When you decided to learn ASL you thought an online dictionary would be enough. But as you got more into it, you realized that nothing is better than having someone to practice with you. Just as any other language, having a practice partner was way better than just repeating the signs along the lady on the screen of your computer.
You looked for a local partner, someone who lived close to you so you could go out and practice daily vocabulary. The website suggested a nearby professor and you contacted her, finding out she was a cousin of a friend of yours.
"Maya Lopez", you practiced her name in signs, not wanting to embarrass yourself when you first met. Her profile showed a short video of her introducing herself and welcoming the new students.
Maya was a kick boxing fighter. She was born deaf and worked with her cousin fixing cars and motorbikes. She liked opened spaces and ice cream, and her favorite color was red. You could learn all that information from her video.
- - -
The first meeting was for introduction and practicing the alphabet. You learned her sign and she came up with one for youself, as you slowly bonded. A month later, you noticed your vocabulary growing but it was still very limited. Even with a tutor and the online dictionary, you felt like you still had difficulties in learning.
You and Maya became friends and your teacher-student relationship was mostly put aside. She'd take you for sweets, teaching you the signs to order her favorites, and you'd show her more about yourself, asking how to sign for this and that.
It was easy to have her around and you enjoyed each other's presence a little too much. You caught yourself thinking about her, planning small dates with her with the excuse of them being extra classes.
"I think I'll ask her out. Like, on a date.", you mentioned to Biscuits, her cousin and your friend, making him smile wildly. "That'd be nice.", he encouraged. "She'd liked that.", he said.
Biscuits was known for giving out too much information without being asked to. He was just that naive. His little confirmation made your heart jump on its cage. You let his words sink into you and gave it deep thought, postponing your meetings with Maya as you debated how to approach her, not noticing it actually put some distance between you two.
- - -
Maya sit on the outside of her favorite bakery, playing with a croissant on her plate. You were supposed to meet her one hour ago. At first she thought you were just late, but now it seemed like you were not coming at all.
She tried texting you, getting no reply. When she was about to put her phone back in her pocket, ready to leave, you arrived approaching her table in a rush.
She looked at you with a serious expression, crossing her arms in front of her, waiting for you to explain why you were so late and hadn't texted her.
You noticed she was upset and felt guilty. You could have texted her before but you were too busy learning the signs to confess, but now you were so nervous it seemed like you forgot even the letters of your own name.
Maya realized you were not gonna speak so she took the lead. She was tired of fooling around.
"I can't be your teacher anymore. I fell in love with you, this is not professional.", she signed, an unbothered expression on her face. As if she was not opening her heart to you.
You looked at her with lots of concentration, but could only understand a few signs. At times like this, you realized you really needed more practice.
"I know we became friends and i like what we have. But this can't continue.", she went on, still standing by the table. "Whenever we meet, i want to hold you. When we're together i want to be close to you, to feel you. It's okay if you don't feel the same, i just really wanted you to know.", she placed her hands on her pockets, trying to be patient and give you time. it didn't last long.
"Say something!", she pushed, irritated that you were just staring at her this whole time.
"I don't understand.", you signed slowly, disappointed at your own lack of vocabulary.
Maya huffed. She signed to you again but it made no difference. "I don't understand. Sorry.", you repeated. She grew more impatient.
"Download a dictionary and go study more.You sign like shit", she signed, scolding you for being her worst student.
"That i understand.", you replied, your hands moving a bit faster for the signs you were more familiar with.
Maya looked at you and took a deep breath. Again. "You're silly. And beautiful. It feels nice to be around you, i have a lot of fun when we hang out. But we can't be friends.", she finished.
You looked at her confused. "We can't be friends? Why?", you asked, sadness adorning your face.
"I don't want to be your friend. I want to kiss you.", she signed and waited for you to reply, expectation boiling in her insides.
But you only stared at her confused. "I don't understand."
Maya lost her temper. It was infuriating how she was trying to confess and you were clearly not studying half of what you should. She took you by the collar and kissed you full on the mouth, feeling your lips vibrate as you hummed in surprise.
"You understand that?', she signed exasperatedly, waiting for you to finally say something.
"I don't understand.", you started. Maya was ready to throw you inside the bakkery through the window but you continued.
"If you kiss me again maybe i understand better.", you signed in reply and her annoyance slowly faded.