Tony raises his Gauntlet-covered hand, feeling the searing power make its way from his fingers to his shoulder. It’s agonizing, but this is it. The moment everyone had been fighting for. He has to do this for his wife, daughter, Peter, friends, teammates, and the universe. He strains to get his voice to work. It’s a little weak and shaky but he forces out the words, “I Am Iron Man.”
Tony moves his finger, and right in the millisecond before he snaps he feels an added weight to the gauntlet. He can’t stop now to find out what it is, the world around him has gone quiet, the only thing he can hear is the hum of power coming from the stones.
He closes his eyes and snaps his fingers…
White fills his vision.
Is he dead?
Is he dying?
Shouldn’t he be?
He can feel his awareness slowly coming back. With awareness comes pain, burning through his nerves—pain in his right arm. Someone is beside him tugging on whatever encapsulates that arm. The Gauntlet. Right. He has yet to open his eyes.
Did it work? He wonders.
The Snap almost killed Thanos. How could I have survived?
“Peter, can you hear me?”
Tony’s eyes shoot open. What happened to Peter? Is he okay? Where is he? None of these questions make it past Tony’s thoughts.
“Where’s Strange?!” Someone shouts.
Tony tries to get up, still not understanding what’s happening. “Tony, stay down.” Pepper. Her hand is on the left breastplate. Not pushing and yet the weight of it is too much for his body right now. “Help is coming, just stay down.”
“P’t’r” He tries.
“What?”
He takes a deep rattling breath and tries again, “P’ter.”
“Peter’s right next to you, we’re getting him help too.” She assures him, but it just makes Tony more worried.
He uses much of what is left of his strength to turn to the side so he can see Peter. What he sees makes him want to throw up, not that he wasn’t already nauseous. Peter, his kid, Is lying beside him looking so pale. His left hand is burnt beyond recognition. The worst part is that the boy’s eyes are closed. He almost looks de- Tony doesn’t allow that thought to finish. People are starting to swarm Peter and that makes his concern rise.
“K’d,” He tries to reach out, but his arm won’t move. Just trying to move it causes bursts of white hot pain. He has to catch his breath for a moment.
How did this happen? Peter was fine when he saw him right before the Snap… The Snap! The added weight was Peter’s hand! No no nonono.
It was just supposed to be him. No one else was supposed to get hurt, least of all Peter. The whole point of all of this for Tony was to bring the kid back, bring him home, and make sure he is safe.
The more he thinks about this the more his heart rate picks up. It feels like it’s banging against his rib cage, trying to break free. Pepper seems to notice as she looks from Peter back to him with a concerned expression.
Beside him he hears one voice break through all the rest, “I can’t find a pulse!”
And with that sentence Tony’s heart freezes. It stops dead in his chest. There is a sharp pain shooting up his left arm. And the world is lost to him.
_____________
The first thing Tony hears is monotone beeping. It’s somewhat irregular and it reminds him of his own heartbeat. Speaking of, his chest feels a bit sore, like there is a light pressure weighted on it. He also feels like there is a veil of exhaustion surrounding him.
The beeping is still going on and it doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. He tries to open his eyes, but they feel like magnets stuck together. He must have moved because someone beside him shifts.
“Tony?” She says, “Honey, can you hear me?”
He would recognize her voice anywhere. It’s the light he follows out of the dark. The same voice that pulled him out of his despair after the first snap. Showed him that there were parts of life left worth living for.. It’s Pepper.
“Pep,” He breathes out. He tries again and forces his eyes open. At first all he sees is a blur of white, but slowly things come into focus. He turns his head to the right where Pepper is sitting. A lopsided smile spreads across his face when he sees her.
“Tony, I thought I was going to lose you.” Tears overwhelm her irises and overflow down her face.
“I’m right here,” He assures her. Tony goes to reach out to her, to help calm her, but nothing happens. He looks down toward his arm, only to find it missing. All that is left is a bit more than his shoulder, the end of it is stitched up and tinged red.
Pepper watches as he inspects the area where his limb used to be. “There was no way to save it, I’m sorry.”
As Tony stares he doesn’t feel loss as he looks, he doesn’t feel sad, but he does feel scared. Terrified actually. Seeing what is left of his arm reminds him exactly what happened. Which makes his mind immediately land on one thing. The most important thing right now. Peter.
“Peter,” He tries to sit up, but Pepper puts her hands on his shoulders keeping him down.
“Tony, listen.”
“Peter.” He says again.
“I know. I’ll tell you, but you have to stay lying down okay?” She asks, hands still flat on his shoulders, the right one on his left shoulder is putting considerably less pressure as to be careful of the surgical site.
He relents, “Okay.” He says as he sinks back into the stark white sheets.
“You have to understand that his hand was right next to the stones.”
Tony’s gut twists and knots into an untangleable ball, “How bad?” He has to ask, but he doesn't want to.
“Bad.” That’s all she has to say for Tony to understand the gravity of the situation.
