camilla setting the table and preparing everything came through the crack. They were far enough. Eddie turns back to him and sighs.
“I know that we all tiptoe around what happened but…I don’t think we should!”
“What exactly do you mean?”
Billy was close. He could practically hear Eddie telling him the truth about everything.
“With Jules documentary coming out, a lot of old stuff has come up. Old feelings. Things I’ve forgotten or tried to make myself forget. But after sitting on it for a while, I realized that it was stupid to try and forgot any of it. I’m old. We’re old. It’s only been twenty years but it’s been TWENTY years!”
Eddie scoffs and Billy almost feels as if he’d about to explode. His grip around the water bottle Camilla had gave him was getting tighter and tighter. Eddie just needed to spit it out already.
“But the one thing we all can’t forget is our final show. For many different reasons. I understand that it’s triggering to talk about stuff like that but it don’t think that means we should completely disregard it.”
Billy was about to punch him square in the jaw. He swallowed and placed his water bottle down on the table next to the grill. He settled for crossing his arms and thinking about it. He needed to be smart. Give Eddie just a good enough push for him to tell the truth but not alert any suspicion. Billy fights a smile as he deeply and dramatically sighs. It catches Eddie’s attention; as he knew it would.
“Yeah man. That night was so…wild. Everything that happened. But I…I couldn’t help but catch that you said we all can’t forget it for different reasons.”
Billy sighs again, not as dramatic but still effective enough to keep Eddie intrigued.
“What exactly are the reasons? From your personal experience.”
Eddie’s face drops just slightly. A bad sign. He flips another burger on the grill before turning back to Billy.
“Well…when I found you in the bathroom….”
Eddie’s cheerful demeanor is practically nonexistent. He can’t meet Billys eyes completely and Billy swears he sees tears daring to spill from his eyes.
“When I found you, it was like my world had shattered. We’d finally become closer. You were figuring out your shit with Daisy and I was happy with Camilla and there was finally no bad blood. You let us all have creative freedom on the tracks and it was amazing. Too amazing. I realized you had just been in a manic episode after Daisy delivered the news to all of us. After you were hospitalized.”
A tear finally does slip and Eddie is quick to wipe it away. Billy had really done a number on all of them, hadn’t he? Eddie quickly recovers and continues his story.
“The main thing I just can’t forget is seeing you there, in the bathtub. The water was overflowing but at that point is wasn’t water. It was pure red. That’s actually what I noticed first. The red water seeping out from under the door. I froze and then it clicked. So I started ramming the door open. My arm and side hurt for weeks after. But it eventually broke and I pushed the door open.”
The emotion is gone from Eddie’s voice now. He seems to have unawarely disconnected himself from the story. Maybe that was his way of telling it without crying. Or maybe he’d talking about it so much that it was practically old news.
“The water just got darker and darker and I just saw you there. Your eyes were closed and one of your arms had floated up to the surface of the water. All I saw was a huge bleeding gash from your wrist to your elbow. I immediately ran to you and tried to get you out the water but I’m not that strong of a guy. So I ran to find whoever else I could. Eventually I stumbled across Rod and the rest of the Six talking in a hush about you and Daisy. Daisy obviously wasn’t in the room and I’m kinda glad she wasn’t because from what Karen told me, I had your blood all over me. She said I just ran in and said your name. Everyone went running.”
Eddie sniffled alittle and lets out a somewhat strangled breathe. He finally makes eye contact with Billy.
“See what I mean? About talking about it?”
Billy nods but is barely paying attention. In reality, he was going over what Eddie and just told him. The truth everyone seemed to be hiding. They stepped on eggshells around him because he was Bipolar. Because he tried to kill himself god knows how many times. Because he’s the reason the band ended once again. For good this time.
Fuck.
“But either way, I’m here for you. I know that the girls were trying their best to be quiet about it so Annie doesn’t get scared again but I know you haven’t been taking your meds and were beginning to slip into an episode. I heard Camilla talking to Daisy on the phone this morning. Someone should really invent a tiny handheld computer to they can send messages instead of trying to badly whisper.”
Eddie laughs at his own joke and Billy laughs genuinely. He found his heart growing a new fondness for Eddie. Looking back on it, him and Eddie could’ve been friends. They were so similar but for some reason, Billy seemed to hit the certain spots that Eddie didn’t. Eddie had always ended up one step behind him and he didn’t care much for him to really worry about it anyways. But to hear that in another universe, it all worked out? That was a closure he didn’t know he even needed.
“I don’t really know what happened from there that night. Apparently Warren stayed with me in my room. Changed my clothes. Put me to bed. He said I was just extremely quiet. In shock. Grahams and Karen can probably tell you more when they come later.”
Hold on…what?!
“I’m sorry; did you just say Graham and Karen?”
Eddie does an excited smile and whispers to him in a gossiping tone.
“I know right? I mean we all know they reconnected after Jeannie passed last year but coming to family dinners all the time? Sleeping over regularly? Getting her a promise bracelet? They’re definitely together again. Even if they don’t want to admit it themselves.”
Eddie singsongs the last few words as he plates some of the cooked hotdogs and burgers. Jesus, Eddie really was a fountain of information. Eddie adds the rest of the frozen burgers and hotdogs before the closes the grill. He picks up the plate full of food and nods towards the sliding door. Billy follows him inside, his mind still reeling over their conversation.