Chapter 2
Loki ignored the snarls from the Aesir who recognized her in her female form, the moment she left mother’s chambers she wat met with hostility as always, though it was twice worse since she was in this form, she will never understand why the Asgardians were so close minded about her preference to shapeshift into a form that she feels more comfortable at that day whenever she wants.
Contrastingly, during her visits to Alfheim, the elves admired her ability to shift forms. Some of them aspired to change from male to female or vice versa, viewing it as a gift rather than something unnatural.
The Warriors Three and Sif eyed her with visible disgust, while Thor, as always, appeared perpetually confused. He never vocalized his thoughts on her shape-shifting, neither expressing revulsion nor coming to her defense when his friends taunted her about it. Thor addressed her as "sister" when she was in this form, but his ambiguous stance left her feeling unsupported.
As much as she wanted to get close to her adopted brother again, she grew tired of attempting to get his attention back. She decided to not go after him anymore, if he wanted her company he could go to her whenever he wanted.
Loki moved past the group without sparing them a second glance. She could still hear Fandral's whisper, "ergir freak," causing the others to erupt in laughter. She pushed aside the hurt she felt at not hearing a single word from Thor in her defense.
She made her way towards her room which was the only place unguarded in the palace, as if she was the only one who didn’t matter enough to have guard in front of her chamber.
Upon entering her room, she closed the door and cast a privacy spell on it before collapsing onto her bed, gazing thoughtfully at the ceiling.
Loki contemplated the impending meeting with her biological parent and siblings, only days away. Would they genuinely welcome her to Jotunheim? Anxiety gnawed at her, fear whispering that they might find her undeserving and treat her as unkindly as the Asgardians.
No, she couldn't let negativity consume her. Her mother had assured her of at least her true father's love, and that was ample reason for hope.
For the present, she resolved to visit Alfheim and disclose the news of their heritage to her children.
Byleistr found himself at a loss, grappling with the enormity of the revelation. His mother had admitted to abandoning his little brother, and she displayed no remorse, asserting that she had done them a favor by ridding them of the "useless runt." He never expected his mother to reveal herself as such a heartless monster.
"If you bring him here, I will kill him! He has no place among us!" Farbauti had screamed at her husband's face in a fit of anger. "I want nothing to do with that freak!"
Byleistr felt a sickness in his stomach as he listened to her spew such words. She had always been kind to him and Helblindi throughout their lives, so why couldn't she extend the same kindness to Loki?
Helblindi, standing beside his brother, listened with mounting uneasiness as their parents engaged in a heated argument. It had been going on for a while now, and he, too, was deeply disappointed in his mother. How could she have abandoned Loki to such a fate? And how could she lie to them, saying he was stillborn all these years…
"Enough! Farbauti, you shall swear an oath and leave the palace," Laufey commanded, his voice tinged with anger.
"You're choosing that useless runt over me!?" Farbauti retorted in disbelief.
"Yes," he declared firmly.
Shocked by his decision, she turned to her sons, seeking support. Helblindi, unable to meet her gaze, lowered his head, while Byleistr's eyes were filled with anger and disgust directed at her. Her sons' reactions caused her to flinch.
"I wasted my life raising you, wasted my time molding you into worthy heirs for the throne! And you can't even be of use to defend me!?" Farbauti lashed out at the two Jotun, her façade crumbling.
"Wasted?" Helblindi whispered, his heart broken. "Did you ever truly care for us?"
With Farbauti offering no response, the younger Jotun swiftly turned and left the room.
Byleistr shot an intense glare at Farbauti. "I see you've always been a monster after all." He then followed his little brother out of the room.
He found Helblindi in the garden, sitting on the ground and gazing down at the small pond with a mix of sadness in his eyes. Byleistr settled at his side, and they shared a heavy silence.
"I can't believe this is happening... I thought she loved us," his brother whispered almost inaudibly.
"We were too blind to realize her true intentions," Byleistr responded quietly. "Father will likely force her to swear an oath not to come near or harm Loki and then banish her to some remote village..."
