An Old Friend and Feeling Sick to the Stomach
My phone buzzes next to me. I pull it out and check who sent me a text message. It’s from David.
"Hey, meet me at our usual spot at 3. I have to show you something."
I frown and put my phone back into my pocket and sigh. At least I’ve managed to keep myself alive for the past six months. And it’s not that I didn’t have friends. I at very least had David. He didn’t abandon me or anything. Quite the opposite. Despite our rocky relationship, we both ended up staying together long. I wonder if it’s still awkward between us. Well, it certainly hasn’t gotten any better since I’m sure he remembers everything I’ve done to him. I wouldn't consider myself a good girlfriend so it's beyond me why he even stays by my side. But then again, I wouldn’t really call this an improvement either.
Anyway, I must say I really enjoyed it being with him. In fact I enjoy every second of our relationship. And I don’t think it's gonna change anytime soon. It’s probably going to stay that way as long as he lives here in my hometown. Then again, I may end up running away from home. I don't really think that's such a great idea considering my father's death. But I won't have to worry about that any time soon. I'm not going anywhere.
I pick up my phone from beside me once again and stare at the screen. Another text from David arrives.
"You coming?"
I sigh and reply:
"Yeah. See you there."
I leave out the door without telling anyone, and I take a tin of gummies just in case. I can’t help myself. They are the only thing that can calm me enough to get through the day without getting pissed off. And I need them today, especially now that I’m on edge. I know this is probably a bad habit, but I couldn’t help myself. If I wasn’t constantly worried about something, I might have actually taken my sweet time getting ready to leave my house. Unfortunately, no matter how many times I tell myself not to stress, this happens anyways. And so with another sigh and my hands deep in my pockets, I trudge down the familiar sidewalk towards the same alleyway that David and I have gone to so often.
It wasn’t long before I reached my destination. Sure enough, David was waiting for me there. He was standing at the corner of a wall and leaning against the brick wall with another girl next to him. His hands were stuffed in his pants pockets and he appeared to be talking nonstop. As I drew closer he suddenly started laughing, and I could hear what he was saying even from this distance.
"You're the worst," said the girl next to him with a laugh of her own.
"You should see yourself! You don't even realize it!" David laughed again.
The two laughed as I approached the pair. I stopped a few feet short of them.
"Hey, Lisa's here." David said, looking towards my way.
I notice the girl he's talking here looks a little familar.
She glances up at me and smiles. "Nice seeing you again, Lisa."
She holds her hand out towards me, but I don't move, nor do I react.
"Lisa…" David says slowly. "You remember Darcy, right."
And with that, all the memories come rushing to me. Darcy Hermandollar, my very first friend, the one I made all the way back in Kindergarten. How much she’s changed. She was always there when I needed someone to talk to, or to vent. We shared everything. Our troubles, our joys, our sorrows, we were always there for one another. She was always the one to comfort me whenever I got angry or scared, the only person I could trust to truly listen to me and believe I was strong enough for what I wanted, without question. She was a sweet kid too. The only person who was willing to be friends with me back then.
"When did she move back?" I ask David, my eyes wide.
I mean, of course I remember her, but I never thought…
"About two weeks ago. I met her a couple days ago." David answered quickly, taking care to avoid mentioning any details.
"What were you guys doing together?" I asked hesitantly.
David looks towards the girl and gives her a small smile. The girl seems to be enjoying their conversation and doesn’t seem like the type to be jealous of anyone else. Besides, she seemed nice enough. I wouldn’t blame her for thinking that about someone. David and I aren’t that close, so if anything, it shouldn’t surprise me.
"Just catching up." David replied, shrugging. "Nothing really important."
I nod and look back at the two of them, feeling somewhat relieved. There’s no doubt that she’s a good person. I wonder where she was when the two of us fell apart. It’s no secret that I’ve struggled recently with depression. I guess nobody could miss that. I watch Darcy for a moment and turn back to David.
He was staring ahead, seemingly unaware of my gaze. I looked away and followed his gaze to stare blankly ahead too. This was probably the most uncomfortable I’ve felt in a long while. I don’t know why, but this feels wrong somehow. I try to shake the feeling, but it isn’t until a moment later that I hear a car horn behind me. My attention snaps back to the present. David’s watching me expectantly.
"Sorry, I kinda zoned out there." I rub my eyes tiredly.
I glance over to David who gives me a sympathetic look before turning back towards the girl he had been speaking to. I take this opportunity to catch my breath. It’s hard sometimes, dealing with my problems. But I know that one of these days, I’ll find a solution. Maybe not for me, but for others. For all those who have suffered because of my actions.
"It's been a long time, Lisa." Darcy finally speaks to me. "Are you alright?"
"Oh yeah," I nod and force a smile. "How've you been?"
"Good. Better." She laughs. "Well, I mean, nothing ever really changes around here."
"Yeah, that’s usually true…" I say, trying to sound happy instead of completely disinterested.
Her face falls slightly and she gives me an odd look. I don't understand. Why does she want to talk to me? I know she can get a feeling about the current state I'm in just by looking at me. And now I feel incredibly guilty. I know this shouldn't affect me at all but somehow it does. I can't help but feel like I've lost a lot of my innocence recently. A part of me wonders if I have already lost that which used to make me feel so safe.
"So…" I start to speak. "What were you guys talking about?"
Darcy smiles lightly. "Not really anything special. Just catching up some more."
She turns towards David and asks him something quietly and he answers with a grin. I raise my eyebrows and let out a small smile. That sounded oddly normal, almost like a conversation. I wish we could talk like that. Not like this, though. This is hardly normal. Not that I have anything to compare to.
"Well," I began. "I guess I should get going."
"Why? You just got here." Said David.
"Yeah I just..." I hesitate, not wanting to go back yet. "There's something I have to do first."
"We could come with you." Darcy offered immediately after that sentence left her mouth. She turned to me and flashed me another smile. "Come on Lisa. You haven’t seen me in years."
I couldn't help but smile back at her. Of course, she'd jump at the chance to spend more time with me. And since she didn't seem to mind, maybe I could give her some more time too? After all it has been a long while since the last time we hung out together. I know there must be more to it than that, but the way she smiled makes me forget about it for a second.
"Alright," I say. "Sure."
"Great!"
Darcy grabs my arm excitedly and pulls me along.