Uh oh
Hobie and him had fun.
Hobie paid for their cab… they went skating… went to get hot chocolate upstairs afterwards, Miles paid… and then got a cab back and went their separate ways.
They had fun. So… why does he feel like crying?
Fuck- is he really that stupid? Or is just thinking like this stupid?? Should he think Hobie likes him, and be stupid if he didn’t; or would he be stupid to think that there’s even a chance. He doesn’t even know anymore.
At times like this, he would usually call Gwen or talk to Ganke; but at this point he doesn’t want to. They would just say he’s stupid again, and that he’s helpless or something.
And they’d probably be right.
So, he’s stuck to just staring at the wall and just thinking.
Thinking…
Thinking…
Is it unfair of him to want Hobie to confess to him? Everytime he thinks about it a certain rage bubbles in his stomach, if he liked him why are they just running around each other? But then he remembers that he’s technically doing the same thing in that context and has to take a step back. What’s even going on with his brain anymore?
Does he make Hobie uncomfortable?
Well that’s not fair, right? He doesn’t put him on a pedestal, he likes him! Has Hobie never had anyone like him before?? So what if he calls him cool a lot, he’s not fucking calling him a god! He can’t compliment him anymore? Fine, next time he sees him he’ll call him a piece of dog shit!
…
Miles sighed as he turned around in his bed. He won’t do that, he’s just frustrated at himself. Hobie didn’t do anything wrong, probably. Does thinking like that invalidate his feelings though? Is it alright for him to say he’s not exactly mad at Hobie but still be mad?
What did he mean that he puts him on a pedestal too? Like sure maybe it could seem that way to himself with the way he thinks about him- he’ll work on it- but from an outside perspective he seems pretty normal. All he said was that he was amazing. Is it annoying after a while? But who would get annoyed at that?
Ugh, his brain hurts. All that stress gave him a headache, and there’s no Hobie to help it like last time. Wait- is that the type of stuff that puts him on a pedestal in his head? Fuck- whatever, one step at a time.
In perspective, what Hobie said isn’t that deep. And it might be- no, probably- was a joke, but he’d rather take it seriously than mess anything up. The punk is more perceptive than he shows, and there’s many times where his words seem to have a deeper meaning.
He just doesn’t know what it is this time.