"You won't blame her for this, will you?" Helblindi asked his brother. "Loki, I mean."
Byleistr furrowed his brow. "...I won't, but I don't know if I can just welcome her as my brodhir... or systir"
"It's not her fault that our modir abandoned her, brodhir."
"I know, but she was raised as an Aesir. Her perspective on us might be tainted. What if she sees us as monsters, just like the Asgardians do? What if this is all part of a plan to make us lower our guard? She could have known about her heritage all this time, and Odin is using her as a spy."
"You're being paranoid," Helblindi pointed out.
"Perhaps, but the point is, I don't trust her."
"Yet," his brother finished with a knowing look.
Byleistr let out a sigh. "...Yet."
“Give her a chance, she seems to have suffered at the hands of the Aesir. Who knows what she's been through there? She doesn't need more hostility directed at her. I know that if I were in her place, I'd feel terrible if my real family, whom I just got to know about, didn't like me," Helblindi reasoned with a touch of empathy in his voice.
"Ugh, fine! I'll be civil, but that doesn't mean I'll shower her with compliments and false trust," Byleistr grumbled, casting an annoyed look at his sibling.
Helblindi just returns his look with a smug smile. “Thanks brodhir”
He huffed. “Whatever”
A few days after their initial visit, Frigga dispatched a raven to Jotunheim to announce their
incoming visit towards their realm, Odin, ever preoccupied with his kingly duties, remained oblivious to their absence, while Thor and his companions were out on a hunting expedition.
Loki had thought ahead and acquired some suitable winter garments for her mother. The clothing was a perfect fit, and as Frigga donned her heavy fur coat, Loki teleported them to the gates of the Jotunheim palace. Dropping her glamor, her skin turning blue and again and she felt free again.
Laufey and his sons were waiting, again the younger Jotuns startled when they noticed their presence, Loki tried to stifle her amusement but failed as Byleistr glared at her, and Helblindi appeared somewhat embarrassed.
Laufey regarded Loki with affection. "My daughter, it's good to see you again."
Loki approached him awkwardly, bowing slightly. "Uh, good to see you again, King Laufey."
He chuckled at her nervousness. "Don't worry, little one. You can take your time with calling me fadir. For now, just call me Laufey. There's no need to use my title when addressing me, child."
She relaxed, first name she could do.
“Of course, thanks k-Laufey”
“It’s no trouble, child” he turns to Frigga. “Your mother and I will talk about how to deal with your diet and health in Asgard for a moment, stay with your siblings for now, alright?”
"Of course," she replied, her voice tinged with shyness.
As they entered the palace, some of the Jotun inhabitants cast suspicious glances in Frigga's direction, but Loki's presence seemed to stir a mix of curiosity and excitement, as word about her had already spread among the Jotun.
Helblindi reached for her hand, gently squeezing it as a comforting gesture. He sensed her growing anxiety under the scrutiny of so many unfamiliar eyes, and his support meant the world to her. But it was impossible for Loki to ignore the tinge of sadness that crept in as she reflected on the fact that her estranged brother was now providing more support and affection than Thor had in the last hundred years.
Frigga and Laufey departed for a private conversation, leaving the three of them in an awkward silence.
"Alright, I suppose we could show you around the palace," Helblindi suggested, a glint of excitement in his eyes. "What do you think, systir? Would you like to explore?"
"I would love to," she replied quietly, eliciting a beaming smile from Helblindi and an eye roll from Byleistr.
"Let's start with the garden! You're going to love it!" The young Jotun carefully took her by the hand, though he had to slouch a bit to accommodate her smaller size. Byleistr followed, silently watching over them and casting wary glances to keep other Jotun from overwhelming Loki with questions.
The garden exceeded Loki's expectations. Despite the cold climate, it was teeming with beautiful and flourishing plants. A partially frozen lake caught her attention, and Helblindi excitedly explained that a mage's spell kept it from freezing entirely. Loki listened with fascination as he described the rare flora that had persisted even after Odin's removal of the Casket.
