Idk how to title this mb
Hobie doesn’t cry.
It’s the not the way he copes with things. He’ll fight, scream, and ruin everything he has going for him, but he won’t cry. (His parents found it strange, and annoying. He’s pretty sure they would’ve liked seeing him cry over their “discipline” when he was younger. Sadistic motherfuckers)
But damn if he wasn’t close right now.
He was alone on a roof he never thought to sit on before a certain bloke came along, and the seat next to him just as warm as it was before Miles left.
Miles was always so warm. Him and Hobie fit like puzzle pieces. Or, that’s what he used to think.But in the process of squeezing his way into the boys life- trying to put non-matching puzzle pieces together- he hurt him. Bad.
His mind helpfully supplied the image of Miles on the brink of tears, having just been shoved by him to prove that. It just made him feel even worse.
…
He misses him already.
That’s the worst part, isn’t it? He wants to see him again, despite the damage he’s already created. He wants the boy to give him a second chance, wants to talk things out, wants to be with him, wants to kiss him.
God, why didn’t he just kiss him? He could’ve, he was! They could’ve been together right now, holding hands, joking around, flirting, and maybe kissing underneath the night sky. But no, he just had to ruin it.
He wants to kiss him now, more than anything. To kiss away the tears of his own doing and hope the boy will forgive all his shit. Will forgive him for the way he is, and walk into a relationship knowing Hobie will probably still not talk about his feelings or really anything about himself…
He’s the worst.
———
He sat in that park for a while after that, longer than he should’ve. By the time he left the sun was making an appearance to replace the warm of his own sun that left hours prior; further reminding him he left his side.
He still felt cold by the time it fully rised, waving the moon goodbye with its orange and yellow lights. He still felt cold.
He didn’t care enough to go to his classes, and cared even less to tried to hide from the multitude of teachers he’s pissed off over the quarter. He luckily only got one after school detention and an excuse slip by the time he got to his dorm. (One of the nicer teachers saw his red eyes and dead look on his face and gave him an excuse slip that “is definitely for only your next class since the bell rang but the note isn’t specific and could potentially be used for far more”)
Not bothering to even change his clothes, he flopped onto his bed. Which is the bottom bunk now, since José switched dorms for an “unknown reason” a week ago. The unknown reason being that he got his beat ass by a fucking lunatic, granted it was justified. That doesn’t matter though, fuck him.
What’s wrong with him? Why’d he do that to Miles? Why does he do these things?
Contrary to popular belief- or atleast to his surprise- he’s daft.
He saw the signs, the tones, the touches, and didn’t do a damn thing about it. He followed along to a certain extent, and even entertained it, but in the end he did absolutely shit. He let Miles test the boundaries, make the boundaries, work his way up to what they could’ve been. He made him do the forgiving, and work past bumps. He made him so desperate just for confirmation, that he felt the need to ask Hobie every damn they saw each other if he wanted to leave him. And all he had to do was just kiss him.
In the end, Miles wasn’t too good to be true. He was just too good for him.
Still, he should apologize. Miles doesn’t deserve to be mislead. He doesn’t have to choose him. (Hobie has to stop thinking he will, stop being selfish. He’s had his chance already.) He’ll ask to see him again and IF he agrees he’ll tell him everything. Along with a proper apology.
———
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
That’s the first thing he hears when he knocks on Miles’s dorm room. But instead of the boy himself, a Ganke is on the other side of the door.
“Guess he told you?” Hobie said awkwardly as he looked to the side.
“Yeah,” he grit out, “I heard about all the shit you said. So what do you want now?”
“To apologize,” Hobie muttered as the boy in front of him scoffed. He’s not one to show his emotions on his face, but he doesn’t deserve to be able to hide things right now. Not when there’s more important things to do. “Fuck off.” Ganke went to slam the door on him but he put his leg in between the door frame before it could properly close.
“Okay, can you just ‘ear me out? Relay a message to ‘im?” Hobie sighed. It’s fine, it’s fine. He didn’t expect things to work out- he just really, really, wanted it to.
