Brett let him go. He left Fisk unconscious and bloody in an alley for the police (now with Fisk's paid-off officers extricated) and the law to take care of. He'd done what he'd said he'd do, backed the animal into a corner he couldn't escape from. And now he was making his way across the rooftops back to his apartment and getting farther and farther from the blaring sirens steadily increasing in number at Fisk's location.
Fatigue was starting to edge in at the sides of his awareness as the adrenaline seeped out of his system. He slipped into his apartment through the roof access and the last few weeks worth of shit started to really hit him. He was tired. So tired. And in a not insignificant amount of pain. But he was home. He had torn some of Claire's careful stitches holding together the gash on his abdomen Nobu had made. He was pretty sure it was leaking some blood, but nothing extensive as the stitches could have come out soon anyway. His ribs and spine were screaming. Probably from him being thrown against the wall. And against a dumpster. And on the ground. A couple of times. His shoulders and forearms, which had taken the majority of the hits with the metal pipe, were sore and protesting any movements he made with them. And his head was aching pretty badly, which had taken kicks, punches, and some hits with the pipe too. He'd had worse fights with worse outcomes. But it hurt. God it hurt. Even with the new armor. But that didn't matter. Fisk had been taken down. And he might even be able to patch things up with Foggy. Maybe. And Later. He should sleep now. Maybe in an ice bath because he knows the bruising is going to be extensive.
And just then his phone goes off. 'Foggy Foggy Foggy' it announces. He scrambles to get it and picks it up. "Foggy-"
"Matt!" Foggy says on the other end with a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god. You're alive. Not dead. That's great. Where are you?"
"I'm home Foggy. I just got home. It's over- Fisk is over. I got to him and cornered him in an alley and knocked him unconscious. Brett came and the police have him now".
"Oh my god. That's amazing. Are you okay? I'm assuming he didn't go down without a fight?"
"I’m okay Foggy. Honestly, I've had much worse."
"Can I come over?" Matt pauses and Foggy continues "I hope the answer is yes because as soon as you picked up I started making my way out of my apartment and I'm on the street about to hail a cab".
"Foggy" Matt says cautiously "I know how you feel about what I do. You don't need to come over. I know I...scared you last time, to say the least, but I'm really fine, I promise. You don't need to subject yourself to seeing any of this. I mean I'm not even out of the suit yet. And I'm just gonna sleep anyway-"
"Matt, just say yes or no. I'm asking because I want to. I don't know how to deal with all this yet or what the future will be like, but right now you're my friend and you're alive. So while you're not in any immediate danger let me come and fret over you a little bit. We don't need to have any heavy conversations tonight. Just let me be there, please. Sure, you're fine, but none of this has been easy. Let me come help pick up some of the pieces. Okay?". Foggy is as good a lawyer as ever.
"Okay” Matt says.
"Good. I'll see you soon". And Foggy hangs up.
This development stirs up a lot in Matt, but he's not sure exactly what. Maybe Foggy bribed the cab driver or something because he got there in record time. Or maybe Matt fell asleep for a minute or two. He hasn't been sleeping much lately. Matt's lying prone on the couch still in his suit, eyes closed, and he is uncharacteristically caught off guard by the knock at the door.
"Come in!" Matt calls. He's pretty sure it's unlocked. He tries to look more alive as Foggy enters.
"Wow you really are still in the suit," he says.
"I was gonna get out of it. Just wanted to rest a little first".
"Do you want help?" Foggy asks. Matt's not sure how to feel about this, but he is very sore and getting stiffer by the minute.
"If you don't mind," he says and then directs Foggy on how to unzip the back of the suit and disconnect the bottom half at the hip.
"Thank you," Matt says as he climbs out of the armor.
"Oh Matt," Foggy says softly when he gets a look at him in just his boxers. It's not like when he woke up injured to Foggy and his revelation not so long ago. There is no anger in his voice now and Matt doesn’t miss the uptick in his heart. He supposes the bruises must look as bad as they feel. "Can I help clean you up?" And then Foggy’s eye catches on the torn stitches and he says "And are you sure we don't need to call Hottie McBurnerphone?"
"I'm sure," Matt says. "And she's out of town anyways".
"All right but I'm gonna play nurse a little bit then. Fill in, you know". Matt should argue. Do it himself. Say he doesn't need it. He does none of these things and Foggy does play nurse. He finds Matt's first aid kit and carefully tweezes out the torn stitches and then cleans the wound and covers it with gauze. He digs frozen vegetables out of Matt's freezer and covers the worst of his bruising with them. He fetches Matt some of his softest sweatpants and most worn T-shirt. Foggy cares for Matt like it's easy and it makes something in Matt twist with shame.
