Chapter 1
Fall break. One of the very few things keeping college kids like himself sane. It was a brisk October morning and the cold fall air had never felt better on his skin, or suit. After living in exam halls, classrooms, and libraries for the past 4 months, only able to patrol at night, the freedom of patrolling bright and early was heaven, despite the unwanted company.
“You guys are early today, have pilates after work or something?” He flipped away from the first tranquilizer arrow of the day. “Getting a little slow Katniss, old age doesn’t suit you!” A scoff sounded in the distance. He’ll take that as a win. The Avengers try to come off as all business saying “We have to bring you in,” “You’re a danger to yourself and others,” or “ We’ll do what we have to,” blah blah blah. Peter’s heard it all before, but have they caught him yet? Obviously not, or he wouldn’t be leading them on this merry chase.
“Listen, kid,” Stark started. “We all have better things to do than chase you around all day”.
Peter landed, hands on his hips. “Well then, by all means, don’t let me stop you from doing all those ‘Important’ things. Despite how often we all seem to be hanging out, I don’t particularly enjoy your company. Looks bad for business, yours and mine.”
Mr. America, in all his righteous glory, tried to stop the argument before it started. “No one here is trying to make you look ba-”
“The only thing us ‘hanging out’ is doing is making you look guilty. What innocent person fights the Avengers?” Iron man cuts in.
It was Peter’s turn to scoff now. “What kind of Avenger can’t catch one vigilante?”
Black Widow, fellow arachnid-themed hero, cut off the conversation. “This is completely irrelevant. Can we please get on with the mission?” She lunged at Peter, widow bites crackling menacingly, aiming for his neck. With a whoop, Spiderman jumped away from the attack, shooting a web to a nearby building and yanking hard.
“Traitor,” he tossed over his shoulder at Widow as he zipped away. Spiders are supposed to stick together.
The distinct sounds of thrusters, mechanical wings, and several pairs of feet quickly began to follow him. At this point, losing the Avengers was routine. He could do it in his sleep, not that he got much of it these days. Every time he closed his eyes he could only see his failures. The vision of Ben dying on the street haunted him to this day but ever since he let Gwen die he could think of nothing else. Wouldn’t let himself think of anything else. He had to be better, faster, and stronger. It was the only way he would be able to do his job, protect the people of New York. He couldn’t be too slow again.
Once Peter’s spider-sense stopped yelling at him he knew he was in the clear. The Avengers had never pursued him more than once a day, if even that. Spiderman really did have “more important things to get to” in the words of the Famous Tony Stark. Maybe he had a point, sometimes. Peter didn’t understand why the Avengers of all people would be trying to catch him. The hero game was hard enough without having to fight people who were supposed to be on your side. Sure his identity was a secret and his hero-ing was technically vigilantism, but he never did anything wrong. He didn’t kill or even excessively hurt people, which is more than the Avengers could say for themselves. He just looked out for the little guy, people who had no one else watching their back. He knew what that was like.
The day went on like normal, less crime to be stopped of course because he was out in the daytime but as the sun sank lower in the sky an unsettling sensation took hold of him. It wasn't the familiar jolt of panic triggered by his spider sense, but rather an overwhelming sense of foreboding. He tried to shake it off, thinking it was just the cold and stress of the Avengers' never ending pursuit. Yet, as he gracefully swung around the city in search of his purpose the feeling of dread intensified ten fold, he had to follow it. With anxiety now settling in, all of his senses were on high alert, causing him to hear a faint scream.
As Spiderman swung toward the source of the scream, the streets became more familiar. His breathing was strained and panicked, a dense pressure building up in his chest as he forced his muscles to move faster. His arms burned and screamed along with the frantic heartbeat at the source of his destination just around the corner-
Time stopped. Spiderman stopped. Peter stopped.
May’s apartment building. Blinding panic raced through him, he quickly shot two webs on either side of his old bedroom window, launching himself feet first through the glass. His momentum caused him to crash into the wall on the opposite side of the room, quickly fighting his way out of the shattered wood, he rushed towards the door.
No.
No time, there’s no time! Peter burst through his old bedroom door, ignoring the splintered wood’s attack on his shoulder. Where?! Straight ahead, like she’d been on her way to check on him after a bad dream, was May, lying still on the floor. No sound of panicked breathing or a frantic heartbeat comforted him as he fell to her side. Only silence.
Blood seeped into his suit, there was so much blood. He dragged her limp body to his chest, holding her tight as everything he’s ever known crumbled away. “May? May? Aunt May, please. Please answer me. Please.” Her hand slipped out of his grasp, thudding to the floor with devastating finality.
The pressure that had been building in his chest since the first moment he saw the familiar streets tore out of him in aching sobs.“No, you’re okay. You’re okay. We’ll be fine. Please be fine.”
No amount of pleading could bring her limp body back to life.
His Fault.
This was all his fault.