“No.” He said simply, having to check himself so he doesn’t beat the shit out of him. Hobie was built like a fucking wall and he’d probably get beat instead, but he’d definitely try if it meant Miles got some peace. “You’re a piece of shit and Miles doesn’t want anything to do with you.” He said, daring to step forward and into his space. The punk didn’t retaliate or escalate anything though, just looked at him guiltily as he absorbed every word he said.
He needs to hear this. He always does this- hurts the people around him- and for once he just wants to change. He needs to change. (So he ends up nothing like his parents.)
And he would change, if it was for Miles. But it’s far too late for that, innit?
“What’s your deal dude?” Ganke said disgusted as he looked at him up and down. “You were the one in the wrong, and you’re acting like the fucking victim.” It made being mad at this stranger a teenie bit harder when he looked like a kicked puppy, only a little.
What the hell even happened to these two anyways? They were attached at the hip before yesterday, until Miles ran into their shared room practically in hysterics saying something about “The asshole got mad at me for almost kissing him! Saying I look at him weird and he shoved me Ganke and-“ before being smothered by his own sniffles.
It was pretty freaky, he’s never emotional like that around practically anyone. And never let anyone say Ganke’s good at comforting crying people, cause then they’d be disappointed with the little pat on the back and an awkward hug they’d get. Nevertheless Miles seemed to appreciate the effort.
“If you listened, I could tell you. And then you could tell Miles, if you think it’s good enough,” Hobie said frustratingly as he tries not to curl up or run away. He’s never talked to this guy before, this is hardly a good impression. He’s not the best person out there though so it tracks. He’s the asshole among assholes right about now.
“Fine- fucking whatever.” He squinted at him before finally yielding. He’ll pop him in the mouth if he says some stupid shit, no hesitation.
“Okay uhm,” Hobie said awkwardly as he thought of how to explain the absolute bullshitery that conspired, where does he even begin?
“So I sound like a mug when I say it out loud but- we’re at the park and just rabbiting right?” The other boy gives a hesitant nod before Hobie continued, “and we were about to… snog I guess? But then I asked a question beforehand and things escalated.” He sighed as his crushes roommate just looked unimpressed.
“You sure that’s all dude? I feel like you’re gaslighting me.” He accused and honestly, fair. He doesn’t sound that trustworthy right now, especially to a stranger.
“In my defense, I didn’t know why he was so upset at first and I got defensive cause… never mind that, things just spiraled and I said tings without proper context.” Hobie shrugged, looking away ashamed.
“Woah woah woah wait- what was that pause?”
“What pause?”
“That little… silence you did. What were you going to say?” He said, immediately changing from his slightly relaxed body language to closely inspecting the punk again.
Debating if he even wanted to say anything, Hobie stared at him back.
…
“Alright,” he sighed, finally relenting. Anything for Miles.
“After I asked my question he freaked out and said something like us was bullshit and, I thought he was being homophobic.” He said frustratingly as he grabbed his face. He should’ve heard him out, they both should’ve.
“Then you shoved him?” Ganke said blankly, debating if he should just close the door on him and call it a day. This whole situation was becoming less about defending his best friend and more about none of his business.
At the reluctant nod he receives, he sighs. “Okay uhm, I’ll just tell him to hit you up or answer one of your texts or something.” He said awkwardly.
“And just for confirmation, you like him right?”
“Yup.” He said automatically, popping the p.
“Oh okay good,” he said, but before ending the conversation, he took one more glance back at Hobie before commenting, “If you hurt him, me and all his other a million friends are going to beat the crap out of you.”
“Oh and, good luck with Miles. You don’t seem that bad, so I’m half rooting for you.” Ganke shrugged.
Well, okay then.
———
Extra cause I didn’t update on time and I feel bad:
As Ganke heard footsteps walking away, he sighed and tapped on Miles’s shoulder.
“Did you hear any of that?” He asked concerned, before realizing the boy couldn’t even hear him now. “Guess not.”
“What was he doing here?” Miles said with furrowed brows, finally taking off his headphones.
“Wanted to apologize.” Ganke shrugged nonchalantly, while Miles blinked disbelievingly.
“He did? Wha- where’s the energy from yesterday?” He said, trying to act like he didn’t care but let’s be honest, anyone would be able to tell he definitely did in fact, care.
“Oh yeah, you don’t know. Okay so first off-“