Losing & Selfishness.
Lose.
They are going to lose. Not just the fight, but the people they love. They're going to lose it all.
Mazzy can't stop thinking about it. Not for the life of her. And it's making her whole feel all fuzzy and wrong. Her dad and the others worked out a plan, and she's pretty sure she's following it correctly, but it all feels off. Like she's playing a second-person video game. Like her consciousness isn't fully in her body.
The number of people they will lose if Thanos gets what he wants is almost unimaginable. Mazzy doesn't know how it will happen, how long it will take, or how he will decide who lives and who dies, but she's terrified either way. If it's excruciating and long, or if it's quick and painless, countless people will be dead and gone. If she dies, or if it's everyone around her who dies, nothing will ever be the same. Maybe she'll lose her dad. Maybe she'll lose Pepper, or Peter, or Rhodey, or everyone.
Maybe if it were a surprise, Mazzy thinks, she wouldn't feel like this. If she had gone into this expecting to win and then lost as if it was the most impossible thing in the world, maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But she knows they are going to lose. And now she has to live through the dread.
And the knowledge that Strange gets to know the one way they win, and no one else does, is an agonizing thought. He won't tell her or anyone else exactly how they win. Because, if he does, he says it won't happen. They'll mess it up, and it will be even worse knowing they could have won if they had just done one single thing differently. So they have to do their best. Mazzy can't do her best with the knowledge that they are almost certainly going to lose. She can't even breathe right. Forget saving the universe.
More than anything, though, Mazzy just wishes she were standing beside her dad. She should be grateful she even gets to be on the same planet as him, she supposes, but she wishes he could be there next to her to pick her up. Maybe if he were there, she would be able to focus. But Tony can fly, and he's gone off to hide somewhere else. Mazzy stuck next to the idiotic, blaster-wielding guy named Quill.
Mazzy stares at her dirty sneakers. She tries to feel the push of her feet against the soles of her shoes. But it's only tingly.
"Oh, yeah. You're much more of a Thanos."
The sound of Strange's voice rings out into the thick, dusty air, and it's quiet, but Mazzy can hear it astonishingly clearly. All too clearly. It makes her heart sink into her stomach. He's here. The monster who wants to take everything away is out there, maybe only twenty feet away from her. Her face burns with rage and hatred, and she presses her palms against the soft skin of her cheeks. The buzzing feeling is getting worse. It feels like getting caught in a lie. Mazzy's stomach twists.
"I take it the Maw is dead," a deep, brooding voice says in response to Strange's comment.
It has to be Thanos. He doesn't sound so much like a monster, but in Mazzy's experience, monsters don't usually sound like monsters. If they did, they would be caught and stopped too quickly. Real monsters are good at hiding their true selves. That's what makes them so dangerous.
Mazzy, who is still staring at her shoes, can only assume that Thanos is met with a nod, because the next thing he says is, "This day extracts a heavy toll." The words almost pull a scoff from Mazzy's throat. A heavy toll? A heavy toll is giving up your Christmas presents in favor of a trip to Disney World. Not the lives of trillions. The lives of trillions are everything. Thanos continues. "Still, he accomplished his mission."
His mission, Mazzy can infer, was retrieving the Time Stone. Mazzy doesn't know if it's the last stone yet, though. She doesn't know if this is the last fight or if there are more to come for Thanos. She doesn't know whether Thanos will snap his fingers the second they lose this fight or if this is just another step along the way.
"You may regret that. He brought you face-to-face with the Master of the Mystic-Arts," Strange says. Mazzy isn't sure if that means anything to anyone else but Strange himself, though.
Part of Mazzy wants to shut her hearing aids off, curl up into a little ball in the dirt, and let herself disappear into nothingness. Maybe if she sinks into the ground with her eyes shut and her ears deaf, she'll wake up in her bed, millions of miles away, back on Earth, and her dad will wake her up and tell her to get ready because they have to go to some boring conference or convention of some sort. And even though it's foolish, childish, and definitely not something an intelligent, seasoned thirteen-year-old like Mazzy would ever even think of trying, she tries it anyway. She squeezes her eyes shut so hard that her whole body tenses up. But when she opens them again, all she sees is Quill's face looking back at her.
