Gaining Courage is a Hard Feat But When You Do it Tastes Sweet (Like Chocolate Pancakes)
At the disgustingly early time of 7am he packed a tiny bag for the weekend and headed to his house. If he was lucky, everything would go well and the bag would actually be useful.
He decided to walk instead of public transportation or god forbid having his dad pick him up, since it gave him time to think. Think about what, he can’t exactly tell.
Apart of him wants to distract himself, another wants to psyche himself out and turn back around all together, but the main one is looking at his and Hobie’s past messages while taking long strides. They already texted none-stop before they hanged out, and now it’s gotten more consistent. The only reason they’re not texting exactly at this moment is because Hobie is not an early bird, at all.
It’s sweet. Hobie is always out somewhere doing who knows what- that’s just who he is- but he still never misses a message. Just more of a reason that he has to do this.
To be honest, even before Hobie he needed to do this. This isn’t his first radio with crushes, and there’s been far too many times where he’s had to tell his mom or his dad that he’s smiling at a girls message when it’s really a guy on the other side of the screen. Granted, they’ve never liked him back before, but it still hurt while it lasted okay? It gets tiring after a while, hiding things like that from the most important people in his life. This is an excuse to get it off his chest more than an actual necessity. If he wanted to hide his relationship, he could. Maybe not successfully, but he’d still try.
When it came to his old crushes, there was one specific time he’ll always remember. In the 4th grade, he liked a girl. It was a running joke in his family, they all thought the puppy crush was adorable. He’d gush about her everyday after school, no fail. To strangers him and his mom met on the street, to even Uncle Aaron when he came out.
Then one day, he found out the little girl wasn’t actually a girl, just a guy with long hair. When he went home to tell his parents and Uncle Aaron who was visiting, they all burst out laughing and started teasing him. It was justified, I mean who misses that up about someone you like? But in that moment, something in his stomach turned. Apart of him ached.
He couldn’t stop thinking- never did stop thinking- about what they would’ve said if he told them how he still liked him. Maybe even more than before.
Would they have scolded him? Would Uncle Aaronhave scolded him?
Matter fact, when would he tell him. He’s never really thought deeply about it until now, always just assuming he would do it “someday.” Should he bang it out today too?
…
He doesn’t know if he can.
His dad is one thing, they've disagreed on a lot things. His mom is another, he’s the epitome of a mama’s boy but he doubts she would disapprove of him in the first place. But out of all people, Uncle Aaron?
Man, that’s the one person he goes to get away from the judgement, from the prying eyes that always seem to watch him and laugh, from the expectations, from everything. Would he be able to handle it if he didn’t have that anymore?
If he was alone?
Yeah, he’s good. Atleast for now.
One step at a time, the first being actually getting to his house.
==
When Miles finally reached his house, he took a deep breathe before walking in. “Mamí I’m home!” He shouted while he quickly took off his shoes. Time to find them and deal with this headache already.
“Oh, you came just in time! Your dad made pancakesss.” She said enthusiastically as she ran over to give him a hug and besos.
“How has school been? New friends? Crushes? How are your grades” she said swiftly as she looked at him up and down, like if she looked close enough she would find out her baby boy got beaten up or something.
“My grades are fine mamí, just like when you asked last time,” he sighed, not even attempting to acknowledge the other questions. If only she knew- which she will soon.
“And wait- you said dad made food?” He said disappointingly. He loves his dad and all, but not when it comes to the kitchen. Him mom’s cooking leaves no room for comparison, not even a little.
“Oh please, it’s just pancakes.” His dad scoffed from the other room. “My cooking isn’t even that bad!” “Anyways, your grades are good right?”
“Yes dad, mom just asked.” He groaned, not even I miss you first? “We missed you, the house is so quiet without you.” There it is.
“I missed you too,” he sighed again. He really did miss them but- it was conflicting. He liked the breathe of fresh air, but it feels weird not seeing them everyday. Atleast in person, his mamí makes sure to call him a minimum of every other day.
“You guys been good?” Miles said and in full honestly, was tryna stall.
He IS going to tell them today! That’s a sure fact- But why ruin the moment? He just got home, he should be able to eat his mediocre pancakes at the very least being everything crumbled around him.
“Me and your father have been fine, if maybe a little lonely. Though, now that you’ve mentioned it my fellow nurses are perra de mierda I swear to god-“ “Okay guys let’s eat!” His dad says quickly while guiding them to the dining room.
“It’s made with love,” he said proudly as he sat down and started eating his own serving. Miles just tastes hopes it tastes like love. Cause while his dad puts his feelings and love into his cooking, it always leaves him feeling unsatisfied.
That just made it even more surprising when he glanced at his plate. It didn’t look bad- at all.
They were regular, non-poisonous pancakes.
He even took the time to put whip cream on it the with some strawberries on a separate smaller plate. Overall decent/ over average meal, maybe he upgraded since Miles left for school?
