Home Truths
“I think you need to go see Thor” Sylvie says suddenly one morning with little preamble as she walks into the kitchen. There is a determined look in her eyes as she peeks over the top of the book Loki is reading, his brows pinching in surprise. Loki’s expression is curious as he glances up and sees her stood in front of him, her hands perched confidently on her hips and back ramrod straight.
She stands like she means business.
“Good morning to you too” he chuckles back after a beat, finding great amusement in her sleep mused hair and flushed, ruddy cheeks. The imprint from her pillow still pressed like soft tattoo lines on her skin.
She looks precious and adorable in the oversized t-shirt and shorts she wears to bed, her sweet face so luminous in the morning sun despite her apparent solemn mood.
“I’m serious Loki” she sighs wearily as she avoids his attempt at grabbing her and stealing a kiss. Batting his hands away before brazenly thieving a piece of buttered toast from his plate instead. Sylvie bites into it with aplomb, her face still pensive as she takes a seat the other end of the table.
“It’s been a year, and you still haven’t reached out.”
“I’ve been busy.....” he huffs back before returning to his book and pointedly ignoring her. Sylvie narrows her eyes and pilfers another slice from his plate as he pretends, he cannot see her steal his breakfast.
Truth be told, he’s already eaten. He always does before she gets up, because ever since they had begun this strange cohabitation of sorts together, he had learned the hard way Sylvie prefers stealing his food than eating her own.
So, Loki always makes extra of everything he eats, every morning and every evening, without fail. Ready on his plate and there for her to scavenge, because old habits die hard.
He knows underneath all that that roughness and independence, this routine comforts her somehow, makes her feel, safe.
And he’s happy to keep the charade going as long she lets him, he’s happy to keep her belly full and bed warm for as long as she’ll have him.
“I’ve been saving the multiverse many times over and all that other mundane drivel... ” he adds with a grunt as his gaze flicks between his page and her face.
“You know as well as I do.... Darling.... Verity does most of the heavy lifting in that department these days..... You just watch” Sylvie says matter-of-factly between bites, waiting for him to react.
But Loki doesn’t reply, his brow growing heavy for a beat before it relaxes.
“In fact, I can’t remember the last time you actually went back to the Citadel.....”.
Loki shrugs as his eyes stay fixedly on the same page.
“I can freeze time Sylvie; I could leave for a century, and you’d never notice.”
She arches her brow at him in challenge, before pursing her lips in amusement.
“You’re not that slick Loki.....I always notice....” she teases “Plus you can’t seem to leave me alone for an hour, let alone a century”
Loki scoffs softly as he finally turns the page and gives her a tired look, begging her to drop it. Unfortunately, Sylvie is not that easily swayed. Undeterred entirely by his plaintive expression.
“Would you rather I didn’t adore you so pathetically” he shoots back with a pout, changing tact “Or that I wasn’t so embarrassingly in love with you?”
“I didn’t say that....” she grumbles, shifting in her chair as she blushes slightly.
“My point is you haven’t had to worry about the multiverse in quite a while....”
“Personally, I prefer not having to worry. It certainly gives me ample opportunity to thoroughly ravish quite regularly....” he interrupts with cheeky grin that makes her blush even deeper. Especially when he leans a little forward and gives her a heady look that could melt any mere mortal.
“..... I’m not objecting to that either” she replies in a slightly strangled tone, determined not to give into his methods of distraction. Even as they make her squirm a little in delight and something altogether darker.
“I just think it’s time to, maybe, be brave about things.”
“Are you saying I’m a coward?”
“No...I’m just....” Sylvie exhales loudly in slight frustration.
“I think you just need to bite the bullet and.....face him.”
Loki stares at her a moment, expression unreadable as he mulls it over. He shrugs and returns to his book, not willing to give her an answer.
“Loki....” she begins wearily.
“Sylvie....” he drawls back as he continues to be reread the same passage three times in a row.
“..... don’t ignore me.”