He has an overly confident look on his face that Mazzy almost rolls her eyes at. How could he possibly think they have a chance in this? Mazzy doesn't think of herself as a pessimist, but when the facts are right in front of her, she can't ignore them. Their chances are 1 in 14,000,605. Those are impossible odds.
"And where do you think he brought you?" Thanos asks. He sounds calm. Calm as if he isn't about to take the lives of countless people.
"Let me guess," Strange replies. "Your home?"
"It was," Thanos says solemnly. He clenches his fist, which is covered in some kind of golden metal. A gauntlet, and in it, several of the Infinity Stones. The red one glows red, and as it does, a red fog envelopes the air. As it moves through the air, it transforms the barren, orange planet into a thriving, green one. "And it was beautiful. Titan was like most planets. Too many mouths, not enough to go around. And when we faced extinction, I offered a solution."
Strange's eyebrows rise in disbelief of where this story is going. "Genocide," he fills in the blank.
And Thanos doesn't even argue. Genocide, yes. "But random, dispassionate, fair to rich and poor alike. They called me a madman. And what I predicted came to pass."
"Congratulations. You're a prophet," Strange mocks.
"I'm a survivor," Thanos counters.
"Who wants to murder trillions."
"With all six stones, I could simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist. And I call that... mercy." Thanos' words are so twisted that they make Mazzy nauseous. She almost gags, trying to push through the anxiety. Mercy? Mercy isn't like this. This is cruel. This is heartless.
Strange stands, taking a few steps closer to the monster in front of him. "And then what?" he questions.
Thanos sort of shrugs. He's humanlike, in a way, and Mazzy hates that. She wishes he were a thousand times uglier so that his insides would properly match his outside. "I'd finally rest," he says, standing up tall and proud like this is the universe's destiny—like this is its greatest achievement, and like they should be looking up at him like he's a hero, "and watch the sun rise on a grateful universe. The hardest choices require the strongest wills."
"I think you'll find our will equal to yours."
"Our?"
That's their cue. They're supposed to attack now, and Mazzy is sure that everyone else is probably doing their jobs, but she isn't. She can't. She can't get her muscles to move. She's always tried to be brave. She's been confident and strong, proud and smart, and all of the things a Stark should be. All the things a hero should be and all the things an Avenger should be. But this is different. It's not Thanos that scares her. She's not scared of him punching her until she can't even keep her eyes open anymore. She's just so afraid of losing that she's too scared to start.
Mazzy hears the smash as her dad slams a large piece of wreckage on top of him, feels the force of it hitting the ground, and shields herself as the dust comes blowing her way. But she doesn't move. She just stays there, curled up with her head between her knees, too afraid to start.
"Piece of cake, Quill," Tony chimes in her earpiece.
"Yeah, if your goal was to piss him off," Quill replies exasperatedly.
There's yelling, screaming, and other sounds of mass destruction. Thanos' voice grunts in anger as he fights against the Avengers, minus Mazzy. They're all braver than her. Better heroes than her, too, and not even her constant craving to be the best can get her up on her feet. They'll lose. They'll lose, they'll lose, they'll lose, they'll lose. The words keep repeating themselves in Mazzy's mind, weighing her down like a bag of bricks.
Soon, she hears Peter's voice, too. He's still a kid, just like she is, but he's fighting, anyway. Because he's brave like that. He doesn't even sound that scared, either. "Magic! More magic! Magic with a kick! Magic with a-" He suddenly cuts himself off with a groan, and Thanos grumbles something that Mazzy can't quite make out from where she's hidden. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see Peter go flying, thrown off to the side by Thanos.