Next, they led her to an area where male and female Jotun were engaged in sword training. All activity halted as they noticed the diminutive newcomer, and they respectfully bowed to her. It was a gesture she wasn't accustomed to, having held the title of princess in Asgard but receiving no such honor, nobody ever bows to her, only to Thor.
Feeling slightly awkward, she allowed Helblindi to guide her to another section, where their mages practiced their seidr. She watched with rapt attention as the young Jotun wielded their magical abilities.
The two Jotun continued to show her around, with Helblindi enthusiastically explaining everything, and Byleistr maintaining a quiet vigil from their side.
"I think I've shown you everything inside the palace," the young Jotun said thoughtfully, a broad smile lighting up his face when an idea struck him. "Ah! I could show you Byleistr's sculptures!"
Byleistr turned to glare at his brother. "I'm sure she won't be interested in that," he replied curtly.
"Ice sculptures? Can I see them?" Loki's eyes sparkled with excitement, surprising the older Jotun. "If that's alright with you, of course."
Helblindi cast his infamous 'puppy eyes' at his brother, and with Loki's excited expression, Byleistr begrudgingly relented with a tired sigh.
"Fine, but they're not that interesting, though," he admitted as he led them to the room where he created his sculptures.
Upon opening the door, Loki's eyes gleamed with astonishment as she beheld the gigantic ice statues. She couldn't help but let out a small gasp of surprise. She approached one sculpture that resembled a wolf, her eyes filled with fascination.
"These look magnificent," she whispered as she carefully examined another sculpture, wary of getting too close and potentially causing any damage.
"You can touch them if you want; they won't break that easily," Byleistr mumbled, a bit shy about how much the stranger seemed to appreciate his creations.
Loki beamed upon receiving permission and began to explore each sculpture, tracing her fingers over the intricate details.
"How do you make them?" she inquired after spending half an hour admiring his works.
"Jotun can manipulate ice," Byleistr explained with a shrug. "I either focus on shaping them like this, but sometimes I do it the old-fashioned way just to relax."
Loki found the concept of manipulating ice fascinating.
Observing the amicable exchange, Helblindi turned to Loki and asked, "Sister, I think our father will take a little longer than expected talking to your... mother. Is there anything you'd like to ask us? We may not be teachers, but we can certainly tell you some things about our culture and people."
Loki seems thoughtful at that, she has something in her mind that has been bothering her for years and wonder if it’s related to her heritage. “I have a question ... .do Jotun children usually are born shapeshifted into an animal?” She asked cautiously, worried about potentially coming across as offensive.
Byleistr regarded her with curiosity. "Only if one of the parents is a powerful witch or mage," he explained. "Sometimes, the seidr may be too overwhelming for them, so they naturally transform into a different form that can better accommodate the magic. This typically happens when one of the parents is exceptionally powerful or has been restraining their seidr for an extended period, so when the child is born, they're overwhelmed by the parent's magic."
Loki nodded thoughtfully, her brow furrowing with concern. "Doesn't it harm them in any way?"
“Not really, as I said, they shapeshift to a better form until they get used to the amount of seidr they have…” Byleistr squints his eyes at her. “Frigga could not have known about this to teach you, how do you know about this?”
Loki almost rolled her eyes at the suspicion in her older brother's gaze. "I know this because I have children of my own," she admitted. "But I never understood why they were born in animal forms."
Helblindi's eyes widened in astonishment. "You have children?!"
Byleistr was better at masking his shock, though Loki was good at seeing the slight shift on his expression.
Loki chuckled at the look on her middle brother’s face. “Yes, six to be exact”
"By the Norns! I'm an uncle six times over?!" The younger Jotun exclaimed with unbridled excitement. "Tell me about them!"
“Well, I met Angrboda in Alfheim, I suspected her to be a Jotun in hiding, she birthed three of my children: Jörmungandr, Fenrir, Hela, Jör was born a serpent, he is very shy, likes to read about any book I bring to him, Ferirs was born as a wolf, he is full of energy, sometimes I can’t stop him from running around in his wolf form, Hela was born half dead, I do not understand why that happened-.”
