Peter fidgeted with his hands as he waited for the teacher to call on him. Out of all of the projects he’s had, this one was…it could have gone better. It was supposed to be a simple ‘day in the life’. It would have been fine if Peter hadn’t forgotten about the project until the weekend. Mr. Stark had even made him glasses that had a camera in it, so he wouldn’t have to hold a camera all day. Peter fixed up the footage as best he could.
“Thank you, Flash, for your day in the life,” the teacher said. Flash gave Peter a whisper saying ‘top that’ as he walked past. “And next we have…Peter Parker.”
Peter reluctantly got up as the teacher prepared the video.
“Just forewarning everyone, it gets a bit…chaotic,” Peter said hesitantly. Ned gave him a confused expression and Peter sighed. He didn’t get the chance to tell Ned about this yet, so everyone was going to be shocked.
“How crazy could your life be?” Flash commented with a snort.
The teacher started the video and Peter stepped aside so everyone could see.
PETER PARKER: DAY IN THE LIFE: SATURDAY
TRIGGER WARNING: EXPLOSIONS, PROFANITY
6:30 AM
“Okay, kiddo, how are the glasses working?” Mr. Stark asked.
Peter ignored a few gasps in the room as everyone recognized Tony Stark on the screen.
“Thanks, Mr. Stark. This’ll make the project so much easier,” Peter said with a smile as he looked in a mirror and saw himself with glasses on.
“Anytime. The camera is in the center, here,” Tony said. He pointed to the bridge of his nose. “So it’ll be centered. You don’t have to worry about turning your head a certain way either. You’re all good.”
“Thanks. Uh…Mr. Stark. You kinda look tired,” Peter said hesitantly. Tony stopped chugging his cup of coffee.
“Hey, I still look fantastic, despite it being…6:30 in the morning. Now go get embarrassing footage of Steve for me. That’s an order,” Tony said with a smile.
Peter laughed.
“You got it, Mr. Stark,” Peter said as he ran out of the room.
The footage changed to him walking into the kitchen in the Avengers Compound where Steve and Sam were. Peter heard a few students whispering about ‘more Avengers’ and Peter tried to stay as still as possible.
“Hey, Mr. Steve and Mr. Wilson,” Peter said.
“Why am I ‘Mr. Wilson’ but he’s ’Mr. Steve’? I’ve been meaning to ask that for months,” Sam said as Steve put a bowl in the microwave, with the spoon, but no one noticed.
“Because that’s your name,” Peter said awkwardly. “He wanted me to call him ‘Steve’ but ‘Mr. Steve’ is the best I can do.”
Sam snickered and looked at Steve, who was staring at the microwave.
“Wait, didn’t you just have cereal?” Sam asked.
“Oh, yeah. I guess I’m a bit…uh…what’s the word? Sleep deprived,” Steve said tiredly. Peter felt a tingle and before he could say anything, the sound of an explosion echoed through the room. Peter jumped back and fell on the floor, causing the glasses to come off. But the camera could still see everything. Sam quickly grabbed the fire extinguisher and accidentally hit Steve in the face with it before he started to put out the fire. “What the fuck?! What the hell just happened?!”
“Are you okay?!” Sam yelled as Peter ran over. “What the hell?!”
“What the fuck?!” Steve yelled.
“Fire in the kitchen. Fire suppression systems activated,” J.A.R.V.I.S. said.
Peter awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck as the class stared at him, completely at a loss for words. The camera changed to a different clip as the video kept playing.
“Why did you want to borrow my 3D printer?” Tony asked Loki.
“I need it. It’s important,” Loki said.
“Fine. Whatever. Use it. J.A.R.V.I.S. can show you how. It’s in my lab,” Tony said. Loki left the room and Peter stayed in the corner. “Hey, kid, find out why he wants to use the 3D printer.”
“Okay,” Peter said.
The clip changed to another one with Loki staring at the printer as it printed something.
“Uh, Mr. Loki, sir?” Peter asked. “What are you making?”
“My brother’s hammer,” Loki said before smirking. “Thor will certainly freak out after seeing me lift it.”
Peter smiled at the new clip of Loki lifting up the 3D printed hammer and Thor getting extremely excited and hugging him.
“This is not the reaction I was expecting,” Loki said as he got squished by Thor’s hug.
“I knew you were worthy brother!”
“Can you let go of me now?” Loki asked.
“Another son of Odin is worthy,” Thor said with a smile as he let go of Loki.
“He’s not my father,” Loki snapped before twitching. Thor stared. “You are my brother, but he is not my father.”
“Loki Thorbrother,” Thor said with a smile before he grabbed the hammer and walked away.
Loki stared at the table and Peter slowly held out the hammer.
“What is that?” Loki asked.
“The 3D printed hammer. I switched them out,” Peter said. Loki stared as his eyes got wider. “You held his real hammer, Mr. Loki. I figured it would be a nice prank, but then you actually lifted the real hammer so...that didn’t go as planned.”
