Tony was terrified to be a dad. He felt like the cards were completely stacked against him. He didn’t exactly have a childhood filled with sunshine and rainbows, and he was desperate not to recreate that traumatic environment for his child. When Pepper told him she was expecting, his first thought was all the things he was going to get wrong. Sensing his anxiety, she held him close, assuring him that there was no other man she would ever dream of raising a child with. And now they were in the hospital and the baby was here and holy shit this is really happening.
Tony looked down at the tiny, fragile baby in Pepper’s arms and all he could see was Peter and the pain and sadness on his face as he faded away. What if something happens to her too? He thought. I can’t go through that again.
“Tony, hey.” Pepper rubbed one hand down his arm. “Everything alright?”
He nodded. This was a happy day. He had a kid of his own, so innocent and untouched by the world. She had his eyes and Pepper’s nose and she was the most adorable child he’d ever seen. Morgan Stark. His baby girl. Tony stood stiffly next to the bed, worried that even stroking her head would hurt her. Besides, if he didn’t get too attached, it wouldn’t hurt as bad if he lost her.
“Here,” Pepper extended her arms to pass Morgan to Tony. “Hold her for a bit. Let her get to know her dad.”
“She’s asleep, she won’t know.”
Pepper sighed. “Tony. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing. She just seems comfortable in your arms. I wouldn’t want to disturb her.” Morgan began to stir a little, blinking open her eyes. Traitor.
“Just sit down in the chair and I’ll call the nurse to hand her to you.” She pressed the call button as Tony got settled. The nurse came in with a smile, taking Morgan from Pepper, gently.
“Ready?” she asked as she started to hand Morgan to Tony.
“I…” Tony faltered and closed his eyes. “No. I can’t.” Tony got up quickly and ran out of the hospital room. He rushed down the hall, trying to find an exit. Why are hospitals so damn confusing? He was so distracted that he didn’t even see Rhodey coming towards him until he ran smack into his chest.
“Tony, what’s wrong? Are Pepper and Morgan okay?”
“I’m fine. They’re fine. I just… need some air.”
“Alright, let's get you outside.” Rhodey guided Tony by the arm out the door and into the brisk fall air. Tony took in a huge gasping breath. “Talk to me, Tony. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just needed a breather.”
“Tony, you ran out on your wife and your newborn. Something is going on.”
Tony just shook his head and sighed, taking several minutes to slow his breathing. Rhodey waited patiently for him to continue. “What if I lose her?” he mumbled, barely audible. He started to cry. “What if I lose her like I lost the kid?”
“Tony, that wasn’t your fault.”
“Doesn’t make it any easier.”
“No, but Thanos is gone now. We’re safe.”
“But there’s always a chance that we aren’t. And even if Thanos doesn’t come back, what if I turn out like my father? What if she hates me?””
“If you get hung up on ‘what ifs’ you’re never going to be happy, Tony. This is a great day. You’re a father. You’re going to live a beautiful, long life with an amazing family.”
“I’m scared.”
“Of course you are. If you went into fatherhood without being at least a little scared, then I’d be worried. You and Pepper are going to get to learn how to parent together, but I know for certain you’re both going to be damn good at it.”
Tony smiled softly, eyes still watery. “Thanks, Rhodey.”
“Ready to go back in?”
Tony shrugged. “Can I have a hug first?”
“Of course, man.” Rhodey pulled him in for a hug and held him until Tony pulled away.
“I’m ready.” Rhodey clapped him on the back, and led him back inside. When they got to Morgan and Pepper’s room, Tony took a deep breath. “I’m ready,” he said to himself as he opened the door.
The second he walked in, Morgan squealed excitedly. “Guess she missed you.” Pepper said as Morgan wiggled around.
“I’m sorry.”
“You want to talk about it?”
“Maybe later. Right now I just want to hold my daughter.” Pepper beamed. Tentatively, Tony picked Morgan up from her arms and held her close, worried he’d drop her. He sat in the chair next to Pepper’s bed and looked down at the energetic baby, squirming and cuddling up on his chest. His eyes now welled with happy tears. “She’s so cute,” he whispered. “And beautiful, just like her mother.”
“And resilient like her father,” Pepper said knowingly. “She’s going to be okay, Tony. She has us.”
“I know. I just wish everyone was here to share this moment with us.”
“I do too. But she still has a whole team of Avengers for her aunts and uncles and they will make sure everyone’s memory lives on.”
“We have a daughter.” Tony said breathlessly.
She smiled at him and beckoned for him to sit on the edge of the bed. “Forever and always.” She kissed his forehead, and then Morgan’s basking in the magic of their new family.