“I am not my love.....you are way too beguiling to even consider ignoring” he replies with a playful smirk that draws a faint smile in return. Sylvie quickly swallows it back, unwilling to let this go despite his repeated attempts at charm.
“Enough with the flattery Odinson.... It’s time....”
Loki sighs and places his book on the table. Knowing she will not be swayed from this new mission she’s taken upon herself. Sylvie is stubborn as ever.
“Come on, don’t give me that face. You know it’s long overdue” she adds as his face darkens and shoulders sag.
Loki scratches at the back of his neck as he avoids her eyes.
“I don’t know about that.... I barely think about.... “
“You’ve been saying his name in your sleep....did you know that? It’s been happening for months......” Sylvie interjects with a sceptical arch of her brow.
Loki’s face blanches, eyes growing wide.
“Oh....”
“Yeah oh....” she smirks slightly at his bewildered expression.
“Right..... I.... I didn’t really.....think.... ” he trails off quietly, reaching for his cup of coffee with a frown. He takes a heavy sip, eyes wistful as he mulls it over.
“Right”
Sylvie watches him silently, her eyes studying him carefully as she finishes her toast and leans back in the chair with a sigh.
Loki doesn’t say anything more at first, but she can read the storm of thoughts racing through his head by the way he holds his bearing. Jaw tightening as he wrestles with his conscience.
“You know I’ll come with you if you go....” she says softly after the moment has stretched on far too long. Her small, pale hand reaching out to his.
The corner of Loki’s mouth tilts up in a faint smile as he meets her eyes.
“I thought you said you hated New Asgard when you visited?”
“I did, it’s kitschy and it’s way too full of stupid tourists” she shudders with a comical look of horror.
“But.....” she pauses, her gaze dropping for a moment in uncharacteristic shyness, still unused to letting herself be truly vulnerable even after all this time.
“.... I’d willingly go and suffer it all again. For you.”
Loki’s smile stretches as he squeezes her hand lightly, his eyes soft as he looks at her.
“I’ll think about it” he murmurs back with an earnest smile, laughing slightly when Sylvie grins victoriously in reply.
“You better!”.
He raises her hand to his lips and kisses her palm.
“I promise.”
Sylvie’s face sweetens in response, a slight flush of pleasure on her cheeks. She takes a moment to luxuriate in it before she’s jumping to her feet as her gaze falls on the clock.
“Shit.....I’m late to meet Lyle.”
“You want me to freeze time? We could even fit in a quickie before you go” Loki drawls with a mischievous smirk, as he picks up his book again.
Sylvie rolls her eyes in reply as she busies herself with getting ready.
“You my darling, are just greedy, you know that” she says with admonishing tone, smirking coyly despite herself.
“I prefer hedonistic” Loki counters, with an equally beguiling grin. Eyes big and bright as they gaze up at her in amusement. The beginning of seduction flickering in that pale blue.
She relents for a moment, her face twisting with mischief as she marches over to him and grasps the curls at the back of his head a little too roughly. Fingers angling his face towards hers as he hisses in surprise.
Loki pants a little as she leans forward and lingers just short of his mouth, breath hot and sharp on his skin. Her smirk turns wicked as he waits in eager anticipation, knowing she has him hot and wanting.
“Later....” she hums back with a dismissive sniff, turning her face and releasing him before he can even think of kissing her.
“Bloody tease...” he growls, shooting her a dirty look as she skips toward their bedroom with a triumphant snort.
“You make it way too easy”.
There’s a small flash of green before Sylvie returns immaculately dressed in her best punky get up, hair no long a mess of sleep mussed curls and tangles as it sits high on her head in two cute buns.
“How do I look?” she grins with a haughty look, delighting in the way his gaze slowly drags up her body with appreciation. Then again, she could wear a brown, cloth sack and he’d still look at her like the greatest treasure in the universe.
“Delectable as always” he sighs in resignation, annoyance already forgotten in the wake of her frankly gorgeous face. He bites at his lip as he regards her, feeling a little jealous she’s leaving him to spend the day with Lyle.
