Cat Grant was a busy woman. She had a media empire to run, reports to write, employees to yell at, dominance to assert where it didn’t need to be, much younger men to flirt with- you know the usual. Her day was non-stop, jam packed and essentially an art form. But whenever Lena Luthor would appear in her office, she couldn’t help but put a stop her busy day.
Cat noticed quickly that Lena was a woman who commanded attention without even trying-with her tailored suits, a face card that made even Cat question her sexuality and a voice that left everyone she spoke to wondering, if she’d been professionally trained in the art of seduction. And every week, Lena came to her office, strolling past the glass doors like she owned the place.
And then there was Keira.
Oh, Keira. Cat’s assistant, who was about as graceful- but just a cute- as a baby giraffe on roller skates. Trained in the art of 'ditsy blonde', no idea how attractive she turely is, and is way too humble to be ever confident. Keira would freeze in place like a dog in trouble, staring at Lena with wide eyes, as she watched her approach- it was like watching a tiger stalking a rabbit, you knew the ending was going to be grusome, but you couldn't look away.
At first Lena’s visits seemed innocent enough. Once a week she would stop by Catco under the very believable guise she was ‘in the area and wanted to say hello’, Cat thought Lena was trying to steal Keira from right under her nose. But the following week it was twice, and she came with a coffee, doughnut, lingering eyes and a plunging neckline. Then the next week it was three times. Cat soon realised Lena was not shopping for a new PA... she was after Keira yes, but for different reasons entirely.
Each visit Lena would stay longer, would bit her lip more frequently, would show more cleavage, would laugh louder- surely Keira’s stuttering and stammering wasn’t that funny…Unless Lena had a crush. Love makes you laugh at things that are definitely not funny.
Each visit Cat would cringe. Keira was so awkward, fumbling over her words like she was trying to win a gold medal in a ‘saying things wrong’ competition, the prolonged eye contact, lip biting, and shameless cleavage staring, plus the vomit inducing reaction Keira would have when Lena complimented her or touched her arm…Cat wished they would make like Nike, and ‘just do it’ so she could get back to work.
Cat has watched Keira “flirt” in the past, with James, Winn, her own son, that one guy from marketing. So, she knew Keira was bad at it, but at least she was able to sting a full sentence together around them. Around Lena? she couldn’t even blink or breath without looking like she was malfunctioning.
So, as Cat Grant noticed Lena Luther approaching Keira, from the corner of her eye, for her fourth visit to CatCo this week, she suddenly hung-up the phone, abruptly ending the conversation with her mother, so she could watch with amusement and mild disgust, the slow-motion train wreck just outside the glass doors of her office.
Keira stood to attention, but then immediately sat back down again when she saw Lena approaching. It looked as though she was holding her breath, face still, but mouth gaping open like a fish.
“Breath Keira” Cat mumbled to herself, biting the arm of a pair of reading glasses, supressing the urge the scream. Lena smiled sweetly at her, despite the dumb expression and said something, probably ‘hello’, like a normal person. Keira just sat there for a long while, frozen in place, like she had gone into emergency shutdown mode.
“Say it back Keira. Be polite” Cat encouraged, leaning forward in her chair, as if she was watching a sports game and her team was about to kick a goal. Keira finally took a breath and smiled back, she said hello. Cat almost stood up and clapped.
Lena said a few more words, her head tilting towards Cat, while Keira stared at her with that glazed-over look in her eyes, her bottom lip surely bleeding from how hard she seemed to be biting down on it- Keira clearly wasn’t listening. Keira’s eyes fell to Lena’s cleavage- a region of gravitational pull, apparently as Keira’s eyes always landed on it- Lena smirked and watched her stare for a moment.
“For the love of all things holy…” Cat rolled her eyes dramatically. Lena started speaking again, and that’s when Keira practically launched out of her chair, rushing to open the door for Lena to enter Cat’s office, nearly falling flat on her face as she did so.
“Ms Grant” Keira cleared her throat, voice coming out rushed and high pitched “Ms Luthor is here and she would like to see you” Kara said in a tone that screamed ‘I just had a panic attack’
“Ms Luthor, nice of you to stop by CatCo…again” Cat smiled, pretending like she was in the middle of shuffling papers. Normally at this point Keira would leave, leaving Cat and her visitor to talk in private, like a well-trained assistant, but instead she lingered in the corner like a bad smell.
“I wanted to personally invite you to the official re-branding event for L-Corp Friday night. I was hoping you might write an article for CatCo magazine, about how I plan to take the company in a new direction. I see it as a good opportunity to satisfy both of our interests” Lena smiled and playfully raised an eyebrow…. Cat could see the appeal. Lena was confident, cool, had they most beautiful eyes Cat had ever seen, a women who knew what she wanted and knew she could get it…Well maybe not everything she wanted.
“Will there be an open bar?” Cat asked, taking off her glasses- the ones on her face and the ones perched atop her head- and placing them neatly under the others on her desk.
