The Barnes Family
Natalia had gone over to the Stark's home to offer help for Pepper so she could relax and enjoy time with her new little one. She had planned on doing dishes, cleaning the bathroom or whatever Pepper needed. But Tony had of course hired out most the work needing done around the home. Natalia should have expected that from him. He had the money, why not use it?
So instead the women had talked. They sat on the large plush couch, Pepper cuddled under a blanket with a pillow Between her arms. Nat sat opposite her, with topics ranging from the Avengers, and Tony saying he was going to "take a break", and of course Pepper's life now as a mom and her darling little one. It was nice to talk, Nat felt like most conversations in her life revolved around work. She supposed that was what happened when ones work friends were pretty much their only friends. Not many people wanted to befriend someone who had to keep secrets. And those that did typically only did so because they thought it would be cool to be friends with an avenger. Maybe Spider-Man had it right with the whole identity thing.
Pepper had nodded off shortly after conversations began. Nat had cleaned up their glasses and plates from the drinks and snacks that they had enjoyed during their conversation. When she had finished cleaning up she began pulling on her shoes and jacket to leave, but she stopped when she heard Morgan crying from the back room.
Hoping there was something she could do to calm the little one so Pepper could get some extra sleep she made her way into the animal themed nursery and picked the little girl up. She was beautiful. Dark brown hair, Pepper's nose and lips. No doubt she'd have Tony's brilliant mind. And she would have access to anything she wanted in this world to make her dreams come true.
Natalia bounced the little girl humming an old Russian lullaby. One of the few memories she had before Red Room. Watching the little girl clam down to the bouncing and humming Natalia smiled. Morgan curled her fingers around Natalia's pointer and curled in. A small part of Natalia felt the stab of guilt and pain that always came when she saw an infant. Something she would never have. Another part of her life that the Red Room had taken from her.
She continued to rock the little one until her eye lids closed once more. She knew she could place her in her little bed, with the mobile over head spun with foxes and deer. But she wanted this moment to last just a little bit longer. Moments like these where likely as close as she would get to becoming a mom. She would savor each and everyone of them.
She walked through the door of their Brooklyn apartment and dropped her bag on the floor. James had insisted that Brooklyn would be the best spot to live. She disagreed but she knew he was holding on to a piece of his childhood from years before, and it was a cute little place. Nothing fancy but they had made it home together. Two bedrooms, a living room and kitchen. They had converted the second bedroom into a small gym with their weapons filling the closet space. Not great for guests, but it wasn't like either of them had family that would be coming to stay anytime.
They preferred to keep a low profile. Despite being an Avenger Natalia liked her privacy. She liked being able to come home and not worry about people waiting outside to catch a glimpse of the infamous Black Widow. It had been the main reason she and James and had declined Tony's offer to move into the tower or the compound upstate. They needed more in their lives than just their jobs. They needed to feel somewhat normal.
She sat down on the weathered bench they kept next to the front door to unlace her combat boots, and dropped them next to her bag. Stylish or not, they were comfortable and matched most of her clothing. Which meant they had become her go to shoes.
"Nat? That you?"
James' voice came from the kitchen, along with a familiar smell. Was he really making pancakes again? How many times was that this week? She should have never got him that stupid pancake grill, it made it too easy for him. The man would eat them breakfast, lunch and dinner if she let him.
"You know you don't have to make pancakes every day?" She laughed and entered the kitchen. She snaked her arms around his waist. He stopped what he was doing and turned to face her.
He had pulled his hair back into a low pony tail, most likely to keep the hair out of his face while he cooked. A couple days of stubble on his chin and the sweat stained tee shirt told her he hadn't showered yet. If she was guessing he had just finished his work out for the day and was getting ready to start on paper work from S.H.I.E.L.D. from his latest mission. Paper work that he probably shouldn't have brought home, but he was never one to follow the rules.
"Now you see, that is where you're wrong Nat. One of the greatest things about living in a free world means we get to make pancakes whenever we want."
He winked before cupping her face in his hands and kissing her. The contrast between the two hands was something she was quite used to now. She enjoyed the kiss, meeting his lips happily with his own.
"How is Pepper adjusting?"
"She's good, Tony has taken care of every last detail. I felt bad, I went to clean and help out but everything was done so I hope I wasn't intruding." Natalia pointed to the pancake griddle and cocked an eyebrow.
One of his 'beloved' pancake was burning, the golden batter turning black smoking. With the change of color a smell began to fill to kitchen.
