No Rest for the Wicked

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Chapter 1

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-------The Beach House------

--------Mar--------

"LOKI! WHERE THE HELL IS BUCKY?!" 

It had taken me an embarrassingly long time to realize he was impersonating the man. I'd spent almost three days with Bucky figuring things out, talking, and healing… or so I thought.

God damn it… 

Holding the trickster against the wall, I fought the urge to beat the shit out of him. 

"Queen, hu!? I should have known RIGHT THEN! FUCK, LOKI!" I raged.

Dropping him, I walked away in a fury.

"He's fine!" he yelled out from behind me. After straightening himself he dropped the illusion, revealing his normal form.

"What did you do with him!?" I growled, stopping.

"He's at the compound. I'm sure he's fine!" he winced, and backed away from me as I charged him again.

"I swear if he's hurt because of this I'll…" 

"MAR!" Bucky's voice called out from behind me and I froze. 

"If you're fucking with me again…" I glared at Loki with daggers for eyes.

"No…" he groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose, then nodded behind me.

I spun on the spot, coming face to face with Barnes. The REAL Barnes.

He was pale as a ghost, eyes red, hair a mess, looking like he'd just been through Hell and back.

"ARE YOU OKAY!?" we called out to each other in unison.

I simply smiled and nodded as he released a heavy breath. 

"I'm fine. But I'm gonna kill HIM!" Bucky snarled, then charged at Loki.

As he passed me I grabbed his hand mid-stride, stopping him, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

I don't want them to fight! I WANTED them to get along. That was one of the reasons I did all this… after noticing hints and looks between them. But now all of that was fucked.

"Stop, it's not worth it! Besides, you don't LOOK fine. What the hell happened?"

"I was stuck in the jail at HQ. They thought I was a Skrull!" he glared at Loki with hatred, then continued. "They kept me locked up until the spell or whatever wore off. I could fucking kill him, Mar!”

"See… everything worked out just fine!" Loki smiled. “You’re here now, that’s what's important.”

We both yelled back at him to shut up.

Bucky ran his hands around my back and squeezed, holding me tighter to him, and buried his face into my neck.

"Are YOU ok?" he repeated quietly, for only me to hear. I felt his arms trembling and his breathing quicken.

"Yes, I swear," I reassured him. 

"How? How are you here!?" 

His fingers dug into my skin as I realized he didn't know anything about what had happened to me. I'd only told Loki, thinking it was him.

"We have a lot to talk about," I smiled, pushing away so I could look up at him.

He’s a fuckin’ disaster. I can't even imagine what he's been through.

--------------------

They'd both decided to stay even with sharing my small beach house. After I made some adjustments there was enough space for the three of us to have our own rooms. As awkward as it was, it was also amazing. 

There was a lot to unpack but we finally had time.

When I told him Ky was going to stay with his people Bucky had been almost as disappointed as Loki was. He’d been taken in by the best family possible. 

They both understood and I didn’t dwell on the family aspect with either of them. That was something I knew I needed to let go of for good.

We gave each other all the distance we needed and we all appreciated the last few quiet days.

--------------------

Sitting at the small table on the porch, I poured Bucky another cup of coffee as I listened to him retell his ordeal with Loki.

He hated the man, and with good reason. I'd left him for Loki twice and then he pulled the switcheroo shit. I took the blame for all of it. I’d selfishly wanted them both here, wanted them both... 

I shook off the thought.

How he was able to forgive me and move on was beyond me but I was so incredibly grateful he had. 

I watched as he tried to relax, feet up on the table, hands behind his head, staring out at the beach with a slight scowl on his face. The huff was his tell-tale sign that he was trying to think of a way to talk to me about something.

Walking over to stand behind him, I ran my hands over his arms then tucked them around his chest. He brought his down, and pulled me in. Then turning, he kissed my cheek. 

"Hey, what are you thinkin' about?" I nudged.

"This place is amazing, I still can't believe you did all this." 

I smiled but knew.

"That wasn't it, was it," I said, hesitant to pry.

"No…" he turned his gaze to the palms. 

Loki was in the hammock tied between two of the largest trees, wrapped in only a towel, reading and swaying with the breeze. Not a care in the world.

"This isn't you, is it?" I murmured.

"I've been fighting almost my whole life… since I was a kid. Just going from one war to another. I WANT to do this. I WANT to be here with you more than anything but… I can't do THAT," he gestured to Loki and sighed heavily. "I can't do NOTHING." 

"I know," was all I could manage to say.

Deep down I'd always known. 

This wasn't his place, his role in life. 

Was it even mine?  

Honestly, I knew it wasn't. 

We were meant for more. 

It would be an insult against everything we'd fought for if I kept thinking we weren't. We were heroes, protectors, Avengers.

"A little down time isn't a bad thing though," I hummed.

"No. It’s definitely not a bad thing." 

As I watched Loki relaxing, something crossed my mind. They’d been through so much together but seemed to hate each other, not saying two words between them this whole time. 

Maybe they just need to let it all out… What if…

"I have an idea."

With a thought I made the hammock under Loki disappear and he slammed to the ground in a huff. 

"What in the… Marina!" Loki jumped up and brushed the sand from himself in frustration.

Chuckling, I turned to Bucky.

"Reach under the table." 

He did and as his hand hit the weapon he smirked up. 

"What do you want me to do with THIS?!" 

"Try to kill him," I nodded toward Loki. I KNEW he'd never be able to and it would help him get out his anger towards the man. "Just a little page out of the book of Loki," I chuckled again.

“Hu,” he shrugged. “Okay,” smiling, he aimed with an automated precision, and fired.

Loki dodged and the bullet hit the tree directly behind his head.

"BARNES!" 

Enraged, Loki sent a blast of green energy toward Bucky, taking out the door frame and half the roof, barely missing us. In a second flash of green he clad himself in his gold armor.

"WAIT! No magic!" I ordered.

"SERIOUSLY, Marina! But guns are!?" he glared at me as he realized the game. "FINE!"

Bucky ran out and they started throwing punches, one after the other. 

As they grappled towards the beach I recreated the hammock and sat to watch it all unfold.

Loki was noticeably stronger but Bucky fought with superhuman skill. Truly one of the most talented fighters in the universe, he held his own against the God. 

Strings of cusses and insults poured out of them both. Holding my breath, I winced with each hit and throw. 

Shit… they might ACTUALLY hate each other. Fuckin’ hell…

Then there was more. Listening in on the argument, I was optimistic this might actually work.

“I trusted you! We were a team! A shitty ass team but it was all I had!” 

“Lies! You were only using me for my abilities! You did not want my help! You were plotting before I even had the thought!” Loki growled, punching Bucky in the gut. 

Bent over in pain, Bucky paused, not retaliating right away but straightened and shook it off. 

Fuck, he can take a hit. 

I waited for more but they were done. The truth from each side had a visible effect. They were both guilty of deceit and they knew it now.

Loki mumbled something to him then came over to me. Barnes followed.

"Was that enjoyable for you!?" he groaned as he fell to the ground, leaning against the tree to my left. They were exhausted after almost an hour of this.

Bucky crashed to the ground to my right, gulping down his water, bruised and cut up.

Laying back in the hammock, I could only laugh until Bucky reached up, pulled at the fabric, and swung me onto the ground. 

Hitting it with a grunt, I flipped my hair from my face, and flung sand at him as I growled with disapproval.

"Damn it!" he lunged, taking me to my back. But before I could even react, Loki shoved him off me. 

"No, she's mine! It’s her turn. She needs to pay for what she's done!" Loki gestured between the two of them in their tattered and beaten state. 

He smiled down at me wickedly as did Bucky. 

"Fuck…" 

Jumping to my feet I blocked a fist with my forearm as Bucky swung. I pulled energy from my stones and held it in my palm, ready to attack.

"No magic!" Loki ordered, chucking through his smirk.

"FUCK!" I yelled again, stepping back and pulling in the power. "FINE!" 

Instantly facing a barrage from both sides, I blocked and dodged fists and legs. I was still fast and strong without my powers but was it enough!?

Ducking a blow from Bucky's metal arm, it landed on the tree next to me, sticking for a second, enough time for me to knee him, sending him flying.

Loki didn't hesitate as his fist buried into my rib, knocking the air from my lungs.

Taking a breath, I ran, half excited, half terrified, not knowing how far they were going to take this.

They hunted me through the trees as I made my way up the slope. 

If I reached high ground I might have some advantage. 

As I passed an outcropping of large boulders I stopped to assess my enemy's location before climbing up.

Blinding pain hit me from behind as Bucky slammed into me. I was too slow! He restrained me with his metal arm before I could block it. I knew I couldn't overpower him with it engaged.

"Damn it!" I struggled against him, trying to maneuver my feet to get him off balance.

"Yield!" Loki ordered, coming up to my face, pushing his chest against mine.

"Never!" I screeched and tried to headbutt him but he avoided it.  

Grabbing me harshly by the jaw, he turned my head away from him. 

Stuck with my back crushed against Bucky and Loki pressing into the front of me, my heart started to race uncomfortably. Embarrassed to be so aroused by this, I tried wriggling free again. 

Nothing.

As Bucky held me he started laughing. His low tone reverberated through his hardened chest into my back. 

Could he tell my body was on fire? Did he think it was funny?!  

I knew if I told him to drop me he would but I really WAS enjoying this! I also knew Loki could read my thoughts sometimes.

Fuck. Shut up!

The heat of their bodies against mine was unbearable. 

Bucky's growing erection jabbed against my butt and I had to refrain from pushing back against it. The look in Loki’s eyes told me he wouldn't hesitate to fuck me right here while Bucky held me back.

I have to stop this.  

"Ok, ok, I yield! Let me go!" 

Bucky slowly released me but Loki held my face.

"I don't trust you," he squinted.

Raising my hands in the air I promised I wouldn't attack and with half a grin I stepped back. 

"I yield," I repeated and without another word I flashed away to the house, leaving them on the hill. 

"Holy fucking shit… " I hummed to myself as I slammed both hands to the table and hung my head. 

That was intense!

It took way too long for me to get my shit together but once my head was straight, I quickly fixed the house and ran off to the beach needing a swim or anything to clear my mind. I didn’t make it even halfway to the water when Bucky caught up to me.

"Hey! Everything ok?" he asked, seeming nervous.

"Yeah! I'm good!" I smiled, turning to him.

"Good. I was worried you got hurt… the way you just left," he relaxed and smiled back.

"Are you alright too?" I questioned. Squinting, I waited to see if he was mad. I wasn't sure if all of this was a good idea.

"Yeah, surprisingly. It helped," turning he nodded to the house where Loki was now sitting, and kind of half waved to him.

I wonder if… no, stop, don’t ask.

Pleased with my shitty therapy session, I let it be. It seemed like they were able to get their dislike for each other off their chests and maybe even more. 

But now… now I have a problem.

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Chapter 2

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--------Loki-------

Her hands, glazed in her own blood…

As we laid side by side broken in the sand, my ears still ringing from the blast, head spinning, she handed me her Infinity Stones. 

"Don't… don't let Hydra get them…" she coughed out as she was ripped from my grasp, into the storm by the agent.

The cloud folded in on itself, soon vanishing as if it had never existed.

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Only moments ago I had strode up to her and Barnes as they spoke on the beach, ready with a sarcastic comment after our mock battle, when from nothing, a black cloud rimmed in red fire, thundered out from the sea! 

They had backed away in an instant, rushing to my side, and the three of us had prepared to defend ourselves or fight.

"What the hell is THAT?!" Barnes growled.

"I have no fucking clue!" she shouted over the roar as the storm grew out and the wind kicked up sand, blocking the sun. 

From the depths of its blackness an object flew out with supernatural speed and force, right at Barnes. 

Catching it with his vibranium hand, he stopped it millimeters from his face. As he lowered his arm I saw it clearly. A round metal disk, black, with a red circle ringing a red tentacled creature adorning the front.

The look on his face was utter horror as was Marina's. They held each other's stare then both looked over the object.

"What in the world…" I asked.

My shock went unnoticed by the pair as Barnes strapped the object to his arm and braced to fight. Marina followed suit. 

"Looks good on you," a familiar voice echoed from the abyss. 

"Is that…" 

"What… the… fuck…" Marina cursed.

Appearing from the storm, a massive man stalked towards us, dressed in black with the same creature embossed across the chest of the uniform, helmet to match.

An aura of pure darkness and evil emanated from him as he glared at the others.

"Rogers!?" Barnes snarled.

Slowly, more soldiers clad in black and red armor emerged out from behind him, weapons aimed at us. 

"Hydra…" Marina choked on the word as if it strangled her to say it.

Pure terror was radiating from her, driving me to place myself between her and this threat but the attack didn't come from the front. Distracted by the events unfolding, we failed to notice, the storm had flanked us. Just as we'd realized it, a blast hit our backs.

Barnes was thrown to the sand at the man’s feet and seemed to be unconscious. Rogers smiled down at him, glowing with satisfaction, then ripped the object off Barnes’ arm, kicking him aside like a ragdoll, putting yards between us.

He’s useless. 

On the ground, I held Marina to me as Rogers approached. 

"She's coming with me," he snarled, lifting the shield over his head.

Rolling on top of her, I took the brunt of the blow as he brought it down on my back.

"Loki!" 

Looking down into her eyes, she was insane with terror! 

I'd never seen this in her, even with everything we had already been through! This was different! 

Suddenly blood spilled out as she pulled the stones from her body. Encasing them to protect me, she tucked them behind my armor. 

"Don't… don't let Hydra get them…"

As if disembodied, I watched, helpless, while the man pulled her right out of my hands. I had begged him to take me instead but then… then they were just gone. 

-----The Hydra Dimension-----

--------Mar--------

This isn't happening, this isn't happening… How the fuck is this happening!? 

"Steve… You're Steve Rogers… but you're… dead… and you weren't Hydra…" 

Dizzy with confusion and pain, I tried engaging him. Tried to get answers. Tried to keep my focus on him and what was happening. I couldn't let anything slip past me. I didn't know where I was, where or WHY they were taking me, and without my stones I was weaker than usual.

Looking down I could see that they'd at least bandaged the hole in my chest but it was still raw and burned with each breath.

"Where are we going?" 

Not answering, he sat staring mindlessly at me.

"What do you want with me!?" I growled, tugging at my restraints, unable to manipulate them.

After trying over and over to reach out to the objects around me and failing, I swallowed down my horror that I didn’t have my power for some reason.

Switching my attention to their weapons, I studied them the best I could. They reminded me of the Red Skull's army. The weapons they had were… Tesseract powered.

Fuck.

I realized now why they might have wanted only me. At least they didn’t seem to know about the Infinity Stones, I thought thankfully.

Is that their play? My Tesseract energy? Had they already taken it ? 

No, I don’t feel DRAINED like before. They must be using some sort of power dampener on me.

"I get it… Good luck with that," I snarked at the thought of them trying to take my energy as so many others have tried and failed.

Laughing under my breath, I eyed him with hate as the vehicle we were in rumbled over some rough terrain.

Where the fuck AM I THOUGH!?

"Siberia?" I questioned, trying to read any micro expressions. 

I continued, naming some places Hydra might have been able to hide out and re-group over the years.

"Antarctica?" 

"Argentina?" 

"Paris," he finally answered.

"WHAT?!" 

He smiled deviantly and rested his head back as if satisfied.

Sure as shit, the doors opened and they pushed me out into the ruins of a city.

"When the fuck…" I cursed under my breath in shock.

Did this happen when we were hiding? After the Skrull war when we were in space? What was that cloud? A portal of some kind?! What fucking PLANET am I even on!?

I gulped down hard, trying to keep my wits about me and my situational awareness sharp but struggled.

He noticed, knocking me to the ground.

"Don't worry. The Doctor will have all the answers."  

The crack of bone echoed in my skull then darkness.

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My pulse pounded against my temples, waking me, letting me know I was still alive before the pain did.

"Not again…" 

Looking around the room it was DEFINITELY Hydra. Ever bit of it, screamed as such.

"You are awake. Very good. We can start," the Doctor's eerie voice shook me to my core. 

How long had it been since the last time I’d heard it? 

"Doctor Weirdo," I joked, covering my fear. "Good to see you again! How's the family? Kids? Wife?" I asked sarcastically, keeping up the questions, trying to figure this out. 

Try to buy some time.

"Stop," the deep voice reverberated through the room. 

Rogers was behind me, just out of sight. His hand came down, pressing hard on my collarbone and I realized I was fucked. I couldn’t try to make a break for it now, not with him able to overpower me. 

This is bad.

"Doctor," he gestured for him to start.

Fully restrained, I was helpless to stop them. He worked at hooking up wires to my extremities then nodded to Steve. 

Having been through this before I took a deep breath, calming myself the best I could, knowing panicking wouldn't help anything and that I'd eventually get my chance at escape. 

"You know, I'll eventually get free," I winked to Rogers, taking him off guard for a millisecond. 

Hmm interesting. Did speaking of freedom push a button? I'd have to hold on to that one for later. 

He shoved my bed in frustration, it rolled across the room, into the stomachs of two orderlies. They grunted and took over, pushing me into a glass chamber.

Fuck.

The door was sealed. 

This isn't good.

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I woke up again in a metal cell this time. No restraints. No doctor. No equipment. 

Feeling it was gone, I tried anyway, reaching out for my power, there was nothing. 

They took my Tesseract energy.

"Mother fuckers…" I huffed, "not again!"

I need answers! I needed to pull a legendary Black Widow interrogation.

"Hey! I'm awake? What the fuck are you gonna do about it! Rogers!"

Not one sound came from the hall.

"Fight me! I dare you! Coward! Chicken shit!"

Hoping insulting him would draw him out, there was still no answer.

"Star-spangled fuck!"

"TRAITOR!" 

-----The Beach House-----

-------Bucky-------

Spinning, I pushed up to my elbow, rubbing my head to try to ease the pounding.

"What the hell happened!?" I spat the sand from my mouth, tasting blood mixed with the grit.

Rolling to my back sent shooting pain through my core, stopping a full breath. 

How many ribs are broken THIS time?

"Mar…" I called out, despite the fire in my chest. 

No reply. 

It was near sunset. The sky was clear and beautiful; the waves lapped rhythmically at the shore.

Shutting my eyes, I tried to remember what happened but lost focus. 

So quiet… so peaceful.

"Get up!" Loki shouted from above me, startling me awake.

He was holding out a hand, offering to help me up, looking worse off than I felt. 

How is he standing!?  

Blood soaked the front of him and down his other arm.

"Where's Marina!?" 

"Good question," he growled as I stood and scanned the beach. 

It was as if nothing had happened!  

"Rogers…" I remembered. It was Steve but he was Hydra. "How…" I shook my head. 

THAT was a mistake…

Still feeling the dizziness, I fell to my knees.

"You knew that man, didn't you!?" Loki's tone changed to hatred. "What did he do with her!?"

Towering over me, he grabbed me by the collar, holding a dagger in his other fist, ready to strike. 

"No, it wasn't… THAT wasn't the person I knew. HE died…" I trailed off as he let me go.

The pain of losing Steve crept up.

Now she's gone again too.

No, this isn't happening!

"Loki! What happened?!" I asked again.

"They took her, those kraken worshipers," he growled. 

"Hydra… it was Hydra." 

"WHATEVER THEY ARE… THEY TOOK HER, BARNES! WHY?!" 

"I … I don't know…" I stuttered through my pain, spitting out more blood.

Falling fully into the sand, I just needed to rest for a second, its warmth felt good against my side and I closed my eyes for a minute.

Loki sat beside me, speechless for once, as he stared into the sunset. 

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"This is a nightmare!" Strange yelled from his gold portal as he stepped out onto the beach.

"Loki! Barnes! Was it Hydra?" 

"Yes! What's going on STRANGE?! How did you know…WHAT DID YOU DO?!" I accused, with no patience. 

We'd been sitting, nursing our wounds on the porch when he suddenly appeared.

"Tea?" Loki offered. 

"Seriously?" I groaned. 

"There's been a problem…" Strange gestured a no to Loki as he walked up to us.

"REALLY? I couldn’t tell!" I spouted sarcastically as I stood, fist clenched. "TALK!"

"A tear in the mulit-verse…"

"A WHAT?" 

"A tear… a hole or split…"

"I know what a damn TEAR is… what the fuck is a MULTIVERSE?"

He went on to explain vaguely how he'd been trying to help someone by performing a spell but it malfunctioned, opening up rifts to other parallel universes.

"So, we've been hunting down the gateways, closing them one by one."

"And that's what that was!? A gateway? TO WHERE!? WHERE THE HELL IS SHE?!" Loki charged, all politeness out the window now.

This trend needed to stop.

"To another reality, simply," Strange answered. “Obviously one where Hydra ruled.”

"Are you fucking joking… " I couldn't process this shit. 

She was taken to a parallel universe where Hydra broke through some multiversal gateway to capture her!? One where Steve was working with them!?

I sat, overwhelmed. She was there, alone, in Hydra's grasp again. 

Mar’s worst fear… 

"But what do they want with her?" I questioned rhetorically.

Slamming the table, Loki ordered him to help us get her back.

"I can't go, there's too much I need to fix here... but I think I can get you there. You need to know that if you fail, if you don't get back before the last tear is sealed, you'll be stuck there forever…" he trailed off.

"It's a risk we need to take! Or die trying!" Loki growled.

"You have to go now, and don't waste any time! Take this, it's LITERALLY your token back so don't lose it!"

Handing me a coin, I rolled it in my hand and buckled it away in a pocket.

Spinning his hands, Strange forced opened a crack in our reality and gestured for us to enter. 

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Chapter 3

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-----The Hydra Dimension-----

-------Mar-------

Water dripped in from the corner and I prayed it was clean every time I risked a sip.

This was a tactic. They were trying to break me. 

Ha.  

Little do they know this wasn't my first rodeo. I'll give it a few more days and start to act the part. Slowly I'll pretend to lose my mind and see if they'd react.

--------------------

Days had possibly passed… I had no bearings, no food, not even a sound from around me.

I'd started my role as the distressed captive, yelling randomly, banging my head against the wall, pacing.

Bored with that, I finally just slumped in a corner facing the door, reserving my strength for the inevitable.

--------------------

I must have passed out. Shit.  

Shaking the haze away, I was furious with myself for letting that happen.

Sitting up, I sensed something was off. 

Was the room darker? 

Movement!

Jumping up ridiculously slow, I was caught by the neck and slammed into the wall.

Rogers loomed in front of me as I struggled to feel the floor with my feet and struggled to pull his hands off me.

"Finally," I laughed the best I could with my airway restricted.

"Why is that funny?" he growled.

"I needed information." 

"Hummm," he squinted and dropped me. "All the information in the world won't do you any good after… "

Stepping away, he began muttering words. Words I'd never thought I'd hear again. Words that cut into my soul.

My legs slowly grew numb as the buzzing in my ears intensified.

"No… that won't work…" I hissed but I WAS losing focus, I felt like I was falling through the floor, like it was swallowing me whole!

"It's not working!" I bluffed. 

What the fuck is happening?!  

Panic started to build as he went on. 

He repeated the sequence again, and again, and again.

Crashing to the floor, it now seemed like it was covered in blood. I could smell the metallic essence, felt the sticky wetness coating my fingers as I reached out to touch it. 

I’m losing my damn mind!

"This isn't happening," I held out with every cell of my body, praying he'd stop or give up but he continued, leaning in closely, his hot breath against my neck almost burned.

Someone was screaming, being tortured far off in the distance, and it echoed in my brain.

Desperately I tried to block it out, but he ripped my hands away from my head, pinning them to my sides. 

Whispering into my ear, the last string spilled out from his lips like a delicious love song. I needed it now, craved it!

"Vernal.

Twisted.

Zero.

Absence.

Malice.

Coriander.

Sundown.

Frost.

Twenty-seven.

Red."

"Yes…" my lips muttered eagerly, without my consent. 

Closing my eyes, my heartbeat was the only thing left in the world.

------Agent Coal------

"Soldier?"

"Ready to comply,” I muttered as my gaze met his perfectly blue eyes.

"There's my girl, welcome back," he hummed as he brushed my hair from my cheek.

His voice was smooth and caring; my heart raced at the sound. 

Lifting me to the wall, he pressed against me, his hot breath so close to my lips. 

“Kiss me,” he commanded in his deep, sensual tone. Missing this with my soul I obeyed.  

"It worked?" I breathed between our lips as I held tight to him.

--------------------

"How do you feel?" the Doctor questioned as he shined a light into my eyes, examining me.

"Like I was hit by a train. What the hell did you do to this body?" I grinned over at my love as he stood by my side.

"It was strong, and put up a good fight. It should serve you well!” Steve smiled smugly but then his tone darkened. "It almost didn't work..." his scowl grew as he looked me over. “This one was… different.”

"Before the implantation we had to drain its energy so as to not have it reject your consciousness,” the Doctor frowned. 

“Energy?”

He went on to explain that THIS version of Marina had somehow been imbibed with Tesseract energy, similarly to how our weapons worked. Her DNA had been altered significantly to be able to hold and control it. He was eager to study the new body and happy to have the energy for ourselves now.

Clearing his throat, he continued, "but you need to know, we can not start again. This was the last opportunity. We were lucky to be able to recover your consciousness a second time, it will not survive a third.”

"That was close," my heart raced knowing I'd just escaped permanent death as I looked over to the glass enclosure on the other side of the room, where the procedure had taken place. 

“This second host is your last chance.”

Reaching up I held Steve's hand, grateful he was able to bring this body back through the dimensional rift.

He knew what I was thinking and nodded. 

