Forgiveness? No, thanks.
For two weeks since your absence, the rumor mills up in full force since your departure. Of course, people heard the truth about you and Miguel, but people also heard the two of you arguing and now with your disappearance people were talking. It didn’t help that Miguel was in a worse mood than usual with your absence. He was grumpier than usual, shouting at anything that anyone did even if it was something successful or useful. Everyone at headquarters was walking on eggshells around him and even that was too loud. Not even Jess, Lyla, or Lego Peter Parker could put him in a better mood.
The whispers in the corridors about your absence infuriated him even more. When were you going to return? Why haven’t you contacted him yet? Why haven’t you contacted anyone yet? Everyone knew better than to ask him about you missing from his side, you are missing from your lab, you are missing from headquarters. If Miguel wasn’t storming around headquarters looking for someone to take his aggression out on, he locked himself away in his lab not daring anyone to interfere with his sulking. If only he would go and apologize to you, all his problems would be solved but he wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to apologize because he wasn’t wrong. Well, yes, he was wrong, but you were the one who started it. You were the one who started the rumors, this was your fault. It had to be your fault, he wouldn’t have had to face the fact that everyone knew that you were too good to be with him, that you were too kind, too smart, too great to be with him. Everyone loved you and he…... and you were the only one he was able to tolerate besides Jess. Your absence was missed by everyone.
Miguel, Hobie, Gwen, and Pav all watched Miguel storm around for those two weeks hoping that you would have returned by now. This wasn’t the first time the two of you have argued but it is the first time you didn’t return to headquarters after a day of cool off period. They were all starting to get worried about you since no one could contact you in your universe since your watch was inactive. It was decided that one of them would have to visit you to check on you and inquire about when you were going to be back to fix things with Miguel.
The first person to visit you in your universe was Miles, the sweet baby angel pacing out in front of your condo awaiting your answer to his call from the door. Miles looks at you sheepishly, “Hey kid, what are you doing here?” You greet him by letting him into your condo.
“I just wanted to check and see if you were okay since you didn’t show up to HQ and no one can reach you.” He said awkwardly, scratching the back of his head not knowing what to say, there wasn’t a plan for his arrival. The gang just assumed once you spoke to Miles that it may just get you to come back, you would hopefully assume that Miguel may have sent him or something. You gave him a tiny laugh, knowing that it was everyone else but him that is reaching on about your wellbeing.
“I’m fine darling, just trying to adjust my watch in peace. Hopefully, it will be able to help everyone when it’s finished.”
‘Everyone’ you said, not ‘us’ but everyone, excluding yourself. You didn’t know if you were going to go back, returning to headquarters was the furthest thing on your mind. Your only focus is making the adjustments and protecting your own universe. You never took anything from Miguel, and you weren’t going to start now. He hurt you, the only person who was patient with him, the only person who gave him the grace that he didn’t deserve, the only person who he thought understood him. You. Miles could feel the pain in your voice, could see it in your eyes but you still held that small smile attempting to reassure him that everything was fine even if it was a lie to him and yourself.
“Well, we all miss you. We all do.” Miles attempts to say the quiet part out loud. That everyone misses you, that Miguel misses you, but there was no way you were going to believe that until you heard it from him.
You give a defeated sigh, “Yeah, I know but work must be done. The multiverse isn’t going to save itself.”
Miles's eyes are kind as you attempt to joke about the situation, he gives you a sad smile nodding at you in understanding. He leaves you to your work and your thoughts. All your thoughts are avoiding thinking about that one thing, that one person. Your heart is heavy with Miles's departure, but you won’t focus on that.
Once Miles turns back to headquarters the gang surrounds him with questions, hoping that he received the confirmation that you were going to be coming back to headquarters soon and Miguel's tirade would stop. The look on Miles's face told everyone everything they needed to know before he could even answer any of their questions.
“She looked so sad,” is how Miles starts as he tells them what happened when he went to meet with you, almost in a hushed whisper as if Miguel would hear them from his office. No one knew exactly what he had said to you to make you leave but now after Miles returned it must have been something that would not only make you stay away for so long but still affect you enough to sadden you. They agreed to give you some more space and time since you seemed to want to be left alone for the time being.
Even still, after another two weeks, there was still no word from you. You've been gone for almost a month now and Miguel has just gotten worse. You couldn’t even imagine how bad. It wasn’t even his temper anymore; he was fucking up. Missions were going poorly, anomalies weren’t being captured properly, and even worse Miguel got hurt. It was stupid and was easily avoidable and yet his mind was everywhere else but on catching anomalies. It was about you and his last moments with you. All he could see was your face, your eyes, the tears that were threatening to spill, and the way you looked at him with such pain. He was distracted and careless. A green goblin anomaly got him good and broke at least two of his ribs. Nothing that would do any permanent damage or leave him out of commission for more than a day or so, but the anomaly got away and he fucked up. Because of you. All because of you and that made him even more upset. Why weren’t you back yet? Why were you distracting him even if you weren’t even here?
“Just go and apologize to her” Lyla snarks at Miguel as he sulks in pain in his lab. He groans attempting to ignore her until she pops up right in front of his face. “Seriously Miguel, I don’t think she’s going to return unless you go and apologize.”
