Alpine has really really REALLY outdone herself this time. And Bucky is incredibly put out. Here’s why.
Chewed on Bucky’s iPhone 12 lighting cable and got electrocuted
Batted Steve’s coffee mug into his lap
Stole Steve’s steak
Fell off the table milked her injury (Buck has seen her fall out of a tree and be fine.) Then when Steve got close ran up and over him to get away
Turned the remote she batted away into a projectile weapon that nailed Steve
Decided to become the furry mafia don of the Midwest and a dead fish ended up in Steve’s shoe
The rat she dropped on Steve’s chest in the middle of the night
Another bat only this time it was when Steve was there while Buck was on a work trip
This time she didn’t un-alive the garden snake but it did make its way into the shower while Steve was in there
The opossum was new Bucky found it at 5am while looking for his shoes in the closet Alpine proceeded to chase it around the house
Fell out of the tree thirty minutes down the road and into the pond while trying to catch a bird (Steve saved her but she still scratched the shit out of him)
Bucky had to remind her that she’s not a home wrecker who orphans baby rabbits (she instead chased the neighbors corgi)
The neighbor about twenty minutes down the road called Alpine was riding their cow Smooch. She scratched the neighbor when they tried to get her off.
Alpine was spotted riding a duck at the neighbor’s pond (same as the last)
This is really getting on his last nerve and now she’s involved the neighbors. But maybe they’ll just adopt the furry brat (not really life would be so boring without her.)