Byleistr looked sick at that, he seemed to want to say something about it but kept quiet.
Loki continued, "-nevertheless, she is a sweet girl and has taken a liking to planting flowers in the small house where they reside."
"Sleipnir, I birthed him myself," Loki said, moving on to the next child. "He is the son of an elf I met in Alfheim. He was born as an eight-legged foal and has a penchant for collecting rocks, though he doesn't talk much."
"Then there are the twins, Nari and Váli," Loki concluded, "born to an Aesir mother. They always play pranks on their other siblings and are the youngest. They were born smaller than the rest, they were born as two wolf pups."
“It seems you either have been bedding powerful witches and mages or you yourself carry enough seidr that all of your children minus Hela were born shapeshifted” Said Byleistr slightly impressed.
“Your lovers are taking care of them?” Helblindi, curious, inquired further.
Loki looks away awkwardly. “Sigyn was…outraged that her children were born wolves, she has promised to not tell Odin about them but asked to not be involved with raising them in exchange”
The anger was palpable in Helblindi and Byleistr, who couldn't fathom how anyone could abandon their own children just because they were born differently, they were still her children!
“And the others?” Byleistr asked bitterly and bit protective.
“The father of Sleipnir, wasn’t really weirded out, but was not ready to be a father, I don’t hold it against him, and Angrboda grew disappointed at each child she birthed, probably because they were also runts like me, she left one day and never came back”
Their expressions revealed the anger and disapproval they felt, particularly toward Angrboda. If she ever returned to Jotunheim, she would face the consequences of her actions.
"So, you've been raising them all by yourself?" Helblindi asked, clearly concerned. "And who takes care of them when you're not around?"
"Mother's brother, Freyr," Loki replied. "He stays with them in Alfheim when I'm away."
Byleistr couldn't help but twitch his nose in slight irritation that Loki still referred to the witch as ‘mother’ but knows better than saying anything to upset him.
“Do you trust him?” Helblindi asked hesitantly.
“Considering that he is the one who helped me sneak Nari and Váli from Asgard without Odin noticing and offered a place for them to stay hidden? Yes, I do, he was actually very happy to be a great-uncle” Loki answered with a soft smile.
“Good, I bet they are a delight,” The young Jotun commented. “Will... will you bring them here one day?” He asked hopefully.
Loki gave him an understanding smile. “I've already told them about their heritage, and they are curious to learn more about Jotunheim. However, I'd like to understand our people and our gifts better before bringing them here, helping them shift into their Jotun form first."
Helblindi beamed at her excitedly. “Oh, fadir will be happy to know he has grandchildren! Right, brodhir?”
“Considering he keeps asking when any of us will have children, I think he will faint when he hears he finally got his wish,” Byleistr replied with a lighthearted joke.
Helblindi and Loki chuckled at the thought. The young Jotun then turned to her, asking, “Now, do you want to learn anything else, systir?”
She gave him a thankful smile. “Well, you said we can manipulate ice?”
"Indeed, that's one of our innate abilities," Helblindi confirmed. "We can shape ice and control it to a certain extent. It's a skill we learn from a young age, but it takes practice and patience to become proficient."
Loki's eyes sparkled with curiosity. "Can you show me some basic techniques? I'd love to learn."
Helblindi nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! Let's start with something simple." He crouched down and extended his hand, focusing his seidr on the ground. As he did, a thin layer of ice began to form on the surface.
Byleistr watched with mild interest, though he kept his distance, unsure of Loki's intentions.
"See, it's all about control and concentration," Helblindi explained. "You can shape it, make it thicker or thinner, and even create more complex structures as you become more skilled. Just remember not to let it consume you. Too much seidr can be overwhelming."
Loki nodded and carefully extended her hand, mirroring her brother's gesture. As she concentrated, a small patch of ice started to form beneath her fingertips.
Helblindi smiled, pleased with her progress. "You're a quick learner, systir. With practice, you'll master it in no time." He says with a bright smile.
Loki felt a sense of belonging and acceptance she had never experienced in Asgard, she smiled in return, feeling warm inside despite the extreme cold.