Mazzy's heart beats fast. She can't bring herself to fight, but she has to do something. She presses one hand flat against her chest, pressing against her sternum as if it will make the shooting pain of anxiety go away, and pushes herself off of the ground. She doesn't look at Thanos. She doesn't want to see his face, or else she'll drop back down to the ground. She's sure of it. She doesn't want to be a wimp, but she is. She can't face him. But Peter? Mazzy could talk to Peter forever and ever. So she runs as fast as she possibly can toward where she saw Peter land.
And there he is, lying in the rubble, panting and trying to catch his breath. He must have gotten the wind knocked out of him. "Mazzy! Where did you go?" he questions, his voice all high-pitched and nervous like it usually is in the middle of big fights. He doesn't sound accusatory or annoyed or anything like that. His voice is filled with nothing more than genuine concern.
"I couldn't- I don't know. It doesn't matter," Mazzy tells him, almost unable to get any words out at all. She kneels beside him as he sits himself back up. "Are you okay? That asshole is strong! Like, stronger than us strong. This is really, really bad, Peter. Like, Order 66 bad. We're gonna lose. For sure, for sure. And people are- everyone's gonna be gone. Everyone's gonna die. Half of us, anyway, but that might as well be everyone."
Peter stands up and stretches his back, trying to rub the pain away. "Come on," he says. He hasn't fully processed any of the words Mazzy said. The stakes are far too high to focus on anything but stopping Thanos. "We have to get back. We have to keep fighting. Let's go!"
Mazzy flinches at the sound of explosions from behind them, but she doesn't bother to look. Peter pats her shoulder, assuming she's about to follow in his footsteps, but she stops him. "I can't! I can't do it," she huffs out.
"What?" Peter asks, confused. Mazzy isn't ever one to willingly stay out of a fight. Ever since he's known her, she's been desperate to join the fight. She's always wanted to save people.
"I can't do it! If we lose, that's everything. And- and it's gonna be my fault." Mazzy's voice is breathy and weak, and tears are prickling her eyes. She won't let them fall. She doesn't want to seem any weaker than she already probably does. "The whole universe. Everything."
Furrowing his eyebrows, Peter looks at Thanos and then back at Mazzy. "That's why we have to. Whether we win or lose, at least we know we tried," he tells her. And he doesn't say anything else before running off to join the fight all over again. He could fall down a thousand times and just keep picking himself back up again.
God, but Mazzy can't even join the fight to be pushed down in the first place. She runs her fingers through her thick curls, her palms putting calming pressure against her aching skull. She has to do this. If she doesn't do this and they lose, that will be her fault for not fighting with them. And if she joins the fight and they still lose, at least she will have the knowledge that she tried. Mazzy is going to try.
Just as Thanos is tossing the blue woman to the side, Mazzy turns her brain off and runs right at him. She shoots a repulsor ray at his eyes and jumps onto him like a wild animal. The gauntlet is what they need. Without the gauntlet, all Thanos has is his brute strength. So Mazzy pries her fingers between the metal and his purple flesh. She uses all the strength in her body trying to pull that thing off of him, but just as she gets it to move an inch, Thanos picks her up like she's nothing but a mosquito on his skin and flicks her to the side.
It's all still worth it, though, because with Mazzy as a distraction, Strange is able to get a grip on the gauntlet and keep Thanos from closing his fist. Drax runs up behind him and kicks his knees in, forcing him to the ground. Quill shoots a gadget at the ground beside Thanos, and electricity crackles out from it, grabbing hold of Thanos' other hand. Peter shoots webs at his chest and pulls him back while Tony lands beside the gauntlet. He starts to pull, but Thanos fights back. Mazzy joins her dad in trying to pull the gauntlet off, but it isn't working.
Strange opens a portal above Thanos' head, and Mantis falls through it, landing on the alien's shoulders. She presses her palms against Thanos' head as everyone else works hard to keep hold of his extremities. He screams in pain, and Mantis does, too, until his eyes glaze over.
"Is he under? Don't let up," Tony says breathlessly.
"Be quick! He is very strong," Mantis cries. Mazzy isn't quite sure what she's doing or how it works, but it looks painful. Exhausting.
