A New Arrangement
It took Tony all of a day to realize the implications of the Soldier calling him little one. Once he processed it he promptly spent the next several hours panicking in his lab, wondering whether or not the man had somehow figured out his secret. He wracked his brains, going over each of their interactions trying to figure out when he’d fucked up.
He hadn’t seen Bucky since he’d run out of Tony’s lab the day before. When he questioned Steve about it the man just shrugged, saying that Bucky had gone into his floor, claiming to need some time alone. Tony knew he should go talk to Bucky about it, especially since Tony doesn’t know how much information from the Soldier the man retains. However, it takes him several more hours of freaking out before he finally finds himself in requesting entrance to Bucky’s floor.
He thought for certain that Bucky would deny him, but to his surprise, that’s not the case and he quickly finds himself riding to the super soldier’s floor. He tries his best to remain calm, sternly telling himself that he will not drop during this conversation. He was only here to figure out just how much these two know -God that was weird referring to one person as two- and get out of there. He wondered idly why Bucky was so willing to let him onto his floor when he’d been so distraught yesterday. It didn’t take long for an answer to make itself known.
“Hello, малиш”
Tony stops dead in his tracks, halfway off the elevator, looking up to meet the Soldier’s gaze. “Hi…” he says, almost shyly and he internally kicks himself for being so weak. He clears his throat, stepping off the elevator fully. “I mean, hello. I have some questions to ask you.”
“Of course, малиш, ask away.” the man says, swirling the glass of wine ha in his hand. His voice is just as smooth and calming as Tony remembered it being yesterday, and Tony has to fight to keep himself from dropping on the spot. He had been bordering all day and none of this was helping. He holds back the whimper that threatens to fall from his lips. He was so tired and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and drop. He wished now more than ever that he had a Caregiver because he was terrified.
“Why do you keep calling me that?” Tony asks, voice a lot sharper than he intended it to be.
“What? Little one? Because that’s what you are.”
“What do you mean by that?”
There is a moment of silence where the Soldier eyes Tony. He finally sighs, gesturing towards the couch. “Sit.”
The little doesn’t dare disobey, recognizing a dom voice when he hears it. He idly wonders if that means that Bucky is a dom. If he is then he’s extraordinarily good with littles from what he’s seen of him interacting with Natasha, Clint, and Steve. The man sits across from him, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. He meets Tony’s eyes and speaks very gently. “I knew the moment that I saw you, little one. It’s not that hard to see. Your teammates are just blind. Well, except for the doctor.”
“Bruce knows?” Tony asks, panicked and the Soldier gets up, circling the coffee table and crouching in front of him. He grabs Tony by the shoulders firmly, shushing him.
“The doctor has suspicions, he assumes you are but hasn’t dared to ask you directly.”
Tony thinks back to the strange conversation the night Bucky arrived where he asked the genius if he was sure he was a dom.
“Oh.”
“As far as I know, no one else has figured it out.”
“What about Bucky?” Tony asks, more concerned than he felt like he should be about whether or not Bucky knew.
“He knows and is concerned about you. Why don’t you have a caregiver?” The question is asked as the other man shifts back to his seat, leaning back and narrowing his eyes at Tony like he’s analyzing him.
“Why do you care?” Tony snaps back, starting to feel defensive.
The Soldier looks at the little with a raised eyebrow, seeming surprised at his aggressive response. “I would be careful how you speak to me, малиш.,” he says, his voice deadly calm and Tony is suddenly reminded that he is entirely alone here. No one but JARVIS knows that he’s here and should the Solider decide, he could very easily hurt or even kill Tony before anyone could get down here to assist. “Now answer my question.”
“Because I’m not classified as a little, so I don’t need one,” Tony mumbles stubbornly.
“I’m aware of your formal classification as a dom, that is not my question.” the man retorts, giving Tony a stern look.
“I don’t see why you care. And why are you not all…murdery? Aren’t you supposed to be this dangerous assassin that’s killed god knows how many people?”
The Soldier snorts, shaking his head. “The more lucid that Bucky Barnes gets the more lucid I get. We were brainwashed, I was just the one who actually had control for all these years. I don’t want to hurt anyone. As long as they don’t cross us or anyone under our protection.” “How are you so…aware? Bucky seems to still be disoriented.”