“Of course,” Lena smiled, clearly enjoying this little game of ‘pretend I’m not interested’ Cat was playing.
“Well then, consider this my official RSVP…Keira, mark that on my calendar will you” Cat flicked her wrist lazily.
“Excellent…And Ms Danvers, I would really like if you would come too, as my plus one, If Ms Grant can spare you for the evening?” Lena turned to Keira. Cat was certain Keira was about to faint or burst into flames.
“Me?” Keira gaped, Cat noticed Keira’s soul slowly leaving her body as Lena looked her up and down.
“Yes, having you by my side will make the night perfect” Lena looked Keira right in the eyes, and Cat braced herself.
“I-I on-you- me-side-with-“ Keira’s face turned bright red
“That is Keira-nese for yes” Cat jumped in, unable to handle anymore second-hand embarrassment while this sober.
“Ok great, I look forward to having you both there. And Kara, wear something nice” Lena touched Keira’s shoulder. Keira’s whole body stiffened like Lena’s hand was burning her.
“Yes I-I’ll wear something nice. Like clothes- yes clothes, I will wear clothes” Oh boy, Keira was on another level today.
“Ok good” Lena laughed, an effortless, breezy laugh that warmed even Cats insides “I’m sure you’ll look amazing as always in your clothes” Lena gave Keira’s shoulder a squeeze before leaving. Keira turned on her heels, following her like a dog on a leash.
“Keira. Stay!” Cat called out. Keira tuned again, her expression one Cat liked- fear “Sit” when Keira sat on the couch with slouched shoulders, Cat moved around her desk to sit next to her. “If I wasn’t so emotionally detached, that interaction would have physically wounded me”
“What?-“
“That was the most awkward thing I have ever witnessed, and I once had Snoop Dogg on his knee’s barking and growling at me, at Adam Sandler’s birthday party ”
“Was it really that bad? I wasn’t trying to be awkward” Keira leaned back on the conch, like she wanted it to swallow her.
“It was worse than bad” Cat rolled her eyes “I think it’s time you and I have the birds and the birds talk Keira.”
“Birds? What birds?”
“The birds Keira. The ones in the park, that show their feathers and dance and sing. Lena Luthor has been coming here each week, showing you her feathers, dancing, and singing, trying to get your attention”
“Lena doesn’t dance or sing when she comes here” Keira scrunched her face
“Ok, I’m going to put this in a way you’ll understand…hopefully. What just happened is called flirting. It’s something that happens when two humans like each other in a special way”
“That’s crazy, Ms Grant, I wasn’t flirting with Lena” Kara scoffed getting defensive
“Correct, you were standing there, acting like a wet sock, while she flirted with you”
“No, no way, Lena wasn’t…” Keira paused her eyes slow widening as she pondered on what Cat assumes are her past interactions with Lena “Oh my god, she was flirting with me” the realisation hit Keira like a brick to the face it seems.
“And that strange feeling you get that makes you forget how to talk? Is called tilliation. You have a crush Keira….A bad one” Keira took a moment to think, to try and find argument, but her shoulders slumped again
“Is it that obvious?”
“It’s so obvious, Stevie Wonder can see it…but the good news is Keira, for some twisted reason, despite how incompetent at English you seem, she likes you back” Cat poked Keira’s shoulder teasingly. Keira fell to her side, pulling a throw pillow to her chest, and groaned frustratingly
“I’ve never felt like this before. She’s just so Arrgggg” Keira slammed the throw pillow over her face “…. Ms Grant, I don’t think I can go to this party; I mean, you see what I’m like when she’s around” Kara muffled into the pillow
“Yes you can Keira, because I’m going to give you some advice.” Cat scootched closer to Keira, resting her hand on Keira’s hip, watching as Keira pecked put from behind the pillow. “One, stop acting like you are in physical pain when she’s around, trust me that is not the vibe you want. Two, use your big girl words when staring at her, let her know what you’re thinking . And three, dress for this event like you own a mirror and a hair brush, not like-“ Cat’s eyes scanned over Keira, disappointment playing on her features “-your usual self” Cat stood off the couch, walking to her desk, and opening the top draw. “Here” Cat held out her Amex card.
“You want me to get you a coffee?” Keira moved off the couch
“No Keira, I want you to take the day, and go shopping for a little black dress, The little black dress. I know how much you get paid so take my card” Cat insisted
“No, Ms Grant I can’t let you do that. It’s too much”
“Too much?” Cat scoffed “Keira, I’ve seen your wardrobe. It’s offensive to my eyes. Consider this a mercy mission. A rescue. Take the card, and get your act together, because you, Kara Danvers have a date with Lena Luthor on Friday night, and I’ll be dammed if I have to watch you making a complete fool of yourself anymore…now go, get out of my sight”
“Yes, Ms Grant” Keira nodded and turned on her heel, but quickly turned back, and before Cat knew what was happening, Keira pulled her into a hug “Thank you”
Cat just stared at her, wide-eyed. “No problem,” she muttered, trying to ignore how weirdly emotional she felt about this.