"I needed to do everything I could to save you."

“There are flashes from this mind, from that world,” sighing, I hung my head. I wasn't sure if I should tell them, but I continued. “Barnes was there.”

"I saw. Forget him. He was a traitor and deserved to die," Steve said, coldly. "He's the reason for all this anyway. I'm glad we took it from him. I hope he had some type of connection with this body and now HE can feel what it's like to lose you!" he growled with hate. 

"Did we make a mistake, using the body from that dimension?"

"The first host was too weak, powerless, normal. We should have known it wouldn't survive," the Doctor reassured me.

"But I feel like this one could be too strong," truthfully I was terrified of this other Marina, pushed down inside me. 

Looking over to Steve, I could read him like a book. He was scared too. He had lost me twice and I knew he couldn't survive losing me forever.

"Look, if anything DOES happen you have to promise me you won't put the organization at risk again," I begged as I held his hand to my lips. "We've all worked so damn hard to get to this point," I smiled at him, trying to get him to understand.

"We needed you. Now, more than ever. The resistance against Hydra is getting stronger. I'd make that call over and over if it meant having our best fighter on the ground,” he squeezed my hand tighter.

“That’s an order, soldier. I’m still your superior officer,” my tone set him in his place. 

--------------------

I sat, wrapping my hands with tape, preparing to start training again. This new body was about to be put to the test.

"Hail Hydra!" The familiar call echoing through the compound set my mind at ease.

We were strong, we were invincible. Cut off one head and two shall take its place. Nothing could be more comforting in this moment.

My Hydra.  

This was all I've known, all I've ever wanted to be a part of. As a child they took me in, trained me and made me everything I was before… before Barnes.

Fuck that guy!

He'd been a thorn in my side since he started training me. Never leaving me alone, always wanting more. The biggest accomplishment of my career was taking him out, even if it almost cost me everything.

Too bad I didn't do it sooner. 

We should've known Barnes would be the weak link when we made the move to capture Rogers, based on their past together. Failing his orders the first time he was sent to kill Captain America, he crumbled as soon as Rogers said his name. 

Already undercover in SHIELD, I was prepared to do what needed to be done the day Hydra attacked the Triskelion building in D.C. I got to Rogers first and the rest is history!

Helping to take down SHIELD was a badge of honor for me but bringing in Captain America as a trophy was… well… EPIC. 

I'd been given multiple promotions and FINALLY accepted into the Winter Soldier Program.

As the helicarriers did their job, taking out all threats to Hydra one by one, I was transformed into the best fighting weapon Hydra had. 

Then, after weeks of reprogramming, Rogers was released to my custody for training and conditioning, pushing Barnes to the curb.

We were an unstoppable team and soon became much more, to Barnes' disapproval.

That's when things went to complete shit.  

The first Winter Soldier turned on us, forcing our hand, but he knew what he was doing by making his choice to join SHIELD. 

We hunted him with relentless contempt and when I finally cornered him, I was alone. In my arrogance, I thought I could take him out myself, and I DID, but he almost took me with him. 

I hadn't felt ONE sliver of guilt then but now…  

As I thought back, my gut clenched, regret poured over me, an unfamiliar feeling. 

Was it because of this body?

I shook off the worry.

I’m not weak! I don't feel guilt!

I would have gladly died right there next to Barnes, knowing I'd taken out the worst traitor in our history but the Doctor had other plans for me. 

He'd been experimenting with cerebral programming on our prisoners' consciousnesses so with his research almost complete, he was able to save my mind in a data bank before the moment of death, until a host was found. 

I owed him everything. I owed HYDRA everything. 

I stood, proud and determined to start training again, and vowed to myself to use every ounce of power this new body had to fight for the cause!

And now, with the sudden appearance of these inter-dimensional portals, Hydra can expand exponentially! We can pull resources from other dimensions and the doctor even mentioned the possibility of finding The Red Skull!

Hail Hydra!

--------------------

"You took it too easy on me," I snarled at Steve as I slammed my bloody uniform to the corner of our bathroom and stepped into the bathtub.

"No, I actually didn't," he mumbled as he took off his clothes, causing me to shy away for some reason, then got in and sat behind me. "Let me see your hand." 

Holding it behind my head for him, he gently cleaned the blood from my knuckles. 

Having him close now felt awkward, unnatural, and being naked together almost made me cringe. 

I hated this. 

"What is it? " he asked, sensing my insecurity.

"I don't know. Nothing," not wanting to alarm him, I tried to relax my back against his chest but I knew the reason.

This body wasn't MINE and I felt like it was screaming at me to get away from him. 

Would I ever be NORMAL again?Doubt it…

As soon as I was clean I didn't waste any time getting out and wrapping a towel around myself. 

He stayed back, resting his head, lazily looking me over, as I stood staring at this foreign body in the mirror. 

They were my eyes, my face, but also so different.

"These scars… she must have had a really hard life," I traced my fingers down the blue half-meter long mark that ran down the center of her chest. "Jesus, would you look at this thing…"

"I am," he hummed.

He had come up behind me, still dripping wet, hard as a rock, and held me from behind. Pulling me against his erection and cupping my breasts, he tried kissing my neck but the long hair was in the way.

"This has GOT to go,'' he huffed as he moved it aside.

"I kind of like it." 

"It's a liability."

Knowing he was right and needing an excuse to end this intimacy, I shooed him out the door with a shy smile, then closed it behind him.

"I'll be out in a minute," I called through the door.

I worked at cutting off the mop and when it was short enough I shaved the sides down, leaving just enough length in the center to braid it. 

Seeing myself as I was before helped.

I left the mess and went to sit on the floor at Steve's feet, handing him a comb. 

"Braid me," I chuckled as he got to work.

---------------------

Chapter 4

---------------------

-----The Hydra Dimension-----

------Bucky------

“So the minion’s information was solid... hu,” scratching my head in disbelief, I scoped out the complex.

“I told you he wasn’t lying,” Loki scowled at my mistrust as I rolled my eyes. 

Having to work side-by-side with him again was getting old but at least this time we were mostly cool with each other. It helped as we navigated this nightmarish world of Hydra. 

The instant we stepped foot into this dimension we were surrounded by chaos, war, and pure anarchy. 

Knowing we entered at the outskirts of a major city, I wasn't even able to determine which one it was. We were in France, I could tell that much, but the whole countryside was in ruins, utterly devastated by battle or fire. We’d only managed to come across one street sign that wasn’t shot through or destroyed.

Almost as if they were trying to erase any characteristics of each village, buildings had been torn down to studs. Most likely the plan was to rebuild in Hydra's image but, knowing the ebb and flow of war, these places would just be left to crumble into dust. The families, forced to head to the city for resources and protection, would have inevitably surrendered all their freedoms and free-will to Hydra for a loaf of bread.

The master plan had been released into this world as if nothing SHIELD or the Avengers did made a lick of difference. 

They had failed here. And in this world, Steve Rogers was on Hydra’s side.

As we made our way through the destruction, Loki was able to capture a scout, and through whatever method necessary, got the location of Hydra’s base out of him. 

“Look...” Loki pointed out past the bridge we’d taken cover behind, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

Just across the river from us was the entrance but that wasn’t what caught his attention. I saw them too. 

Hung on either side of the main gate were banners with the pictures of two soldiers. ‘Hydra’s Finest’ they read in Russian. 

My brain was slow to process what the hell I was seeing as I stared at them, mouth agape.

“Steve… and… MARINA! How… what the shit is goin' on with his fucking place?!” I growled quietly, turning and sliding my back down the concrete wall. Loki followed suit.

Hitting my head against it was all I could do to keep my mind from falling apart.

“We need to get in there,” he whispered, and looked at me with a crazy grin. “I have a plan.”

“What?” I grumbled knowing his idea would be horrible. 

--------------------

It was definitely one of the worst plans I’d ever gone along with but we had no other options. A smash and grab was out of the question. His magic would at least be something they wouldn’t have planned for, at least I hoped.

“This is so weird!” I groaned as I pulled at the crotch of the uniform. “You could have at least made it comfortable.”

“Really, you're complaining! I just fully transformed you into a completely different person! Ungrateful…” 

“SHHH!” interrupting him, I covered his mouth as we froze waiting for a platoon to march past us. “This isn’t gonna work. There are code words, protocol, I have no clue what they’re gonna require for us to get in there.”

“Well, we need to try. If they detect us…”

“Can you turn us into rocks or something?” 

“No, you fool. I can NOT turn us into rocks. They're too small,” he paused to think.

Really, I was just fucking with him. 

“Alright, let's stop wasting time. Grab that crate. If anything, Hydra loves grunts.”

“Peasants…” Loki grumbled under his breath as we carried weapons through the gate towards the most promising looking building. 

I took in the flow of soldiers, watching their movement and rhythm. Listening to commands and responses given, I read the structure of this organization. As similar as it was to our Hydra, it was also just as different. 

Making it inside the hangar without an issue, we set the crate down and walked with confidence to the back door. It seemed to lead to another complex of buildings and I hoped there was access to any prisons or labs through it. 

Walking past two other soldiers, I caught a piece of their conversation. Stopping Loki so we could listen, I pulled us behind a shelving unit.

“Did you hear she’s back! Agent Coal was brought back!” one man cheered as the other said Hydra was unstoppable again.

Loki mouthed a ‘what the fuck’ to me as I was knocked in the gut by the pure insanity of what was unraveling.

She was brought BACK? Like she was gone?  

It took everything in me to not lash out at the men for answers.

Loki held my arm as if to know what I was thinking, then nodded to the door, sternly. 

I took a breath and continued. Not surprisingly, it was locked so we waited. 

Fuck, this is bad. 

Standing at attention until someone came through was tortuous. I was trapped in my thoughts as scenarios of what happened to her played through my head. 

Eventually a soldier stepped out, I was caught off guard but saluted as fast as I was able. Loki mimicked me.

“HAIL HYDRA!”

As the man went by I stopped the door with my foot and we slid inside.

Walking the halls, this place brought out memories of my deepest nightmares as we passed propaganda posters, deteriorating rooms, neglected technology, rot, and stench. 

Further into the compound, we stopped at the intersection of two corridors, coming face to face with THEM again. On the wall in front of us hung two portraits and below each, a plaque describing Steve and Marina’s careers. 

I read them out loud to Loki, barely able to choke out the words. 

“Agent Coal - Hydra’s Finest.”

“Infiltrated SHIELD and was a key player in its destruction. Her finest accomplishment, Capturing Steve Rogers and turning him to the cause. Followed closely by her own sacrifice as she assassinated the highest traitor, James Buchanan Barnes.” 

“Act as she would have in the line of duty, placing the cause before yourself.”

“Hail Hydra.”

“Dates at the bottom read 1984-2021.”

“She died here… in this world... and that soldier said she was BACK? No…NO! That’s OUR MARINA! They took OUR MARINA!” I punched the wall next to me, hanging my head. I needed to kill. 

“What do you think they are going to do?” 

“I don't know… but we need to find her NOW!”

Steve’s wasn’t much better, listing several Avengers he was credited with killing. 

“Could this get any worse… this place is Hell…”

“Oh but you have yet to see a true Hell, Barnes,” Loki’s gruff voice and dark stare sent shivers down my spine. His emerald eyes burned red with furious resolve. “I will turn this world to ash…

---------------------

Chapter 5

---------------------

-----Agent Coal-----

“I need to get better control over this body,” I admitted reluctantly to Steve as we continued down the corridor to the training area once more. 

Our daily routine was essential to keeping us a well oiled machine for the cause but the last few sessions I’d felt... off.

“You will.'' 

His confidence in me always spurred me on but this was different. 

Was I actually feeling fear? No, that’s impossible! 

I pushed down the thought as usual. 

“I know what you need,” he grinned and turned down a different hallway, breaking routine. 

He stopped at the display, hands on his hips proudly.

“It’s been a while since I’ve looked at our trophies. I have to admit... yours is the best,” he chuckled. 

Fury’s Eyepatch, blood still crusted over it.

Widow’s Bite, cracked and useless. 

Ironman’s helmet, crushed and burnt.

Looking them over I felt my stomach turn, my throat tightened as I swallowed hard. 

What is this? Why...

There was a flash of silver that drew me down to the end of the display, taking my mind off my nausea.

His metal arm, with dried and rotted flesh still attached to the joint, was the final prize. 

MY prize. 

I should have felt proud, happy, but I didn’t. I was sick. 

“Let's go,” I growled, wanting this to end.

---------Mar---------

I knew what had happened. Mentally I was okay, I was conscious of myself but blind to the world, and cut off from my body. 

I knew they put someone else in my head and that the real reason they brought me here to their parallel dimension was to resurrect this evil version of me.

I sensed her presence and could feel her emotions. This person was murderous and unstable. Maybe she reacted poorly to the serum, like the other soldiers that were created after Bucky, or maybe she was just psychotic.

Day after day, I waited and kept my mind alert for anything in the dark.

--------------------

A pinhole. 

It was clear and bright in the blackness. I hoped it was all I needed to be able to work at freeing myself and it could be my only shot. I could see their world through her eyes, could hear muffled words through her ears but soon I realized I didn’t want to. 

The horrors of this world poured in, one after the other.

She was with him, this corrupted, brainwashed Steven Rogers. Here he held the title of Captain Hydra. They were in a twisted relationship they called love. I wanted this to end but knew I had to keep the window open. 

My body was a puppet as he touched me, kissed me. I vowed, in hate, to kill him as soon as I got the chance.

Disgust and shame poured out every time she looked at him. 

This other person seemed to react to my savage emotions. I could see it in her eyes when I’d catch them in her reflection. 

Maybe I DID have control… at least some amount. Is this how I win?

Every chance I got I threw a new emotion at her, fear, anxiety, self-doubt, all things I knew Hydra would have trained out of her. 

She was breaking, the pinhole was growing. 

I waited in her darkness for an opportunity to arise.

--------------------

He was dead, their version of Bucky, and she was the one who killed him. 

Through her eyes I saw the sick trophies they kept. This dystopian Hydra had won. They had destroyed the Avengers and SHIELD… and she… she killed him. 

The flesh still clung to his metal arm. 

Bucky…

It's not him, I HAVE to remember... it's NOT HIM!

I was ready.

--------------------

I watched as they sparred, calculating a perfect moment, pulling up all my emotions. 

As his fist came towards her head she attempted to dip away and I struck hard.

Using my best weapon, I sent primal fear into her consciousness. Crippling her at the perfect moment, she stalled just long enough. Rogers’ fist made full contact, jarring her consciousness, and in that sliver of an instant I pulled myself through.

Hitting the wall first then the ground, the pain was beautiful, letting me know I was back in control. 

Licking the blood from my lip, savoring the taste, I stood. If the other person was still there, I couldn’t tell, so I needed to make this fast. 

“You need to be quicker than that!” he shouted from across the yard, frustrated.

“Oh… I will be," I growled under my breath, blood covered teeth clenched. He was about to find out just how fast I was. 

I flew at him, catching him in the chest with my knee, sending him to his back.

My blood pumped acid and hate as I brought my fist down on his jaw. 

Our eyes met and I could tell he knew, his expression darkening as he snarled.

“Not my Marina…" 

FUCK. That wasn't enough time...

He spat out the first word. “Vernal.”

“NO!” punching away at his face, I knew I needed to prevent him from saying the rest!

My rage blinded me from the fight as he brought his legs up, flipping me into the dirt. As he coughed out the second word, my head started to pound.

Does this mean he’s gonna be stronger and faster than me now?!

“Fuck you, Rogers, you’re dead!” I still attacked with everything in me but I was losing control of my body again. 

Catching me by the arm, he twisted and it snapped, the sound echoing off the concrete walls! I screamed out in pain, to his horror. 

He didn't want to do this! This was his Marina! 

Forget the damn arm!

“I’d rather die right here than let that monster out again!” I growled. “I’m going to MAKE you kill me, Rogers!” I spat blood into his face as he grabbed me by the neck.

“NO! GIVE HER BACK!” he was furious and menacing... but broken. "DON’T! Don't make me kill you! I wouldn't be able to live without you again!" his voice cracked with fear.

He slammed me to the ground, a crack of ribs sent blinding, white-hot pain shooting through my chest as I coughed out more blood than I should have. 

Slowly leaning down to me he continued, “Zero… Absence… Malice… ”

“Your Russian SUCKS by the way!” I jabbed, interrupting him, but the world started to fade away. “Fuck…”

“Coriander… Sundown… Frost.”

“You know… Bucky and I are in love. We’re a team, we’re inseparable… in my world… in THIS body… ” 

He snapped, tightening his fingers around my throat. 

He's going to fucking kill me for this…

“Giver her back to me....” he breathed, defeated. “Twenty-seven… Red.” 

Closing my eyes, I surrendered to it. 

-----Agent Coal-----

“Breathe, just breathe… it’ll be ok,” Steve’s words calmed me, helping me to push down the agony.

“What…”

“She got out,” he said simply, holding the ice pack to my head, his hand shaking, his eyes blood-shot. “It was… BAD.”

The Doctor rushed around to the other side, injecting me with something.

“Sleep for now. You’ll heal quickly.”

---------------------

Chapter 6

---------------------

------Loki------

“This worked beautifully,” I smiled. 

“If by BEAUTIFULLY you mean HORRIBLY, then yes, it worked BEAUTIFULLY,” Barnes' sarcasm was heavy.

“This is right where we need to be.”

“Locked in a JAIL CELL!? Please, enlighten me…” he huffed.

“With one move we have ruled out that she was imprisoned.” 

How he could not see this as an advantage was beyond me. 

“Did you get us captured on PURPOSE?!”

I could only chuckle at him.

“You’re an idiot,” he sneered. 

“Just wait…” I urged. Still in disguise, we sat holding out for the guards to come in. 

Surprisingly the cells were bare, not one other soul was being held and Marina was DEFINITELY not here. 

The rusted, decaying door squealed open as five armed guards entered. 

“Let’s go,” they ordered and we followed, keeping up our charade.

We were led outside to a courtyard, surrounded by ten meter high, stone walls. 

“This isn't good,” Barnes growled as he looked around. 

“Seems we still have the advantage… an ace up our sleeve. Isn't that the Midgard saying?” 

He rolled his eyes at me as they stood us at the far end, turning us to face the door. 

Interesting. I wonder what their plan is.

“Shit…” he groaned as a highly decorated Colonel entered.

“The punishment for disobeying orders is death!” he shouted a command and I realized this WAS bad.

As he left, the other soldiers placed bags over our heads. 

Laughing, I apologized to Barnes.

“Damn it, LOKI!” he was furious but I thought it humorous. 

“No wonder the cells were empty… they just KILL everyone. Kind of brilliant if you think about it... efficient.”

“SHUT UP, PRISONER!” 

The guard hit me in the gut with his rifle stock to no effect.

“Owch,” I feigned.

“Seriously, what do we do?” he asked, getting nervous. “Can you make us bullet proof?'' he whispered.

Laughing, I contemplated trying but was interrupted by a commotion.

“Leave, and seal the door behind you, soldier,” Rodgers’ voice, unmistakable, echoed against the walls. “And whatever you hear, do NOT open them.”

“HOLD…” I ordered Barnes, feeling the rage building in him. 

“Take their hoods off. I want to look into the eyes of these traitors as the life leaves them,” Marina’s voice rang out, cold, angry, and beautiful, setting my heart on fire. 

SHE WAS HERE!

Reaching out to her in my mind she seemed… off… 

This wasn’t her…

My thoughts raced with the possible reasons she felt different to me.

“HOLD BARNES! Don’t expose us yet!” ordering him as quietly as I could. 

This is madness! 

Rogers stomped up to us, ripping the bags from our heads. All they saw were two generic soldier boys, miniscule and unthreatening. 

“See, this worked beautifully. We found her,” I smirked at Barnes, trying to lighten the mood and failing. His eyes were locked on hers.

Could he tell there was something wrong too? What did these people do to her?

Returning to her side, Rodgers kissed her deeply as she returned the passion. 

“What the fu…” Barnes growled and started to move. I reached out my arm, stopping him.

“Wait…” I whispered. “Something is VERY wrong here…” 

He looked over to me for answers. I had none. 

“You need this,” Rogers murmured into Marina's neck as he held her chin gently. “It’ll make you stronger, I promise.” 

I snapped… 

This man is dead!

Knowing Barnes couldn’t take him, I went for Rogers and the oaf just stood there, unconcerned I was approaching. Good, I laughed to myself.

“WHAT do you think YOU’RE gonna…” the air left his lungs as I sent him flying, interrupting his sentence. 

Before Marina could act, Bucky had her in his grasp.

“Imposters! Avengers?” Marina yelled into his face. 

“Not quite,” I smiled, returning to my Asgardian form and Godly armor, then released the spell from Barnes.

The look of confused surprise on their faces was almost worth all this hassle! 

“As you did, Rogers, we crossed the multiverse for her!” grinning madly, I lifted him to his feet with one arm. 

“STEVE!” 

Marina cried out in terror and tears flooded her eyes. She tried struggling against Barnes but was overcome with fear. 

Suddenly her demeanor changed as she looked at Bucky.

“Is that you? Is it really YOU?” she breathed heavily, smiling at him. “I missed you so much! Help me!”

“Don't do it! Don't let her go!” I screamed in vain as Barnes had already fallen for her simple trick. “IDIOT!” I snarled. 

In an instant she escaped his grasp, turning as she flipped him to the ground.

“FOOL!” I shouted again. “You're a shit partner…”

Rogers took advantage of the distraction and ripped free. As he rolled away from me he armed himself with a strange weapon and stood.

Blue light pulsed along the top rail and while I studied it, he fired. 

Tesseract Energy! It was unmistakable… and powerful!

Nearly hitting his mark, he was unprepared for my speed. 

Barnes continued his fight with Marina as I tried ending mine with Rogers as quickly as possible. Blasting him with my magic, he hit the ground, rolling to a stop against the far wall. 

Turning, I rushed to help Barnes, he was on his back as Marina held a blade to his throat. 

“I killed you once! I'll be happy to do it again!” with a roar, she lashed out, but I reached her in time. 

Holding my hands to her head I entered her mind, but this consciousness… it wasn’t our Marina's! 

“What is going on!?” Bucky stared up at me as he struggled to breathe.

I held fast and as she fought me, I dug deeper. 

------Mar------

A familiar green light found me, held me, and pulled me forward while pushing the other mind down. 

Loki…

My hands were mine again, my legs, my arms. I waited for my eyes but I could hear them. I felt someone under me gasping for air and smelled blood.

My vision faded in and I was face to face with Bucky, he was the one under me, and beaten bloody. 

“No… what did I do... What did SHE do?!”

Reaching up, he held my face. 

“Are you ok!” he asked with strained breath.

“ARE YOU?” I sat off him, and started to panic. 

Looking around to get my bearings I saw Loki, kneeling next to us.

“Loki…” I reached out to touch his arm as if expecting an illusion. 

“We’re here, my love,” he whispered and held my hand.

“Vernal…” Steve moaned from the corner, slowly raising the rifle, his eyes mad with hate. 

“No!” I grabbed my head to shut him out.

“TWISTED!” he yelled with everything he had. 

“SHUT UP!!” 

Enraged, I ran at him, ripping the weapon from his grasp. 

As if in slow motion, I turned it to myself, watching the utter horror in his eyes, and pulled the trigger. 

If the other Marina and I shared ONE thing it would be the satisfaction of winning. 

-----Bucky-----

“This crazy-ass woman is gonna be the death of me.”

“Us…” Loki corrected.

I watched from my back as she turned the rifle to herself, knowing what would happen.

Steve, on the other hand, nearly died from the shock of it. 

“Just another day with Marina,” I half laughed, half groaned to Loki.

He smiled back, knowing this was about to be over for good.

She rose to her feet, seconds after the blast. Steve’s traumatized look made this totally worthwhile.

“Hydra is soon to be no more…” Loki growled as he helped me to my feet, holding me steady.

“She’s gonna kill them all…” I huffed, wanting her to but knowing it wasn't the right thing to do. “We need to stop her, don’t we?”

“Ah… just wait here a moment, Barnes.” 

He approached her slowly, arms outstretched as if she was a threat to him. 

What the fuck is he doing… 

He chuckled as the Stones appeared in the air between them. 

Oh shit…

“LOKI! What the fuck! You brought THEM here!?!? What the fuck were you thinking!?! I should kick your ass right now! WHAT IF HYDRA GOT THEM!” she was fuming!

Now I knew why he approached her the way he did. He expected her to kick his ass and I waited for it. 

That would be a fun ending.

“This will hurt…” he slammed his fist into her chest as she braced herself against his shoulders.

“Jesus Christ! Marina!” Rogers roared out, clawing at the ground, he tried desperately to reach her. 

He was unaware of the significance of what was happening right in front of him. I looked away, knowing she would be fine but still unable to handle the sight myself. 

“This is no longer YOUR Marina! This is OUR MARINA!” Loki hissed, kicking him to his back.

Steve clenched at his chest, and the familiar look of heart break struck his face. 

I felt bad for him for a second until I forced myself to shake it off, remembering what he’d done. 

That also wasn't OUR Steve.

-----Mar-----

I felt the power growing, surging through my body. 

Finding the other Marina still in my mind, I snuffed her out like a flame, ending this for good. 

"She's gone…" I turned to Steve, watching the man break in front of us.

Relief washed over me as I looked up to the sky. It had started to rain. The water trickled down as if cleansing my soul, I hoped it would wash away the trauma they'd caused me. It needed to stay here, in this world. 

Bucky walked up beside me, wet and bleeding. Resting my forehead to his, I closed my eyes and healed him.