"You gonna grab that, or let it burn our place down?"
"Shoot!" He turned away from her and using his left hand pulled the cake off the griddle dropping on top of a pile of golden colored cakes.
"I'm sure Pepper enjoyed the company, she isn't one to let company stay when she doesn't want it. How is Morgan doing?" James asked as he turned the griddle off and grabbed the butter from the counter then the syrup from the cupboard. He set the items on the table and began pouring the brown liquid over his pancakes.
Natalia stepped around him to the fridge, she pulled out the milk and shrugged. Grabbing a class she poured a small cup and replaced the milk in the fridge before joining him at the table.
"She's absolutely beautiful. Growing fast. It's crazy how one that young can change in just a couple weeks. She seems to be a very happy little one..." she trailed off thinking about the moments she had shared with the child. "She wrapped her fingers around mine and it just hit how innocent and small she was. She has the whole world in front of her."
She stared at the milk in her glass letting her thoughts wonder off. Jakes looked up at her from his meal and placed his fork on top of the fluffy cakes. "You okay?"
She nodded and bit down on her lips. "Yeah. I'm good. I think I'm going to go work out. Fury mentioned a mission coming up. I'd like to have some time to prepare."
She stood up leaving her milk on the table. Before James could ask any more questions she made her way to the hallway. She was already braiding her hair by the time she made it into the bedroom to change.
Most people had a closet full of typical clothing, pants, tee shirts, coats, the normal day to day items. Natalia and James had a closet full of to go bags, equipment, uniforms, and very little day to day clothing. Shoving most of the day to day aside in her top drawer she found her favorite pair of leggings and a sports bra. She changed quickly before moving to their make shift gym and grabbing the tape off the shelf next to the door. She wrapped the white tape around her fist and wrists a couple times and ripped it with her teeth. The set the tape down and shoved her wireless ear buds in. The music started almost immediately and she sent her first punch into the bag.
James had set the bag up in the far corner in order to leave enough room to have a sparing space for the two of them to use. It wasn't great, she preferred being able to send the bag flying back with out worrying about damaging the wall, but they worked with what they had. When high quality spaces were needed S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers had state of the art facilities filled with the newest equipment and any other thing they could ask for. And they were both welcome to use either at any time. The home gym was meant mostly for moments like now. When they just needed to blow off steam or get their minds off of things for a time.
They had put down a thick padding across the floor, both to help ease the pain of hitting the ground and to quiet it so neighbors hopefully wouldn't hear them. The walls were freckled with scars from knives, and the occasional time when one of them took it a little too far and tossed the other into the wall. There was no doubt that they would not be getting their deposit back. Neither one of the was very good at handy work. Their skills sets lay else where. She would have to remember to ask Clint if he could help them patch things up.
Her fists pounded against the black vinyl bag. Each hit giving her just a little more relief, but it was slow going. She had dealt with this before. She knew she would never have children. She had known it since she was young. It had been a part of her graduation, something she was told to be proud of. To remove any risk of getting attached to something so small. Never had it affected her like this. She had been able to move past it after a couple minutes. But seeing her friend care for her child. It caused an ache in her heart that she wasn't able to settle as easily as past experiences.
Seeing Tony with his daughter had hurt just as much. James would have made an amazing father. She would have loved to watch him raise a child. He was wonderful with children, had a way of making them giggle and laugh as they chased each other around. Another fist slammed against the bag and she felt a tear stream down her face.
A metal hand stopped the movement of the bag. James stood to the side of the sand filled bag. He reached his right hand foreword and wiped away the tears, his hand lingering on her cheek. "Natalia, what happened?"
His left hand dropped from the bag and he took her hands in his. His blue eyes watched her carefully, studying her. She knew what he was doing. He had taught her to do it. To learn the target, to watch for any sign of weakness and use it to get more information. He didn't get to pull that on her. Not today.
She yanked her hands out of his and turned back to the bag. She threw her fist at it again, this time the blood vessels in her knuckles broke, staining the white tape. With the broken vessels her walls broke. The tears came flowing but she didn't stop. She couldn't. She had to get past it. She always did. It was how she was trained.
"Natalia stop." He grabbed his wrists forcing her to face him. "Talk to me? Is it something I did? Something Tony did? What?"
She pulled against his grip but he tightened it shaking his head. A few loose hairs fell into his eyes but he paid them no mind. She tugged again and he gave her a stern look. "We both know who wins this fight Nat."
