Pondering, Hoping, Working For Better
Peter was doing better than one would expect. Better than Peter himself was expecting.
Before Strange's spell Peter has never been alone before.
When he was little he had his parents, and then after their death he had his aunt and uncle. Never mind the few weeks he had to spend in foster care. Peter barely remembers it.
Sure, he's felt alone before. When he was little he had never felt more alone than he had when he was alone with Skip. Peter's almost certain that that was a worst feeling than this is now. He felt alone when he got his powers.
When Ben died.
When Mr. Stark took his suit.
When he was stuck under the warehouse.
In Mysterio's illusions.
But back then, he was never truly alone. He had someone waiting for him. May. And then later he had Ned and MJ. And Mr. Stark.
Mr. Stark.
Now that he had time to think on it, Peter can't help but resent Mr. Stark a bit. Resent is a very strong word, but it's the only one that fits.
He basically forced Peter to fight for him in Germany, not telling him what he was really fighting for. Then he ignored Peter for weeks. Then he took away Peter's suit. Then Peter almost died for his tech. Then he was suddenly interested. To a certain degree, Mr. Stark is the reason he's in this mess. The reason Beck was even vengeful in the first place.
Logically, Peter knew there was a lot more going on. A lot more at stake.
Peter still loves the man. But he also has mixed feelings. If Peter could bring him back to life at this very moment, would he? Peter doesn't know.
Of course he would love to have the man back. To ask for answers. Advice.
On the other hand he didn't think he could handle being held at arms length again. After all, Mr. Stark has a kid of his own now. His own flesh and blood and genius.
If Peter was in a beter state of mind he would choose to bring Mr. Stark back to life in a millisecond, no matter the personal consequences. But unfortunately, even if Peter is doing better than expected, his mental stability has gone to shit.
Ned might have been the hacker in the duo, but that doesn't mean Peter isn't good at it as well.
Objectively, Peter is good at most things involving STEM subjects. Like he was born to do it. He never understood the why and how. Neither his mom or his dad was anywhere near his intellect, well that's what aunt May always said. Is intelligence genetic? Peter thinks it has to be.
As such, between the tears and the snot, Peter forged documents and placed it into the system. It's not fool-proof, people looking for documents for him most likely wouldn't find anything. But if he handed them the document, they wouldn't be able to find anything wrong with it. Normally, he wouldn't think he would be able to pull something like this off, but after the snap nothing is normal. No one would question his records if there were inconsistencies. Half of their records reeked of mistakes and holes.
Peter works, goes to uni, works some more and patrols. And works while he's on patrol.
Mr. Stark would have a field day if he knew what Peter was doing to earn some extra dough. Peter's been basically taking selfies and selling it to the very man who handed his demise to Beck on a silver platter. JJJ gave Beck the use of their platform. JJJ added fuel to the fire by badmouthing Peter and playing Beck's last words on the billboards on repeat.
JJJ could've just as well beat Peter into the ground like the Green Goblin had done. Then Peter could've at least licked his wounds. But JJJ is all words. No real reason for retribution.
Peter has also scored some work in some small time lab, working for a doctor for a decent bit of money.
Peter also went to ESU after taking his GED. Which maybe wasn't the smartest idea. He was burying himself in debt.
And then Peter was Spider-Man. Spider-Man has become more of an act as the time has gone by. A second self. A persona.
Spider-Man had a lot to give. He has a big heart. And he's encased his entire fandom, as well as the people of New York, inside of it. Even if they don't want it, and beat and cry and scream that they want him gone.
But Peter Parker? He's lost too much, gained too little. He keeps his head down. He even grew his hair out to cover his eyes. He's doing well in uni. His marks, not his mind. Peter shoves people out of his life, but still tries his best to live his life. To try and be happy.
Yes, Peter is trying hard to move on from what he dubbed "The Before". He has done good. Made himself a life. He has a decent apartment. Enough food. Maybe he might someday be happy.
That's why Peter's entire world came crashing down when Pepper Potts went on a stage and asked him to come and meet her. Him. Not Spiderman. Peter Parker.
What's going on?
His phone started to ring. He glances down and see that it's his partner in a group project that he had to do last semester. Seems like now that he has a connection to the savior of the universe, that people want to know him. He declines that call, flops himself face down into his pillow and groans.
He can't imagine what Pepper Potts might want with him.
Why can't he ever catch a break?