Chapter 1
"Hobie, I... I can't do this anymore."
Hobie looks down at you with a confused face, moving you back from where you were leaning on his chest.
"Seriously? Wha... Why?" He questions, putting his hand under your chin and tilting it up to make eye contact with you. His face was painted with sadness and concern, and you couldn't help but feel guilty. You knew you couldn't stay with him. Time and time again, the pattern repeated. You'd meet someone, and you'd get attached and finally feel safe around them, and then just when you let your guard down they revealed that they'd never truly loved you and you had been hurting them the entire time. Even when you tried everything to break the cycle, it was inevitable.
"I don't want to hurt you. I know I wont realize that I am until it's too late, so I have to leave before that. I'm sorry." You finally whispered, tears filling your eyes. *'Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it, yet I have not a single scratch on me. I carry bits of everything I've loved under my fingernails.' It was a devastating quote, and one that unfortunately resonated strongly with you. You knew you were hurting everyone around you, so why couldn't you stop? Why were you forced to continue this every single time?
You knew you deserved all the pain it caused you. You'd always known. But even when you directed all your harm towards yourself, people determined to pretend to care about you made you feel guilty for daring to do such a thing. Nothing in your life could affect just you. And so the most you could do is damage control, pushing down all your feelings until you were alone and could ruin yourself trying to process them.
Eventually you knew it all had to end, even if by your own hand.