Sylvie reads his face like a book, her smirk deepening.
“If it makes you feel any better, Lyle’s boyfriend Karma is helping at the record store today too....”
Loki blinks back at her before frowning.
“I didn’t say anything” he replies touchily as he goes back to reading with a grunt.
“You didn’t have to....” she laughs softly as she shakes her head with a grin.
Grabbing her keys, Sylvie sighs before she closes the small distance to him and plonks herself in his lap. Resolving to indulge him just for a moment. Her arms wrapping themselves around his shoulders as she presses a kiss to his mouth.
“..... Just behaviour yourselves while I’m gone.”
Loki’s dour expression breaks, smirk returning.
“When do I not?”
“All the time” Sylvie retorts in feigned weariness. Loki kisses her in return, book forgotten as he slips his hands around her waist.
“You sure you have to leave just yet?” he pouts, eyes large a puppyish as he tries to twist her arm.
“The others are counting on me, so yes...”
“You know I could literally just conjure an infinite amount of dollars....so much in fact, that little music shop and all your friends would never want for anything ever again” he suggests charmingly, knowing she will never go for the easy way out.
“Ah yes, but where would be the satisfaction in that?” she counters with an arch of her dark brow. Loki sighs in defeat and doesn’t argue.
Because frankly, after the lifetimes of devastation they have lived, playing house and living some semblance of normality for a while, is nothing short of bliss. Domesticity is new to both of them, and yet it suits them unexpectedly. They both know in their hearts it will not last forever, they are Gods after all. And one day, in the not-so-distant future, the simple, kind-hearted mortals of Broxton, Oklahoma, will start to notice their new friend never seems to age.
But for now, normality is enough. This easy life is enough.
Loki goes to say something clever and teasing to keep the banter going, all in the hopes of keeping her here a little longer, but an ominous tension washes over his face instead.
His body stiffens, his eyes glowing green and pupil’s dilating as the apprehension within grows deeper. Sylvie immediately feels her gut lurch, knowing in an instant what it means.
“Duty call it seems” she says carefully, giving him a tight smile as she brushes the dark waves of his hair away from his face with a worried sigh.
Loki’s eyes return to blue, though his expression remains grave. He nods in reply, relaxing a little under her feather light touches.
“No rest for the wicked...” he says plainly, brow heavy as he kisses her palm.
“Is it Kang?”
“Maybe.”
When he doesn’t elaborate, his gaze steely and hard, she has half a mind to demand she come too.
But she knows he won’t let her.
It’s his burden to wear, his throne to defend.
She’s done enough fighting for ten thousand lifetimes, and Loki wants it to stay that way.
“Go and save the day then Loki, God of Stories, and I’ll be right here waiting for you to come home”.
That draws a small smile from him, his gaze softening to affection.
He doesn’t say anything in reply. Choosing instead to kiss her sweetly as he stands with her cradled in his arms. Sylvie gasps in surprise but offers no resistance when his lips and mouth swallow the sound, tongue caressing hers.
Loki moves forward and places her on the kitchen table, stepping between her legs as the kiss deepens further, her hot moan in reply almost enough of a reason for him to throw in the towel and stay right here in this moment forever.
But he can’t.
His expression is doleful when he eventually pulls away, his spirit heavy as he rests his forehead on her and cups her face.
Both their eyes slipping close as they sigh in resignation.
Because they always hate this part.
“See you later min elske”.
He’s gone when Sylvie opens her eyes again, her heart panging a little at finding herself alone.
“Stay safe min kjære”.
Sylvie doesn’t ask what happened when he comes home that night covered in blood and bruises. This dark, desolate look in his eyes saying so much more than simple words as he holds his horned crown in his shaking, crimson stained hands.
Because the wobble of his bottom lip and the sharp set of his jaw tells her more than enough. He lets her peal the battle leathers from his body, her hands gentle but sure as she cleans the blood from his skin without a word. That ruin in his gaze as she dresses his wounds and kisses each purpling, swollen mark on his face, tells her everything she needs to know.