“He’s been…out of commission so to say for many years now. Not fully aware. So now that he’s back, he has to adjust to being in control. Hence why he can’t prevent me from making appearances. I still maintain a majority of the power if that makes sense.”
“I don’t understand how this is possible.” Tony mumbles, “I suppose the closest thing is a dissociative disorder but those form in childhood. Somehow you gained a separate consciousness from Bucky.” Tony trails off, mind whirling with possibilities on how this happened. “We’re straying away from the topic of conversation that we should be focusing on,” Bucky suddenly says and Tony groans, placing his head in his hands.
“If I get a caregiver the chances of someone who will go blab to every social media outlet finding out will increase. I can’t risk that. If the general public finds out I’m a little they’ll take my company away from me, question my capabilities as Iron Man, and potentially more. They’ll strip me of who I am.”
The Soldier falls silent, studying Tony quietly for a few moments. Finally, he speaks. “Is there not a possibility that you can keep everything and still be little? Barton is also a little and no one questions him as an Avenger.”
“I suppose it’s possible. If I had lawyers who were actually on my side and enough people backing me up. But you don’t understand. The public already has an iffy opinion of me, this sort of information would be the final straw for many, and the perfect ammo for my company's board to deem me unfit. They already tried after Afghanistan.” Tony’s heart skips a beat when he recalls that. To be fair, Obi had been the one to start the process, but the board had been all too happy to jump on the train.”
“But what if you have lawyers, the entire Avengers team, and SHIELD on your side,” Tony looks up, recognizing the shift in tone, and sure enough when his eyes connect with intense gray it’s Bucky staring back at him.
“Tony I’m worried about you,” Bucky says honestly, “You’re so little, and as a caregiver, I can’t in good consciousness leave you without someone to care for you when you need it. When was the last time you actually let yourself drop for longer than a few hours? When’s the last time, if ever, that you’ve let someone care for you and show you how a little is supposed to be treated?”
Tony frowns, mind whirling with the new information that he’d been given. “I thought you were a dom,” he says quietly and Bucky looks at him, surprised.
“Why would you think that? Have you not seen the way that I interact with the other littles? Especially Steve.”
“Well yeah, but I just assumed that you were really good with kids. The Soldier acts-”
“Exactly, Winter acts like a dom,” Bucky interrupts, giving him an amused look. “I almost guarantee that if each of us took that fancy test that’s available now we’d come out as a Caregiver-Dom switch. At least that’s what would be put on paper. You and I know that it’s just the fact that Winter, somehow, is separate from me.
“Winter?” Tony asks and Bucky nods.
“It’s what he’s asked me to call him. I can uh…hear him? In my head. We can communicate with each other. It’s weird.”
“Huh…” Tony says, absorbing this information. “That’s interesting.”
“I guess. But we’re getting off topic.”
“God you two are persistent.” Tony says, rubbing a hand over his face, “I don’t know the last time I was little for longer than a few hours. I sometimes float between headspaces, which sucks ass. But besides that, I only drop when the stress gets to me. Or when something that upsets me enough happens.”
“So all your times little are when you’re distressed?” Bucky asks, and Tony can hear the pity and horror in his tone.
“I guess,” he mumbles, shrugging. “It’s no big deal.”
“No, it is a big deal, doll. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” The caregiver's tone turns stern, but his expression imploring. He moves closer to Tony again, grabbing onto his hands gently before Tony can cringe away. “You need to let yourself drop more and you need a caregiver to be there when you do so.”
Tony whimpers, eyes tearing up a bit, that familiar fuzziness starting to creep up on him again. “I can’t. I don’t have the time nor do I have the resources to find a caregiver that wouldn’t rat me out.”
Bucky stares at him, seeming to consider something, and he must have decided because he leans forward, catching Tony’s eye, his expression serious. “I wouldn’t rat you out,” he says and it takes a moment for Tony to catch the implication of that.
“You don’t want to be my caregiver, Barnes,” Tony whispers, shaking his head. “I’m too much to handle and I don’t go down easy and-”
“I don’t care about any of that. I want to help you. I need to help you. Tony, since the moment that I realized that you were a little I’ve wanted to pick you up and coddle you like you deserve. I feel a connection to you, one that I can’t explain. Trust me, I want this. The question is, do you?”