She stopped and dropped her eyes to the padded floor. How could she talk to him about it? What if he wanted kids and had forgotten she could never provide that to him. The grip on her wrists loosened and her pulled her into a tight hug, one hand around her waist and the other resting on her head. She listened to his pounding heart and let her thoughts calm down before she finally looked up at him.
"Do you want kids James?"
He looked down at her, shock crossing his face. "Nat, I know you can't. I-"
"Do you want kids?" She watched his face for any sign of lies. He was good, he knew how to hide his tells. But sometimes when it came to emotional things he slipped. Not often. But it happened. He had trained her to catch tells by explaining his own. The small pull of his lips to the left side. She could see it now. The twitch, he was fast. But she was faster and it had not gone unnoticed.
He placed his fingers on her chin and sighed. "If I'm being honest? Would I love the idea of a little one or two running around? Calling me dad, begging for Mommy to come play? Of course. But Nat, I want you more, I need you more. I know what they did to you. And I would never let you go because of that. You are my dream. The only thing I need to be happy."
He brushed away a red curl and kissed her forehead. "You are all I need Natalia."
She shook her head and bit down on her lip trying to fight back the tears again. "Watching Pepper... It was easier to ignore before. I didn't know the women, the children. It was only a moment here or there but Pepper. She's a wonderful mother. But all I could think was that I would never have that."
Slowly she sank to the floor, pulling her legs into her arms. She stared at the new boxer's fractures scattered across her knuckles. James sat beside her. "You can have it Nat. Maybe not in the same way, but we could adopt, or find a surrogate?"
He was trying. And she appreciated it. But there was more to it. The idea that Dreykov had taken it from her hurt just as much as the idea that she could never have it.
"We can't afford adoption James."
One would have thought that working for the world's top security and intelligence agency as well as the team who managed to save the world multiple times, they could afford more. But the truth was S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't pay well, and while Tony provided much for the team, most of it was pro bono. Save the world? Here's a clap on the back. Go on a life threatening mission? Here's your normal paycheck but hey we covered your expenses. Tony and S.H.I.E.L.D. both offered places to live for free which would have helped but neither of them had liked the idea of being surrounded by work all of the time. They had lived that way before.
S.H.I.E.L.D. covered the expenses of missions, the additional safe house and more so it wasn't like they were struggling but the many thousands it would cost to adopt a child wasn't possible. Besides, they both liked their work. They were made for it. It wasn't like they were bank teller or nurse material. They had been trained for something far different and they were good at it. Neither one wanted to give that up.
"Even if we could, no one in their right mind would choose us. We would put too much of a risk on the child's life." It was for the best really. Their lives didn't work with kids. They lived with too much danger. A child in their lives would be a mistake. At least that was what she would tell herself until the pain died down. Eventually it would. It always did.
"The market place down the road is hiring. I wonder how flexible they would be with my ever changing schedule."
Natalia let out a surprised laugh and looked up at the man. He was so good for her, he knew how to make her laugh when it was the last thing on her mind. He knew how to comfort her when things didn't make sense. But perhaps the best part? He knew her. He understood what she had been through. He had been there, witnessed much of while going through his own silent torture. The two together held a lot of trauma, but together they seemed to muddle through it. Things would be okay as long as he was next to her.
Eight Months Later
The Russian winters were brutal. It wasn't just the cold or the snow, but the blasted wind. You'd walk out your and almost fall over if you weren't prepared. After years of living in it the two were used to it, but it didn't change how cold it still was. Her red hair peaked out from under her fur lined cap. Her gloves were thine, but needed to be for the mission ahead. Thick gloves got in the way of moving her fingers with ease. Luckily the new Stark tech kept them heated. Some would claim she had lost her Russian edge, she would refute that enjoying the cold had never been a part of her Russian edge. Just because she had lived in it did not mean she had enjoyed it.
James sat beside her on the rooftop watching the location they had been sent to observe. He wore a thick white coat, a red star patch was sewn on to his left shoulder, the S.H.I.E.L.D. logo on the right. They really had a thing for letting people know who was who. Her own coat had a red hourglass in place of the star. She would have preferred a blank coat. But it kept her warm while allowing her to move about so she truly couldn't complain. At least this time it was white, they would blend into the snow better with them. Not like last time where they had been given black coats. Hard to blend into the snow scape when you're covered from head to toe in the opposite color.