"Thank you," he hummed, then lifted my chin to kiss me softly. “We really gotta stop trying to get ourselves killed.” 

“Yeah… this time totally sucked…” I laughed, trying to hide everything that poured over me. Fear, panic, hate, the loss of myself…AGAIN! It was too much. 

If they hadn’t come here…  

As I stared up into his eyes, I lost control.

Falling into him, I broke down, I couldn't stop it. Every breath heaved out. He held my head to his chest, kissed the top of it and rubbed my back in slow circles. After a few moments I calmed. 

"Sorry," I mumbled, wiping the tears and stepping away from Bucky, embarrassed for showing them both this side of me right after having been the biggest bad-ass they'd seen. 

"Don't be," Loki laughed. 

"Are YOU okay?" I asked, concerned about him as well.

"Not a scratch," he winked.

"So now what?" I wondered, looking around at the courtyard. "Do we go back?" 

"You could take them all out..." Bucky scratched his head, like he was unsure he should have suggested it.

"Mass homicide really isn't my thing anymore," I squinted at Rogers, still on the ground as I thought about blowing this whole place to hell. 

"This Hydra is crumbling. From what I can tell it's only a matter of time before they disintegrate. There was something though…" I thought back to what I was able to see through the other Marina. "There was something about portals, using them to steal resources, expand their reach, and to use them to find The Red Skull, Bucky. Hydra's plan was to bring him back to restore ultimate power."

"Voormeer..." Bucky trailed off.

"Who?" Loki squinted.

"No, where. That's where he was. If they can open a portal there… Fuck. I think we need to go back so Strange can fix this for good," Bucky scowled.

"What are you talking about? Strange, what does he have to do with this?" I was confused to say the least.

"We'll explain later," Bucky laughed and pulled something out of his pocket. "So how does this thing work, Siegfried and Roy?" 

"Hand it over." Loki ordered, rolling his eyes.

Bucky did but simultaneously grabbed Loki's arm. 

"No bullshit, Loki," he glared at the man.

"Promise," he smirked back.

"Really?" I shook my head, rolling my eyes.

He placed the coin on the ground, waved his arms, then stepped back as a small gateway opened above it.

"It worked," he cheered, happily surprised. "Go! quickly!"

He ushered me through first. As I stepped onto the beach the glare of the sun on the sand blinded me but it was the sweetest thing I'd ever seen. 

He followed behind.

"Loki…" I growled, praying he wasn't going to leave Bucky stranded. My heart stopped until Barnes was on his way through. 

"Close it!" Bucky screamed, suddenly panic stricken.

A flash of blue flew out from the opening. In an instant Loki blocked the blast from hitting Bucky and he fell into the sand.

"No!" I yelled out and ran to them.

Before I reached him, Rogers grabbed Bucky by the waist and began pulling him back into that hell as the opening started to shut. 

Fear slowed my movement as if in a nightmare. I reached and reached with everything. Loki had him before I did. There was no time to push Rogers off so we pulled.

They both came through, Steve's feet clearing the void the instant it evaporated.

Landing on top of me, his eyes met mine. 

"I can't let them have you…" he hummed, then pulled a knife to my neck. 

As he sliced, the only thing I felt was pity. 

He watched in shock as the blade, never making a mark, disappeared in his hand.

"What are you!?" 

"I'm a God…" I smiled as Bucky ripped him off. 

"Let's go, pal."

"HAIL HYDRA!" pulling a grenade pin he attempted to take his OWN life this time.

"Nope, you're not dying today either, Rogers," I leaned over him as I simply made that disappear as well.

"How…" his head dropped. He had nothing left.

"Finished!?" Loki groaned, asking just to be sure.

---------------------

Chapter 7

---------------------

-------The Beach House-------

"Your history together is vast and ours doesn't compare." Loki hung his head, defeated. "She SHOULD be yours…"

His voice faded away as he left.

But Bucky followed...

They'd both left me. 

Alone in the room, the only sound, my heart pounding in my ears. Uneven breaths lurched out. As I fell to my knees I dug my fingers into my legs, craving physical pain over this… this desperation.

They were gone, both gone. I'd lost them… 

I’d been selfish, and ridiculous, and stupid, and heartless, and horrible, and flawed, and unlovable… and a monster.

Closing my eyes, I wanted the darkness to swallow me whole. I wished to drown in it! 

One. Two. Three… 

I counted the droplets that fell onto my arm until I lost track. Letting the river wind down through my fingers, I watched them disappear into the rug below me.

What should I do… 

"No… stay with me… please…" the slightest sounds of words spilled from my shaking lips, out into the emptiness.

From the haze, two hands, one warm one cold, gripped my arms and pulled me up.

So lost in heartache, I didn't care who or what was carrying me off. Let them…

The warm hand gently but firmly lifted my chin as lips kissed the tears below my eyes. Kissed my cheek. Kissed my lips. 

Keeping my eyes locked closed, I feared this wasn't real, that it could end at any moment as if an evil manipulation from my subconscious.

"We're here. We're still both here," he whispered. "For you… always," his smokey tone soothed my soul. His scent of gunpowder and cedar lingered as he stepped away.

Long, cool arms wrapped around me as another tucked my head below their chin and brought me close to their chest.

"No one is leaving you, my love," his melodic voice sealed the cracks in my heart. His scent of leather and spruce enveloped my senses.

Drawing out a long deep breath, it was too late to stop this. I unraveled, sobbing into his chest like a fool.

--------------------

"I'm sorry, Mar. I'm so sorry. I jinxed our peace and quiet," Bucky’s sleepy mumble woke me.

Feeling overwhelmed from its realism, I tried to let go of the dream I was just pulled from. Covering my face so he wouldn't notice I’d been crying, he continued his thought.

"The day Hydra came, I said I couldn't do nothing. Basically said I NEEDED to fight to be happy. Then all that shit happened..." 

He brought me close and buried his face in my neck. Breathing him in, I was beyond grateful to have him next to me and I knew he felt the same without him having to say it.

After my kidnapping I didn't want to be alone. I couldn't be alone, honestly. They'd taken turns staying by my side while I slept, recovering my mental strength.

“We’re magnets for chaos,'' I smiled as he lifted his head.

“What’s wrong?” he’d noticed my tears.

Damn it.

“Nothing. Just a dream… it’s nothing…” I lied over the fading pressure it left in my chest. "Anyway, can you finally relax… PLEASE!" I rolled on top of him and tucked the blankets under his sides mockingly tight as he chuckled.

"There… now RELAX!" I laughed, getting out of bed.

In the kitchen, Loki offered me my tea and I nodded a thank you. 

"You might want to change into something um… a bit more appropriate, my love," he smiled. He looked me up and down as I stood there in my underwear, then cleared his throat. "We have a guest."

"Who? I didn't… STRANGE!" I jumped, clothing myself in a flash.

He popped to his feet from behind me, red in the face, covering his eyes, and rushed out the door. “Let’s talk outside!” 

--------------------

"They’ve sealed all the openings, so that’s done. And Rogers is safe in Wakanda with Shuri. I asked if we could go there to help out but he didn't think it was a good idea," I updated them as I walked into the beach house after talking to Strange.

"Why not?!" Bucky groaned, sitting on the couch, seeming to pout.

"Cause it wouldn't be good for him to see you… for a while at least."

He looked out the door for Strange but he was gone.

"I know," I sat beside him, resting my head on his shoulder as I rubbed his thigh. "I'm sorry. You know he's in good hands now… if there's any chance for him to come out of this it's with them," I smiled, remembering our time there. 

Loki came over and sat on my other side as Bucky eyed him.

"So… then I suppose I should be going back to Asgard…" he frowned, looking into my eyes, lost. 

I don't want him to go but could I tell him that? Could I ask him to stay not knowing how Bucky felt? We never discussed… we just… he can't go…  

My thoughts stuttered through my head; I fumbled with how to answer. 

"Loki… stay," Bucky's command took us both totally by surprise.

Sitting up, I waited for him to say HE would leave instead, readying my argument, but he didn't! 

My heart pounded at the possibility… I waited longer.

Loki just stared. 

Was he waiting for the same thing?

"Seriously, I want you to."

Our jaws hit the floor simultaneously and Bucky smiled shyly from the corner of his mouth.

"Why, you deviant…" Loki snarked.

I was speechless. 

Would this work? Would they kill each other eventually?

"Are you sure," I whispered. He simply nodded yes and smiled again. 

"I know you love me and I know you love him… I couldn't take that from you. And I also know you won't hurt me. I trust you with my life… and my heart." 

His cheeks flushed and I knew voicing that in front of Loki was probably one of the hardest things he's had to do. 

My eyes burned as I processed what this meant, blinking down the tears. 

This man… this man was perfect.

He held my hand as I squeezed down on his leg, trying to regain my composure.

Loki took my other and kissed the back of it softly.

--------------------

This was new… different, and like nothing I've ever experienced. To make it more unbelievable, BUCKY had been the one to suggest it!

Two accepting lovers framed me, and as I laid on my back between them, they slept. Still unable to believe this was real, I closed my eyes, listening to their breath.

Loki’s sleepy hand came up and held my breast, as he let out a sweet groan. Reluctantly, I slid it down to my waist. 

One step at a time. We needed to take this as slowly as possible.  

I smiled to myself and let the peace roll over me, absorbing every second knowing with our unpredictable lives it wouldn’t last for long.

--------------------

Bucky’s nightmare startled me from my thoughts.

Brushing Loki’s hand away from my breast AGAIN, I rolled over to hold Bucky.

“It’s ok, I’m right here,” I hummed into the back of his neck.

His shaking calmed as he blinked awake with a heavy sigh.

“It was Steve,” he wiped his face as if to try to forget.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I asked quietly, hoping to not disturb the God of Mischief.

He sat up, swinging his legs to the floor and held his head in his hands. 

This one was bad, I realized, as I started rubbing his back in slow circles, hoping it helped at least a little.

“He’s alone now… stuck in this foreign world,” his voice was raw and cracked with sadness. “I’d ALWAYS watched over him, since we were kids… I let him down in OUR reality and THAT ONE TOO! How many realities are there!? Did I let him down in every one…” there was a hitch in his breath he tried to hide but he continued. “Growing up he was so helpless, like a lost puppy,” he chuckled at the memory.

“Like a puppy you fucked?” Loki chimed in, now awake and propped up on one elbow, looking over my shoulder. 

Swiftly elbowing him in the rib, he huffed at me as Bucky turned to glare down at him.

“It was different back then,” he groaned.

“But you wanted to…” he snickered, reading into it. 

“STOP IT, LOKI!” I growled and swatted him.

If it was true or not, we didn’t get to hear the rest. 

“Let’s go then! Let’s go to Wakanda,” I suggested, simply. 

“Really?” Buck smiled.

“Yeah. Fuck what Strange said! Now it’s time WE helped YOU. We’ll go tomorrow.”

God, I need him to be happy! 

His smile was one of my favorite things in the world and seeing it now made me disregard all the negative thoughts I had about being around Rogers again. 

Loki rolled to his back, frustrated. “FINE.”

“Now come lay down, Loki is making me cold.”

“I am not!” he laughed. 

 I eyed Bucky, flirtatiously. As he cuddled up to the front of me, Loki inched closer behind.

--------------------

Standing with Loki at the kitchen island, after leaving sleeping Bucky in bed, I spilled out what I’d been thinking over and over as I laid in the bed with them, unable to sleep.

“I never expected this… that I'd be able to feel this way,” I smiled.

“Beautiful, isn't it, to free our hearts.” 

“I think we need to slow it down though, for his sake,” I gestured towards the bedroom.

Suddenly he walked out, sleepily running his metal fingers through his hair, topless and in gray sweats. 

I bit my lip at the sight of him standing there, innocently, not realizing how god-damned sexy he was.

Taking a deep breath, I leaned into the counter, trying to calm myself before they noticed.

“I see now why you've chosen to keep the soldier around for this… length … of time,” Loki raised an eyebrow as he looked him over as well, eyes stopping at his package.

Bucky's face flushed adorably. He moved to hide behind the counter across from me. As he took a seat he cleared his throat.

“So, what were you guys talkin’ about? Hopefully not me…” he asked with his deep morning voice that was absolutely irresistible.

“Well actually yes, we were. Marina thinks we need to take this slow, for your sake.” Loki spilled.

I huffed at him for outing me.

“Why?” Bucky asked, now looking frustrated. 

“I just don't want this to go too far… if you don't want it to. It's so… unconventional…” I walked over to him, stood between his legs, and rested my hand on his chest.

“I’m happy. I'm really happy, Mar,” smiling, he leaned in and kissed me softly.

“Me too,” I hummed between our lips. 

Loki stepped up behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist. Brushing my hair aside, he whispered into my neck.

“Then that settles it,” I felt the words as his lips grazed my skin.

Pressed between them again, I was losing my mind as the dirtiest carnal thoughts flashed through it. 

I don't think I’d ever been this aroused in my life. Was I ready for this? 

A tiny part of me was terrified.

“LOOK! It's time to go!” I interrupted, noticing the sun was rising. 

---------------------

Chapter 8

---------------------

-------Wakanda--------

"Don't overthink it," I smirked to Shuri as I walked up to hug her, both men following close behind me. 

"It's so good to see you again, Marina! And Sergeant Barnes, how have you been?"

"I am Loki of Asgard, Odinson, God of Mischief. You may have heard of me…" he smiled gladly, and bowed his head.

What a dork. 

I laughed to myself knowing he heard me.

"Anyway…" Shuri gestured to the giant doors that led to the citadel, ignoring Loki. "This way to Rogers."

"Again, I can't thank you enough for helping him, Shuri. What can I do to repay you?" Bucky asked, earnestly.

"Nothing… but there is something SHE can do…" 

Winking to me, she led us down the main hall towards the labs. 

It seemed so different here and familiar at the same time. Bucky held my hand suddenly as he looked around. He must have felt the same. 

Was something off?

"So what do you have in mind?" I asked, referring to what she wanted me to do.

Instead of heading to the lab, she turned in the opposite direction.

Curious, I followed.

We stepped out onto the grand veranda that overlooked the once prestigious savannah.

"What the hell happened?'' I gasped, shocked to see it desolate, bare, and lifeless. Random tents and technicians in protective gear dotted its plains. 

It once was a gem in Wakanda, beautiful and lush, filled with diversity; a paradise.

"Ever since the war with Thanos it has been lifeless, poisoned. We've been trying everything to cleanse and restore it but the alien substance they left behind is impossible to remove," crying dramatically, she looked to me for help.

I was shocked to see her this way. It wasn’t normal. She wasn't a crier, she was strong and resilient, facing her fears and enemies head on with fists clenched. Not able to put my finger on it, I still had a funny feeling about all of this. 

"I'll see what I can do," I smiled and vanished to explore the terrain, leaving the others to go on to see Rogers.

------Bucky------

As Mar went to help on the ground, Shuri continued on, bringing us to Steve's room. 

"He knows you are here to see him," she smiled at me but then turned to Loki. "Please, come with me."

I heard Loki grumble some snide remark as they turned the corner, out of sight. 

Standing at his door felt just like when I stood at Marina's, not knowing if the person on the other side was going to hug me or kill me. 

Fuck.

I knocked.

No answer.

“Steve? Are you there?” 

Of course he was…why would Shuri bring me here if he wasn’t… dumb question.

A commotion inside sounded as if furniture was being moved from in front of the door.

What the…

"Is it REALLY you, Buck!?" his voice sounded panicked but also more himself. 

“Umm yeah...” 

Why did he ask that? 

“What was my mother’s name?” he tested me.

“Sarah. Why? What’s going on, Steve?” I was getting really worried about all of this and suddenly regretted that Shuri split us all up.

Fuck.

The door flew open, Steve grabbed my shirt and pulled me inside, slamming the door again. He quickly worked at rebuilding the barricade in front of it.

It was great to see him, he looked better, healthy, himself. 

“What the fuck is going on?” 

Finishing stacking things, he turned and grabbed me by the shoulders. “It’s a TRAP!”

-------Mar-------

Cleaning the alien toxins from the soil wasn't difficult but had been tedious. It had worked its way deep into the soil.

I was exhausted by the time I'd removed it all. The sun was low in the sky and I desperately needed to rest.

Suddenly realizing I'd been hyper focused on this, I didn't even think about what was going on up there. 

Feeling through the structure that loomed over the savannah, I scanned for them. Finding Bucky first, I popped to his location.

------Bucky------

Steve flinched at the appearance of the blue cloud.

“THANK GOD! Mar…" I stood, grabbing her, as Steve sat, dumbfounded.

"Hey, I finished… oh fuck…" she gasped over to Steve. Neither was prepared to see the other so suddenly.

He looked sick as the blood left his face. His eyes burned red against the blue at their center.

"Mar…" he reached out for her but fell from the chair to the floor.

"Shit…" I groaned and slapped my hand to my face.

Mar ran to his side and we lifted his unconscious body onto the bed.

“Where's Loki?” 

“I thought he was with you!” she sounded irritated that I'd lost him.

“Well, we have a BIGGER problem!”

I went on to explain everything Steve had just told me, to her utter dismay.

“WHY does this keep happening?! I TOLD you we ALWAYS get caught up in this shit!" she huffed, saying exactly what I was thinking as she paced the floor.

“Alright, so we know this thing can’t be TOO much of a threat, RIGHT?” she asked, a hand over her mouth.

“Right. I mean it didn’t try to attack or hurt us,” I sat on the bed, looking over at Steve. “Should I shake him awake?” I had so many questions. 

She continued pacing, looking around the room, thinking.

“Shuri… is Shuri… she’s compromised too, isn't she?” panic rose in her tone. “Ohhh I KNEW something wasn't right! Fuck! What do we do?!”

“We’ll figure it out. We’ll help her as soon as we know what to do!” I reassured her the best I could. Her friend was in danger and I just hoped she didn’t overreact and cause MORE problems.

So far the only thing we knew was some sort of invasive hive-type alien fungus hitched a ride through space with Thanos’ army and had started attaching itself to the people here, controlling them like puppets.

Steve had been able to figure it all out somehow and was still free from its control, barricading himself inside his room.

I sat thinking this over. “He was able to keep people out of the room and stay safe…”

I rubbed my chin as Steve stirred. 

“Are YOU ok, Marina? You were out there in the field with this stuff.”

“Yeah, I mean, I was able to remove it. But that doesn't make sense either? Why would fake Shuri send me down there to do that if it was controlling her?”

“I don’t know,'' I groaned, my head pounding as I tried to think. 

“It was using you…” Steve moaned from the bed as he sat up. “The stuff in the field wasn’t the alien, it was the substance Wakanda sprayed to FIGHT OFF the infection. It was an antigen Shuri developed as soon as she figured out what was going on. It worked until she…” he trailed off, visibly upset. “Until the fungus… the controlled people… damn it, WHATEVER they’re called…”

“Zombies. We’ll go with that,” Marina snarked.

“Fine, the Zombies. It worked until the zombies destroyed the antigen and all her research in the lab. All that was left was in that field.” he sighed, holding the bridge of his nose.

“SHIT!” I growled, slapping my face, realizing Mar just DESTROYED the last of it unknowingly.

Marina squinted at him and walked over. 

He looked up at her as if seeing a ghost but smiled just the same. 

I would NOT want to be in his shoes right now, staring at my dead lover/captor/torturer’s doppelganger.

“But then I should be able to just reach out and remove it from them…” 

“NO! You CAN’T touch it! Even with your mind!” Steve yelled and jumped off the bed, furious at her suggestion. “The last thing Shuri told me before helping me hide was that it wasn’t only physical but mental.”

Green light flashed suddenly as Loki appeared out of another cloud. 

Steve flew in front of us, ready to fight him.

“OH SHIT!” Stuttering he pushed Steve aside, grabbed Mar by the shoulders, and shook her. 

“OH SHIT SHIT SHIT!” he repeated.

“WHAT!” we all yelled.

“ZOMBIES ARE AFTER ME!” 

“Stop!” Marina almost fell over laughing at him.

“This isn’t funny, woman!” he growled, downright panicked.

“Yes, it kind of is,” she held her hand over her mouth trying to keep it in. 

I rubbed my eyes, pretending she could actually take this seriously. Steve glanced between us all in utter bewilderment. 

“I know,” turning to him, I shook my head. At least now I had someone to share my frustration with. “These two…” I groaned. “Can we get the hell out of here now?!” I growled, rolling my eyes so hard they hurt.

Again, Steve had no idea what was about to happen. As we were engulfed in her blue cloud, we stepped out onto Asgard's Rainbow Bridge.

He fell to his knees, head down, dizzy from the first time traveling through the cosmos.

“It gets easier, pal,” I smiled, pulling him back to his feet. 

---------------------

Chapter 9

---------------------

------Asgard------

--------Mar--------

Just as I thought, we were able to find information on the zombie fungus in Asgard’s library. It was less of a fungus and more of a creature or entity that took over its hosts, unifying them as a hive mind. 

The ‘cure’ or ‘deterrent’ seemed to be some sort of potion, for lack of a better term. Searching Frigga’s study for the compounds we needed to create it, we’d found all but one. 

Loki couldn’t translate the last ingredient so we reached out to the Guardians for help.

“Hell yeah I’ll help you fight ZOMBIES! I’m so freakin’ sick of these guys!” was Rocket's response and they headed right over to pick us up.

Deciding it was best, Bucky was going to stay back with Rogers. Having just been thrown into all of this zombie shit on top of his ongoing therapy, AND on top of having just been pulled into a different universe, we didn’t know what to expect from him.

--------------------

“So apparently Loki is terrified of Zombies,” I laughed as I hugged Bucky goodbye.

“Why does that not surprise me one bit?” he chuckled. 

“You KNOW we can NEVER let this go!” I sneered, happy to have some ammo to torment him with on the ship.

“Stay safe, okay,” Bucky ordered, sternly.

“We'll be back with the last ingredient before you know it. Easy peasy.” I smiled, nuzzling against him.

"But you'll stay safe, right? Right, Marina? Mar?"

I laughed knowing we definitely wouldn't stay safe but smiled at him and nodded.

"Take care of the head case over there," I gestured to Steve who was staring out the window. As he looked over I saluted him, to Bucky's disapproval.

"Ready?" Loki popped in looking for me.

"I'm trusting you…" Bucky squinted at him but shook his hand. 

Progress.

--------------------

Rocket had landed the Benatar on the Rainbow Bridge and was waiting for us on the ramp as Loki and I walked up.

"MY FAVORITE FURRY!" I grabbed him in a hug and swung him around, surprisingly he didn't struggle much.

"Good to see you too!" he laughed.

The rest were all strapped in, ready to go.

"Where to!?" Quill asked, impatiently.

I turned to Loki for him to hand me the potion instructions then laid the ancient paper across the control panel.

"Here." 

"I don't know what that says," he snarked.

"How? Weren't you raised by aliens?" resting my hands on my hips, I squinted down at him. "Fuckin’ hell. The whole point…"

"I am Groot!" 

"SORRY… fuckin' heck," I corrected. "Wait, when did you all start worrying about language?" I groaned, thinking it was about to be a long, boring trip.

"I am Groot," he pointed behind me.

Turning, Steve and Bucky were standing there, packed and ready to go.

"Ahhh," looking away from them, I blinked hard in frustration. 

Damn it! I was really looking forward to NOT being around Rogers.

Loki put his hand on my shoulder knowing exactly how I felt.

"Ok so we don't have a plan, don't have a destination. What DO we have?" Rocket snarled.

"A million-year-old shopping list…" I winced. "This went a lot smoother in my head."

"Contraxia it is!" Quill shot.

"But why?!" Gamora moaned, rolling her eyes.

"Because they have the best translator, OF COURSE! Why else would you think we’d go there!?" he winked to Rocket who flashed a toothy grin.

Good lord.

--------------------

"Wait… who's missing?" glancing around the circle of idiots, I counted eight, including myself.

"We're missing…" Bucky paused, counting on his hand. "Three."

"Hey Drax!" I yelled out. "Seriously, come sit down! What the hell is he doing… YOU'RE NOT INVISIBLE!" rolling my eyes, I started to scan the ship.

"He's gone." Quill informed.

"What! Like GONE gone or just gone?" I asked him, hoping the second ‘gone’ was the answer.

"Gone. Not GONE gone."

"Gotcha." 

Looks of 'what the fuck' passed between Bucky and Steve.

"Side quest," Rocket huffed. "He took the other two. They're a thing now I guess. Freaking weird…” he mumbled under his breath.

"Oh… cool, I'm glad Nebula and Mantis could find happiness," I smiled.

Rocket laughed hysterically, slapping his little furry knee. "NO! Drax and Nebula!" coughing now from the hilarity, he literally keeled over.

"OHHHH WOW… what… why..." I was in shock to say the least. "Did anyone try to switch her off and on again? Like, unplug her for ten seconds and plug her back in?" 

"Have you tried that on yourself?" Gamora asked, matter-of-fact, defending her sister.

"Wowoooohhhh! As captain I order you to not take that shit, Marina!"

"Definitely a punch in the dick," Rocket laughed.

"Focus, damn it!" Bucky roared, fed up with our shit already.

"Okay, okay. Don’t lose an arm or anything," Quill stood, holding up his hands. "So the first thing when starting a new mission is to assign a team leader. We all know…”

"It's me."

"Not Quill!"

"Him!"

"NOPE!"

"Obviously me!"

"Totally not doing it."

"I am Groot."

"Which one is Quill?"

Everyone shouted their vote at the same time then continued arguing, debating each other's choices.

"You all sound like a pissed off herd of seagulls!"