“Please tell me he’ll at least be okay.” A tear slips out and down his temple. He didn’t even notice he started crying.
“We don’t know,” Pepper says with a sniffle of her own.
“Not again,” whatever is left of his resolve breaks, no shatters, as his tears flow without restraint, “I can’t lose him again. I can’t do it again.”
Pepper comes around to the other side of the bed and grabs his left hand tightly, “I know, I know.” She says, because she does. She barely saw her fiance, at the time, for days to weeks to months after the first snap. He locked himself away and wallowed in guilt. Drowned himself by thinking about every instance he wished he could have changed. The only thing that saved him from himself was Morgan. Morgan saved his life and their marriage.
“I-I want to see Peter.”
Pepper looks unsure, “I’m not sure that’s the best idea.”
“I need to see him.” He pleads, his face wet with salt water.
As she looks into her husband's eyes she can see the terror, the fear, the worry. He needs to lay eyes on the kid to assure himself that Peter’s still alive. “I’ll talk to Helen about moving you into his room.”
Pepper stands up, but Tony squeezes her hand before she can let go, “Thank you.”
“Of course.” She smiles at him before leaving to go find Dr. Cho.
____________
It took a lot of convincing and the promise that Tony would stay in bed, for Helen to allow the transfer. But now Tony’s bed was being wheeled into another room. Pepper gives his good shoulder a squeeze right before he is pushed past the threshold and right away he knows why.
His breath gets caught in his throat along with his heart when he sees Peter. When he sees his kid hooked up to countless machines. Tubes and wires everywhere, including down his throat. His chest is moving up and down synchronously with the sound a machine is making behind his bed. It’s breathing for him. He was told he had a breathing tube, but there is a big difference between being told and seeing with your own eyes. He was also told that Peter was in a coma and there is a chance he will never wake up from it.
The kid is lying still right in the center of the bed. The same bed seemed so small to Tony in the other room, but staring at Peter in it makes the bed seem so big. The sheets lay perfectly on top of him, from his feet to his chest, his arms above the cover. It is creaseless and pristine. His brunette curls are splayed haphazardly on the pillow underneath his head. His left hand is wrapped in layers upon layers of white gauze. There’s also even more beeping now that Peter’s heart monitor harmonizes with Tony’s.
Peter looks so young and so pale. Tony had begged and pleaded with God to see Peter again, but this is not what he meant. It seems like God or whoever is up there manipulating our lives is playing with Tony. Giving him exactly what he wants just to do their best to take the kid away once more. Like losing Peter once wasn’t enough. Like the despair Tony fell into wasn’t dreadful enough.
He won’t let this happen. He won’t stand by and watch the boy fade into nothingness. Not again.
Once he is situated and all of his monitors are plugged into the wall he looks over to Pepper, who is once again by his side. “I need to talk to Strange.”
She looks at him sadly, “He said there is nothing he can do.”
Tony doesn't belive that, or at least he refuses to belive that.“I need to speak with him.”
She looks at him with uncertainty but nods anyway. “I’ll try to find him.”
____________
Around an hour later Strange comes in still in his uniform and his cloak. “Stark, good to see you up.”
“You have to help Peter.” Tony says skipping the pleasantries and getting straight to the point.
The Sorcerer sighs, “There is nothing I can do."
"Somehow I very much doubt that. You're a Wizard, just magically make him better."
"I'm a sorcerer," Strange corrects, annoyance present in his tone, "and that's really not how it works."
Tony can feel tears try to build up in his eyes, he tries to push the lump in his throat back down. "You have to do somthing."
"I am afraid it is up to Death now.” Strange states with an unwelcome air of nonchalance.
“What the hell do you mean it’s up to Death?!” Just the word freezes Tony's blood, his veins stock still.
“I mean that it is no longer your choice nor mine nor Peter’s. His life is in Death’s hands now.”
“Death is a person?”
“Death is a being.” Stephen corrects.
“Is there a way to talk to them?”
“Stark, I don’t think you understand what you’re asking.”
Tony looks over at Peter’s almost lifeless form with a forlorn look and then back to Dr. Strange. “Yes, I do. I need to speak with Death.”
“Death doesn’t just grant favors, there is always a price to pay.” The sorcerer explains.
“Then I’ll pay it.” Another look at Peter, “Whatever it takes.”
“Death might ask for more than you are willing to give. Are you sure you want to do this? ”
This time Tony doesn’t even have to venture a look at the kid, “Yes.” He states with unwavering certainty.
“Alright, as long as you understand the risks.”
“I do.”
Dr. Strange comes closer, “Close your eyes.” Tony does so and he feels two of the Sorcerer's fingers in the center of his forehead, it makes him jump for a moment. The fingers add pressure and push down, suddenly feels like he’s falling. As if he fell right through the bed. The freefall lasts around ten seconds before he touches the ground. Somehow he ended up on his two feet. He runs his hand through his hair just to find that his right arm is there. It is back where it should be, no hint of burnt skin from the Gauntlet.
