"Alright, now he's just being overdramatic," Sam sighed, disappointed at Vikram for the third time since the movie started.
"Maybe that's just how he copes with it," you defend. "What if he's trying not to cry?" Cuddling closer to Sam, you try to soak in all the warmth he offers while he gladly pulls you closer- not thinking anything of it. "I get it. He's cute, but you don't have to defend everything he does, baby."
You try to keep your emotions at bay as the movie progresses- knowing how it ends.
"I'm not doing it because he's cute, I'm saying it cuz I feel bad for both of them."
You won't spoil it for him, of course not. Even if you start crying before the bomb drops. Literally.
"You okay, sweetheart?" he asks after a while, concerned as always. You had started to grow quieter and snuggled even closer to him. "Yeah." You leaned your head upward from where it rested on his chest. There was an unusual look in your eyes; he could tell the film was getting to you.
Maybe it was the film, or you were deep in your head again, distressed about something else entirely. Or maybe the movie just provoked it.
When the final battle was over and Vikram's entire family and neighbourhood gathered for his memorial service, the dam finally broke. You were done fighting back tears. Sam was getting teary as well, but not the same way you were sniffling and wetting his t-shirt.
"Damn I don't even blame you for crying at this point," Sam chuckled, attempting to comfort you while having a hard time keeping his own misty eyes from spilling over.
The movie was over, the credits started rolling, and Sam has pulled himself together- yet you had not gotten over it. Not even close.
"Hey.." he consoled and pulled you into his lap while cupping your face in his hands, trying to soothe your pain the way he so skillfully does. "Baby, please look at me. I hate seeing you like this.."
You whimpered, "I'm so sorry, I just get so scared watching these types of films." You held your face in your hands, trying to conceal your fluster. "It's stupid anyway, forget it"
Sam disregarded that deprecating remark, his tender gaze trying to read through your sentiments. "Scared of what beautiful?" you chuckled and shook your head, looking deeply into his eyes..
As if that alone would convey everything you wanted to tell him.
"You know, Samuel. I feel you know exactly why I get scared," you confessed, finally starting to gain control of your breathing.
Sam knew you loved him; you told him so every day, but he had no clue just how much he meant to you. The kind of love that makes your chest hurt and makes you scream his name off of rooftops. The love that makes every other facet of your life seem close to irrelevant, to the point where it is scary. The kind that makes you lose control yet feel most at home. He taught you to let go of your inhibitions and told you every day, just how much you deserve to be loved. As if he opened the window to a sunny day into the dark room that was your life.
You loved him more than anything, and times like these reminded you of just how afraid you are to lose him.
Sam gives you a look, "Baby, I don't get what you mean-" Then it hits him-
She worries it might be me someday.
He let out a hearty laugh, pulled you close to his chest and wrapped his arms around you in a tight embrace, "Aw baby, is this about you worrying about me when I go out for my missions? You afraid about something bad happening to me?" you buried your head into the crook of his neck, not finding it as adorable as he did. "it's not funny.." His animated reaction to your concern wasn't ideal; you did worry, genuinely. It did help you stop crying though.
"You know just because I'm laughing, doesn't mean I'm not offended- I'm phenomenal at my job, and you out of all people should know that," Sam grumbled in fake offence, trying to lighten the mood.
You lifted your head from the home you often made out of his neck, looking at him with stars in your eyes you were convinced he could see. "Isn't that the whole problem baby? You're so good at your job, I know you wouldn't hesitate to put your life on the line if it came down to it. And that would mean you won't come back home to me." he looked you in the eyes fondly as he listened on. "You have no idea how much it scares me to even picture that day as part of my future; I can't lose you, Sam, You have no clue how much you mean to me, baby"
Tears were brewing in your eyes again as you once again turned into a blubbering mess. He brushed off your tears and tenderly brought your face closer to his; kissing you deeply; once, twice, again and once more, bringing your foreheads together. "Sweetheart, I need you to understand and remember this. If there is one thing imma do in my life, it is to never, ever tolerate this sadness on your face. So get this ingrained in that pretty brain of yours- I will always, always come back to you. There isn't a power strong enough in this world that can keep me away from you, there isn't a bad guy brutal enough who's got the strength to take away what it is between us. I know it takes longer than we'd like it sometimes, but I will always come home. Because my home isn't this house that we built for us, it is you. It's us together." he professed while stroking away the dried tears on your face.
You started giggling fondly, unable to control the love you feel for this man, your man; if it was physical, you would be bursting at the seams with it.
"Ay, that's not fair! I just put my heart out on my sleeve for you and you're laughing?? You thought that funny???" Sam defended, despite having no conviction in his argument since he stared at you in fond amusement anyway. "I hate it when you do that... you're trying to sweet-talk me"
"Cuz you're so sweet" ever the flirt.
"Sam", you said in fake offence, trying to bite back your smile.
"I meant it, baby. Every word"
"I love you... so much" Beyond measure.
"I love you too honey" You're everything.
He drove his point home by kissing you passionately on the lips and punctuated it further by kissing your forehead. You then put yours on his. "Can we watch something horrifying now? I feel I might get diabetes from all this sweetness" you proposed. "Are you serious?" he deadpanned. "Yep, and you literally promised you're not going anywhere minutes ago, so no backing out" "How do you even tolerate those movies?" Sam argued, clearly not amused at the sudden change in the mood.
"Just like I tolerate you" You kissed his cheek playfully.
"Fine, but I get to choose what we're having for dinner"
"Whatever you say, Sammy"
xx