And the reveal of a secret identity
Peter enters the abandoned warehouse. Wade is tied up to one of the enforced pillars with something that looks a lot like vibranium. Holes in his suit show where’s he’s been stabbed or shot, pools of blood make the floor crimson. Peter wonders how many times he’s died tonight. Wade looks dazed, which probably is why he hasn’t spotted Peter yet.
‘Ah, so good of you to show up!’ The man sitting in a huge desk chair next to Wade cackles. What is it with these stupid villains that they always cackle? Four goons surround him. ‘We’ve been waiting for you.’ He gestures at his goons. Two make their way over to the door and close it, standing in front of it.
Wade’s eyes come into focus. He looks sad when he sees Peter. ‘Oh, Petey-pie…’ he sighs. ‘Why did you have to come?’
‘I couldn’t not come, Wade.’
‘Damn it, cupcake. I-‘ he swallows, a defeated look forms. ‘I kinda hoped you’d call Spidey instead.’
‘Oh no,’ the villain cackles in his nasty, nasal voice, ‘I specifically told this little hero to come alone. And look who showed up? All righteous and chivalry and, might I add, very alone?’
Wade looks at him desperately. ‘What do you want me to do? Beg? I’ll beg. Hell, I’ll even sing you a multi-chaptered opera in a pink petticoat. But please, let him go. Please.’ His voice wavers a little.
‘Tsk, tsk. Now you’re worried. All you had to do was kill that kid.’
Wade shakes his head. ‘Nope, sorry, can’t do. Promised Spidey I wouldn’t. And even I ain’t fucked up enough to kill a kid anyways.’
The villain barks out a laugh. ‘Not fucked up enough, he says. Like in Iraq, when you-‘
‘Please, don’t.’ Wade looks pleadingly. Peter feels his anger rise. He knows Wade is no angel. He knows Wade is trying to do better. And he knows this fucker is trying to out him.
‘Don’t what? Tell the little twink here just how sick you really are?’
Wade wrestles his restraints at the derogatory insult. ‘Don’t call him that.’ He grits out, eyes full of fire.
‘Or what? You forget I’m the one with the power here. I could snap his cute, little neck in an instant. So, wanted to add anything?’
Wade falls back against the pillar with a defeated sigh as he shakes his head.
‘Thought so. Now, let’s get to business. Will you do what we ask, Mr. Deadpool? I’m sure I don’t need to get into detail what we’ll do to your little plaything if you don’t, do I? Something like this, maybe?’ He grabs one of the knifes and stabs it into Wade’s gut. He grunts as the knife twists.
‘No!’ Peter rushes forwards. The two goons at the door make their way over to him, one grabs his shoulder. It takes all his willpower to not throw them off. He has to wait for the right moment now he doesn’t have his suit on. He breathes in through his nose. Wade is too important. No impulsive actions. Yet.
Wade coughs up blood.
‘If only your precious Spider-Man was here now, hmm? Oh wait, he only helps the innocent, right? Probably why he didn’t show up.’ The villain pulls the knife out again, sniffing the blood on it with a twisted smile.
Fuck, to hell with caution, Peter thinks. ‘Who says I didn’t bring him?’
The villain laughs. ‘Desperate, hmm? He would’ve knocked us out already, dumbshit.’
Thwip.
Goon one is suddenly webbed tight to the wall.
Peter effortlessly shakes off goon two’s hand and steps back, behind them, his hands fisting their hair. ‘Wha-?’ The goons look confused as Peter grabs their heads and smacks them together with so much force, he hears an incredibly satisfying crack. They crumble and fall down. He webs them just to be sure.
Wade’s eyes widen, as he’s connecting the dots.
‘I’m sorry, Wade, this was not how I wanted you to find out.’ An apologetic smile curls up the corner of his mouth. Wade smiles back.
Goon four makes his way over and circles Peter. With a flying kick to the stomach, he sends him soaring up the wall. A simple thwip of his web-shooters puts him next to the first.
Just as his spider-senses go off, he hears Wade yell: ‘Peter, behind you!’ Wade has a look of terror in his eyes as he looks at something that’s happening behind Peter.