"It's flock…"

"This is ridiculous, we're getting nowhere…"  I heard Loki mumble to no one. "STOP!" he screamed, shooting everyone into their seats with a blast of green telekinetic energy.

There was a confused silence as Rogers stood. 

"Look… I know you don't think you can trust me and I have no idea what's going on or who everyone is but…" Steve paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I've led men into battle almost more times than I can count. I always put them first… before the mission, before myself." 

Not even letting him finish, Rocket had to let out a comment.

"I think he's the best choice! Even with scrambled eggs for brains, he's got more smarts than all of yous combined," crossing his tiny arms, he huffed thinking his comment was made sarcastically but truthfully, he had a valid point. We all sucked. 

"And you're hired!" I stood to shake his hand before any more options were suggested. "DONE! GOOD LUCK!" I smirked at him, definitely sarcastically.

He scratched the back of his head and looked away, probably realizing he'd just made a huge mistake.

--------------------

After getting a crash course in outer space from Rocket, Steve actually had everything planned out well. 

We'd go to Contraxia, find someone to translate the last ingredient, go get what we needed from wherever, finish the potion on Asgard, then head back to Wakanda with it.

I knew Rogers was truly worried about them. He had talked to Bucky about how Shuri and her team worked so hard to get Hydra out of his head and that he was in the process of healing, almost back to normal, when she figured out what was happening. She had saved him twice, really, by telling him to hide before she was taken over.

"With our plan laid out and Steve Rogers, the Other-Dimension Captain America slash Recovering Brainwashed Hydra Agent helming the wheel, what could go wrong!" I joked, slapping his back in a really bad attempt to loosen him up as I sat down next to him.

He just sat, stone cold.

Now dubbed 'Most Boring Avenger' by the raccoon, he seemed a LITTLE stressed as we began to execute his plan.

I honestly didn't know WHAT to say to him or if he even wanted to talk to me at all and my attempt to break the ice was failing miserably.

"You can't do any worse than us!" I teased again. "Me and Bucky have the WORST track records… and those guys are so disorganized it hurts," I nodded over to Quill’s group. 

Steve smiled uncomfortably. I knew he was just being polite.

"And Loki… well you know how his plan worked out…"

Yikes, I shouldn't have brought that up.

Loki shot me a stern glare as I winced, covering my face.

"Sorry… um, I'll leave you alone."

"Wait…" he stopped me from leaving.

I sat back down, very interested in hearing what he was about to say.

"No. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I’M sorry," he blushed. "For everything I put you through. I knew you were in that body with her. I shouldn't have… pushed."

My cheeks flamed red as I remembered what had happened, the intimacy between him and the other Marina. 

"Ummmm…" I didn't know what to say. 

"It's ok, you don't have to forgive me. Shuri was helping me work through everything and I really wanted to get the chance to apologize earlier."

I looked down. 

DID I forgive him?  

I thought I left them behind in that world, but my anger and disgust were coming back.

"That's why I convinced Buck to let me come with… why I volunteered to lead this mission. I NEEDED to start to make up for what I’ve done."

Understanding the drive to do good after everything bad I'd done myself, I smiled over to him.

"I DO forgive you… I was in your shoes too. Hydra is the evil one. Not us."

Loki cleared his throat as he listened in, and raised an eyebrow at me. 

"Yeah, I know!" I huffed at him then continued. "I'd also made a lot of mistakes while free from them and know what it's like to make up for THOSE too," I explained to Steve.

"Nothing compares to HER though…" he sighed, chest heavy. 

"Yeah, I know… she was in MY head," I frowned.

She was a true monster. But he also forgave her. She was institutionalized with Hydra from such a young age and carried so much pain.

His eyes darkened as he went on. "When Hydra attacked SHIELD, as soon as I saw you.... I um her I mean, I'd forgotten how to fight, how to defend myself. I couldn't bring myself to raise a hand to her! It was like she instantly stole my soul. I don't remember much after that. She brought me to Hydra and together they made me what I was… that unforgivable devil, but I think I did love her." he admitted.

Looking into my eyes now, I felt his pain, and knew every time he looked at me he struggled.

"What if… nevermind," I looked away as a horrible idea came to mind.

I heard Loki giggle, knowing what I was thinking.

"What?" Steve asked, softly.

"What if… I BROKE UP with you?" I smiled. "It might give you closure, maybe help you move past this," I offered, shrugging my shoulders.

"I HAVE to see this," Loki spoke to me telepathically, making me jump out of my skin.

"DON'T DO THAT SHIT!" I scolded, scaring Steve out of his skin now. "Fuck, LOKI! Go away!" 

He sighed and reluctantly headed to the ship's bridge.

Steve still had a very funny look on his face.

"I'll explain later… anyway, what do you think?" I grinned.

“Worth a shot, I guess,” he smiled, finally.

Quickly thinking of what to say, I stood, put my hands on my hips and glared down at him.

"Steve, this is it! We're DONE! I DON'T love you! It was all a manipulation, orders from Hydra, from the moment we met! They MADE me say those things, MADE me sleep with you! I hated every second of it!" 

Did I go too far?  

Tears welled in his eyes. 

No, this needs to kill him inside. 

I continued.

"You're NOTHING TO ME!!"

"MARINA!" Bucky's voice, the most frightening thing I'd ever heard, blasted out from behind me and I hit the deck. 

"Fuck! It's not what you think!" I flinched, thinking he was going to come after me for this.

Steve stood quickly, stopping him. "She's just trying to help!" 

"What!?" Bucky groaned.

I could hear Loki's high-pitched laughter from above us.

"You're gonna get it!" I growled at him in my mind and he moaned back in approval. 

"Steve, this is goodbye, forever," looking back to him, I finished my breakup and went up to the bridge myself.

"Real smooth," Rocket laughed with Loki as I rolled my eyes. 

“Listen, what was I supposed to say?” I sighed.

“Um, how about let's see other people, it’s not you it’s me. You know, that kinda cliche shit,” he snarked.

“Thanks. Thanks for that sage advice, oh wise one,” I laughed. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" I repeated until Rocket threw a screwdriver at my head.

Satisfied I'd annoyed him enough, I left them as well.

-----Bucky-----

Shaking my head, I was still dumbfounded. 

Poor guy, I couldn't imagine her yelling at ME like that. We’d had some fights but, sheesh, that was brutal.

"Beer?" handing Steve some odd drink, I figured calling it a beer was the best thing with all the new shit he'd just been through.

"Thanks, pal," he took a swig and almost spit it out. "That's, well, interesting," he groaned, politely.

"No, it's awful. But it'll get you buzzed. Trust me." 

Sitting in silence, we drank 'em down, one after another. 

-----Loki------

As much as I LOVED good drunken revelry, this was just obnoxious.

"Marina! Help!" I cried out to her, wherever she was. "You need to come take care of these, these, MAN-CHILDREN!" 

"Fuck that!" she scowled, popping up behind me.

"You ain't gonna chastise her for cursing, Rogers?" Rocket jabbed.

"ARE YOU DRUNK?!" I scoffed at her, ignoring the others.

"NO." 

Her matter of fact tone didn't fool any one. She was completely inebriated.

“Why does everyone think I hate swearing?” Steve hiccupped, taking another swig of that vile liquid.

“Well…” she began to explain.

Not wanting to hear her dissertation about the OTHER Rogers, I took a deep breath, past frustrated to furious, scooped her up and carried her to our bed.

I'd wanted to sleep and, with our arrival only a day out, I knew she needed to rest as well.

"Shake it off," I huffed, wanting to enjoy a few moments alone, free from the drunken chaos that followed her.

"Hey Loki…" she grinned. A sly mischief sparked in her eyes as she crawled into the bed. 

In her head I'd assume she thought she was being erotic while she stumbled and stuttered some flirtatious thing, quite incoherently.

"Darling… good night!" I kissed her forehead and headed back to collect the other fool.

Barnes was much heavier as a drunk. Tossing him over my shoulder, he struggled against me, cursing and flailing, to no avail.

I dropped him to the bed, to the other side of the now sleeping woman, and with a grunt he rolled next to her. Pulling her close, he passed out within seconds.

"Finally!"

I took my place at the outside of the bed, preferred for the protective position it offered, and shut my eyes. 

--------------------

"ZOMBIES!!" her banshee scream shot through my head like lightning, flinging my limbs up and out of the bed before I even knew where the sound came from.

"WHERE!!!" turning in disorienting circles, I pulled my daggers into my fists.

She roared in hysterics from under the sheet; the bunk shook from Barnes' laughter.

"DAMN YOU BOTH!" 

I flew onto her, pinning her to the bed with the fabric. "I'll show you a zombie!" I snarled and started biting her neck.

"That's a vampire!" Barnes' was now out of control.

I punched him in the leg, changing his tune.

"Come on! That was great!" he chuckled.

Turning back to Marina, she was crying from laughter, and all I could do was smile down at her.

"Ass!" I huffed, and kissed her hard, hoping to have her forget the whole thing, but she pulled back.

Looking at her inquisitively, she slightly shook her head, no.

Was she still unsure of all this, having two men so near to her?

Her eyes turned to him and he smiled, nodding a slow approval.

My mind touched hers, ever so gently.

"See, my love, there is nothing to be afraid of."  

She brought her lips back to me. As I hummed for more, her eyes closed. Her hands, pulling free from the sheet, came up to caress my jaw.

Barnes pulled one away, bringing her wrist to his mouth, adorning it with kisses.

I felt her body tense under my weight, her back arched, setting me on fire. Pressing my hardness into her thigh, I showed her what she had done to me.

A squeak passed her lips as I groaned against her.

Will she let me go further?

Testing, I ran my hand under the sheet, finding her waistband, teasing the edge away from her skin.

She didn't stop me.

Sliding down her body, I trailed kisses to where my hand rested.

Leaning in, Barnes took over, keeping her lips occupied and her moans stifled.

As I moved to claim the prize between her legs, she stopped me once more, pulling my hand away and guiding me back up.

"I want this… but not here," panting with hunger, her frustration was incomparable to my own. 

Judging by Barnes' expression, I could tell he joined me in my pain.

"We understand," he hummed, as he ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her one last time.

"Damn this ship!" I growled into her chest. "When this is over I'll host us on Asgard, properly!"

As if on cue, Rocket announced we'd reached our destination. 

---------------------

Chapter 10

---------------------

------Contraxia--------

-----Mar-----

"This planet is gross," I huffed to Gamora. 

"I told you we should have stayed on the ship with Groot." 

"Yeah…" my disappointment bled out of me.

The moment we landed, Rocket and Quill had run off to go ‘do research’ or something.

By the time we caught up to them they were drunk and gambling at some ThunderDome looking cage, sending the three of us Hydra alumni into horrible flashbacks. To our relief, Gamora suggested we leave them there and keep on task.

Rogers led the way even though we could tell he was the most uncomfortable of the group.

“Captain America IN SPACE!” I joked. It did NOT help.

Drunks, hookers, drunk hookers, robot hookers, and drunk robot hookers lined the streets, soliciting us at every step.

Not the weirdest thing here though, no, that belonged to the ‘curiosity’ shops selling Gods-know-what. I avoided looking in because I knew I'd see something that would drive me to tear this place down.

"Another time…" Loki hummed and smiled, holding my hand.

"They said this place was fun…" I groaned as Steve stopped at a simple tea shop of sorts.

"There. That's the building where Rocket said we'd find the translator," he consulted his pad and stored it away.

"Don't touch anything," I mumbled to everyone as we walked in.

Dark and dank, it smelled like burnt toast and jet fuel.

"Him," Loki pointed, after scanning the booths that lined the walls.

He was staring at a very old being that looked like a human man. 

"Asgardian?" I asked him in my head.

"Yes… and VERY OLD!" he was happy to communicate with me telepathically.

"Let me speak to him," Loki insisted, pushing Steve aside. He approached casually so as to not scare the poor thing.

I listened to his conversation with the stranger through Loki's thoughts.

"This was great! He could read the language!" I cheered, updating the others as Loki gestured for us to join him.

He introduced me to the old man as the God of Power, Lady Marina. I bowed, not knowing what else to do, and also slightly embarrassed.

"Wow, I'm graced to be in the presence of ALL these Gods!" the old man groaned, sarcastically.

"No actually, WE are the only Gods," Loki gestured to me and held my hand. "That is our consort," he nodded to Bucky. "And the others are servants," he grinned. 

What?! 

Bucky smiled at the title… not denying it, not embarrassed.

What was happening!? Was he just going along with us or was he actually okay with it!? Ahhh! I hate not being able to read his mind.

"Like that?" Loki asked in my head as he glanced at me quickly.

I smiled like an idiot, not holding back my amusement.

Steve and Gamora were not excited to be called servants but played along for the sake of the mission.

"I'll need A LOT of credits for this ancient information," the man negotiated as everyone looked around in panic, knowing we didn't have any.

"I got this…" I cracked my knuckles out of habit and as a stack materialized in front of him, his eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"Ok, now tell us what this says," Steve handed him the tattered parchment and pointed to the last item.

"Oh… ah well… I'll need more than this…" he huffed, gesturing to the pile of credits then crossing his arms in defiance.

"Fine," I growled through gritted teeth at the old fucker and doubled the sum. "That's it!" I ordered, slamming my hand to the table, done with his shit.

"Let's see…" he smiled, changing his attitude.

He stood and walked over to a large screen on the wall. Holding up the paper to it, it instantly translated the words.

"Mother fucker…" I groaned, slapping my face. "Give me that!" I snatched the paper away and pushed him back to his seat.

Gamora copied the information as Rocket and Quill walked in.

"Oh! Great! You found the translator!" 

-------The Benatar-------

Back on the ship my mind wouldn't stop going over what Loki said. 

Does Bucky have a thing for Loki now and/or vice versa? Is he just happy with our roles? This is so confusing! He'd basically referred to Bucky as OUR HUSBAND! Maybe he doesn't know what consort meant!

I was so distracted I'd stopped paying attention to what the others were saying a while ago, most likely missing some very important information.

Eying Bucky from across the table, I tried to get his attention as he sat with the others planning our next move. The dark hair draping down his jawline only highlighted his pensive stare. He was either too deep into the conversation to notice or he was actively ignoring me.

"Where are you?" I called out to Loki in my mind. Maybe HE'D want to talk about this more.

"Resting. What is it, my love? Bored with this mission so soon?" 

I flashed away to our bunk. He was indeed resting, propped up on ALL of our pillows, reading something, as usual.

"What's this?" I crawled up to him, tilting the book down so I could see it.

"Poems," he smiled sweetly.

As he started reading one aloud, I snuggled up to his chest, pulled his free arm around my shoulder, and closed my eyes.

"Just beautiful," I smiled, glad once it was over because I just wanted to poke him about his comment. "So was that a joke earlier?" I knew he knew exactly what I was referring to.

"No." 

He went on to read the next poem without elaborating on my question.

FUCKIN’ HELL. I want to keep talking about this!

-----Bucky-----

"So, ready to go to ANOTHER alien planet?" I slapped Steve on the back after we'd left the table. "Don't worry man, these are all new to me too. Shit, if you'd told me in '43 we'd be traveling to space at 112 years old I would'a punched ya." 

He laughed at that but his smile faded; he was a mess.

"Wannna talk about it?" I offered.

"Not really," he shrugged but started to talk anyway.

"This is a lot to take in. I mean, I'd fought alongside Thor, knew Banner, saw aliens flying through a hole above New York because of a Loki… but not that one,” he shook his head and gestured to this Loki. “I could cope with all that but then there was HER. After that it was just death and destruction. I don't know how you did it… moved on after Hydra."

"I have HER," I smiled sadly knowing it would hurt him but it was the truth. 

"I thought…" he looked confusedly over towards the bunk area where they were laying together. 

"Don't overthink it," Rocket chuckled as he passed by.

"It's all good, man," I smirked, still intrigued by Loki’s comment earlier. 

I kinda have HIM too now, I guess.

"Okay," Steve smiled warmly and nodded, truly happy for me.

Our situation was kinda fucked up but amazing, and all mine.

“Look,” he continued. “I fucked up so bad in my world. I'm just truly grateful for this second chance.” 

He rested his hand on my shoulder and looked at me with so much pain behind his eyes. 

“I was in your shoes too, pal,” I shook my head at the thought. “But it gets better, trust me.”

He nodded again. Hopefully it helped him to hear it from someone like me.

“It’s good to have my friend back,” I smiled.

--------------------

"So… Thor said to go through the Devil's Anus… and BEFORE anyone asks or makes a stupid joke, yes, he was serious. That's what it's called. We need to find the entry point. It's the fastest way to Sakar," Rocket announced to the group.

"NO! THERE WILL BE NO DEVIL'S ANUS TRAVEL! MARINA!" Loki pulled her forward.

"PLEASE tell me that you can get us there without this anus nonsense!"

"I can… but… wouldn't you want to at least SEE it?" biting her lip, she worked the hardest I'd ever seen her to hold back her laughter.

"NO!" three people shouted at once as she lost it.

"Fine! No anus travel…" 

I loved her laugh and couldn't help chuckle at her. 

"Where did this whole idea come from anyway?" she asked, confused.

I explained that when she was off in la-la land, we'd been doing ACTUAL work, looking into finding the last item. 

First, we’d contacted Thor and asked if it could be found on Asgard, but he came up empty handed. However, he knew someone that would probably have it. 

Rocket and his group had encountered this guy before. The Collector, he was called, ironically, but they said his place had been destroyed by Thanos. They didn’t even know if he survived so Quill reached out to the other Ravagers. Turns out he was still alive and on another planet called Sakar. Apparently his brother ruled there as The Grandmaster, whatever the hell that means.

Thor, dead Loki, Valkyrie, and Banner had a run in with THAT guy as well, coincidently…on Sakar. 

“So we called up Thor again to ask him about it. We were planning the route there when he mentioned this anus business," I told her.

"Wow... okay…" she smiled blankly, more confused than I was the first time we went over everything.

Plus, I knew she didn't listen to the details. 

No patience, that one.

"Well, I just need to find it first and then I can get us there, no problem."

Rocket brought up some star chart and she studied it carefully.

Closing her eyes, she sat on the flight deck floor for what seemed like an hour scanning the cosmos with her mind. 

I knew what she was doing but I wasn't sure why it was taking so long.

"I think she fell asleep," Quill poked.

"Don't rush her. She's still searching," Loki tapped his head as if to know what she was thinking.

Rocket shrugged. "Well, let me know when she wakes up. I'll be down there drinking with the others."

They left me and Loki on the bridge, watching over Mar.

Without the distraction of the others and her in a meditative state, I suddenly felt extremely uneasy in his presence. With everything that was going on, we hadn't been alone together since Hydra world.

Sitting back in the Captain's chair, I rested my head and closed my eyes hoping to avoid any conversations or interaction.

I heard him turn and walk past me, probably headed to go by the others, but I was startled as his hands came down on my shoulders. My eyes shot open. He was standing behind the chair looking down on me.

“You’re always so damn tense. You need to relax.”

“I was trying...”

"Right,” he sneered, sarcastically. “Close your eyes," he commanded and started to knead my shoulders. 

What the fuck…  

I wanted to swat him away but couldn't. Despite how awkward this was, it felt good at the same time so I let him continue.

Closing my eyes again, I thought back through the past few weeks as his hands dug in. 

I'd wanted him to stay with us and they both agreed. We never spoke about limits or rules… we just wanted to be together. I wanted Mar, she wanted both of us, and he wanted her. It wasn't a sacrifice to share and, being honest with myself, I didn't even mind if they were intimate. It kind of surprised me and kind of didn't. She'd proven her devotion to us both. Besides, she was a person, not an object to own or control… and also honestly, he was growing on me which was really weird. 

Yeah, he'd lie, cheat and steal to get what he wanted but it seems like it's always for a good reason. Mar realized that in the very beginning. He really WAS just like her. Like a variant of the same person. 

Maybe that's why I felt… 

I shook away the thought.

As his hands traveled lower, I stopped him, grabbing his right arm with my metal one. He was strong, maybe stronger than me, and a half foot taller, but slender. I took all this in as I looked over his wrist in my hand.

With one move I could break it… and man, I'd thought about it in the past, but he'd saved me twice, maybe more… and I'd never even thanked him!

Fuck.

"Look…" I began to say I appreciated his help but he had an odd look on his face when I turned to him.

"What…" I squinted, expecting a rude comment.

"You're... welcome…" he smiled, tilting his head curiously.

"Hu??" confused, I could only blink. "Did you just… read my mind!?" anger and annoyance flooded over me as I flung his hands away, jumping to my feet.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't MEAN to!" 

"How did you not MEAN TO!? What the hell, Loki! You KNOW why I hate that mind shit… digging without permission…" I yelled, fuming now.

"IT JUST HAPPENED!" he roared back, stepping up to my face. "I'D NEVER… VIOLATE YOU LIKE THAT ON PURPOSE!"

What was he saying?  

I looked at the floor, utterly confused.

"This was the first time… " he continued nervously, "...that I've connected with ANYONE other than Marina. I'd never imagine…" 

"What…" I groaned as I raised my head, our eyes met. 

He was closer than I thought, and it took me off guard, and his hand brushed against mine as we stood.

“A connection with you.”

In a half of a second, he rushed in. Holding the back of my head firm yet unthreatening, he pulled close and kissed me. Before thinking I shoved him back.

"What the hell!" I covered and rushed off the bridge, stopping as soon as I was out of sight.

My head spun as adrenaline shot through my veins.

What should I do? I don't know how to feel about this... He was… This was… Was this right? Should I see? Did he know…  

His comments the other day about Steve rushed in. We weren't a 'thing' as Mar put it but I'd had feelings for him, wished in the deepest part of my soul that there could be more. But never in a MILLION years would have EVER said anything or done anything about it. We were happy as friends and I came to terms with that a very long time ago.

But now… This situation… Loki had pushed me outside my comfort zone so many times but I appreciated it. It felt natural to be together… with them both… and when we're all together, it was actually perfect.

What the fuck am I thinking?!  

I rubbed my eyes trying to force the thoughts out of my head but knew I was lying to myself.

--------Loki-------

"Oh no… what did I do?" I mumbled.

Marina is going to be furious if I had just destroyed what we've already built in this short amount of time, if I drove him away...

I paced the bridge as she sat meditating, still unaware of anything around her. 

Barnes had stormed off but our connection was still there.

With Marina, almost from the moment we met, I'd been able to feel her thoughts. After a time we'd been so attached we were able to start communicating with each other telepathically.

It was a strange form of ancient magic I'd no idea existed until I found mention of it in one of Frigga's journals back when I was searching her apothecary. I'd given it to Marina for us to read together.

Turning the pages in awe, the entry seemed like my mother penned it for me… it stated that someone so narcissistically involved in their own fate would be connected by the Norns to another, to bring love and balance into their life. It was the reason I'd fought so hard to keep her by my side. We were chosen to be together by the highest of authorities; she is my one true love. 

And now… connected to Barnes as well!?!  

But I tested and pushed him, failing miserably, maybe it was not meant. 

Plopping into a chair, my head in my hands, I waited for Marina. 

She would understand, she'd have to!

"LISTEN! You're rude, inconsiderate, selfish… I can go on!" he'd stormed back up, hair a mess, flustered and frustrated. 

I sat in shock for a moment. 

"But you've also been nothing but loyal and self-sacrificing… in your own weird way. And I don't know what to do with this!" he growled, fists clenched.

As his chest rose and fell dramatically I felt his tension. His lust and fear grew with each breath as he waited for my response.

Breaking the silence, I stood and spoke first.

"When I see you with her… I don't feel jealousy, I feel pure love. Something I had never known until she came into my life. I've seen you look at us the same way," I paused to read his body language, not wanting to send him running again. "Since you've joined us in our bed it's just grown stronger…. Am I wrong?" 

I smiled softly, waiting, hoping he couldn’t read my own lust and fear.

“I don’t know!” he growled, but I knew he was lying to himself. 

Do I push? Of course I do… dumb question. 

My eyes trailed up his hardened body and stopped on his lips, watching as his tongue slowly wet them. He swallowed hard, hiding his want.

“You’re lying, Barnes,” I squinted, stepping closer, almost touching him.

“If you’re in my head again,” he glared now, jaw and fists clenched. 

This could go very badly if I wasn't careful.

“I’m not… but I can feel you…” whispering now, my pulse was out of control as he’d just unwittingly admitted it. “Why did you come back?” I pried further.

Laughing, he turned away to look out the window, running his hands through his hair out of frustration.

This killer, once my mortal enemy, was now standing here, so near to acting on what he wanted, what he was terrified to admit.

“What can I do to help you see?” 

“God damn it!” he roared as he came at me, pushing me to the side wall. 

His metal hand pressed into my chest as his other held my arm against the structure above my head.

He was crazed and it was maddening how badly I wanted this. 

Leaning into my neck, he froze. His hot breath against my skin and the pressure against my chest raised the hairs on my body. 

Needing one more push, I growled into his ear. 

“I can be yours too, if you’ll have me...” as the words passed my lips he stopped breathing.

----------Mar---------

The frantic rhythm of two hearts racing was unmistakable, drawing me back. 

As the physical world developed around me, I woke from my meditation rested and hopeful for this to work. It had taken a lot longer than I thought but I found Sakar. Tucked away at the furthest reaches of space, it was surrounded by vortexes, anomalies, and black holes.

I stood to stretch out of habit and turned to the commotion behind me. 

Prepared to break up a fight, my eyes met Loki's. 

Bucky had him pinned to the wall. 

I blinked hard… 

Wait… what?! 

I was in utter shock as I realized what was happening. 