"Parker, help! Get over here. She can't hold him much longer. Let's go," Tony calls out. Peter abandons the web he had attached to Thanos' chest and instead joins the Starks on the other side, pulling the gauntlet as hard as he possibly can.
Together, they pull and they pull. The gauntlet begins to slip ever so slightly. They only need a little bit longer. Mantis just has to keep him under.
Quill lands a few feet away with a look on his face that is almost scary, even to Mazzy. His eyes are furious, and his steps are confident. And he's smiling, sort of, but not in a real way. "I thought you'd be hard to catch," he says to Thanos, although Mazzy isn't even sure if he's listening. Quill turns to Tony and points a finger at him. "For the record, this was my plan," he quips before turning back to the purple monster. "Not so strong now, huh?"
Mazzy keeps her focus on the gauntlet, but out of the corner of her eye, she can see Quill approaching Thanos. He gets closer and closer, and with every step he takes, it seems his eyes grow darker.
He gets right up in Thanos' face, dangerously close. "Where is Gamora?" Quill asks.
Thanos' jaw tremors. He's listening. He's here, but whatever trance Mantis has him under keeps him from moving too much. It's slipping, though, because he's able to move his mouth. "My Gamora," he sputters.
"Oh, bullshit!" Quill hisses. He's lost that goofy attitude he seemed to have before. Now, his voice is hoarse and harsh. Full of nothing but pain and fury. "Where is she?" he asks again.
Mazzy keeps pulling, but she lets her eyes flicker up to look at Thanos' face. His jaw is shut tight, his features winced like he's in pain. "He is in anguish!" Mantis wails as Thanos groans.
"Good," Quill spits.
"He..." Mantis begins to cry. Shiny, wet tears simmer at the edges of her wide, dark eyes. "He mourns."
Pulling, pulling, pulling, and the gauntlet slips only centimeters at a time.
Drax keeps a tight hold of Thanos' legs, straining himself. "What does this monster have to mourn?" he shouts.
And the question is answered fairly quickly. Nebula steps closer, her face nearly emotionless, but anguish slips through the cracks. "Gamora," she answers, her voice a harsh whisper. Everything is silent as Quill turns to face her. Mazzy's heart pounds. They just need to get this gauntlet off, and then things will be okay. Just the gauntlet. Just a few more seconds. "He took her to vormir," Nebula goes on. "He came back with the soul stone. But she didn't."
Quill's eyes glaze over.
Mazzy looks from him, to Thanos, and then to her dad. "Dad," she says in a shaky voice.
Tony nods, letting out a stressed huff. "Okay, Quill, you gotta cool it right now. You understand?" he says very quickly. The tension only grows thicker as flames roar inside Quill's chest. Mazzy keeps pulling, pulling, pulling, but she's not sure if there's any point anymore. It's all gonna go to shit. She can feel it. It's pulsing in her veins. Something is about to go wrong, and the anticipation is killing her. "Don't. Don't. Don't engage. We almost got this off!" Tony shouts, panicked.
It's like Quill can't even hear him. "Tell me she's lying," he says to Thanos. But the monster gives no response. "Asshole! Tell me you didn't do it!"
"No, no, no, no," Mazzy murmurs under her breath. Pulling, pulling, pulling.
"I had to," Thanos whispers.
"No, you didn't," Quill's voice tremors. He shakes his head, taking a step back. "No, you didn't." And then he breaks. His anger takes control, and he smashes his gun against the side of Thanos' head, almost breaking him from the trance. "No, you didn't!" he screams, hitting him repeatedly despite how many people shout for him to stop.
Tony breaks away from the gauntlet to stop Quill, leaving only Peter and Mazzy to keep on pulling. They're close. They're so, so close. Mazzy can feel it slipping from Thanos' fingers. The further off of his hand it gets, the easier it is to pull. Just a few more seconds.
"It's comin', it's comin', it's comin'. We got it, we got it!" Peter mumbles over and over.
Just as he and Mazzy manage to get the gauntlet from Thanos' hand, he breaks free from the trance. He grabs the glove right back and sends Peter and Mazzy flying back into the dirt.