"Does anything else hurt?" Foggy asks.
"No. Just my head, a little".
“You’re not concussed or anything are you?”
“No” Matt shakes his head. “I could tell if I was”.
“Okay, but maybe you should have your nurse friend check anyways when she gets back”. Matt hums noncommittally in response and Foggy gives him some over-the-counter painkillers and a glass of water that he drinks in a few gulps, not realizing how thirsty he was.
"You should probably eat," Foggy says. It almost makes Matt smile because it reminds him of Columbia and how he'd get caught up in studying and Foggy would coax him into going to the dining hall or a restaurant with him. Or a couple of times just bringing him food because he decided it had been too long since Matt ate. Given recent developments in their relationship, the nostalgia has a sad ting to it and he isn't sure what to say. Maybe he's even taking advantage of Foggy right now if he thinks about it. Foggy and his kindness and moral obligation to care for the people around him. Foggy and his-
"Matt?" Foggy says snapping him out of his thoughts. "Are you hungry?" He is hungry, probably. Eating is difficult with his senses even on good days and stress has never helped his appetite. He's pretty sure he's lost a little weight recently, but Foggy either can't tell or just isn't saying anything about it. He's not sure which. "I'm okay-" he starts.
"No" Foggy cuts him off. "You took too long to answer so I decided for you. You're eating, Murdock".
Foggy somehow makes soup and a sandwich appear from whatever was in Matt's sparse cupboards and fridge. The smell of the soup cooking is almost dizzying. He's always thought Foggy showed affection through food. At Columbia, his fixation on feeding Matt made little sense to him until he came to Foggy's house over Winter break for the first time. Not just Foggy, but his whole whole family likes to feed people. His first Nelson Christmas left him feeling fuller than he ever had in his life. And now after everything that's happened, Foggy is still making Matt food. It's more than he deserves, that's for sure. And it's probably mostly out of some feeling of obligation to make sure Matt's okay. But still, he's not sure what to do with these thoughts.
"Order up," Foggy says bringing a bowl and a plate over.
"Thanks Foggy," Matt says taking the bowl and spoon from him and nearly squirming under the close attention. He starts to quickly bring the soon to his mouth instead.
"Now I'm glad I cooked," Foggy says. "You are hungry, I can see it on your face".
"A little bit. It’s been a busy day”.
“That’s for sure”. Foggy says. They sit in silence for a few moments.
By now Matt has already eaten a lot of his soup and he lifts the bowl to his lips to drink the rest, relishing the warm feeling spreading from his stomach. He knows if he takes to long to eat what Foggy’s made or thinks about it too much it will all just start tasting like guilt. Like dust in his mouth. Matt is in no position to reject anything Foggy gives him. Even if it might be for the best that he does, he doesn’t think he can bring himself to do it.
“Oh, you’re bleeding near your hairline. I must have missed it before” Foggy says and Matt hears him rip open an alcohol wipe and lean towards him. “Hold still” Foggy says as he cups Matt’s face in one hand and gently scrubs some dried blood from the side of his head with the other. It’s too much. Too gentle. Ben is dead. Elena is dead. He lied to Foggy again and again and again. Fisk is taken down, but that doesn’t bring anyone back from the dead or undo the wrong he’s done. And it doesn’t mean Fisk’s many criminal network tendrils will disappear and that there won’t be blood shed as people fight to fill the power vacuum left behind. And heres Matt, still alive and he can’t stop fighting. And Foggy knows and he should hate him, but he’s here feeding him soup and cleaning him up like he’s something precious. Like he deserves any of this. Matt face starts to scrunch up. “Matt?”
“I’m sorry” he says and bites his lip.
“Why are you sorry?”
“Just- for everything” he says wishing he had his glasses on and fighting back tears. Stupid, useless tears. “I’ve done so much wrong” he says in a wobbling voice “to you, to Karen, so many stupid mistakes, and so many time I failed-“ and he starts wishing he hadn’t started talking because now it feels like he can’t stop. He hates feeling out of control like this.
“Hey” Foggy says in a soft voice while he takes them empty bowl from Matt’s hands and puts it back on the table then places a gentle hand on Matt’s bruised shoulder. “Yeah you made some mistakes. So have I and so has everyone. And we have a lot to talk about, but we don’t have to do it now. And you’re not responsible for preventing every bad thing that could possibly happen, okay?” He takes Matt’s chin in one hand and tilts it up towards him. “You, Matt Murdock, took down a really bad guy tonight. You’re alive. That’s good enough for now. I am angry. But I care about you, I can’t not care about you ever Matt.” He pulls back. “Is there any way I can hug you without it hurting?” He asks. Matt leans in.