They’re making out! And not little pecks, like fully going at it!

Slapping my hand to my mouth, I was too late to stop the sound that came out. 

Buck turned, instantly dropping Loki. With a panicked look, he growled and stormed off. 

“He’ll be back,” Loki smiled. In a green shimmer he straightened his clothes and hair then took a seat. 

As he reclined casually in Quill’s chair, draping one leg over the arm, arrogantly, he went on to explain what had happened moments before, taking credit for the breakthrough.

I was absolutely giddy that they’d reached this point. This whole time I’d held a glimmer of hope they might become more than friends. 

What if Bucky shuts down though; will he be able to be honest about his feelings now? 

I only wanted him to be happy, to live without fear of judgment, to be able to be himself.

“And you’re connected to him too?!” I grinned. That was the most shocking part. I remembered when Loki found his mother's notes in the library on Asgard. I was just as shocked then to learn about OUR connection. 

“Have I said I was shocked enough!?” I laughed, scratching my head. “Should I go talk to him?”

“No. Barnes has to travel this path on his own,” he smiled smugly as he straightened his legs and patted his lap. 

I took a seat, running my hand behind his head and into his thick hair. As I kissed him he wrapped his arms around me, squeezed my bottom, and turned me to straddle his hips.

"You push us so hard but we always come out better for it," I smiled back.

He brought his lips to my ear, kissing it gently as he hummed in agreement. 

"Everything I do is for you, my love. You don't know how I crave you. Your touch, your scent, your happiness… I need it all."

His words engulfed my mind and as I melted onto him he squeezed harder, holding my core against his hardness, forcing a soft moan to escape my lips.

God damn I want this too, right now, but not here.

"Easy, silver tongue," I chuckled, stopping him from taking this further. "Someone's coming."

Quickly, I popped to another seat to pretend nothing was happening.

“I ACTUALLY miss Thanos right now,” Gamora joined us on the flight deck, completely annoyed but not nearly annoyed as we were. 

“Rocket and Quill are fighting AGAIN!” she huffed and mumbled something under her breath. “Can you go stop them before they kill each other!?” 

“Well that WOULD solve your problem,” I joked, raising an eyebrow as she fell into the chair next to me. “Anyway, I found that planet so we can go at any time. Are they ready?”

“I don't care, let's get this over with,” she groaned.

I chuckled knowing this was going to catch them off guard. At least it would stop their fight. 

Glancing at Loki, he nodded and buckled in, preparing to teleport.

Drawing power from the stones, I fractured spacetime, and brought the whole ship into orbit around Sakar instantaneously.

Moans and curses erupted from the other deck. The three of us, roaring with laughter, unbuckled  and went to check on them.

“Damn it, COAL!” Rocket sneered from the floor.

“Took the wind out of your sails, buddy?” I questioned, hands on my hips. “Stop fighting with each other and let’s get this shit DONE!”

---------------------

Chapter 11

---------------------

------Sakar-------

Quill took us the rest of the way to the surface. Dodging falling debris, left and right, he landed the ship near what seemed to be a city, if you could call it that. It was a hodgepodge of scrap made into structures and buildings. 

Thor tried to prepare us for what to expect here but it didn’t help. This place was unlike anything I’ve seen. Mountains of rubble covered the surface. Hurricane-like portals from space hung in the sky, spewing down what could only be described as garbage from around the cosmos. 

"Now the anus thing makes sense!"

“This place is PERFECT for that Collector creep,'' Rocket laughed. “You've been here before, so where do we go?” he asked Loki.

“No… I have not. Your dead Loki from this timeline has been here, not me,” he glared, rolling his eyes.

“Still so weird…” Steve mumbled, once again trying to wrap his head around THIS Loki’s timeline. 

“Forgot,” Rocket huffed. 

“We should start there,” Steve pointed to the largest structure.

Groot stayed behind with Bucky to protect the ship… Steve's orders. Probably the best for us all. I agreed, because Barnes hadn't so much as made eye contact with me and Loki since the incident. 

The rest of us made our way up to an imposing gate at the entrance of the building. Instantly we were met by guards in make-shift armor with random weapons that seemed home-made.

"Here we go again…" I huffed, thinking how fed up with guards and soldiers I'd become.

“Follow my lead,” Loki insisted, stepping forward. “We’re here to find the Collector. We were told his brother ruled here. Take us to him,” he demanded royally. 

“Diva,” I shot telepathically at him with a smirk.

He shushed me as the guards surrounded us.

“WE COME IN PEACE!” Steve yelled, hands in the air.

“Oh my god, he’s gonna get us all killed,” I mumbled to myself as I rubbed my eyes.

Something was said over a communication device and the guards directed us inside. 

“This way,” one spoke through a translation device.

--------------------

“Ahhh my God of Mischief RETURNS!” The Grandmaster cheered happily. “But you betrayed me, um didn’t you. Yes,” he answered himself. 

“What!?” Loki eyed him, confused. “Ohhhh, right. That wasn’t ME,” he smiled, explaining to the older man where he’d come from. 

“MY God of Mischief?” I questioned Loki in his head, laughing. 

“Shut it,” he groaned. “I haven't a clue as to what he’s referring to.”

“SUUUUURE!” I bit my lip.

“Topaz…” he turned to the person standing next to him, a battle hardened soldier with a bad attitude. “Do we forgive this Loki?” before she could answer him he continued. “On one condition,” his eyebrow raised suspiciously. “On the condition that you’re so CUTE.”

“That doesn't even make any sense,” I growled with confusion.

“DON’T question it,” Rocket murmured at me through the side of his mouth. 

“So WHAT are YOU?” The Grandmaster’s attention fell on me now. 

Damn it.

I really didn't want to talk on this mission. I didn’t want to reveal anything about myself to avoid being labeled a threat or a resource. 

Steve stepped in front of me, ignoring the man's question.

“We're looking for your brother, The Collector. We were told he was here,” he shook his head, almost not believing the situation he was in, on an alien world, asking about some alien. 

His attention went back to Cap. I breathed a sigh of relief as Rogers went on to explain why we were here, not as a threat but needing their help.

The Grandmaster held his hand out to Loki as if to ask for him to kiss it. 

So fucking weird.

I was starting to get irritated by all the formality. 

He did it, to the Grandmaster’s excitement. 

“Besides, we crushed the little rebellion you started, you trickster, you. Topaz, take them to my brother but you can stay with me,” he grinned flirtatiously at Loki. 

Rocket shrugged at Loki as we left. “Take one for the team, buddy,” he laughed. 

“If anything happens… I’ll be here in seconds,” I reassured him in his head as he nodded with a terrified look on his face. 

“You try anything and I’ll take you all out,” Topaz threatened as she led the way. 

"No doubt," Rocket mumbled.

Rogers, Quill, Rocket, Gamora, and I followed hesitantly through a maze of junk, garbage and carcasses. I couldn't think of the last time I'd been so grossed out. This place was worse than Contraxia. Plus, being down two people made me want this to be over as fast as possible.

--------------------

“What's wrong with Rocket?!” Gamora noticed as Quill came up behind us, over the last pile of crap. 

Rocket was draped over his shoulder, laughing and mumbling to himself about how colors taste.

“He ate something off the ground.”

“What the fuck, Rocket!” I grabbed his mouth to look inside as if he was a dog. “Don’t you fucking bite me!” I shouted.

As he snapped at me something fell out into my hand. 

“Is he on drugs? Is this drugs!?” I sneered, holding up the little purple thing that looked like candy. 

“Yes,” Quil answered, not sarcastically.

“What!?” 

Gamora came over to look at it. “Those are those things, those… oh, I can't think of the name!”

“Puffies! No way! Those are awesome!” Quill laughed. “Are there more!?” he plopped Rocket down on some junk and searched his pockets for more.

“Oh yes, now I remember,” Gamora laughed. 

“This isn’t funny!" I groaned. Normally I was the one losing focus and joking but this place seriously made me uneasy.

“Remember, we gave Drax one and nothing happened,” she continued, ignoring my frustration. 

“Yeah,” Quill laughed. “So we gave him like FOUR more and he was tripping balls for a week!” 

“That WAS amusing!”

“GAMORA!” Steve had enough. “Stop guys! How do we fix him, Coal?”

"We don’t. Let it run its course, that’ll teach him not to eat alien garbage again!" I growled, kicking a large piece of a spaceship out of our way.

Topaz had continued on without us, not caring that we fell behind. Suddenly movement caught my attention.

“We’re not alone! Let's go!"

--------------------

We had finally reached our destination, an enormous warehouse of sorts. As we walked up Topaz opened the doors in frustration.

"The Collector," she moaned unenthusiastically and waved us inside.

We walked down a corridor toward what looked to be just a man in a fur robe.

"This must be the new collection," Gamora sneered as she looked around.

His place was FILLED with tanks, cages, and vials containing creatures, plants, objects, and PEOPLE! 

Flashing images to Loki, he warned me not to react, to keep my head together. 

“How could I NOT react?! This place, this man… he was everything I’d fought against when I’d been captured or imprisoned each time!” 

My mind was raging as I held back the torrents of hate and anger. 

“I’m here, it will be alright,” he calmed my mind.

“We thought Thanos evaporated you after he took the Reality Stone,” Quill jabbed suddenly, popping me out of my murderous thoughts as we came face to face with The Collector.

"You didn't tell us this guy had an Infinity Stone!" I glared at him as he shrugged.

"Taneleer Tivan… " the assistant proceeded to introduce him until Gamora interrupted.

"We know," she snarled. "We're only here to see if you have something we need," she went on to explain the substance we were looking for.

"I have many… things…" he replied with the most untrustworthy smile I'd ever seen.

I hated him from the moment we stepped foot in his twisted archive of depravity. Then, as if I needed more reasons to hate him, he referred to the people and animals he held captive as THINGS. It lit me up. This was exactly what I'd avoided on Contraxia. 

Loki, never taking his mind away, helped me stay in control as I felt like melting this place to its core. 

Keeping my mouth clamped shut, I just prayed this would go smoothly. We didn't need anymore bullshit on this mission.

Tivan stood, tapping his fingers together, eyeing me as Gamora kept talking. 

Finally, curiosity getting the better of him, he interrupted.

"You. WHAT are you?" he grinned at me, suspiciously.

I didn't speak as my nostrils flared, I clenched my jaw and stood quiet.

"I do in fact have what you need,” he went on accepting my silence. “But I will name my price. What you seek is something not easily replaced but there is something else I would like EVEN MORE." 

FUCK. Does he know I have Infinity Stones? What if he asks for one!? I could TAKE anything I wanted from this monster at any moment. WHY are we playing these games!?

I wanted to do this the civilized way, but also, I begged for Tivan to try something, to give me an excuse to make this a whole lot easier!

He eyed me again but then walked up to Quill to inspect Rocket, lifting his chin. 

“Is that animal dead?”

“Nope, unfortunately. He’s just high,” Quill joked.

“I'll give you 10,000 credits for it…”

“Fuck off,” I swatted his hand. 

“Hmm, fine, 30,000,” he negotiated. 

“Not for sale.” 

---------------------

Chapter 12

---------------------

--------Bucky--------

“This damn quest is never ending!” I rubbed my forehead, trying to relax as we went over Tivan's map and ANOTHER plan.

“It’s like we’re trapped in a Goonies' hell,” Mar huffed as she sat next to me to see it as well. 

“A what?” Steve squinted, confused, not understanding that reference.

“Nevermind… So now what? What the hell is this thing?” she pointed to the sketch of the animal we were tasked with retrieving.

“Rocket back to normal yet? Maybe he'll know,” I asked.

They'd made it back to the ship with semi-good news. The deal was struck with Tivan that we'd go get some creature for his collection, something he'd had a hard time getting himself I guess, in exchange for what we needed.

Loki was being held by the Grandmaster as collateral in case we decided the creature was more valuable than the component itself.

Even though I needed a break from him, this still made me nervous for his safety. I had a really bad feeling about it. Not to mention Mar was ready to dust the whole planet after what she saw down there.

"He's still pretty out of it," Quill answered. "Hey Rocket? Why do raccoons gain weight?" he paused. "Because their diet is TRASH!" 

Rocket groaned to himself and rolled over on his bunk, throwing the covers on his head.

"HEY ROCKET!? How you feelin'? … Down in the DUMPS!?" 

Quill and Mar, laughing hysterically at the poor animal, hadn't stopped with the trash and racoon jokes since they got back.

"Note to self… don't eat garbage off the ground of an alien planet," I rolled my eyes toward Steve. 

"Hey Rocket, What kind of training do you need to become a garbage collector?... None, you just PICK IT UP as you go along!" 

Rocket slid his tiny paw from under the blanket to give us all the middle finger.

"He's gonna kill you guys. You know that, right?"

"Last one. Last one," Mar chuckled.

"Hey Rocket! What do raccoons eat?... JUNK food!" 

Groot snorted as he fell over laughing.

They were all dead.

--------Unknown Planet--------

Mar transported us to the planet on the map and was able to figure out how to calibrate a tracker to the specific species based on the image WITHOUT Rocket’s help. 

"Pretty good for someone who'd probably never owned a computer," I teased as she nudged me and smiled.

"Like you should talk," she chuckled.

It was nice to see her smiling at me. I was worried she’d be upset about what happened with Loki but I couldn't bring myself to talk about it. Like every other feeling, I pushed it down.

"This shouldn't be too hard," Steve commanded the group. "Coal," he cleared his throat as if it was still difficult for him to talk to her. "You can transport us down to the planet. There should be no need to land. I'm worried it won't be safe enough. We can leave the ship in orbit with Groot so he can watch over Rocket."

--------Mar--------

Steve's plan sounded good at the time but as usual, we weren't prepared for what we were getting ourselves into.

"Whose job was intel on this place!" Quill yelled as he stood and brushed dirt off himself.

"YOUR'S!" Gamora snarled. She was trying to stand, fighting the gravitational force. "You said it was fine!"

"I said the AIR was fine!" 

"Hey, I'm completely prepared to keep this planet's gravity from crushing you all! No big deal WHATSOEVER! Hu, wouldn't it be great if there was some sort of scientific device to warn us about this, Quill!?" I growled over to him sarcastically. 

One at a time I had to envelop each teammate in a protective barrier to counteract the force.

Gamora was last. I was shocked she could even get up to one knee. The others hit the dirt like pancakes as soon as I brought us down here. 

"This is gonna take all my concentration for this, guys. I'm sorry but there's not much else I can do on this mission," I was frustrated and angry but knew we needed to get this done.

"Hey…" Steve nodded over. "Without you we'd be dead in minutes! Let's find one of these giant rats and get the hell outta here."

Bucky nodded in agreement. I could tell he was worried but he hid it well as we headed towards the woods.

Gamora was in charge of the tracking device but it seemed like whenever we had a bleep it would disappear. 

The five of us searched forever for a fucking rat and as this alien sun started to set we were still ratless.

"No wonder Tivan didn't have one of these bastards already." 

"How hard can it be to find an unusually sized rodent?" Steve huffed.

"A rodent of unusual size… ROUSes!" I laughed hysterically at him. "Inconceivable!'

Looks of 'what the fuck?’ shot at me from every direction.

---------Bucky---------

"Well, guess it's not ‘cause they're hard to find!" Mar growled out to the darkness. 

Twenty or so giant rodents still circled around our group as we stood by the small fire Rogers made. Black, beady eyes glared into ours, hungrily. As soon as it got dark they emerged from the swamp areas below the hillside where we'd stopped to rest. 

They were never ending… plague like! And FUCKING terrifying!

Teeth hung below their lower jaw, needle sharp quills lined their backs, lion sized claws dug into the soil with every advance they made. 

We'd only brought the few weapons we could carry, thinking this would be a simple task, and were dangerously low on ammo.

Steve had taken out at least a dozen already and myself, Gamora, and Quill had to have gotten just as many between us.

"First zombies now killer rats? How does this shit always happen!??"

"Buck, to your left!" Steve shouted as yet another rodent flew at me. My vibranium arm caught the top of its skull and crushed down. I flung the carcass out past the others, several began cannibalizing it as soon as it hit the ground.

"Disgusting…" Mar scoffed.

She was useless but not for lack of skill or motivation. She was keeping us all from being crushed non-stop. 

"We're so screwed!" Quill shouted from behind me. "There's MORE COMING UP THE HILL!"

"GUYS, I CAN'T GET US OUT OF HERE!" Mar was panicked. 

She was on one knee now, exhausted from the strain of her endless battle with this planet's gravity. I knew it was killing her inside, not being able to use The Power Stone to help. It gave her practically unlimited power but it wasn't needle precise, think more planetary destruction. It wouldn’t allow her to simply take them out one-by-one. 

"Coms are still down! I can't reach Groot!" Gamora updated with more bad news.

"Fuck!" Steve snarled.

With all that was going on, I heard Mar still giggle, mumbling something about Captain Courteous’ use of a vulgar word.

"I could just blow up the whole planet and poof us to the ship!" she suggested after her amusement faded.

"I'm almost ready to try that," I groaned.

"They are horrible but this is their home!" Gamora defended.

"I know… " Steve agreed. Killing another with a single shot, it was his last round.

“FUCK!” he cursed again.

"Look, I LOVE that you're saying fuck, it's very inspirational, but we need some other helpful words to come out of your mouth right about now, Rogers!" Quill jabbed.

Gamora took out two more with the last of her ammo. She drew her blade, taking out a third.

"Can they climb?" Mar asked, looking at the huge trees just out of the fire light. "I might be able to over counter the gravity for a second and get us up there!"

"Well it's worth a shot!" Steve smiled.

"Grab a branch!" 

Marina flung us, one by one, to the tallest branches then right as one of those beasts lunged for her back, she lifted herself onto mine. 

Grabbing the strap of her uniform, I held her to me. Taking a deep breath, happy she was okay, I turned my attention to the tree trunk and waited. None followed.

"They don't climb! Thank the fucking Gods!" she cheered. I could see the exhaustion in her eyes and knew that getting us to safety took A LOT out of her. More than she'd admit. 

"We have to get the fuck off this planet." 

--------------------

Waiting for dawn, we figured they'd crawl back into whatever holes they crawled out of, but this planet’s sun still hadn't cracked the horizon.

"Time?" Quill asked.

"17.3545," Gamora answered.

"What the hell does that mean?" 

"17.3545 Earth hours since we landed here," she explained.

"That's not how we tell time…" he trailed off, too tired to argue or explain.

"My ass is asleep," I joked, trying to get Mar to cheer up. 

I sat with my back on the main trunk, legs straddling the branch with her in front of me, leaning against my chest. 

I couldn't see her face but I knew she was almost done. Her skin was cool and damp, her breathing shallow. She sat with her fists clenched as she kept us all alive.

This was bad. 

--------------------

"44.893." 

Gamora's confusing timer was at least entertaining. I worked the math in my head to keep my mind off our situation, trying to make room for a good idea to pop in.

Marina was in an almost catatonic state now. She was barely responding to my questions.

I held her so she wouldn't fall and had no idea if we'd were going to be crushed at any second.

"Steve… how you doin’ over there?" 

"Still have four below me," he updated. 

They hadn't left and the day still hadn't broken.

"Quill?" 

He didn't reply.

"Gamora?" 

"He's asleep. I am okay. There are six down there, more just out of sight. Is she okay?" the fear in her voice was obvious.

"I… I don't know," kissing the top of her head I worried she might not pull out of this. We'd all be doomed seconds after.

"Buck…" Steve didn't continue. I know what he meant, what he was trying to say. 

--------------------

White light glared through my eyelids, bolting me awake. 

"Mar!" 

She was okay… asleep in my arms. I could feel her pulse and breath.

"The light!"

"Don't go to it, Gamora!" Quill shouted from his sleep.

"What the hell is…" I held my hand out to shield my eyes.

"Let's go!"

A familiar voice shouted orders to everyone but we were all delirious from the days of lack of food and water, no one moved.

"HEY! Get off your asses!" 

"Nebula?"

"I am Groot!"

The sun had risen. Its blinding salvation scattered the rodents and lit up the Benatar like a Christmas tree.

I jumped down with her in my arms, grateful for the damn super soldier serum, and handed her to Drax.

Quill was the worst off after Mar but could still walk with help from Gamora.

After Steve boarded we got the fuck out of there, the ship's artificial gravity took over.

"Hey… we're safe, back on the ship."

I held her face in my hands and kissed her softly. 

She smiled up then rolled over to rest. 

---------------------

Chapter 13

---------------------

"Is she going to be okay?" Steve sat beside me, handing me food and a drink, with a concerned scowl.

"Yeah. Might be a few days but she's good." 

"That didn't go well. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have…"

"Look, no one knew what the hell we were walking into. Don't be hard on yourself."

Reaching over, I placed my hand on his shoulder, in support.

It was still so damn weird to have him around. I'd come to terms with MY Steve growing old and passing last year, mourned, then moved on. 

Now I have this other punk to look after but he was here nonetheless, and safe. 

Maybe I wasn't a total failure after all.

"HOLD ON!!" Rocket shouted suddenly.

-------Sakar-------

"Well that sucked!"

Quill groaned as he jumped off the Benatar’s ramp.

"Going through the anus was definitely the worst way to get back here." I complained, missing Mar’s abilities.

"I am Groot," he agreed.

Dragging an unconscious rat down the ramp, Drax laughed. "Weaklings!"

He hoisted the animal over his shoulder and they all set off to make the trade. 

I hung back at the ship waiting for Mar to wake up and for Loki to get back.

It hadn't been thirty seconds when his green light flashed next to me and he stormed up, furious.

--------Loki--------

"BARNES! WHAT DID YOU DO!!??"

"Um, nothing and HI. How have YOU been?!" 

"NOTHING?? WHERE IS SHE! I can't feel her any longer!" 

I had been panicking for what seemed like eternity, anxious for them to return. As the ship landed I expected to feel the familiar comfort of her consciousness touching mine but there was only the soldier!

Fearing the worst, I shook him violently by the shoulders.

"EASY! She's right there!"

He turned me to face the other side of the ship. 

"Oh thank the Gods…" relief washed over me as I shrugged him off. 

She WAS there. Just across from us, sleeping so deeply I could not sense her.

Rushing over, I knelt beside her, stroking the hair from her brow. She seemed drawn, paler than normal. Kissing her forehead, my lips felt her cold skin. Gently I entered her mind, reassuring her I was back at her side, watching over her, protecting her, and letting her know that both of us were fine. 

"Hey, seriously, are you okay?" he asked again. "Not that I was worried about you but…"

"You WERE worried about me," I stood to face him now and smiled. 

"She'll be okay," he tried to change the subject, taking a slow step backwards but I pursued. 

"I am absolutely fine. Never better," I grinned down at him. 

He was nervous, his heart pounded, his mind raced, not stopping on one coherent thought. Managing to back into a wall, he had nowhere else to go.

"Can you still feel me?" he murmured.

As I nodded a slow yes, he wet his lips then sent me a clear vision but it was NOT what I was expecting.

"So that's what happened! Unbelievable! How FOOLISH… she could have died for this!"

"She would have been glad to if it meant saving her friends!" he snarled.

"And what if this doesn't work!? What then!? Risking everything for a possibility!?" I was fuming that he'd let this go so far, that he'd let her do this to herself!

"She's risked everything for each of us before and we've done the same for her, over and OVER! Because that's LOVE, LOKI!" 

He shoved me away with one arm and glared into my eyes, raging inside.

"Love is for…"

"FOOLS?!" he roared, interrupting me. "Is that what you were just about to fucking say!? Now who's lying to themselves! What, get a little scared and now you're too good to admit you love her!?" he was pure fury.

"DAMN YOU! I have lost EVERYTHING, over and over, never ending! And I am destined to lose THIS TOO!" lashing out at him I wanted to explode the ship, this world, the universe. 

His expression softened, his concern drifted into my soul as my fears bled into his.

"Loki… I'm sorry I couldn't keep us out of danger but we're okay, we're right here. And we're not going ANYWHERE. Even if she isn’t, I’ll always be there for you."

I hated him in this moment, hated that he was drawing me in and pulling out my inner thoughts. I had always been the one no one trusted but in reality, I had never truly trusted anyone myself. My walls were tall and fortified with anger and malice but I couldn't bring myself to fight any longer. He was inside, further than another has been, further than Marina. My facade crumbled; I was a naked husk in front of this man.

"You're okay," her soft coo broke me.

She moved between us, holding us both at the waist and pulled us all together. 

Watching a tear roll down Barnes' cheek, I followed. Losing my composure, I buried my face in her hair. 

His arm came around me; his hand dug into the fabric, pulling me closer. I could feel her shaking between us as we held each other.

"Sorry to break up the reunion but… not sorry," Rocket snarled. "Let's get the hell out of here."

He tossed a vial at me. Catching it mid-air I stored it away for safekeeping. 

"Thanks Rocket," sarcasm poured from Marina.

"Ohh you owe me. You owe me BIG TIME!" he was pissed and as well should be for the torment she'd put him through.

"Everyone strap on! It's anus time!" 

"It's strap IN!!! OH MY GODS, DRAX!" Nebula groaned. She would be red in the face if she wasn't blue.

“And he’s all yours…” Mar chuckled at her. 

---------------------

Chapter 14

---------------------

-------Asgard-------

---------Mar---------

The warm sun lit up his face in rainbows as it shined in through the stained glass windows of Frigga’s study.

His concentration, just as sharp as his features, was unwavering. I'd never seen him this way. With his hair tied back and sleeves rolled up, working so hard at something.

As soon as we got back he dove into making this cure. I had no idea what to do or how to help. He’d been grinding away at this for almost three days so I just sat and watched him for support. 