"No, no, no!" Mazzy shouts, trying to pick herself back up again. Every bone in her body aches. Thanos is ten times stronger than he looks, and he looks incredibly strong. She pushes her hair back, away from her face, and sits back up again. Peter has already disappeared from beside her to go catch Mantis before her fall, and everyone else has already gotten back to the fighting. Before she can get the chance to get back into it, too, the fight has turned from fist against fist to magic against magic. Debris flies everywhere, and Mazzy just shields her head, using this quick moment as an opportunity to rejuvenate.
She only gets back up again when she hears her father's voice over the earpiece. "You throw another moon at me, and I'm gonna lose it," he quips. Thanos must say something in return, but Mazzy doesn't hear it. "You know me?" her dad says. There's another beat where Thanos must be saying something, and then her dad's voice again. "My only curse is you."
There are more explosions, and nervousness rips through Mazzy's entire body. She picks herself up and looks around to locate her dad. Across from Thanos, he's standing alone. He needs help. He can't 1-V-1 Thanos and win. She has to help him. So, she runs. And when she reaches her dad, he's down on his knees. One arm of his suit has been torn off, along with half of his mask. He's vulnerable. But he keeps fighting anyway, shooting a repulsor beam right at Thanos' chest.
It's all futile. Thanos rips Tony's mask clean off. Mazzy grabs at the gauntlet again, but he jabs an elbow into her face, breaking her nose and knocking her off of him. No matter how strong she is, broken noses hurt like hell. They burn and ache, and they last a few minutes longer than broken bones, in Mazzy's experience. Mazzy lets out a cry of pain.
Her cry is just enough to pull her dad's attention. Instinctively, his head snaps to the sound of her voice, eyes wide and heart racing. When he meets her eyes, a blade meets his abdomen.
Thanos pushes the blade deep into Tony's stomach. So far that it's sticking out of his back.
"Daddy!" Mazzy screams. Her feet carry her to his side. She grasps at his arm, paying no mind to Thanos, whose face is only mere inches from her own.
Tony's hand wraps around Mazzy's wrist, squeezing tight. He grunts in pain as Thanos pushes the blade further and tilts his head up to look at him. "You have my respect, Stark. When I'm done, half of humanity will still be alive," he says before releasing Tony's head. "I hope they remember you."
Blood drips from Tony's mouth. Mazzy wraps her arms around his shoulders. "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," she whispers either to herself or her dad—she's not sure.
Tony stares at Thanos, who is standing across from him with his fist clenched. He's about to kill him. He's about to kill Mazzy, too. Tony's mind screams for him to push her away or to tell her to move, but he can't speak. He can't do anything. Stop, stop, stop, his mind screams. Mazzy squeezes him tighter.
"Don't die. Don't die, Dad," Mazzy says fiercely.
Get away from me. Go. Go away, Tony wants to tell her. He can't get the words out.
The selfish parts of Tony are relieved when Strange speaks up. "Stop," the socerer sputters, picking himself up off the ground. "Spare their lives, and I will give you the stone."
Mazzy's life or half the universe's? It's cruel, but Tony would pick Mazzy a thousand times over.
"No tricks."
A little green stone appears between Strange's fingers.
Mazzy sits up and grabs at what's left of the right arm on her dad's suit. "Fix it, now, Dad. Fix it," she says.
Tony watches the little green stone as it finds its place in the golden gauntlet. "One to go." And just like that, Thanos is gone.
"Fix it. Dad, c'mon, fix it," Mazzy sputters. She shakes his arm, pulling his consciousness back into his body. Tony slowly sprays chemicals from his suit onto the wound in his stomach, and it burns, but it will quicken the healing process by binding the wound shut. "You're okay," Mazzy tells him.
He's okay, and Mazzy's okay, which is more important than anything. But Thanos has the fourth stone. There's only one stone left. If whoever has it now loses, they all lose. The universe loses.
They've lost. Mazzy knew they would. She just squeezes her dad tighter.