He is standing in a dull room, so dark it is almost back. “Hello?” He calls out. His voice echoes back to him in eerie repetition.
It’s a few seconds later that a door opens letting in a bright white light. A shadow is in the center of the doorway. It looks… well it looks like the cliche Grim Reaper. The figure is wearing a dark hooded cloak that covers their entire body and head, and they are carrying a scythe.
Tony had no idea what to expect, but a simple, “Hello,” from the being was not it. Their voice could even be described as high with a small lilt.
“Hello,” Tony answers back.
“Sorry one moment,” they say, and a second later they switch on a light and the whole room becomes bright. “That’s much better,” Death says.
The room seems to be some kind of office. The walls are lined with binders labeled by years, each one looks so big it's like five glued together. There is a large clear desk in the middle of the room with a large red comfy chair behind it and two smaller black ones in front.
Tony watches as the being takes off the cloak and hangs it on the door while putting the scythe in the closet. When they turn back to the man they must see the confusion on his face, “Oh yeah, sorry about the getup, you humans just seem to get a kick out of it.” Death shrugs.
Without the cloak, Tony can see Death clearly. They have long curly black hair and a dark complexion. They are wearing simple black pants and a black blouse that inches at the waist and flows really over the hips. They look nothing like he would have pictured. He would even go as far as to say that Death even looks kind, it is turning Tony’s perspective upside down.
Death goes over to the desk and picks up a pen. They cross off a name on a sheet of paper before storing it in the binder already open in front of them. Once they are done they look up at Tony, “What can I do for you?” Death asks, gesturing to one of the two chairs in front of the desk.
Tony, still dumbfounded, walks over and sits down just as Death does the same in their chair. Tomny gathers his thoughts and focuses on the reason he is here. “I’m here about Peter Parker.”
“Peter Parker… Peter Parker,” Death mutters as they flip through the binder, moving forward in the pages, “Ah, yes, here he is. Peter Parker.” They read over the file and their eyes turn sorrowful, “What a sad story. He’s a good kid.”
“The best kid,” Tony adds, “Can you please spare him?” He asks, “I’m begging you.”
“I wish I could.” Death says genuinely, looking back toward Tony.
Tony’s heart drops, “Why can’t you?”
“That’s just not how it works hun. I have to protect the balance. It's my job.” They explain, “If I save one life then another has to be taken.”
“So I die instead of Peter?” Tony asks, very much contemplating taking the deal.
“Not exactly.” Death states and Tony looks at them with confusion. “Peter has been alive for 16 years, thus that is the number of years that has to be traded.”
Sixteen years is a long time, but it will never be longer than those five years. The five years Peter was gone felt like an eternity. They felt like a nightmare that would never end. It felt like purgatory, dreaming the kid was alive just to wake up to him being gone again. If he takes this deal he might not have that much time left, but it would still be worth it. He’s already lived a long life, Peter hasn’t. Peter has a right to live up to his full potential. Tony will do everything he can to make sure that happens. “So, if I trade 16 years of my life then Peter gets to live?” He clarifies.
“Correct.”
“Do it,” Tony says without a thought.
He wishes he could talk this over with Pepper and explain why he has to do this, but it’s now or never. He hopes she will understand. He knows she would do the same for Morgan, as would he.
Death gives him a sympathetic smile before grabbing a piece of paper that appears out of thin air. “I will need you to sign this contract before we proceed. Just stating that you understand what you are giving away. You will die sixteen years earlier than you would have.” They hold out the pen.
Tony grabs the writing utensil, possibly with a little too much force, and quickly signs the paper. The contract vanishes once he’s done. “So Peter will be okay now right?”
“He will live.” Death says, “He will still have to wake up and recover on his own, but he will live.” Tony nods, that’s all he cares about. All the rest can be dealt with later. “I’m going to send you back now. Enjoy what’s left of your life, it is now shorter than it once was. I hope it’s worth it.” It is... He is. He thinks right before everything goes black.
____________
The beeping is back, which means he is back. He opens his eyes to Dr. Strange sitting next to him. He looks over to see his right arm gone once more and then looks at Peter. Although it seems his condition hasn’t changed, Tony knows now that it will.
“Did you get what you wanted?” The sorcerer asks, only a hint of interest makes its way past his vocal cords.
“Yup,” Tony says tiredly. “Peter’s going to live.”
“What did you have to trade?”
“Nothing nearly as important,” Tony says as he closes his eyes. A wave of relief washes over him, from his toes to the crown of his head.
He woke up with one less arm and sixteen fewer years of his life, but he is happier than he has been in a very long time. Peter is going to be okay, and he gets to be with Pepper and Morgan again. It doesn’t matter how long he has left, as long as he makes the most of it. He plans to devote the rest of his life to his family and, most importantly, spend as much time as he can with Morgan and Peter.