“Fucking magic… I never thought in a million years this was a real thing,” Bucky mumbled as he came in to sit next to me. We watched in amazement together.

Buck and I joked and teased, making pop culture Earth references Loki could never understand until he’d gotten sufficiently distracted. 

“Do you want me to mess this up and turn them all into frogs!!??” he snarled over. “Because I have done it before and let me tell you, it is NOT pretty!”

Biting my tongue, I took Bucky by the hand and we went to go wander, leaving Loki to finish in peace. 

--------------------

“What happened in HERE?” Buck asked, curious about the construction in the throne room. 

“Ummm… no clue,” I couldn’t bring myself to tell him quite yet about the shape-shifting sex we’d had a while back. “How the hell is this not fixed yet?” I mumbled to myself.

“BARNES!” Thor roared in and saved me from the look Bucky was giving me. “Let us celebrate your Victory of the Rats!”

Only HE would make up a name for the rat battle we just had and use it as an excuse to drink and feast. 

“Heathen!” I laughed as I hugged him. 

“All the best of us are!” he grinned with a wink.

“Lead the way, pal!” Bucky seemed happy to go along with it. 

We joined up with the rest of the group in a warmly lit tavern. 

Casks of mead and other Godly drinks lined the walls. A huge fire roared inside the Medieval looking hearth at the center. Stocky wooden tables and chairs were arranged in a circle around it.

"The perfect drinking spot after having quested for magic potions!" Thor smiled proudly when he noticed my reaction to the room.

"I love this place!" I grinned from ear to ear and ‘magicked’ drinks into our hands.

"Cheers!" Quill roared as we took our seats around the fire. 

This was perfect but I'd only wished Loki could join us, ‘soon, my loves,’ was his response when I questioned him in my mind.

At some point plates of food were set out around the tables, completing the fantasy.

Drink after drink went down and as someone finished, I'd fill their cup for them. 

"Thanks, baby!" Bucky raised his mug to me. 

It was only fitting that I'd keep up the magic fun.

We laughed at the stories from the Victory of the Rats. Looking back it WAS the most ridiculous situation EVER!

"So…" Rocket heaved with drunken laughter as he climbed onto the table. "When those three showed up…" he hiccuped and flung ale in Drax, Mantis, and Nebula’s direction, "I was like, what the hell! Where am I!? Then! THEN!!! GROOT tells me everyone should have been back already! I'd been so messed up I didn't even know they left!" 

He roared and stepped on a plate, sending meat flying into the air. Pieces hit the table as some fell to the ground

"DON'T FUCKING EAT THAT!" I cried with laughter, as my side cramped from the strain. 

"Maybe I WILL!!" he wheezed, grabbing a piece off the table and putting it in his mouth, chomping sarcastically loud. 

Buck fell against the table, clutching his ribs, unable to breathe.

I couldn't see straight, I was laughing so hard.

"Then! Then!!" Rocket continued his telling of the tale. "As we flew off I bagged one of those creepy fuckers! Who's the hero NOW, QUILL!!??" he growled and pointed to him aggressively. 

Quill was out cold which made it even funnier!

"The true hero!" Thor grabbed his tiny paw and raised it, cheering the victory!

"Good job, Rocket. I was wondering how you guys got one of those bastards for the collector," Steve smiled. "For WAKANDA!" he toasted.

He'd been quiet this whole time and truthfully I'd forget he was there!

I gave Bucky an ‘I'm sorry’ glance and raised my cup towards Rogers as we toasted.

Mantis didn't make it two rounds, as usual. She laid on the floor with a sack of potatoes as a pillow.

Gamora had her feet up, laughing along with the rest of us. 

Drax challenged Thor to a drinking contest and lost. He then threatened Thor saying he cheated so Nebula had to drag him off to cool down.

Groot was next to Rocket sneaking chugs of his ale when he'd turn his back. As the fun Aunt, I didn't say a word.

As Thor and Rocket continued praising each other's victories I sat leaning against Bucky, waiting for the opportunity to head out by ourselves. 

His eyes had been squinty with smiles the whole time. I fucking loved every second of it and just stared at him like a goon.

"What?" he chuckled finally.

"I fucking love you so much," I blurted.

"I fucking love YOU so much more," he laughed and rubbed my leg. Finishing his ale in one long swig, he set the cup upside down on the table and scooched closer to me.

"Hi," I teased. 

"Hi."

I moved as close to him as I could without actually sitting on his lap, our legs intertwining.

--------Loki-------

Laughter erupted through the door to my chambers as it slammed open, carelessly. Brightness from the hall blinded me as I rolled over to see what the hell was happening.

“WHY?!” I groaned as they unwittingly fell onto me.

“Oh!” she squeaked with surprise as she realized I was beneath her. “Loki! I’m sorry!” she giggled and searched for me under the furs. 

An audible grunt of disapproval came from my other side as Barnes sat up. He moved to lean back against the headboard, tucked arms behind his head, and legs stretched out and crossed.

“You're done?! You never came to join us!” she scowled with disappointment.

“I didn’t want to interrupt your fun,” I pouted. 

Missing the celebration was frustrating and sensing them enjoying their night without me hurt slightly. Besides, I’d been in the midst of hating myself and was exhausted from the trials of the last few days. 

“I wanted you… WE wanted you to join us, though,” she was giving me her best expression of sadness.

“Hey, don’t feel bad. You were busy getting everything ready to go!” Barnes interrupted, looking down at me with a drunken squinty smile, inciting massive amounts of guilt.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t up for it,” I admitted shyly. 

“You should have said something!” she frowned. “We would have come up!” her eyes dug into me, I felt her mind question that there was more to it than that.

“What’s going on?” she pried, resting her head against my bare chest, running her fingers up and down it. 

“I would rather not discuss it while you’re inebriated,” I huffed. 

I felt her take a deep breath. In seconds she sobered the both of them and sat to look me in the eyes. 

“Loki…” 

“Hmmmm?” I grinned sarcastically. 

“Puppy dog eyes! NOW, BARNES!” she ordered suddenly, pointing to the man. 

“You are both ridicul…” I looked over to him and melted. 

“Loki…” he said in the softest comforting tone. 

I wanted to get up and walk away but she held tight to my waist now, forcing me to face this.

-------Mar-------

Finally feeling him give in, he sighed heavily and started talking. 

I held him around the waist as I rested my head back down to his chest, ready to listen.

"I've failed… You left everything in my hands, and my hands alone, to create this cure and I've failed you. Failed your friends," he cleared the catch in his throat.

I was NOT expecting that.

"How? I mean, what happened!?" I sat up in surprise to take this all in.

As he held his hand above himself, a small shimmer of green flashed around it. Then in it, a tiny vile appeared.

"This is it. This is all there is!" he started laughing maniacally. "All that for a drop!"

Buck and I turned to him simultaneously with confused expressions. We lost it together and fell to the bed beside him, laughing.

"That's all we need!" I smiled, kissing his cheek.

"I… I was so tired…" he stuttered. " I guess it never dawned on me that you could duplicate it."

"You're amazing, do you know that?" Buck nudged his shoulder as he grinned shyly.

"Rest, my love," I ordered, kissing his forehead this time. 

He stored the vial and adjusted himself, falling asleep almost instantly.

As I stroked his hair I caught Bucky watching me and looking at him affectionately before closing his eyes himself.

--------------------

I didn't sleep. I hardly ever did, only watched over them as they dreamed.

This was almost perfect. Not remembering the last time I'd felt so happy and comfortable, I would never say those words out loud, afraid to jinx us.

The only thing that could make this better would be knowing Shuri and everyone in Wakanda was safe.

Soon, I thought, we'd be there to help them. Our group needed a few more days to rest after everything we'd been through. 

Did I need to rest?

As I thought back to the fire swamp I worried why I had weakened so quickly. It didn’t really dawn on me until now how fast that drained my energy. 

Is that something I should worry about?

Maybe I WILL just sleep for a bit.

---------------------

Chapter 15

---------------------

----------Bucky---------

“THREE days. She’s been out THREE days,” I corrected Loki as we argued whether or not to wake her up.

“It’s FINE! She NEEDS this, trust me,” he placed his hand on my shoulder to reassure me. 

“Yeah, well… I’m doing it TOMORROW.” 

Frustrated, I left them in our room to go meet up with Thor. He had wanted me to go train with him earlier but I declined. I hadn't wanted to leave her side until I knew she was okay but Loki convinced me he could handle it. 

Wearing myself out with Thor helped. 

Shit, he nearly broke my vibranium arm on the last combo.  

He caught me with Stormbreaker as I blocked it. 

Had he not been going easy on me it would have gone clean through. 

The fix was simple but took longer than I’d liked. I sat in their version of a lab while some type of Asgardian technician repaired the damage.

“That should do it,” she smiled. 

Finally.

Craving a shower and a sandwich, I rushed back to our room.

-------Mar------

It was too quiet. Too peaceful. 

Snapping awake I took in my surroundings quickly, feeling out through the room for threats, problems. 

Nothing.  

Loki was on the chaise by the window napping, a book on his chest. 

Taking in a deep sigh of relief, I remembered letting myself sleep. 

Laying back down, I stared up at the ornate ceiling and reliefs carved into it. 

“I am still in awe that you recreated the art so perfectly,” Loki now stood at the end of the bed, looking up to it as well. 

“The credit goes to the original craftsmen,” I smiled as I looked him up and down. 

He was in black leather pants and a simple white shirt, half unbuttoned, half untucked, sleeves rolled to his elbows. I wasn’t used to seeing him dressed so casually. Unless he was naked, he’d always had on some formal coat or armor. 

This was a nice change. 

“I’ve missed you the last few days,” he grinned back and set his book down. 

“How long have I been out?”

“Long enough.”

His smile turned wicked as he crawled onto the bed, slowly pulling the furs down, exposing my breasts. 

A quiet hum left him as he made his way up to me. 

“Come here,” I ordered, reaching out, wanting to kiss him. “I missed you too,” buzzing with anticipation, I realized it had been a while since we shared ANY intimacy. 

My body responded savagely to his touch as his finger tip brushed over my nipple. 

“Loki…” I whispered as his mouth met mine.

“Yes, my love?”

“Don’t make me wait…”

He chuckled and moved off the bed, standing at the foot again. In an instant his clothes vanished as he flung the fur away. Grabbing my ankles, he pulled me to the edge of the mattress, making me squeal with surprise as my butt was stopped by his legs. 

His hardness pushed into my thigh as he leaned down, heavy against my body. 

We kissed furiously, hands pulling at each other's hair. As his cock found my dripping slit, he forced in with one thrust.

A groan escaped my lips as he returned the sound in approval. Inch by inch, I felt him fill me. My mouth watered and the wave of ecstasy rolled up from my core, tensing every muscle. 

“I’ve NEEDED this for so so long...” he hummed as he drove into me again and again.

“Oh God…me too…” I gasped between his movements and his pace quickened, bringing me to a delicious orgasm. 

“Yes… that’s what I want… unravel for me…”

Standing up straight, he pulled at my hips, sending himself in deeper and deeper. I let loose my pent up tension, cumming hard on his shaft as he groaned with me. My back arched against the bed, my fingertips dug into the skin of his forearms. 

As my body relaxed I switched places with him, pushing him to the bed now, his legs hanging down to the floor. I straddled his hips and slowly lowered myself onto his cock. 

Tucking his hands behind his head, he smiled and closed his eyes as I rode him slowly. Each time, teasing his tip against my clit before sliding down onto him.  

I was enjoying the slower pace, feeling the pleasure from him gliding in each time. 

“I want to do this all day…” I hummed as I rolled my hips back and clenched down, hearing his breath stop.

“And I’ll let you,” he whispered with a smile, but suddenly, his eyes popped open and focused behind me.

“Oh…” 

Bucky.

I froze, terrified. 

What would he think? How is he going to react, seeing us like this? 

The questions poured in, making my heart race. 

Bucky didn’t say another word. He turned and went into the bathroom. I heard the water turn on; he was showering. 

Loki held my arm, “Relax,” I heard him tell me in my mind but I wanted to run and hide under the sheets. “Don’t, he’s fine,” Loki continued and tapped his head to tell me he knew what Bucky was thinking.

This was a mistake, how could he be fine? How is he not hurt or jealous!? 

“STOP!” Loki ordered, aloud this time. 

Looking into his eyes, I tried to calm down but couldn’t and he felt every ounce of my panic.

“Close your eyes,” he ordered again, holding both my wrists now. 

I did. 

Instantly I was out of my body and joined Loki in his. 

I felt… BUCKY! I actually felt him through Loki’s connection!

He was happy, excited even…

“Was this wrong?”

“No,” Loki answered, “we aren’t intruding, simply observing. As if looking at someone standing in front of you.”

“Okay, Stop.”  

The connection was instantly closed to me and my mind returned to my own body. 

Slowly, Loki’s hands went to my hips, guiding me to continue. I rocked against him as he lifted up to meet each movement. 

My body quaked at the sensation and the relief knowing Bucky was excited by this. Loki felt it as well. 

“It will only get better...” he nodded behind me with a mischievous grin. 

I could sense Bucky’s presence approaching us, closer and closer until his wet bare chest touched my back. 

The air left my lungs with a moan as I leaned against him. Loki’s thrusts, harder each time, never slowed. 

Bucky’s hands landed on the other man's thighs then continued moving up my body to caress my breasts. His lips met my neck while I combed my fingers into his hair.

“Are you sure?” I asked to confirm he wanted this.

He was raging hard. I felt his cock pulsing against my lower back, rubbing up and down as Loki moved me. 

“Now you’re both mine,” he growled looking over my shoulder, catching Loki’s gaze. 

Bucky backed away and excitement rushed over me as I prepared to have him as well but it wasn't me he slid into. 

Loki gasped, eyes wide, mouth agape in pleasure. He arched against me, one hand ripping at the sheets, one crushing down on my thigh with enough force to break a normal person's femur. 

His moan ignited my core knowing his new euphoria wasn’t from me. My body tensed around him as I crashed down, needing every inch to satisfy another orgasm.

“Odinson…" I breathed, between thrusts. "When we’re done with you you’ll only know two things… just our names,” I mocked with a deviant smile. 

Bucky growled from behind. With each push against us I watched Loki come unhinged. Knowing he finally had both of us must have been driving him insane. 

I held Bucky’s hands against my breasts, moaning into his neck. While he ravaged the man under me, I came on Loki's cock. My body throbbing with every drive left me unable to control my cries of satisfaction.

He was next. Mute with ecstasy, it was the first time he had no words. I felt his orgasm pulse into me, over and over, groaning with each, bringing Bucky to the end. 

The man behind me grunted like a beast as he finished, his head slamming to my shoulder, wet hair dripping down my chest. 

Completely overwhelmed with the experience, I fell to my side next to Loki. Bucky followed, face down between us, one arm across each of our waists, fighting to catch his breath.

My heart raced from the excitement thinking this could actually work… us… all together… completely!

In silence, we held each other for the sweetest five minutes of my life.

Loki broke the silence first.

"Quite the change from the past few days, Barnes." 

He only grunted back, questioning Loki.

"Hmm?" I wondered what he was talking about too since I'd been out for a while.

"He ignored me the whole time you were asleep," Loki said, sounding irritated, hurt even. 

That would definitely be something to be irritated about, especially after just having sex with the man. 

"Buck? Really?" leaning onto one elbow I looked down on him. 

"No… I didn't IGNORE him…" he grumbled into the bed as if trying to avoid this whole thing.

"Oh… then what do YOU call it?" Loki growled, sitting up on one elbow too.

We both hovered over Bucky who was laying face down between us still, waiting for him to respond.

With a heavy sigh, he rolled to his back, and sat up at the end of the bed. Facing away from us, he rubbed his head for a moment, pulled on some shorts, then sat back down.

"I'm sorry."

"Well… don't do it again," Loki groaned. 

I could tell he was upset by the way he was treated and I don't blame him. I also knew he wasn't going to get much more out of Bucky. 

Loki sat up now, leaning in closely to him. I waited eagerly to hear what he was going to say but Bucky spoke first.

"Look, this is… I'm old." 

Loki's eyebrows raised as he chuckled at his simple explanation. I held back my own laughter knowing Loki was almost 20 times his age. 

Did he even have a clue?  

"I mean, old like old fashioned." 

"He doesn't understand, Buck," I chimed in because I knew exactly what Bucky was talking about. "He's not from Earth." 

Loki nodded in agreement, reaching out a hand to Bucky’s stubble covered chin, turning it to face him.

"Help me to understand," he breathed as he rested his forehead against Bucky's.

Bucky closed his eyes, sighing heavily as Loki smiled.

"I see," his smile faded as he pulled away.

I could only imagine what he showed Loki and the curiosity was killing me!

Was this bad? What's going to happen now? Is this over!? Should I say something?  

My mind swirled with questions.

Buck stood; Loki stood. Grabbing his arm sternly, Loki pulled him close.

"I'm not letting you run this time," he glared into Barnes' eyes. "There's no need to hide ANYTHING! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!"

"You just SAW how I feel!" he snapped back.

"But SAY IT!" Loki roared.

I cringed back knowing what it was like having Loki bear down on me, demanding I face myself, one of the fucking hardest thing anyone could do. Suddenly I was nervous about where this could go, if this was the end of us.

Loki could feel my anxiety and gestured subtly with his hand for me to stay put as I fought the urge to stand and intervene.

Bucky's jaw clenched and his hand ran down his face, covering his mouth as he took several more heavy breaths. His gaze fell to me now. He looked terrified, with his brow wrinkled and a sullen expression.

Did he want my approval? Was he afraid to hurt ME? Lose ME? Is that what this is about?

I glanced at Loki, daring to ask and he confirmed.

More than ANYTHING I wished I could let him into my mind so he could see that was the furthest thing from the truth. 

Loki felt my anguish and desperation and asked for approval to bring them BOTH into MY thoughts. I smiled and simply nodded yes, let him see!

He held Bucky's head to his own once more. 

Flinching and stepping away, I could tell he wasn't prepared to leave his body quite like that but he regained his composure almost instantly.

The world seemed to have lifted from his shoulders.

"Mar…" he smiled.

He saw for himself that I wanted this. I WANTED him to be free as well. Free to admit his feelings to Loki.

Our lives had passed by NORMAL so long ago that we've created completely different realities for ourselves. We TRULY could do whatever the hell we wanted and I felt like he finally could see that now too.

He turned to smile at Loki shyly. 

"I do care. I care about you a lot," pausing, he looked away, rubbing his head. "I don't know if it's LOVE … but I can't keep you out of my head. I mean, like I think about you a lot. Being together is… incredible," his eyes traveled up Loki then drifted to me. 

I felt like I was glowing with pride and happiness. 

"This IS incredible," I smiled, sat up, and held both their hands to my lips, kissing them. 

Loki gazed down at me with a sly grin. 

"Minx," he teased with a raised eyebrow.

"Harlot," I shot back.

"Punk," Buck squinted to Loki.

I pulled them both down on top of me as I laughed.

This is perfect.

---------------------

Chapter 16

---------------------

I woke to tender fingers tucking my hair behind my ear.

"You were crying, my love." 

My eyes cracked open to Loki laying in front of me, concern burning in his green eyes. Bucky was pressed to my back, still asleep, with his metal hand draped over my hip.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know I fell asleep. Did I wake you up?"

"Never worry about me. But what is it? Why does sadness haunt you still? Are you not happy?" his eyes reddened at the question.

I closed mine to try and push the dream away, to forget it. "I am. I'm VERY happy, you know that," I grinned trying to overcome my thoughts, trying to snap back to reality.

He wiped my cheek and showed me the tear. 

"Yes?" he questioned, digging further.

"I'm fine," I tried like hell to hide my emotions. “Just a nightmare.”

"I told you before, never hide your pain from me!" he growled quietly and leaned in closer. 

 "MAR!" Bucky suddenly jolted awake, now covered in sweat and huffing loudly.

"What AM I going to do with you both?!" Loki groaned and sat up. "You're trembling and you're terrified… WHAT IS HAPPENING?!"

I rolled to face Bucky now, he'd fallen into a night terror again. Even though it was less frequent they still reared their ugly head now and then, same as my nightmares.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled to Loki. 

"Don't be. I just wish I knew what to do… what you'd been through… maybe I could help stop it!"

"You don't wanna know," Buck and I said, simultaneously. 

It would almost be funny if it weren't very true. Our traumatic pasts weren't something we wanted others to experience. Especially knowing Loki could be in our heads. 

I knew, for myself anyway, I was able to keep some walls up when Loki and I communicated and by the way Loki was curious about Bucky's past I guessed he did the same. 

"MAYBE I DO WANT TO KNOW!" Loki huffed. "MAYBE I'd like to know everything about you both. Marina and I know each other deeply but she still hides so much from me. You, Barnes, I only know you from our short time together and the things Marina has told me!" 

Buck glared at me and I shrugged. "Sorry." 

"What about YOU?" Bucky shot. "I don't know anything about you either. Mar didn't really say much about you."

"Really!?" he sounded disappointed as he tisk-tisked at me. 

"What… I'm not going to just blab your life to everyone." 

"Well why NOT? Am I not interesting?" 

"You're very interesting, I'm just not that person. What you tell me stays with me," I frowned.

"Really… then what did you tell Loki about ME?" Buck argued. 

"That was different… I was venting." 

"Ohhhhh, okay."

Bucky sat up to face me, cross-legged. I did the same only to have Loki join us, completing a circle, preparing to hash this out.

"Stop," he placed a hand on each of our thighs. "I have just thought of something. Do you REALLY want to know each other?" Loki asked, now with a playful smirk.

"Well yes, but… what are you thinking?" 

"I never want to see either of you unhappy, sad, or scared. It's awful. I HATE it. I hate that I don't know the reason. As if your ghosts are my enemies, I only wish to destroy them… to save you both." 

"Loki… " I smiled at his romanticism. "I know exactly how you feel," placing my hand on his, I rubbed it gently then put my other hand on Bucky's thigh, looking at him. "I've wished since the day I knew what was going on at Hydra that I could take your pain from you. Every time you have flashbacks I hate myself for not being able to take away your pain. With all the crazy shit I can do… I can't do that. We can't change the past. There's no way to kill our demons." 

Loki reached out, using his power of telepathy, and connected all our minds briefly. 

"Loki!" I smiled. The presence of them both in my head was the most comforting and amazing thing I think I'd ever felt!

"What if we went further…" he grinned. "What if I was able to open us to each other, COMPLETELY!"

We looked between us, each contemplating the possibility.

"But there'd be no turning back once the door was opened. And you'd not be able to hide anything. Our minds would be one. We'd be fully immersed in the others' pain, love, fear, regret… lies…" he trailed off.

"What are you saying? We'd relive everything that happened to each other?" 

"What better way to learn of our pasts, who we are, what we've been through. Empathy couldn't begin to describe how we'd be able to feel for each other."

Taking a breath, I knew I couldn't do that.

"Loki…it’s sweet but I can never subject you both to my darkness, not like that," I murmured, turning away from them. 

There is absolutely no way. 

I pushed up to leave but they both held one of my hands and smiled at me.

Damn, the world in those smiles…

"Seriously… I couldn't." 

"Mar… " Bucky squeezed my hand. "I want to share your pain, I need to be able to carry the burden with you." 

I'd remembered Loki telling me almost the same thing so long ago. As I glanced at him he raised an eyebrow acknowledging it as Bucky went on. 

"I don't have much to give you but I've always tried to protect you, to keep you safe as best I could. I've failed more than I've succeeded and it kills me. I don't care what darkness you have, I NEVER did, and you know that. If this could help you… "

Loki squeezed my hand now, drawing my attention to him. "You know we hide as much darkness from you. We all carry so much suffering but we wouldn't be alone in it any longer."

"It's a romantic idea but… "

"Yes, it is, and because we love one another we can do this for each other," he smiled sweetly.

Bucky blushed at the verbalization of his feelings.

Do I do this? Could I face my past again with THEM?  

I was suddenly terrified to show them. 

I choked back my heartache as I thought about how to say what I was thinking, to convince them that this was a bad idea. "I've been through so much, you both know… but the pain of losing my children surpasses ALL of it, tenfold," I looked up to blink the tears back. "There's nothing I can even compare it to. I DON’T want you to feel that. I couldn't take being the one to submit you both to that horror. You talk about protecting ME but I need to protect YOU as well!" 

I pulled away from them, from the temptation to get relief from my deep suffering.

I'd lived with it for so long I know how to shove it down into the deepest depths of my psyche. They don't!

"Mar… " Bucky breathed as I left the room.

Standing on the balcony, the soft breeze calmed me while looking out over Asgard brought me back to reality. I felt grounded again. 

"If what you say is true then I wanna do this even more. If it lessens your pain ANY little bit I'd do it over and over. You don't understand, I NEED to help you," Bucky's arms wrapped around me, the pressure of his grip made me break down against him like a weak fool. 

I cried into my shirt then turned, letting him engulf me. 

"What the hell… Why do I always fall apart when you hold me! I hate this shit," I laughed through the tears.

I felt him smile against me and he squeezed harder. 

"C'mon," he nudged. “It’ll be good for us all,” his expression, soft and caring, made me melt.

How can I say no to this man…

Nodding, I agreed. “If it will help ALL of us.” 

As he led me back to the bed he squeezed my hand in reassurance.

I sat next to Loki again and Buck took his place next to both of us.

"Just remember, I warned you," I sighed, wiping my face again.

"Ready?" 

------------------

We dove into Loki's mind first. Unprepared for any of this, I held on through the emotional journey.

