Animal Instincts
Hank looked at the green-tinted liquid in the syringe. He checked the amount, then his notes. His heart pounded in his chest. After months and months of research and testing...this was it. If he was right, this drug would temporarily suppress the X-gene. And, more importantly, suppress his physical mutations. He'd look normal. He'd be, for all intents and purposes, human. At least until the drug wore off.
This came dangerously close to trying to "cure" mutants. Hank knew that. And he knew that curing mutants wasn't his goal. But...he just wanted to be able to go out in public without facing fear and hatred. He wanted to walk down a street and have people smile at him. And...if he could look normal, perhaps, just perhaps, he could ask Miriam out on a date.
With a deep breath, he inserted the needle into a vein on the inside of his left elbow, and slowly depressed the plunger. The drug felt cold as it entered his bloodstream.
He pulled out the needle and applied a bandage, then sat and waited for the drug to take effect.
His breaths came quicker and quicker. His vision narrowed. And he felt the animal within him rising up. Hank McCoy faded, and only Beast remained.
—
She’d only tried to offer comfort. He’d crashed into the lab, clearly distressed, and then vanished behind a table. She’d found him hiding there, curled into a ball, whimpering. But at her touch, he’d roared, and grabbed her. Now here she was, his hands tight around her upper arms, pinning her to the wall. His eyes seemed frantic, feverish, and he growled, low in his throat.
Her heart raced. But she slowly lifted her hands and rested them on his wrists, moving her thumbs in what she hoped were gentle, soothing circles. “Hank,” she said gently, “Hank, it’s just me. It’s Miriam. Everything is okay. It’s okay.” Over and over, she repeated these words, hoping to get through to him.
He panted, his gold eyes fixed on hers. One of his hands spasmed, clamping down on her arm, and she winced. The little sound of pain she made seemed to finally reach him. He set her down gently.
She sank to the floor with a sigh. When he crouched down and reached out to her, she let him hold her face in his palm. It was warm and soft, as she’d always imagined. She closed her eyes and sighed.
He yawned like a cat, stretching. Miriam reached out and began to gently scratch behind his ears, propelled by an urge she didn’t quite understand. And as she did, Hank actually began to purr. She held in a chuckle.
Gradually, leaning into her hand, he sank down, relaxing into a puddle, his head coming to rest in her lap. His eyes closed, and his breathing deepened.
And of course, that was when the lab door hissed open again.
Miriam’s head whipped around. She didn’t shout out loud, but mentally yelled. Charles, don’t you dare come in here. I just got him calmed down.
As she’d suspected, it was Xavier at the door. He connected to her mind, and showed himself backing out, letting the lab door shut behind him. You’re okay then?
Of course. He’d never really hurt me. What the hell is going on?
I’m not quite sure. Hank’s mind is a jumble. Something about an experiment on himself. He rampaged through the mansion before he made it to you. No one is hurt. I believe he was just looking for someplace quiet and peaceful.
Well make sure no one disturbs us then. If it was an experimental medicine, then it should eventually wear off. I’ll stay with him until it does.
Can we bring you anything? Food?
What part of do not disturb us was unclear? Miriam sighed. Sorry, that was harsh. We’ll be fine. Shouldn’t take more than twenty-four hours and I can survive that easily. It’s best if everyone just leaves us alone, I think. Her hands moved on their own, continuing to scratch her friend’s ears. He purred in his sleep still, a low rumble that brought her an immeasurable sense of calm.
Very well. Good luck.
Thanks.
She leaned against the wall behind her and yawned. That purr…it had a certain soporific quality. Her eyelids became heavier…and heavier…
—
Hank woke up on the floor. What had happened? He remembered injecting himself, and then…
A small snore gave him a start, and he looked up. Miriam? She slept leaning against a wall, and his head was pillowed in her lap. Her fingers had tangled themselves in his hair.
God, she was beautiful.
He reached up, caressing her cheek. She leaned into his hand, sighing, still unconscious.
He sat up slowly, careful not to wake her. That’s when he noticed her upper arms: they were covered in bruises in the shape of…of his hands.
Memories flooded back in.
A haze. Animalistic urges. His intellect had been subsumed by the beast within him. The drug hadn’t worked. He’d wanted it to suppress his mutation but instead…he’d suppressed his humanity. And Miriam had gotten hurt.
Ah, Hank, welcome back. Charles’ voice spoke in his mind.
Hank sat, mute, staring at the bruises on Miriam’s arms—bruises he’d put there.
She wanted to stay with you, you know. She really cares about you.
Hank ignored Charles, ignored the tears budding at the corners of his eyes. He’d just wanted to be normal, and instead…he’d hurt Miriam. His best friend. The woman he loved, though he’d vowed never to tell. She deserved someone who could go out in public with her. Who wouldn’t lose control and leave her with bruises.
Miriam stirred, yawning. She stretched her arms over her head, but the pain of moving made her gasp. Hank’s heart twinged with pain. What had he done?
“Hank?” she murmured. “Hey, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”
“Miriam…Miriam, I…I’m so sorry.”
“F’r what?” She yawned again.
“I hurt you.”
She looked him in the eyes, suddenly serious. He could have melted into those eyes. “Hank, I don’t blame you at all. You weren’t in control and I startled you. As soon as you saw it was hurting me, you stopped. It’s okay.” A sudden grin spread across her face. “I’ve gotten worse bruises by accidentally falling down the stairs.”
Hank buried his face in his hands. How could she forgive him so easily?
He heard her scooting over to sit next to him, her leg pressing against his, and her arm around his shoulders. Or at least as far as she could reach. “Hank, what happened? Charles said he thought it was some kind of experiment?”
It came out in a rush. “I was trying a drug to suppress my mutation. To make me look normal. I just wanted…I wanted to be normal for a little bit, just to pretend. But it didn’t work. It did the opposite. It brought out the animal and suppressed the human. It failed. And now I have to start over.”
“You…you were…trying to make yourself look normal?” Miriam’s voice seemed strained, almost angry. “Hank, I…” She sighed. After a few deep breaths, she spoke again. “I know I can’t understand your experience fully. But Hank…promise me if you’re going to experiment again, that you won’t do it alone. Promise you’ll let me help. And…if it’s just about looking normal…I can do that for you. I can create an illusion for you.” She looked at him. “Don’t do this alone, Hank. I’m here for you. I’m here to help you. And I want you to know I like you just how you are, blue and all.”
He had no words. So he just hugged her. He buried his face in her neck, basking in her scent, holding her close. She held him back, tightly, and they sat like that for a while, neither wanting to be the first to let go.