Tony opens his mouth to insist that, no he doesn’t want it, but the words die in his throat. He looks at Bucky, processing exactly what he’s offering, and damn it does he want that. He wants to be coddled and doted on. He wanted all the things that he knew the other littles got and probably more because he’s younger than them in age.
“I’m on the younger end of the spectrum.” He mumbles and Bucky nods, as if he already knew that. “I really don’t go down easy and I’m not always happy when I’m dropped.” Bucky simply nods once more and Tony has the feeling that’s the only response he will get. The caregiver really seemed set on this. So who was he to decline?
“Okay,” he whispers and a brilliant smile grows on Bucky’s face.
“Thank you,” he whispers, leaning in and wrapping Tony in a hug and that was all it took for Tony to drop entirely, tears welling in his eyes and spilling over. “Oh poor baby,” Bucky whispers, and suddenly the little is being scooped into strong arms, the metal one supporting him while the other brushes gently over his face, wiping tears away. “JARVIS, take me to Tony’s nursery,” the caregiver says, walking down the hallway, pausing in front of the elevator, free hand moving away momentarily to press the button. Almost immediately the AI responds.
“Of course Sergeant Barnes.”
Tony faintly wonders how Bucky knew about the nursery but is so fuzzy that he can’t think too hard about it. That was a thought for later. Right now he can’t help but snuggle closer to the caregiver's warmth, soaking up the affection like a sponge that’s been dry for far too long.
Before he knew it, they were stepping into his nursery and Bucky was quick to place Tony on the changing table. He locates the stuffed bear that Pepper got for the little, handing it over as a distraction while he quickly grabs clothes and a diaper. “Alright, doll, I’m gonna get you changed and then we can take some toys and play in the living room. I’ll even put on a movie. How does that sound? Hm?” Tony blinks up at Bucky, slowly processing the words. He slowly nods, hiding his face behind the stuffy shyly and the caregiver coos at him.
Tony whines a bit when Bucky starts to take his clothes off but his attempts to push the super soldier's hands prove useless. So he hides behind his stuffy, face red in embarrassment as the caregiver gets him in a diaper and some soft, play clothes. “Aww, baby, it’s alright,” Bucky coos, scooping Tony into his arms, “I had to get you changed so that you didn’t have an accident, yeah?”
The little whines at the casual way that the words are said as if it wasn’t that big of a deal. The whine quickly turns into a pout when Bucky laughs quietly, the young genius shifting his stuffy so he can glare at the caregiver. “Oh I’m sorry, doll, didn’t mean to upset you,” Bucky says, warmly, and Tony blushes, looking away, butterflies dancing in his stomach at the way that the caregiver looks and talks to him.
Tony finds himself being deposited on the ground in the living room and when he turns to look he finds Bucky walking back down the hallway. He whimpers, trying to push himself up onto his feet but he finds that he’s too unstable to do so. He plops back on the ground and watches as the caregiver disappears. His lower lip trembles as his breathing escalates, tears burning in his eyes, and before he can stop himself, Tony bursts into tears. His wails must’ve carried down the hallway because almost immediately Bucky reappears, hurrying over to look the little over, discarding the toys that were in his hand.
“Oh, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asks, gently lifting the baby up to check him over. “Did you get hurt?”
“L-left,” Tony chokes out between sobs and a look of realization crosses Bucky’s face.
“Oh, baby did you get scared when I left? I’m sorry,” he coos, pressing a sweet kiss to the crown of the baby's head, “I was just going to get you some toys to play with, I’m sorry.” He sways, rocking the little gently, as he begins to hum a lullaby quietly. Tony slowly calms down, laying his head on the caregiver's shoulder tiredly as he listens to him hum.
Bucky moves to sit on the couch, shifting Tony so he is cradled in his arms, snagging a nearby blanket to cover him with. Tony yawns, suddenly feeling exhausted, and snuggles closer to Bucky, his eyes starting to drift shut. He doesn’t know when he falls asleep but for the first time, he does so feel safe and cared for. The last thing he remembers is Bucky pressing another kiss to his head and murmuring gently in his ear.
“I’ve got you. You’re safe now my little one.”