From the moment he was born he seemed unwanted. As he grew others continually pointed it out. He was an outsider in his own home. Only his mother truly accepted him. His light was continually snuffed out by the abuse from others. His little spirit, crushed over and over by the unkind words and torment from the ones that claimed to love him. 

His father, Odin, promised him the world but drew back when the time came, in favor of Thor. There was nothing left. No hope, no future, it all crumbled before his eyes. All the work and torment he'd endured to get here was for nothing. Hate and retribution were the only things that mattered. 

When Odin told him of his past, his lineage, the lie he'd lived, it made sense all of a sudden. All the feelings of loneliness, detachment, it was almost comical to him. He truly was a monster in his own eyes.

The only thing left for Loki was revenge, searing into his soul, and he'd do anything to bring his dreams to fruition and he tried. 

He'd offered everything up to the Chitaouri, to Thanos in return for an army. Torturous pain and emptiness ruled him. In the end, the army failed against The Avengers, against his brother.

Through his mind I felt his regret and guilt choking me. 

I never knew he felt so deeply hurt over New York.

Attempting to escape it all after he stole the Tesseract from Stark, he was caught by the TVA and imprisoned. They tortured him when they tried to get the Tesseract and Space Stone back. 

He’d endured SO much for that damn thing, the damn thing he handed over to ME without much thought. Fuck.

That's when we first met, when I set him free.

Out of the darkness of loss and pain, blinding unexpected love erupted in his soul when he first saw me. The need to do anything to keep the feeling alive was overwhelming. 

Seeing Bucky for the first time through his eyes was enlightening for us both. Loki had been infatuated with him this whole time. 

It was wisped away as quickly as it had begun when Loki made the decision to embed the Tesseract into my body. He had risked ever feeling love again to make me happy!

The pain of losing me was crushing. He’d hidden it so well the time.

I had no idea.

When I saved him from the TVA the second time, he knew what I was giving up to save him, and he was deeply grateful and in love. Again, he had hidden that from me too.

I wished I’d known at the time! He was so arrogant and cocky… I felt like he didn’t really care.

His pride at driving me to recreate the Infinity Stones was immense, almost surpassing his pride of us deceiving everyone at the end of the battle with the Others. 

After that was his utter despair at losing me but his camaraderie with Bucky was growing with their joint quest to take out Strange. 

He didn’t WANT to leave Bucky behind at the Sanctum but he was so lost in the moment of getting me back from the dead, that he didn’t care. He’d vowed to do anything to keep me near. 

We watched as our time on Asgard played out, Loki’s need for us to rule there together grew with each passing day.

Then that moment in the throne room, Loki had thought of a family. He only mentioned it briefly to me so I had no idea deep in his heart he had wanted children. He didn’t even let himself want it after that moment. Knowing my answer, he respected me so much as to let his own dream die, then and there.

I was simultaneously grateful and destroyed. 

Bucky saw his Jotun form. He didn’t react seeing us in that intimate moment but I felt Loki hating this part.  

Then I left him, so quickly he felt like I didn’t care about him any longer, like I was bored of him. He was destroyed and hated himself, starting on a self-destructive path. And he despised ruling with Valkyrie but was too proud to admit it.

When I came back with the power stone he was convinced I was going to die and then when I blew up he only had Bucky. He stayed with him, it helped fill the void of losing me AGAIN.

He was crushed when he saw that Bucky was going to betray him and go to me on his own. He cared for Bucky and he didn't return any of it. So he betrayed Bucky first. 

That led to our time on the island. It was beautiful to him. He would have stayed there forever if Hydra hadn’t appeared and ruined everything. But it was a doorway to getting us both, to Bucky opening up to him. 

We went through his time on Sakar, completely benign and boring, he only sat worrying about the two of us. He was so happy to get us back safely, so happy to have us both in the end, to hear the truth from Bucky and feel his love for him. It was more than he felt he deserved. He took out his immense fear of losing us on Bucky, masked as anger, but Bucky broke through his walls, his connection to him was solidified in that moment. 

In the end, we found out his deepest lie. He holds back his magic! He hides the amount of power he controls because he doesn't trust anyone truly, not even me, and deep down he trusts Bucky more than anyone. He's seen the man’s devotion and loyalty first hand and he craves it, having longed for it his whole life. 

Loki pulled us out. We all sat staring at the center of our circle, overwhelmed, no words. 

"It’s too late to stop now," Loki whispered and I knew it wouldn’t be fair to not continue. 

Bucky was next.

--------------------

His childhood was idyllic. 

Happy parents, a good lifestyle, amazing education. There was not ONE bad experience until Steve’s mother died. He was left with the overwhelming sense to protect him, watch over him. 

Steve was a nightmare. Constantly sick or trying to get himself killed to be the hero. 

When the war started his desire to protect Steve went a step further. He joined the Army to be the hero Steve needed but also desperately hoped Steve couldn’t follow. Bucky spent nights awake worrying about what would happen if he was able to enlist.

His time in Europe played out like a dream. Much of it was distorted still until his unit was captured by Hydra the FIRST time. 

We felt every moment he experienced while he was conscious, the experiments, and interrogation tactics. It was Steve who rescued him. The relief and pride he felt were unmatched but even with Rogers' new found strength, Bucky STILL felt the need to watch over him. 

They continued fighting the war side-by-side until his accident in the mountains. He was all but dead. Hydra found him and the rest I knew but it didn’t make it any easier to experience through his perspective.

All that was left after Hydra’s conditioning was death, pain, and the absence of anything he once was.

Loki, getting to experience it all for the first time, felt like he was going to explode with anger but he held his shit together. 

Embarrassment and rage flooded over me when I saw ME come into his life. I saw what was being done to me through his eyes. There was so much I didn't know… my body spread out on tables, invaded by the doctor. I was sick to watch. I felt Bucky’s regret suddenly, regret that he hadn't KILLED me, regret that he actually WANTED me to die. I let it go, I understood. Even just watching it happen was gruesome and I was grateful for not remembering any of it myself.

It moved on to when we actually met for the first time and continued through our time together in Hydra until the day he killed me. Bucky didn’t feel a thing as he pushed me into the pit, waiting to hear me hit bottom before walking away.

I wasn’t surprised by his apathy, I’d live through that conditioning. There was nothing to forgive Bucky for, it wasn’t him committing those crimes.

Again, Loki’s rage almost ended this as he witnessed it play out first-hand but I felt him come to terms with it, he knew now what it was like being under Hydra’s control. 

For the rest of his time with Hydra there were few waking moments of light, then dark, death and nothingness.

But then Steve came back into his life. He was the one to finally pull Bucky’s mind out from the haze. My guilt for not being the one to free him stabbed me in the gut. 

I never went back for him…

We saw Bucky's final escape from Hydra, his fight with the Avengers and guilt for coming between them, then finally his return to ME in Wakanda. I wasn't prepared for that either. I felt his heart stop when he found out I’d survived that pit, then his need to see me again surpassed his fear.

He REALLY expected me to kill him when he came to my door that day and he was OKAY with it!

He would have been happy to die knowing I was alright. 

Jesus… 

We moved on, experiencing our time in Wakanda together. Once again, I was embarrassed to be watching myself with Bucky, knowing Loki was here as well. I felt every thought he’d had, every emotion, even his hopes and dreams he had for us in those happy moments. 

He’d thought about our future together as he stayed awake at night wondering about a family, a NORMAL life. 

I’d been with him that whole time and I never knew… he'd never talked about it! 

I wanted to scream, hating myself even more for going through with this.

Then re-living our split, knowing how I truly felt, was killing me. He didn’t WANT us to be apart but he blamed himself for making me lose control and getting locked up again in Wakanda. His drive to keep me safe ripped his heart in half and he truly felt that leaving was the best thing for me. So he pushed me away. 

I knew what was next and braced for it. The snap, dust, an unimaginable void. 

Had he even been aware of this at the time?! Was it like a dream that faded from memory after he woke?! 

I’d been lost, dead, before but this… this was nothingness… a TRUE nightmare….

As quickly as it came it was gone, then there was a forest. He regrouped with the others in Wakanda. 

Without time to think he was thrown into the final battle with Thanos. He was hopeful seeing Rogers again, then losing him AGAIN to time was heartbreaking. He accepted Steve’s decision to leave, only wanting him to be happy in the end. He mourned once more for his best friend.

I’d missed ALL of this! I was hurt that he never told me!  

Letting my own reaction go, his life played on. 

After that he worked with Sam and the Avengers again until I showed up at HQ. 

I felt every worry, every heartbeat, every tinge of hate and jealousy he’d felt watching me with the other team members, not having me himself. I felt the walls he built to keep his feelings from spilling out because he thought he was protecting me by staying away. It killed him inside. 

All of this happened on top of his struggle dealing with his time as The Winter Soldier.

Then I dragged Loki into his life. Bucky had vowed to himself to kill him if Loki hurt me. Then when Loki ACTUALLY hurt me he WAS ready to kill him! Truly he was going to. I couldn't imagine how Loki was feeling through this. Knowing someone he loved would have GLADLY tore him apart. Sadly I knew the answer to that after seeing HIS life play out. 

Next, more of me doing stupid shit, getting hurt again but this time was my last, I saw myself in the cryo chamber, presumed dead. Then his relief at me being alive but heartbreak again when I chose to go with Loki over staying with him. When I came back it wasn't any better, I kept tearing his heart out with my bullshit. 

HOW could he forgive ANY of that?!?!  

Feeling the utter heartbreak I caused was unbearable. I wanted to hold him, comfort him, make this end, but we needed to move on but it didn’t get any better.

 I watched through his eyes and felt every emotion as the Skrull weapon I was on exploded.

In the days after that, his time spent alone with Loki changed his perception of the man. He felt protective over him after a while, after their time alone together. He knew Loki meant something to me so he in turn meant something to Bucky. After a while, he became more, however he never showed Loki an ounce of friendship or appreciation. 

Loki was able to see through his eyes now, his feelings for him. Bucky wasn't good at verbally communicating… well.. ANYTHING, let alone his thoughts and feelings, other than anger or murder.

The Hydra dimension brought so much pain back but he persevered for me, for Loki, and then for the other Steve. Before he came through the portal he tried to convince Steve to come with us, tried to save him to make up for the past. But he tried to kill Bucky before he was accidentally pulled into our world. Bucky was SO happy Steve was brought here, even if it was against his will. He didn't care, he only wanted Steve to be safe.

His excitement for having Steve on the team was immense. He hadn't talked about that either. 

The most recent events played out, freshest in his mind. His happiness at the three of us being together bled out along with his deep seated justifiable fear of losing one or both of us. It was comparable to Loki’s and I knew, to my own.

He looked forward to the future after we helped Shuri, that we could all be together… happy, free.

We came out of his head disheveled and disoriented. 

I reached out to hold Bucky’s hand and he looked over sadly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…” he uttered. 

“For what? Don't be, don't do that!” Loki snarled. “It is amazing, your life, knowing you now more than myself.”

Buck’s face flushed and he looked at me. I flashed him a supportive grin but my gut sank.

“Fuck… it’s my turn, hu?” I was petrified. 

--------------------

“I’m sorry, I’m SO SO SORRY! I FUCKING TOLD you…”

They were both devastated, broken, unable to move. Bucky’s fists were clenched and trembling; Loki was two shades paler than normal. 

“I HATE myself for going through with this!” tears fell, I couldn't stop them.

They felt everything, as if they were me, experiencing it for the first time. It didn't get easier after the loss of my children. My self hate, abuse from Hydra, deaths that followed me, then torture, imprisonment, and utter helplessness. 

Then the lies, the things I'd done to others, to THEM. They saw that I lied about not being able to get pregnant, that I actually didn't want families with EITHER of them. Bucky saw how Loki and I deceived everyone when I battled the Others but now he saw it through my eyes. Loki saw me lie about not actually being poisoned by Hela. The severity of the injury and helplessness were an act to push him out of his comfort zone, and none of which we told Bucky about. 

It went on and on.

They had been fully immersed in my addiction to power. Experienced the hunger I have deep down for the Infinity Stones and my Tesseract energy. They felt my struggle with giving up the other stones and how I'd plotted to one day get them ALL back… the real reason I wanted to hide them myself where no one else could find them.

Would they hate me for all this? Could they forgive me? Of the three of us I had sinned the most, betrayed the most. Was I lost to them now? 

But they also saw the good parts. As complicated as it was, they saw how I came to love and trust them differently but just as much as the other. And they saw how I felt about their relationship, how open I was to it, and how I’d cultivated it from the beginning, knowing they'd be good for each other. 

I had re-lived both of their lives with them. Felt everything they felt, experienced everything they'd experienced. I held no grudge for the things I saw even though they feared I would. I prayed they would react the same to mine.

MY lies, hopes, dreams, and fears were splayed out in front of us as well. 

Holding my breath, I waited…

“Where do we even begin…” I dropped my face into my hands, unable to bring myself to make eye contact.

"Having lived it THROUGH YOU we know exactly why you did those things as YOU know why we had done what we had done, felt what we've felt," Loki's soft words calmed me slightly.

His hands went to mine, lowering them to catch my gaze.

"I'm sorry," I murmured again.

"No, none of us are without sin, flaws," he smiled. "None of us need apologize!"

I rested my forehead on his and smiled back.

Bucky was still and quiet, eyes focused on the bed between us. We watched, waiting for a reaction, or ANYTHING from him.

Moments passed and my anxiety became unbearable.

“Bucky, say something,” I frowned, terrified at what he might have to say.

"I'm the reason for your nightmares… the reason you refuse to sleep for days or weeks… MONTHS on end sometimes," his voice cracked with torment. "The pit… when I pushed you. That's what haunts you…" 

I hated myself even more now that I couldn't keep that from him! My body started to tremble knowing I was causing MORE of his pain. I had no words; I was disgusted with myself.

Feeling my anguish, Loki reached out to him, placing his hand on his shoulder. "But it wasn't YOU… she knows that… YOU know that." 

As if hearing it from someone else actually helped, something in Bucky shifted and he relaxed.

I pulled him to me, digging my hands into his back. I held on as tight as I dared then cupped his face in my hands.

“I love you, and I trust you. You’ve just experienced that for yourself. It is the reason for my nightmares but it's not YOU, and it’s NOT your fault.” 

I tucked his hair away from his eyes and kissed him, praying it would heal his pain if only a little.

---------------------

Chapter 17

---------------------

The next day felt like a whole new world to us. There was a clarity beyond our wildest dreams, of each other, of ourselves.

We'd dropped our walls and it felt amazing but I was still worried about what was about to go down. Every time we engaged in a fight something awful would happen. I couldn't shake off the sense of impending doom and concern that we didn't know enough about what we were getting into. 

As the team started getting their shit together to finally head to Wakanda, my nervousness was noticed by Loki.

"Are you not ready to play Gods again, my love?" Loki brushed the hair away and cradled my cheek, staring deeply into my eyes.

Also still not fully able to come to terms with my need to be all-powerful, I turned away without answering.

Was THAT the actual issue?

"You're completely normal, Marina. Anyone I've known with power craves it… but it's what you do with it that makes you who you are. And you can be anyone, good, bad, indifferent… anything. There are no rules," he grinned, believing in every word.

While true, it didn't seem like that was my issue. 

"I'm definitely not normal," I joked. “But I do like the NO RULES part."

He began to recite some speech so I shut him up quickly by kissing him and grabbing his butt. 

"Let's get this shit show on the road," I smiled and headed to corral the others.

--------------------

Rocket groaned as he walked passed, adjusting his flight suit then buckled into the captain's seat with a huge, toothy yawn.

"So how does this work, Loki?"

"How should I know," he huffed, crossing his arms. "I only made it, I've no clue what it's supposed to do." 

"Alright… here we go again! Wingin' it I guess!" Quill smiled, seemingly happy to NOT have a plan.

"Love it!" Gamora snarked.

No wonder I was a mess. 

Not knowing if we needed to inject them, feed it to them, or douse them in it, we prepped all sorts of weapons with the extra compound. Grenades, bullets, arrows, whatever we could think of.

“Have we covered all our baseballs?” Rocket asked as Bucky choked laughing.

“It’s bases, Rocket,” Steve corrected politely to my amusement.

“You suck at sports references,” Quill jabbed. 

Rocket growled and continued his tinkering, mumbling something about shooting Quill in the ass. 

Bucky loaded syringes and tucked them into various pockets on his black leather jacket, tied his hair back and slid on a pair of gloves.

The slingshot was the funniest. As I handed it to Drax he thwapped himself with the elastic.

“ALL SET!” Gamora called.

Using the space stone, I brought the ship to the edge of Wakanda’s capital city.

-------Wakanda------

--------Loki--------

The confrontation was all but won. We drew the people out onto the plains easily enough and our concoction worked marvelously as we distributed it through their ranks. 

Grateful Wakandans praised us for their salvation, as they should. We had rescued their entire country. 

Their friend Shuri sat in the battle field hugging Marina. 

“We have a lot to fix up there,” Shuri gestured to her city. “But it is not completely gone yet, there is still a remnant below us.” she frowned, knowing what the hive mind knew.

“Go! Take everyone and raise the shield around the city!” Marina ordered. 

Before she left us, Shuri explained the subterranean tunnels and caverns, how they were vast and disorienting due to the vibranium they held. There were no maps or guidance systems to navigate them. Even Marina’s gifts were unsure to work. 

Marina held her friend's shoulder and promised she’d be alright. 

“If the last of it’s underground, we’ll get it!” Marina grinned madly with the excitement of battle.

Gathering the hurt and addled Wakandans, Shuri led them up the hill toward the city gates.

“I’d never imagined we’d be fighting Zombies, side-by-side,” Barnes joked, wiping the dirt from his face. 

“I’m just glad we got here when we did!” Rocket squinted at the giant pillar type object the hive mind had been forcing the Wakandans to build. 

In the center of the savannah, stood a black stone monolith laced with vibranium standing at least twelve meters high which even had me stumped as to its purpose. 

The rest of the team gathered in front of it while Rocket scanned the surface. 

“So no plan… that’s the way to go from now on,” Quill commanded, happy with himself.

“How much is left?” Mar walked up, holding out her hand. I showed her the last little vial of the antidote but didn't allow her to take it, making it disappear before she could grab it.

“You’re done, Marina.” I ordered.

She laughed until she realized I was serious, then glared at me. 

“Funny. Hand it over, Laufeyson,” she was truly dreadful when she used that name. 

“I am Groot.” 

“He’s right. We need to chill for a few minutes before the Boss fight,” Rocket huffed over to her as he sat on a boulder nearby, typing on his scanner.

“Fine,” she turned, wandering off to investigate the structure with the others.

I took the opportunity of their distraction to slip away. I was going to finish this myself. After what Shuri said about the caverns, I was not about to let them all be lost to the bowels of this place! 

----------Mar----------

Loki’s eyes, white and dead, stared into my soul as I fought to keep his mind from touching mine. I struggled just as hard to keep my rage under control, wanting to incinerate everything around me. 

“LOKI! YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THIS!” 

I don't know why I even tried… I could tell he was gone. I couldn't sense his mind. Tears broke free, falling past my lips.

Why did I follow him down here alone!? It’s too late now, I can’t call for help! 

FUCK! What do I do!?!

The darkness that flowed out of him in swirling tendrils surpassed the darkness of the caverns. It was a void, a vacuum of light, not the bright green shimmer of his usual power. It was corrupt, vile, terrifying.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH HIM??!!” 

“WHAT ARE YOU!?”

Frantic for answers, I scrambled to buy time to fight this… this THING inside him.

“This was your pathetic attempt to control me?” he snarled, holding up the last of the antidote. Loki’s voice never sounded so evil as this entity spoke through him. 

Tossing the vile, the cure was sucked into the void behind him, lost forever. 

“I’LL MAKE MORE AND I'LL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!!” I growled.

Out of desperation, I broke my own mental barrier, opening my mind, determined to annihilate this thing on MY turf. Losing control of my anger, the Power Stone felt it, needed it. 

I’ll let it into my mind and then release the Power Stone into myself! If this is what it takes…

"Fuck the consequences!" I roared, ready to damn myself to save Loki.

I felt the entity at the precipice of my consciousness as I prepared to destroy it but the thing didn't enter, it withdrew.

“COWARD!!!” 

What else could I do if not take him head on!? 

My thoughts raced. I was trash at outthinking my enemies! 

Loki knew that about me so does this entity know that now too?! 

THINK MAR!

TRAP IT!

This would HAVE to work at least until we could figure a way to get this thing out of him safely! 

IT’S ALL I HAVE!

Gathering strength, I unleashed the power of the stones to build a prison. As the rock around us seethed, the vibranium inside it flowed out in silver rivers. Pulling and pulling, I willed a cage to begin to form around him. 

Commanding Loki’s distorted magic, that thing hurled its black tendrils toward me. They twisted and flew past me, encircling my position.

“ALMOST…” I groaned under my breath, using too much energy to keep the dark fingers at bay. 

But they didn’t come for me! 

Instead they pulled the cavern down onto our heads.

--------Bucky--------

“Earthquake!! Now what?!” Steve shouted.

“Where is Coal!?” Rocket ran over to us as the soil cracked and shifted under our feet.

Running backwards, we avoided falling into the huge crevice that formed with the thundering quake.

“MAR!? LOKI?!” 

“Where the hell did they go?!” panic hit my throat when I realized it had been a few minutes since I'd seen them both! 

“Shit…” I heard Steve growl as he turned.

Loki had emerged from the rubble behind him and was carrying Mar, headed down the hill towards the monolith.

“What the hell is he doing!? MARINA!”

I ran after them with Steve and Rocket on my heels. 

Loki stopped, tossed her to the ground next to him as if she were a bag of garbage, and faced us. 

WHAT THE…

“No…” the breath escaped as I clenched my fists. 

“Buck, RUN!” Steve shoved me as Loki shot black magic towards us. 

“Get out of range!” he ordered.

“What the hell IS his range?!” Rocket shouted the question and jumped behind a mound of dirt as I realized no one actually knew the extent of his abilities. 

“We have to get to Coal!” Steve yelled, I could hear the panic in his voice. 

I forced myself to block out thoughts of her not surviving this, thoughts of her already dead in the dirt.

Steve’s hand grabbed me, pulling me away from a black tendril that was coming right for my head, and pushed me behind the upheaved rocks.

“Snap out of it!” he shouted.

The others attacked from the opposite direction with everything they had, to no effect. 

There was no match for whatever was going on with his magic!

I’d never seen him do anything like this!

“LOKI!” jumping out to confront him, I had no idea what I was going to say, just that I needed to do SOMETHING. “That’s enough, Loki! Why?!” I stepped closer… something was off…

His eyes… 

This isn't happening…  

He’s… gone. 

“No..." I growled. “You’re not Loki, are you… What do you want?” 

“It is not a question of what I want but of what IT wants.” 

His cryptic answer sent chills down my spine. The closer I got to him the better I could make out his features… eyes white, skin gray… he was a corpse speaking to me. 

The crushing pain forced the air from my lungs. 

Taking advantage of his distraction, Drax flew from the precipice behind him, knives drawn like a fool. 

“Hmmmm,” Loki smirked as Drax was consumed by the darkness, he was gone in an instant but returned through the void, falling to the ground next to Marina. 

Nebula and Mantis followed, lobbing grenades and firing shots that never hit their target. The ammunition was absorbed into the dark magic. 

Loki turned laughing, making his way towards the monolith. 

“What the hell is he doin’ now?” Rocket yelled over.

“I have no fucking clue!” Steve growled. 

---------------------

Chapter 18

---------------------

--------Mar--------

“It’s running. It fucking KNOWS I'll win…”

I rolled to my side, spitting the dirt out of my mouth as Bucky slammed to his knees next to me. 

“OH THANK FUCKING GOD!” he cursed with relief and tried to hold me but held back. “Are you hurt?!”

“Yep. totally dead,” I joked, smiling the best I could with a broken heart. Sitting up slowly, I took in all the destruction around us. 

Loki and the monolith were nowhere to be seen. The savannah was destroyed, cleaved down the center. Rocks and slabs of earth continued to fall into the chasm.

“Drax!” Nebula screamed at us as she held him in her lap, her frantic demeanor scaring the shit out of me. “He’s not waking up! Help him, Coal!”

She was NEVER scared! This is bad!

I jumped to go to his side, almost falling, but Steve braced my arm. He held me steady as I knelt next to Drax. 

Reaching into Drax’ body, I couldn't find anything physically wrong! 

“No wounds, no neurological damage,” I mumbled in confusion.

Fuck!

"MANTIS! He needs your help!" I shouted over.

In a second she was at his side, holding his head in her lap.

“No…" Mantis paused, shaking her head, not wanting to believe this was happening. “It's his mind… I can’t… I can’t feel him… I feel NOTHINGNESS!" 

She covered her mouth to stop the sob.

It was too much. I slumped to my side, punched the dirt, and broke. 

-------The Benatar------

Aching for the missing piece of us, I stared out the window unable to shake this strangling grief.

“Is he dead?” I croaked to Bucky when he came to sit next to me.

“You know I can’t answer that,” his voice was just as raw in its pain. "We'll figure it out, baby. Come 'er." 

He grabbed me hard, holding my head to his chest and ran his fingers through my hair. 

As I cried into his shirt I felt his chest heaving with me. We were a disaster.

"I knew we were too happy… it had to take it all away didn't it!? Fuck Karma, FUCK THE UNIVERSE! I'm going to burn it all down if we can’t get him…"

"Shhhh, don't! DON'T say it Mar… it's not gonna happen… it HASN'T HAPPENED!" he snarled confidently through his grief. "I made a promise we'd always be there for him. We'll get him back. I'll die tryin’."