“It won’t hurt” he says as Foggy wraps his arms gently around him.
“You always say that”.
“If it does, it will be worth it”.
“Well I won’t squeeze too hard, I promise”. Foggy is warm and soft and Matt feels like he is drowning in this feeling that he didn’t know if he would ever get to have again. Foggy’s starts to run his fingers though Matt’s hair while they’re still holding onto each other and Matt does let a few tears leak out now. He hopes Foggy doesn’t notice. “You do help people. I know that,” Foggy says into his shoulder. “I just wish you didn’t put yourself in harms way. I wish it wasn’t you standing between those monsters and people like Elena”.
“There’s no one else”. Foggy doesn’t say anything to that. Maybe there’s nothing to say. They stay holding each other for a long moment.
“And I said no heavy conversations” Foggy says as he pulls out of the hug and runs a hand through his own hair. “You should eat your sandwich. And more soup if you think you can. You’ve been looking a little skinny lately”.
Matt chuckles a little awkwardly. “Things have been stressful. And I guess ninja fighting burns a lot of calories”. Foggy laughs at that.
“I’d assume so” he says as he hands Matt his plate with the sandwich. “Then after you should sleep. For like a long time. The bags under eyes are pretty bad too”.
“I bet yours aren't much better” Matt says. “You can sleep here. Only if you want to”.
“Maybe I should”. Foggy says with a yawn. “It’s already pretty late”. Matt finishes his sandwich and Foggy even gets him more soup. As he eats, Foggy nurses a beer he got from Matt's fridge and they watch the news even though there’s no reporting on Fisk’s arrest yet. Matt can hear the police scanners all over the city and knows he’s been taken into custody. He leans on Foggy’s shoulder a little bit and starts to close his eyes. “Let’s get you to bed” Foggy says as he ruffles his hair. Matt goes to his room and Foggy follows bringing him a glass of water.
As he climbs under the sheets Matt says “you could sleep in the bed with me,” he pauses, already wishing he’d shut up “if you want to. I mean the bed is big enough”. This was definitely asking too much, but he couldn’t stop himself. I mean, it wasn’t like he and Foggy had never shared a bed before, but in light of everything that had happened-
“Okay Matt” Foggy says. “Do you still have some of my clothes here?”
“I should” he says and tells Foggy which drawer to look in. A minute or so later he crawls in next to Matt.
“Damn, you do have really nice sheets”. Matt chuckles.
“I hope- I just hope I’m not asking too much. I’m sorry”.
“Look Murdock, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be. I’m not gonna lie, it’s nice to have you in my sight and have proof you’re okay, you know”.
“I understand that”.
“Can I?” Foggy asks as he takes one of Matt’s hands in his.
“Of course”. Both their hearts are beating a little bit faster.
“Matt-“ Foggy starts but he doesn’t know what to say. So he just scotches over and takes Matt in his arms. It feels almost involuntary. But his best friend is here and warm and alive. He can’t help himself. He needs a fistful of Matt as they go to sleep to prove this is really real.
“Yeah Foggy?”
“Is this okay?”
“Yeah. Of course it is”.
Whatever this is, they can talk about it in the morning. If ever. Matt feels like he’s been freezing lately. Cold and alone and lying to everyone, the bitter chill in the air biting through his thin black suit when he’s out at night. But now he is impossibly warm and feels safe as he's ever felt. Exhausted in Foggy’s arms, in clothes he helped him get dressed in and with warmth radiating from his stomach full from meal Foggy made for him. If there’s heat coming from places below that, he chastely ignores it. But he’s so tired and the most comfortable he can ever remember being. Matt doesn’t care if they ever talk about this right now. He wants to stay here forever. And if they have to get up eventually, he just prays it happens again. Maybe that's a greedy thought, but right now he doesn't care. He nearly drifts off but then he hears Foggy's heartbeat ratchet up.
"You know I love you, right?" Foggy asks into his neck.
"I know- I knew you did. I was just hoping" Matt pauses "I was really hoping that was still the case".
"Well whatever it means, whatever it's worth. I love you Matt. Please remember that".
"I'll do my best". Matt hesitates. "I love you Foggy. I don't if you should-“
"Quiet Murdock. We can have the heavy conversations tomorrow. I just needed to say that".
"Thank you. For saying it".
"Course Matt. Now you can really sleep, okay?"
"Okay". Matt says pushing the dread from his mind and focusing on the fire in his chest. Enough to keep them both warm all night.