James watched out the scope of his M24. Many in his line of work preferred the M40, especially if they cam from a marine background. But he had stated he liked the feel of the M24 better. When it came to the Winter Soldier no one was going to tell him what gun to use. They'd just hand him what he asked for and move on to the next Agent's request. Best to let the man do his work the way he liked. He had proven over and over again he could provide good results.
Word had broken about a small town in northern Russia, a place where struggling families could bring their daughters in exchange for 500,000 in Russian Rubles and the promise that their daughters would be fed, clothed and well taken care of. S.H.I.E.L.D. had assigned her and James and she had a feeling she knew why.
"Some one is coming" He said the words just above a whisper and Natalia grabbed her binoculars to watch.
It was hard to tell the gender of the figure with how they had bundled up, but based on their walk Natalia assumed it was a woman. She carried a bundle in her arms and stumbled through the snow. Her footsteps trailed behind her in the snow, marking a path that was anything but straight.
Natalia watched with heartbreak. She knew what she was carrying. Years ago that had been her mother walking through the snow trying to provide a good life for her child. She couldn't hate either woman. They didn't know, how could they? They had been promised that their child would be cared for. Given money to keep quiet, money that could be used to provide for themselves or their family.
The hum of a low engine could be heard in the distance. They had arrived. She turned the binoculars towards the noise but couldn't see anything through the snowy winds.
"I'm going down." Natalia muttered the words and stood up checking her Widow's Bites to make sure they were still good to go.
"Nat, maybe you should stay here and I'll take care of things down there." James looked at her concern evident in his eyes.
She shook her head quickly. "I need to do this."
She made her way to the ground quickly, but in that short time another figure had appeared. Small, deep brown hair, and a dark suit silhouetted by the red hour glass she knew too well. Melina. Melina had been the woman she had looked to as a mother when she had none. Most of the Widow's did. And the Red Room knew that. They played on it. Used it to hurt them more.
Behind Melina shadows moved, if Natalia focused she could see a couple other figures standing a few feet behind Melina. With the blowing snow she couldn't tell if they were other Widows or others that Dreykov had convinced to join his disgusting plan.
The first figure stumbled again in the snow, towards Melina. The bundle in her arms squirmed and Natalia's heart dropped. Her child. She had expected it but knowing for certain was somehow worse. The situation unfolding in front of her was horrific.
"Looks like three additional Widows behind her. Could be more waiting by their ride, S.H.I.E.L.D. has a team six minutes out."
She knew she needed to respond. He needed to know she could hear him, but she couldn't. All she could see was her own mother, desperate to take care of her family. Desperate to give her daughter a better life. Trusting a lie. She had to make sure this little didn't line that life.
"Natalia?"
"Copy." She whispered as she watched the women draw closer together. "I'm going in closer."
"Hold back Nat, back up is coming."
She couldn't. It could be too late by then. These transactions took minutes. S.H.I.E.L.D. was too far out. She wasn't risking that when she had the ability to stop it.
Pulling out one of her two Glock 26 guns she waited for the Widow's to come into clearer view. It wasn't a great weapon with the wind and distance but she had to get them distracted. James would catch the drift and help from above. A young African American woman stepped up behind Melina, she stood still and alert.
Natalia took a deep breath and fired once. The bullet hit the Widow's leg, sending her to the ground with a cry of pain. And revealing Natalia's hiding spot. Melina and the two others were immediately on alert. The mother huddled over her child glancing every where, unsure what to do.
"I told you to hold back Nat..." James growl echoed over the communicator and a shot fired from the rooftop. "S.H.I.E.L.D. is four minutes out. Guess we will have to find out how to hold them off until then."
Natalia was a little busy running to pay much attention to James' rambling. The electric sound of a Widow's bite firing near her made her spin. She grabbed the batons holster at her boots. The lights would be a dead giveaway. But the electric shock from them would be a helpful additional. She heard the crunch of snow to the left and swung. The black haired girl dodged the first baton but the second collided with her ribs. She grunted and stumbled back.
More shots were heard as she dealt with the girl. 18, maybe 19. She was young, determined. Natalia had been just like her. She favored her left leg. Likely a ballet injury. Nat kicked out, foot landing against the girl's knee cap. A sickening crack echoed through the wind. The dark haired teen screamed and reached up her wrist to aim her bites at Natalia.