I squeezed hard, thankful to have him, knowing we'd BOTH die trying.

--------------------

We'd brought Drax to Asgard, leaving him in the best hands with their technology. Nebula and Mantis stayed there by his side to help.

The remainder of our team was tattered and exhausted. We used the energy we had left to search the cosmos for Loki, or whatever that thing was inside him.

Weeks passed without the slightest trace or clue as we drifted through space.

I even tried unleashing the power of both stones to WILL him to us but THAT didn't even work.

"When is enough, enough?" Rocket asked carefully, concerned with my mental state.

"We're still waiting on Strange's information," Steve answered for me. "It's too soon to make that call," he looked over with sadness and empathy in his eyes. 

"I miss him… I miss our connection. I never thought I'd want him in my head annoying me more than I do right now."

"I know…" Bucky smiled sadly as he rested his forehead on mine.

Quill and Gamora exchanged smiles and held hands. I knew they were concerned as well but they were also grateful to still have each other.

"Get some rest. We'll start again in a few hours," Steve nodded.

Bucky and I left, falling onto the bunk. 

“What kind of God am I if I can't keep the people I love safe!? I don't want this! I don't want to be in control any more!”

Right then I denounced my God status to him, cursing my so-called gifts once again. 

“Maybe I'm just something else… a demon? The devil?” 

“We're both, Gods and Devils,” he grinned sadly and pulled me on top of him, kissing my forehead. “Depending on what side you're on.”

“You sound just like him...” I mumbled, fighting my trembling lip.

Again, I hadn't slept in weeks and the effects crept up. My mind shut down and all that was left was darkness. 

Maybe I'd find him there…

--------------------

I woke to Bucky squeezing me close like a teddy bear.

My hair and pillow were damp from tears. Licking my lips, I tasted the salt.

His warmth was life and I loved feeling his breath against my neck. We had each other and I was grateful for every moment but I couldn't lie still. I needed to continue searching.

I crept away to find the others.

"So tell us again what happened down there. Maybe we missed something," Rocket insisted.

“I noticed Loki running off to the caverns alone so I followed. I'd lost him underground for what seemed like an eternity but when I found him it was too late. That THING had taken over his mind and power already. I didn't see it happen. So not knowing any other way to fight it other than head on, I opened my mind to it. I wanted to fight it on MY turf. When that didn't work I did the only other thing I could think of, trap him. He collapsed the cavern before I could do it though. That was the last thing I remembered until I woke up in the dirt.” I groaned at the memory. “I think it only wanted Loki for his psychic capabilities all along. It knew it couldn't overpower me and wanted nothing to do with MY mind.”

Normally that would've been the part where everyone snapped a sarcastic comment or perfect insult but the wounds were still too fresh.

"It's afraid of me, I could sense it."

“Makes sense why it disappeared with that monolith,” Rocket rubbed his tiny chin, deep in thought.

“It’s gonna stay as far away as possible then. I feel like it doesn't want to destroy anything, only take it over. Grow? Expand its reach maybe? It won't take the offensive.” Steve held his chin in thought, mirroring Rocket. 

“Strange is on the coms!” Quill alerted suddenly from the flight deck.

“Tell him to get everyone to his Sanctum. We could use all the help we can on this,” Steve ordered. 

“Nope… he ACTUALLY said NOPE!” Quill started mumbling something to himself. “He said to go to Avenger’s HQ instead!” 

“Why?” Bucky questioned as he came up to the table.

“He said don’t worry about it!” Quill yelled then mumbled something again about spiders.

“Suspicious fuckin’ wizard!” Bucky sneered, holding the bridge of his nose.

“FINE!” Steve groaned. “Tell him to get everyone there! NOW!”

“Hold on!” I shouted, bringing the ship to HQ almost instantly. 

-------Avengers HQ---------

-----------Bucky----------

“WE NEED HER!! HOW COULD YOU JUST LET HER DISAPPEAR?!?! AND HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHERE SHE IS!?!” She screamed at Fury, furiously. We’d expect to have Wanda on this one, and Mar wasn't taking ‘no’ for an answer!

“THIS ISN’T A PRISON, COAL!” He shouted back, slamming his hand on the table in front of her.

“He’s either the stupidest or the bravest man I know!” Rocket whispered up to me as I agreed, slightly terrified. 

“... AND NOT EVEN A GOD-DAMNED THANK YOU FOR SAVING WAKANDA!?! We totally did YOUR job and you're holding out on THIS!?!” she was ready to explode. “We had to fight fucking RATS AND ZOMBI…”

“Hey, he gets it,” I stepped up, interrupting her, pulling her away from the table. Also the stupidest or bravest thing I could have done.

Not breaking her stare with Director Fury, I moved her to stand next to me as Strange’s portal broke the tension.

He stepped out, looking extremely disheveled himself. 

“What the hell’ve you been doin?” Rocket glared.

“None of your business,” he stated, simply.

“Okay...” Rocket folded his arms, dejected.

As Banner joined us, Strange began explaining what he knew. My stomach twisted, waiting to hear what he’d uncovered on this thing. I prepared for the worst and held Mar’s shoulder, hoping to make her feel like she wasn’t alone. 

“It's interdimensional. The dark tendrils were psychic connections to its original dimension but they are too weak to create a permanent opening. That's what the monolith is for. It's a gateway. It needs a powerful psychic energy to open it, I’m assuming that's why it chose Loki. It needs his power to bring its true form into THIS dimension.”

He paused, looking out at all of our hanging jaws, then cleared his throat and continued. 

“The good news is I’ve dealt with something similar. The bad news is I had to drive it into madness to break its hold on our dimension.” 

His matter of fact tone was NOT gonna go over well with Mar. I waited for her to vaporize this man at any second, but it didn’t happen. She turned and walked out without a word before Strange had even finished. 

--------------------

I tracked her to the bench where we once had our fight. Laughing to myself at how ignorant I was then, I also felt like nothing had changed. 

She sat with a vacant expression, thinking of god-knows-what. 

“Hey, there you are,” just seeing her made me smile. “Mar… he’s not dead. You left before Strange explained that it would need him ALIVE to use his power!” I expected the news would have gotten a better reaction but her blank face grew a scowl. 

“It doesn't matter… his body might be alive but he’s never coming back to us. It’s over,” she swallowed hard, holding down a sob. “I knew it since I reached into Drax… I just… I couldn't accept it. I needed to hear it from Strange. That thing won't let go of him without destroying his mind,” her cold, distant tone scared the shit out of me.

“No… I mean, I’m not accepting that!”

She turned to look me in the eye. I could tell SHE had come to terms with that outcome but I refused. 

“Well, whatever you wanna believe. Banner is working on a way to find him as we speak! Tracing interdimensional anomalies or something like that,” huffing, I turned and stormed off and mumbled curse words I didn’t care if she heard or not. 

I was beyond hurt. 

She’d given up and we both promised we wouldn’t!

--------Mar--------

I couldn't bring myself to search any longer. I almost DIDN'T want to find him now. I didn't want to know what the team was doing. I didn't want to hear about any hopeful plans or positive outcomes. I needed to accept it was over. 

The sooner the better…

Keeping to myself, I avoided all of them, hiding wherever they WEREN’T. Deep in the woods surrounding the compound was the only place I found solitude but my despair still found me. Like a bad friend, it had only been waiting in the wings for my next disaster.

Dawn broke and as the sun cracked the horizon I felt hollow knowing we'd never watch a sunrise together again, never laugh together, never kiss.

I had failed him in the most devastating way possible. Not only was he trapped waiting for me but I knew there was no saving him. 

His only salvation would be death…

My jaw clenched as I bit my tongue, bathing myself in physical pain to overcome my broken heart and suffocating guilt.

Loki had gone into a fucking PARALLEL UNIVERSE to save me! He'd risked everything over and over for me and now I couldn't help HIM!

Self loathing burned hot in my gut.

Weak knees slammed to the forest floor. Grinding my fingers into the soil, I screamed out to the trees. "I'M SO SORRY!!!"

The words fell on no ears; my head rested on the ground in front of me.

Falling into memories of my own experience being puppeted by my evil doppelganger, I sat and played them out, torturing myself the best I could as punishment. 

I deserved this suffering…

--------------------

The night time melody of insects and frogs brought me back to the present. As I sat up the mental fog lifted and I noticed that the sun had set.

I'd been frozen here for hours in waking dreams and nightmares.

But there was something… something about it that made sense, something I couldn't grasp. 

As the cool night air cleared my mind, I remembered what it was.

"Hydra… " I murmured out to the fireflies.

---------------------

Chapter 19

---------------------

--------Bucky-------

Marina flew through the door of the lab, covered in leaves and dirt, clambering over words, stuttering something about Hydra and a doctor. 

It had been days since I'd seen her and I was too relieved she was back to be mad anymore.

"SLOW DOWN!" Banner rushed over to hold her steady. "WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" 

She closed her eyes and paused, calming herself.

"HYDRA!" She shouted.

Steve's nervousness spiked visibly as he looked around the room.

We'd been sitting here in the lab going over the newest results of Banner's tracker when she interrupted so he was not prepared for this whatsoever.

"Mar…" I smiled and went to her. "Tell us what you're trying to say, start from the beginning, start slow." 

Her hand grabbed my arm and she smiled back. Her eyes said she was sorry without her mouth saying a word.

"Ok… please tell me I'm crazy and this is stupid… Hydra. The OTHER Hydra had taken evil me's mind OUT of my… I mean HER body. The Doctor stored it somehow and later used something to download it into me."

We all sat silently, waiting to hear if there was more to her idea.

Please God let there be more, I groaned to myself.

It would break my heart even more to have to tell her she was actually crazy, to destroy any bit of hope she'd managed to muster these last few days. 

"How could that help Loki? It just doesn't make sense. I'm sorry," Steve commented before I could.

Her mood fell as she looked at me for support. I had nothing. Crushed, she turned to leave.

"Wait… wait…what did Hydra do? Explain the mind download thing, Mar," Banner interjected, tapping his hulk sized pen to his hulk sized head.

She explained how the doctor's procedure worked as best she could.

Looking to Steve to fill in the gaps, he was reluctant to think back but when he did he wasn't much help. He hadn't been a part of its development with the doctor.

We still had nothing.

"What if… hear me out!" she snapped. "What if we go back there, to the creepy Hydra world, and steal the doctor’s research?!"

"So if we can get to Loki… maybe we can force the thing out, or pull it out, and get it to attach to a recording device of some kind…" Banner's eyes lit up with possibilities. "He'd have to be on Earth for the physics to work…" he trailed off as he thought it through.

Mar smiled at him like he was the hero we needed.

Stupidly, I felt a tinge of jealousy over their relationship. Always kinda had. He'd been there for her when I wasn't… when I WANTED to be, when that was all I wanted in the world. Back then I was a fucking idiot. 

I still smiled. She was glowing with hope and it looked amazing on her.

"I'll go, alone," Steve stood. "A team would be too hard to manage there. One guy would be able to get the job done easily. Plus I know my way around their compound," his voice was shaky but I knew he was strong in his resolve.

Mar's eyes, already red with the strain of the situation, glinted with tears as she grabbed him for a hug.

"Steve… thank you." 

--------------------

"This is insanity, Coal!" Strange yelled as the gateway to the alternate universe closed behind Rogers.

"Please tell me you can get him back! If we’ve sent him there and he gets stuck forever…." my gut clenched at the thought of him trapped with Hydra again.

I should have gone with him… fuck.

"No promises," Strange’s furrowed brow did NOT instill confidence in the situation. "This is the craziest thing I've done… well, in a while at least… Tampering with the multiverse is incredibly dangerous… and um, unpredictable at best."

Again, we put one of our lives in his hands. Ironic that the one we were trying to save had actually crushed said hands at one point.

"STRANGE… good news only," Mar growled.

"It's fine. It will be fine," he insisted.

He’s only got about an hour to find what we're looking for, that’s not enough time, this isn't going to work…

I kept my thoughts to myself. Sharing them wouldn’t be helpful OR appreciated.

We waited; Mar paced. 

Sure enough, Steve's beacon went off! The wizard opened the gateway once more and Steve stepped out, unharmed to all our relief. 

We stood breathless, waiting for confirmation of whether he'd gotten the data from the other universe or not.

---------Mar---------

“You have the most advanced lab in the solar system…cough… after Shuri’s... cough… and don't have anything other than an old laptop?!”

I HAD to give him grief over this, it was just too easy. 

“When is this even from… the Dark Ages?!” I joked, turning it over to inspect the piece of junk.

“Hey…” he frowned, snatching it from me. “I got it from a Skrull last summer. I thought it was pretty cool.”

“All our hopes are resting on this fossil of technology.”

“It’ll work great, I promise! I miss that scrawny jerk too, ya know.”

Apologizing under my breath, I’d forgotten they had been friends.

Wandering around the lab, I stopped to scroll through a 3D projection of the mind device Banner and Rocket were reverse engineering from the one Steve retrieved from the alternate Hydra.

I missed this. Missed hanging out with him, learning new things.

“DON’T!! MAR!!” Banner ordered, making me jump. 

“SHIT! Did I fuck it up!?!” I panicked. “You just make it look so fun, swiping away at those things!”

He rushed over, pushing me out of the way to check the screen as I held my breath. 

Wouldn't it just be my luck that I’d delete the data Steve risked his life retrieving.

“No, it’s fine. Just don't touch anything else!” he demanded.

Holding my hands up in defeat, I left him in the lab to work on the thing alone.

--------------------

“As soon as Banner is done with his tests, I’ll be ready to draw Loki out of the Gap Junction.”

Strange didn’t bother describing the eccentricities of interdimensional travel or the workings of the multiverse to this group and I didn’t blame him. It would have been a HUGE waste of time.

“So where is this gonna go down?” Rocket asked as he toiled on some random weapon.

“Traditional munitions wont work on him,” Strange insisted, not answering the question.

His statement went in one of Rocket's ears and right out the other.

“It’s just his thing,” Bucky explained as he sat slumped over, a ball of nerves. 

“I’m not used to seeing you so… like THIS,” I stood in front of him and slowly started rubbing his shoulders hoping it would help.

“Cause you’ve always been on the other end of the rescue,” he joked timidly.

“Hmmm,” I frowned, trying to think of a retort but coming up empty. “You have a point,” leaning down, I kissed the top of his head. "Who's gonna give the inspirational speech then, ME? I’M gonna have to be the positive one?” 

Fuckn’ hell…

Steve sat next to Bucky and laughed at me. “Give it a try! You might surprise yourself,” he teased.

“Nobody's gonna believe it," I rolled my eyes.

Hating this, I turned to talk to the team. 

Quill and Gamora were out of earshot and ignored me waving them over.

Rocket was too wrapped up in his stuff to pay any attention to ANYTHING. 

The rest weren't even in the room.

Whatever, here goes…

"We got this! Let's go kick some ass!" I cheered, fist in the air and a fake smile. 

"See… no one cares," I laughed.

“Wakanda,” Strange finally answered Rocket’s question as he shook his head at me. 

After doing the weird thing with his hands, a gold portal opened revealing the plains where it all happened. 

The ground was still shattered and fragmented from the collapse of the cavern.

Stepping through, I was confident and terrified at the same moment. 

On the other side, Banner had already set up his equipment and was waiting for us.

"Is that my old Faraday cage?" I questioned Bruce, eyebrow raised.

Pieces of what looked like scrap metal were strewn in a crude circle around the area where the monolith once stood. Three tall objects resembling Tesla Coils were triangulated in the center, framing what looked like a teleportation pad.

"Most of it," he scratched his head, grimacing, "I didn't think you'd care. I needed the vibranium.”

"Definitely don't," I smiled, kind of relieved to see it in pieces.

"When Banner gives the signal he's ready I'll summon the entity through a rift in our dimension," Strange announced, as he gestured to the pad.

---------------------

Chapter 20

---------------------

Clouds of black billowed around us in a whirlwind but soon calmed and faded into nothing. 

"It failed?" I asked Strange, in utter disbelief.

He looked at me, shocked himself. 

I thought his ego wouldn't allow him to think he had failed!!

Seconds passed then minutes. No one moved. 

I held my breath, throat tight, as Bucky held my hand.

A low, almost inaudible rumble caught my attention. As the team began reacting to the sound, the ground began to tremble.

"Strange… Is this you?" Banner asked nervously.

"No… might want to take a few steps... " Strange didn't finish his sentence as the ground erupted and light spewed out. 

The gateway to the Gap Junction appeared in the center of the metal circle. Little by little, a form manifested up through the opening, into our universe.

"LOKI!!" My heart stopped and I went to run into the melee to grab him but Bucky held tight.

"NO! Mar! Wait!!" he ordered, stopping me from my reckless impulse.

"BANNER! NOW!! Before he can get free!!!" Strange called out through the roar of the energy being released around us. 

Bruce triggered the trap. Between the coils, tendrils of plasma shot out, creating a cage of blue and purple light, hotter than the sun. 

As they surrounded Loki, I prayed they would hold!

"This better work!" I yelled to Bucky. We were both shaking.

“What’s happening now!?” Banner roared to Strange.

Below Loki, the opening had started to transform, or warp, and a completely different reality  was visible through the gap junction.

“The entity’s universe! It’s bleeding through!”

That world was dark but awash in silver and gold, the ground a deep purple. Beautiful in its own right. We could make out mountains or cliffs, a road maybe, and what could have been structures. 

"Monoliths! Look at them all!!" My mouth hung open at the sight. They dotted the land. 

"Incredible…" Banner muttered. “But they’re activating!”

In the distant landscape, blackness began shooting up from each spire.

“SEAL IT!” Banner panicked!

With Strange's final spell, the rift was sealed shut. 

Loki’s body stayed suspended in the plasma field. Being held by the energy, he was unable to return to that world. 

As the last of the gateway’s light wisped away, I realized we’d done it! We'd gotten him out of there!

I looked to Banner for what was next but he was standing completely still. 

Turning in circles, I panicked… 

What?! How?!

THEY WERE ALL IMMOBILIZED! Paralyzed! 

The drifting particles around us were frozen in place, the plasma field hung in the air like a painting. 

"What the fu…" my mouth stopped mid sentence; my body locked.

"You thought you could overpower me, trap me," the Entity spoke to me in thoughts. 

It’s gonna fight back…

"Try it," I taunted in my head, inviting it in.

I wanted this! My turf!

Its consciousness attacked, the internal violence shaking me to my core. 

Never having fought with anything in this way, I let my instincts take over. I envisioned wrapping my own energy around its mind, engulfing it. 

I took hold.

All my hate, my pain, my burden of Loki’s and Bucky’s trauma, THREE LIVES WORTH OF SUFFERING unloaded into this being in a psychic torrent it was never expecting.

Retreating, it was damaged and overwhelmed, knowing it couldn't win.

In that same moment, it lost its control over the team! 

Banner acted, signaling Rocket. “NOW!!”

Whipping out the gun he'd been working on, he fired it at Loki.

A tethered projectile wrapped around him, jolting his body. As soon as it hit, Banner flipped a switch. 

Loki stilled.

Banner hammered the buttons on his instrument panel then the laptop keyboard, then paused. 

Please… please… please… be okay! I need you to be okay…

A quiet beep pulsed through the silence. 

"It ummm…. It actually flippin’ WORKED! It’s done… the Entity was pulled out!” Bruce cheered.

Bucky and I stared at Loki. lifeless, he hung in the air like a scarecrow on an invisible post.

“He… he should be free…”

"I can't sense him… Can you?" I murmured to Buck.

"No… GOD damn it… I was hoping you were gonna say YOU could…." turning to me slowly Bucky’s face drew pale as short panicked breaths heaved out of me.

"Bucky… " I didn't know what to say or do. 

As Banner shut down the force field Loki was released, his body falling. But in that instant I was next to him, stopping the descent. I slowly landed on the ground with him in my arms. 

Bucky was at my side seconds after and Banner was right behind. 

“Is he…"

"He's alive… but I… I can't sense his mind, Banner…" I died delivering the news to them. 

Bucky and I held Loki's mindless body as we sat staring at each other in disbelief.

"This isn't happening… that was supposed to go a different way," I murmured. "We were supposed to SAVE you…” resting my forehead to his I wished with all of me I could do something. Helpless and defeated, I slumped onto him, numb from grief and resentment. 

Bucky collapsed on top of me, trembling, unable to say a word. 

------Asgard------

We took turns with our vigil, not risking the slim possibility of him waking up alone.

My turn ended and Bucky ushered me out, despite my objections. Smiling, he ordered me to get some fresh air.

As I roamed the garden without purpose, something made me pause. Unknowingly, I had brought myself to the courtyard where we used to train together. 

I sighed as my sadness welled up. Closing my eyes I thought back to our time there. 

Would we ever be able to talk again? Hold each other?  

My mind spun with all the things we'd never be able to do.

A hand rested on my shoulder but I didn't get startled. I was numb. 

"Welcome back,” Drax’ voice spoke from behind me. 

"WHAT!!?!!" I flew around with the jolt of adrenaline to see him standing there, in the flesh. "DRAX!!" I screamed, flinging my arms around him. “You're okay!”

He hesitated a moment then hugged me back in his charming, awkward way.

"HOW!!??"

"Mantis," he smiled.

"Where?"

"No… Mantis is how." 

"WHAT!?"

"THAT'S WHY!" he growled, frustrated.

Gamora walked over, stopping our confusing exchange.

"Let ME explain… “ she groaned. “Over time Mantis was able to guide him back into his consciousness!" 

Her simple explanation made everything else clear as day.

“WHEN!?” 

---------------------

Chapter 21

---------------------

--------LOKI--------

There was nothing until there was her.

Then a road back to myself.

Smells, sounds, sensations of my skin touching cloth…

Lips, rough and eager, against mine.

--------------------

"That was quite the harrowing ordeal!" I joked as they took turns berating me over my stupidity while simultaneously declaring their love for me, over and over.

 "I'd been there so many times… in that darkness… " she murmured as she fell to my chest.

"Marina, without your familiarity of the dark, I would not have found him, he was so far away," Mantis nodded and quietly left us.

"To say I was lost wouldn’t come close to describing where I was," I smiled at Marina, trying to cover my sadness when she sat up to look at me. 

Knowing her mind as my own from our time within it, I knew exactly WHY she was so familiar with the void of death. 

"You've become stronger than you've ever been." she hummed.

“Only because of you. Of you both.” I kissed her hand in gratitude and grinned at Barnes.

"Stop trying to weasel out of this, Loki!" Barnes glared down. "You didn't have to go into those caverns alone!" his hurt and worry bled out.

"Ah, but…" 

He yanked me up by my shirt, ending my sarcastic retort, slamming his mouth to mine. His firm grip and rough, hardened skin made me crave more of his aggression.

As his hand left my jaw, hers pulled me away.  Meeting her warm, sweet, and soft lips, her tongue danced with mine as she hummed.

In that instant, our connections returned, stronger than before. Feeling them both once more, I closed my eyes and thanked the Norns for this gift… for THEM!

Taking the opportunity, I shared my growing need for them. What I desired next…

"You ne… you need to rest…" she groaned between kissed breaths. 

"No… I will not miss a moment more of this!" I met her gaze as I ran my fingers up through her hair, holding on for dear life, and she locked onto my stare.

"Loki…" she moaned, low and sweet.

"Yes, my love?" I smiled, loving the way my name sounded when she said it with want in her tone.

"REST!" 

I pouted at her command as she pushed me down to the pillows. Barnes chuckled and relaxed against the headboard, arms crossed behind his head.

She pecked a kiss on my cheek then rested her own head onto my chest. 

I held them both as I drifted off to sweet slumber, this time dreaming of the pleasure awaiting me when I woke.

--------------------

"Fuck you, you piece of shit!” Marina cursed, shaking Banner’s antiquated piece of technology violently.

"I don't think that's how it works, he's not in it physically," Barnes squinted as he chuckled at her.

"Don't care, it makes me feel better," she snarked.

Carrying it around for days, not wanting to let that bastard out of her sight, she kept the laptop tucked under her arm, occasionally cursing at the damn thing.

"But we need to do SOMETHING with it, I suppose,” rubbing my chin, I thought about what to do with the thing.

"I could incinerate it!" she grinned madly.

Hmmm that smile… 

“You're wicked,” I teased. “But no… I have a better idea… The Collector.” 

-------Sakar-------

--------Mar--------

"Santos?!" I growled, squinting at the man, confused and annoyed YET AGAIN! “Good lord…”

"It's called SANTOS?" Bucky groaned with a ‘what the fuck’ expression.

"No, that's what I named it. I liked the way it sounded," Tivan smiled, sheepishly.

"You named it….  Oh my fucking God…" I slapped my hand to my face. "You KNOW this thing!?" 

"Somewhat…" he admitted.

I stared at him wide-eyed…. 

“We'd come full circle! How do we get wrapped up in the weirdest shit!?” I spoke to them in thoughts.

Loki only ran his hand over his face in aggravation, no answer.

Tivan continued to explain that the Entity escaped when Thanos destroyed his collection looking for the Reality Stone. 

"It must have hitched a ride with him," he chuckled.

"NOT funny," Bucky snarled, stopping Tivan's laughter mid-breath.

"You better not lose this again!!" I ordered, handing him the old laptop with SANTOS inside.

“It will forever be my responsibility to keep him secure,” Tivan pledged.

“You better,” I threatened as he bowed.

The three of us turned to leave in unison, fed up with this shit.

"Beach?" Loki suggested.

"Beach," Bucky and I agreed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------