“I’ve taught you well, midguardian,” Loki said after a few seconds of silence.
Peter smiled again before the camera changed to him eating on the floor. He took off the glasses to show him sitting on the floor and eating pizza. The camera panned to the crispy kitchen from earlier.
“So the kitchen’s still crispy from this morning’s…incident, but Mr. Stark has construction people coming in to fix it. So I’m sitting on the floor to eat,” Peter said. The camera was pointed at him but he turned his head as someone walked in and sat on the floor next to him. “Hi Ms. Natasha.”
“Hi Peter,” Natasha said with a smile as she grabbed a piece of pizza from the box.
“Oh come on!” Flash yelled. “Black Widow too?!”
Peter continued building a robot with Mr. Stark at another table before the sound of a flamethrower startled Peter. He quickly backed away and flinched when the sprinklers came on.
“Mr. Stark?!” Peter shrieked.
“I saw a spider,” Tony said calmly. Peter stared. The first Avenger to come running in was Bruce Banner, who came over to them both.
“What happened?” Bruce asked. “Is everyone okay?”
“I saw a spider,” Tony said. Bruce rubbed his eyes and walked away. “What? It’s a valid response!”
END OF DAY
11:43 PM
Ned stared at Peter and Peter rubbed the back of his neck. Later Tony had told him privately that he knew about Peter’s fear of spiders so that’s why he had set the table on fire. Peter looked at the screen again.
EXTRAS
VIDEOS IVE PREVIOUSLY FILMED
“Your shield doesn’t obey the laws of physics at all,” Peter said to Steve.
“Neither does Steve,” Bucky said with a snort.
—
“Oh come on. What the hell?” Tony asked as he stared at the water stain on his clothes. “J.A.R.V.I.S. order me an exact pair of these pants. I like these.”
“It’s just water, Mr. Stark,” Peter said.
“Shush, the adult is talking,” Tony said. “I need more pairs of these anyway. I’m picky like that.”
—
“What the fuck, Bucky?” Steve asked.
“It’s okay, I’m unarmed,” Bucky said as he held out his metal arm, which wasn’t attached to him. Sam snorted.
—
“I played dodgeball earlier with Natasha and nailed her in the face and now I’m terrified,” Clint said.
“It’s okay, Mr. Barton,” Peter tried to say. “She’s gone.”
“No she’s not. She’s just waiting. I can feel it,” Clint said nervously.
—
“UNO was invented to murder friendships,” Clint said.
—
“You know every time you give me the whole ‘Captain America stern look’ thing I get flashbacks, right?” Peter said. “Like…every teenager would because of those PSA things.”
“They made me do those after I got out of the ice,” Steve said.
“Well I have PTSD because of it,” Peter said.
“I’m sorry?” Steve said with a confused expression.
—
“Pointbreak, hand me that, will you?” Tony said as he pointed to a screwdriver.
Thor reached over the bunsen burner and his sleeve caught fire. He quickly ripped off his shirt and managed to get the fire out. Everyone stared at him shirtless.
“I’m straight, I’m straight, I’m straight…” Clint mumbled to himself.
“I am sorry, everyone, I didn’t mean to get caught on fire,” Thor said before he walked out of the room.
“Bruce, anyone home?” Tony asked. Bruce blinked his eyes.
“Huh?” Bruce asked, causing Tony to laugh.
—
“If you had to describe preserum Steve, how would you describe him?” Natasha asked Bucky.
“Angry asthmatic chihuahua,” Bucky said nonchalantly as he continued eating.
“What the hell?” Steve asked. “I’m right here.”
—
“Come on, he’s totally a virgin,” Tony said with a laugh.
“He’s not. Ask him.” Bucky looked up from his book.
“He’s busy so I’m asking you.”
“He lost his virginity to a girl in 1943 on the USO Tour. He told me in 1943,” Bucky replied.
—
“What’s the chance of this working?” Peter asked.
“100%,” Tony replied.
“Sir, there is a 30% chance of this working,” J.A.R.V.I.S. interrupted.
“And 30 rounds up to 100,” Tony said. “It’s called ‘fuzzy math’, look it up.”
“That’s not how math works, Tones,” Bruce said.
“Sure it is,” Tony said with a smile.
Peter stared at the class and fidgeted with his hands as the video turned off.
“Thank you, Mr. Parker…” the teacher said slowly, probably still processing everything she had seen.
Peter got startled by the bell ringing and he quickly grabbed his stuff and left the room.
Ned followed him and kept on saying “dude” until Peter pulled him aside.
“What?” Peter asked.
“Your project was so crazy! And I’ve never seen Captain America swearing. And you ate pizza with Black Widow. And Falcon hitting Captain America with a fire extinguisher. And- it was insane,” Ned rambled. Peter looked at his phone and noticed the grade the teacher put in.
A
“At least I got an A,” Peter said before he laughed. “It was pretty chaotic, wasn’t it?”