And then she was down, red blood pooling around her in the snow. Nat glanced up to the perch she had left and smiled. But the break didn't last long. Melina stood only feet away from her. Arms crossed as she shook her head.
"We were so proud of you Natalia. You were such a wonderful Widow. Dreykov thought you'd be the one to bring us out of the shadows. But then you decided to leave. We've never had another live up to your success."
Natalia ran at her, batons out stretched. Melina had been the woman she looked to. Been the woman she considered her mother. Until she escaped and learned exactly what she did for the Red Room. She slammed one of the batons against Melina's shin, twisted and slammed the second into her ribs. Melina grunted, her hand reached for something at her waist. Knowing her, her fixed blade. Always a favorite of hers. Natalia ducked, but both women were distracted when a scream echoed across the square. The figure dropped to the ground, her bundle falling beside her and letting out a wail of it's own.
"No!" Natalia screamed and ran towards her, giving Melina the perfect escape. It didn't matter. She had to save the woman. The child couldn't lose her mother. Not like she had, not to the same people. That had been her whole reason for coming. To stop it from happening but she failed.
Natalia knelt to the ground beside the woman, blonde hair fell out from beneath her hood mixing with the blood. The same red blood stood out against the bright white snow, slowly seeping, through the fluff. Her breathing struggled as Natalia applied pressure to the wound. She was going to make it. She had to. This child didn't deserve to loose her mother too. Not after they had fought for her.
Snow crunched behind her, she whipped her head to look, eyes falling on James as he knelt next to her. "Get the child. I will take care of her."
Natalia moved to the bundle, picking up the screaming child. She gathered the blankets up, her bloody hands staining the fabrics. She stood bouncing the little blonde girl and tried to hush her. Quin jet engines hummed behind her and the child's cries slowed. Her eye lids drooping until they remained closed.
Natalia looked down at the woman and James shook his head. "I'm sorry Nat..."
Her heart stopped as she looked between the woman's body and the child. The orphan.
The next few minutes passed in a blur. S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents surrounded them. They tried to take the child but Natalia wouldn't allow it. She gripped her tighter. Jakes ushering her into the jet. And then it was over. Melina had escaped, the child's mother died, and they were just leaving.
"She's beautiful." James' arm was wrapped around her and he watched the sleeping child in Natalia's arms. He was right. She was beautiful. Fair complexion, with equally fair hair. When she had been awake Natalia had seen her blue eyes. If Natalia had to guess she was around 6 or 7 months old. She was smaller than Morgan, but not by much. Her rosie cheeks had paled since they had entered the warmth of the jet.
Natalia ran her thumb along the little one's exposed hand, watching her breathing. An agent approached her with a med kit in hand. "Agent Romanov we need to check her vitals. Make sure everything looks good."
Hesitantly Natalia handed the child to the agent who removed the blood stained blanket and began checking vitals. The child whimpered at the loss of the warm blanket and bouncing motion and Natalia stepped foreword. James hand on her shoulder stopped her.
"She's okay. They know what they are doing."
Natalia watched as the agent check each vital before wrapping the little one back up. As soon as they finished she stepped foreword pulling the girl back into her arms.
"Agent Romanov, she will be placed in foster care once we arrive back in the states. S.H.E.I.L.D. will need to confirm the child's family has passed and then we will go from there for her future."
Natalia looked up at the female agent. She was young, dark hair pulled back into a bun. How could she talk like this? The child had just lost her mother.
"We will take her." James stepped foreword placing his hand on Natalia's shoulder. "She will stay with us until confirmation is made."
"Agent Barnes that's very kind but highly unusual. If you two were to be called out on a mission? Or if we confirm the child's family is passed, then what?"
"We have plenty of friends to help watch her if needed, and if her family is gone then she will need a new one. Natalia will make a wonderful mother to her."
Nat looked up at James, every word he spoke felt so right. So perfect. The little one in her arms cooed and grabbed at Natalia's hair. Her small fingers tangled in her hair and Natalia laughed and James pressed his lips to the child's forehead.
The S.H.E.I.L.D. Agent stepped back shaking her head, likely not sure what she would tell her superiors. But James and Natalia were engrossed in the child, interacting with her as she grabbed at whatever her stubby hands could reach.
"She'll need a name."
"Dasha." Natalia looked into her blue eyes and repeated herself "Dasha Barnes."
"Gift from God?" James asked with a smile.
Natalia nodded and pulled her little one closer, pressing her lips to her soft skin.