Sometimes even now in these halcyon days of relative peace, there are cruel intervals of abject defeat that must be endured.
Because there is always a price to be paid, a sacrifice to be made, so they can protect this beautiful new life of happiness.
And Loki does it willingly, getting his hands dirty every time, so she doesn’t have to.
Loki won’t let her do anything but live.
But Sylvie won’t stay idle forever, she won’t let herself watch him destroy himself.
Loki sits there in silence long after her hands have stilled, her soft touches and gentle kisses unable to chase that faraway look from his face. Loki barely registers anything but his own misery as he stares off into space, shoulders hunched and face blank.
“Are you okay?” she asks carefully as she reaches for his tightly clenched fists. He hasn’t let them relax since he got back, the knuckles so white from tension, there are almost translucent.
Loki jolts at the contact, usually soft blue eyes like flint for a beat before his posture relaxes a little.
“Yeah I’m fine” he answers gruffly, his right hand clenching harder as she coaxes his left between hers own.
She knows he’s not okay, he’s far from it. But she can’t push him.
Sylvie hold his hand in her lap, massaging the skin softly until it finally loosens, fingers intertwining with hers as his shoulders seems to unwind a little from their visible tension.
Sylvie doesn’t press any further, her silence patient as she waits for him to calm.
That lingering panic written like deep lines in his face.
Because she understands that broken look in his eyes, she has seen it many times over in her own reflection, that cold despair like an old friend staring back at her.
Something terrible had happened out there, of that she’s painfully sure. Something so bad, her playful, good-humoured Loki has been reduced to abject numbness and a thousand-yard stare.
Eventually his chest shudders, a tear rolling down his cheek as his head bows and he holds her hand just a little tighter.
“It was a bloodbath Sylv..... A total and utter hell scape....I was too late.... ” he gulps heavily, eyes downcast as the memory washes over him in sickly, dark waves.
“This Kang..... He was vicious...ruthless........ But we got him..... I made sure of it”
Loki sniffles hard as his tears flow free, eyes squeezing shut.
“We won, but Norns, there was so much blood, so much pain.... I changed what I could.... But.... Somethings were already written.”
Sylvie reaches for his face, turning it up to meet her tender and compassionate gaze.
“You did your best Loki Odinson, but we can’t always choose who lives and who dies....”
She leans forward and kisses his troubled brow and tear-stained cheeks.
“All that matters is you tried..... And you came home to me”.
Her voice is thick, emotions getting the better of her for a beat. Because there is always the chance, one day, she won’t see him walk back in that door in one piece. She resolves then and there, this is the last time she will send him out alone. Sylvie will not sit idle anymore, when he risks everything.
She won't, not any more. Loki has given her so much, it's time she did the same for him.
Loki shakes head as his breathing stutters, that well of sadness rising once more as he presses his lips into a thin line.
“Thor was there, not my Thor.... But...” he chokes out, his eyes so bleak, Sylvie feels her own heart break. Knowing what’s about to come before he even does it.
Loki finally slackens his clenched right fist to reveal a long braid of familiar blonde hair balanced in his palm. The edges of the braid are uneven and frayed, as if hastily cut by a blade.
“Oh Loki”
Sylvie let’s out a heavy sigh, her eyes squeezing shut in understanding as she pulls him into her chest. Wrapping her whole body around him as he clings to her and sobs. She tries not to cry, but it proves impossible.
Sylvie cannot help but grieve just as much as he does.
They hold each other for a long time after their tears have dried, both unwilling to let go for even a moment. That shared pain is too hard to endure alone, and it is such sweet comfort they find in the others strong, steady heartbeat.
Eventually Loki finds the courage to speak, his voice low and hoarse from crying.
But his conviction is resolute.
“It’s time Sylvie.....it's time to see my brother again”.
She pulls back to look at him carefully, cradling his face in her hands.
“Then we’ll go..... Whenever you’re ready.”
His smile is bittersweet in reply, kiss salty as he presses to her lips with a sigh.
“To New Asgard it is”.