He twirls around to see the villain laughing, shooting a very serious looking gun at him. He dodges the bullet easily. ‘That’s not very nice, is it?’ He webs the gun and yanks it from his hands. ‘You trying to shoot me through the heart.’ He pulls out the magazine and twists the loop. ‘You give love a bad name.’
Wade snorts as the villain stares blankly at Peter, who continues: ‘I play my part and you play your game’ while two goons enter from somewhere in the back.
Peter jumps effortlessly over them as Wade joins in: ‘Darling, you give love a bad name.’ Peter snickers as he punches one goon to the ground and tackles the other with a low swing of his leg. He neatly webs both of them next to the other two goons.
Wade is singing now: ‘Ooooh, he’s a loaded gun, baby. Nowhere to run. No one to save you’. Peter cartwheels back to the villain, fistbumping Wade’s tied up hand. Wade laughs out loud now. ‘The damage is done’, they sing in unison, heads close together.
Peters tries to kick out the villains legs from under him, but he rolls out of the way. He ends his roll behind Wade, a large knife suddenly in his hand. His other hand grabs Wades forehead and presses it backwards, the knife at Wade’s throat.
Wade laughs. ‘You know I can’t die, bloody fucker? Peter, just let him stab me, okay?’
Peter shakes his head. ‘Sorry, can’t do.’ His kick is faster than lightning, breaking the villain’s jaw with a soft crack. He drops the knife screaming, clutching his wounded face. Peter webs him up too. He clears the building expertly, webbing up the remaining goons, before calling Tony. ‘Mr. Stark? We’ve got a 5-16.’
Tony just sighs.
‘Yeah, yeah. I know. Had to save someone. No time to don the mask.’ Peter smirks.
‘Why am I not surprised. Was it the hero complex this time? No, wait. It must be that silly crush of yours.’
‘How did you know?’
‘Please, Underoos. I’m not blind. Even though I’d rather be than witnessing another snog session with the man who can’t stay dead. I repeat: he can’t stay dead. So you could’ve just let him fight his own battle, kid. Would’ve save me a fuckton of work’, he mutters.
Peter laughs at the answer, before turning serious. ‘I know he can’t die, but it fucking hurts every time he does.’
Tony sighs again. ‘Lovesick idiot. Go save that man of yours. I’ll send in the cleaners.’
‘Thanks. I owe you.’ Peter hangs up. ‘Well, Mr. Deadpool. Let’s get you out of here.’
Wade watches him in awe as he grabs the key and unlatches the vibranium restraints.
‘I’m feeling uncomfortable with you staring like that.’ Peter’s cheeks tint slightly.
‘Oh, Baby-Boy. Don’t spoil my fun. Let me revel in the fact I’m dating fucking Spidey himself.’
Peter smiles. ‘Stop fanboying, Wade. Or I’ll regret coming out to you.’
‘I’d rather have you coming all over me.’
‘Perv.’
‘And you love it.’
Peter picks Wade up and carries him out bridal style, making Wade yelp. ‘I do. Now, try not to get into trouble again, please.’
Wade smiles. ‘Can’t help it, Baby-Boy. Want to be spirited away every day now, so you’ll come and rescue me.’
‘We can just role-play that.’
‘But where would be the fun in that?’
‘Oh, I can think of a lot of fun with that.’
Wade laughs. ‘I want an upside-down kiss first.’
Peter looks at him fondly. ‘I think that can be arranged. But first we’ll get you home to get those wounds cleaned.’
‘Oh, a nurse roleplay. Count me in.’ Wade makes a kissy face.
‘Shut it, or the nurse will perform an unsedated castration.’
‘Love it when you talk dirty.’ Wade’s speech becomes a bit slurry.
Peter presses a kiss on his hair. ‘Sleep, Wade. There’ll be time for all you want later.’
‘You’re the best, Spidey-Pie.’ He sighs and snuggles into Peter. 'Glad you decided to bring Spider-Man to the battle.'
'Anything for you, Wade.'
Wade doesn't reply, as he's snoring deeply.