He cautiously took a bite before actively taking more. “Is there… chocolate in it?” Miles said after he tasted a smidge of chocolate. He went as far as to sniff the air, huh, smelled like it too.
“Yup, I put Nutella in the batter. That’s your favorite, right?” He said smugly as his wife gave him a soft smile. He felt embarrassed having his wife always cook, they were in the 20 first century! A man needs to know how to cook for him family, and he learned to do just that. It warmed his heart to see them enjoy his food, instead of seeing his on silk everytime he held a spatula.
“Thanks.” Miles smiled.
“Yeah thanks honey, this was really sweet of you.” His wife gently smiled. Score!
The nice atmosphere made Miles solidify his statement from earlier, he definitely missed this. Sadly though, he had to ruin it.
Yup, you heard him. No more stalling, no more second guessing, and no more thinking the worst. His parents will support him, he knows it.
Miles took a deep breathe- deeper than he thinks he ever has before- then let’s out a little cough to catch their attention.
“Mom, dad… I have something to tell you.”
“What is it hijo?” His mom said concerned, in their family they rarely do announcements. Only awkward speeches in front of a bunch of people.
“Uhm…” Miles swallowed as he looked at both his confused parents. Okay this is it, be cool Miles, just imagine dating Hobie just imagine dating Hobie just imagine dating Hobie just imagin-
“I’m gay!” He practically screams before slapping his mouth shut. Holy shit, he actually did it.
“Um I know this was sudden but there issaboyandyouknowimnotgoodwithsecretsso-“ he quickly scrambled to say before he got interrupted by his mom saying, “We know.”
He blanched, and the little pancake he was chewing fell out of his wide open jaw. Gross, but not important right now. “W-what?” He stuttered.
“We know already hijo,” his mom said softly, “I’m glad you trust us enough to tell us though.”
“How?” He yelled before quickly quieting down, he may be surprised and having a mental crisis but he isn’t disrespectful. “It was obvious.” His dad laughed, laughed!
“You might not remember, but you used to like a boy in elementary school. What grade was it Jeff?”
“Third grade.”
“Oh yeah it was wasn’t it?” She nodded. “Yeah you had a little crush on this boy back in the third grade, you were adorable.” She gushed. “I think I even have pictures of you holding up a drawing you made of him and you, holding hands. There was so many hearts around you guys and I even taught you how to spell corazón so you could point a little arrow at him saying ‘mi corazo-“
“Okay okay! I get it you can stop mom,” he wheezed, barely being able to talk from how flustered he was.
He knew the story, of course he did. But he doesn’t remember that part, not at all.
“Soo… you’re cool with it? Both of you?” He looked up nervously. “Of course, don’t you know one of your cousins is gay too? Our family doesn’t discriminate.” His mamí shrugged.
“Who?” Miles said curiously. Whichever cousin this is didn’t tell him, and as the designated favorite cousin- they all voted and said he was so hah!- he felt somewhat offended.
“Oh, just a cousin you never met before. He moved to Colorado when you were five and we haven’t seen him since. He used to change your diapers though.” What’s with the family members you’ve never seen before and them seeing your bicho at the ripe age of 2? Is baby shit cursed or something? This is is 5th person he’s heard of but has never seen that has definitely seen him.
“Of course.” He sighed, letting it go. It’s a mystery that no one from this plane shall ever find out.
“Okay just double checking, so everyone at this table is cool with me kissing boys right?” “Yes hijo.” “Absolutely, I have a question though.” His dad said.
“Uhhh, okay what is it?” he said alarmed. His dad squinting at him while asking doesn’t feel like a good thing. “What was that boy you were mentioning earlier?”
“Huh? What boy?” He said nervously, he didn’t mention Hobie did he?! “The one you mentioned after you blurted out you were gay.” Oh crap, he did. Play dumb!
“What guy I didn’t mention a guy there’s no guy why would there be a guy? Hah hah that’s ridiculous I wouldn’t like a guy- well I would but I don’t like one right now currently at this moment,” he laughed awkwardly as now both his parents now gave him a knowing look.
“Aw so you do like someone, how is he?” His mom said teasingly, while his dad huffed. “Yeah how is he? Not trouble I hope, right?” His dad said sternly.
Hobie trouble? Hm.. well he does encourage his graffiti. And stealing. And the anti-police movement. And skipping class.
“Nope, he’s a perfect law abiding citizen. You know me dad, I wouldn’t like someone like that,” he shrugged, finally eating his last piece of pancake that slipped out of his mouth earlier.
“If you say so…” he said skeptically before digging in to his food again.
“What does he like to do? Any clubs,” his mom smirked, “Is he why you stay at your dorms some weekends?”
“Mom!” He said, scandalized. All in good fun though, he’s just happy they support him- and somewhat support him being in a relationship with Hobie.
All he had to do was confess now. (Of course, after he hanged out with his parents and gave them a big hug that turned into him crying a little.)