“I have nothing to apologize for” He scoffs attempting to swat the AI away. His last memories of you flash behind his eyes, ‘Fuck you, Miguel’ were your final words to him as you left headquarters eyes filling with tears. He never wanted to see your face like that again and he didn’t think even if he apologized you would accept it. You had never spoken to him like that before, at least not in a serious manner, and never cried because of him. He didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t apologize. He just couldn’t. Miguel resigned to not seeing you until you decided to come back to headquarters until you decided to forgive him on your own.
That was until a week later when Miles Morales as gently as possible webbed his way onto Miguel's office platform. Miguel barely even acknowledged his presence, just grunted in his direction as he continued to focus on the screens in front of him. Carefully, Miles walked up and placed a multiverse gizmo on his desk. It almost immediately caught Miguel's attention because it wasn’t any gizmo, it was YOUR gizmo. Obviously, it was yours because while everyone else’s was black, yours was your favorite color. Miguel just glared at it and in the silence, Miles decided to speak.
“She asked me to give it to you. Said that there were modifications to it to help direct the spider society closer to the anomalies when we use it. She said you would be able to figure it out.” Miles explained, his voice softer than usual to not agitate Miguel because Miles knew what it meant when you gave that to Miguel.
It meant that you weren’t coming back. It meant that you were standing up to Miguel and his shit. Someone had to and it had always been you but never like this, never to the point of not returning. Now Miguel was panicking, he thought that eventually you would just come back fuss at him, and forgive him but no, you were leaving. You were leaving society; you were leaving him. His panic turned into rage and his rage turned into him pounding at your window in the middle of the night after going to your universe.
The banging on your window was completely unexpected, your spidey senses feeling it before it happened making you jolt out of bed. You knew it was him even in your groggy state before you went to your window, you just didn’t think it would ever be him. Your eyes went wide blinking at him as if he was an apparition, you knew it had to be him because your body told you so but it truly just couldn’t be. You hadn’t seen him in over a month and you were sure that he resigned to go back running the society alone without your assistance. Unconsciously, you open your window letting him in and he starts his tantrum.
“What kind of scientist are you that you let a child bring in one of your projects without an explanation on anything?” He starts attempting to tower over you as you're still waking up from your abrupt sleep interruption.
“Huh” You’re confused looking up at him, forgetting that you finally finished making the modifications to your gizmo, giving it to Miles on his last visit to you. He came immediately after Miguel got hurt, hoping that would soften you enough to come back to headquarters. It didn’t, which is why you gave Miles your finished prototype and told him to tell Miguel to figure it out.
“So, you didn’t give Miles your gizmo and tell me to figure it out??” He glowed down at you as you noticed he was gripping your watch with the band to not damage it.
You slowly start coming to your senses, realizing what was happening, “I assumed it would be helpful to the society with the modifications I made and an idiot could figure out how to work it. So there was no need for me to explain anything.” Your hands cross under your chest, not thinking how it is pushing your boobs and shirt up towards him. Miguel almost falters watching you do that, realizing that you in fact were only in a shirt, his shirt (and maybe panties but he could barely tell).
“Why haven’t you returned to headquarters?” another question, no apology, but yet another question.
“For what Miguel? I did my job good enough in my universe, yes? You would have been able to test it properly if you weren’t here right now. And yet, you are. Why are you here?” Your eyes narrow at him as you ask the question, he didn’t want you to. “Isn’t it easier without my presence annoying you? You can figure things out by yourself, no?”
You throw his words back in his face, getting as upset as him. How dare he barge into your universe? How dare he act like he hasn’t done anything wrong? Why is it always like trying to move an immovable object with him? He was the one always pushing you away. He was the one who said that your ‘business’ was annoying and that you should keep him out of it. Foolish of you to believe that at one point he may have cared for you, that in some universe that couldn’t be one that either of you would ever visit the two of you would be together, the two of you would make sense.
You could tell that Miguel was frustrated by what you said, irritated, he mumbled under his breath in Spanish. He rakes his hand through his hair starting to pace back and forth in your bedroom. He throws your watch on your bed as he comes to stand in front of you, his thoughts making no sense in his own head. The exhale he makes from his nose washes over your face, but you stand tall glaring up at him, challenging him as you always did. As he looked down at you, the one thing on his mind that he never wanted to admit was blaring at him. He loved you; he fucking loved you and he hated that he loved you. He hated that he didn’t feel good enough for you and he hated that everyone else saw that he wasn’t good enough for you.
His voice was low and soft as he spoke back to you, “Why did you tell Ben we were dating?” You were taken back for a second, almost annoyed that he was bringing this up again. Was this really the issue of everything? As long as he told everyone the truth it would have died down and no one would have really cared.
“Seriously Miguel?!” You throw your hands up frustrated, “This again?? What’s the issue?? We aren’t and it doesn’t matter!”
“You don’t think it hurts for everyone to talk about how I could never be good enough to be with you?? How you’re so much better than me and have no good reason to be with me anyway??” He grits through his teeth as he runs both his hands over his face and hair again. Your eyes go wide in shock and misunderstanding.
“What are you talking about?” You ask taking a step back to look at him, he’s shaking, hands opening and closing in frustration, saying what you assumed were curses in Spanish.
“Just because I don’t have spidey senses, doesn’t mean I can’t hear.” His head turns from you as you look at him yet again in confusion. “Everyone in the society said you were too good for me, that there was no way that you would actually want to be with me” His voice was softer than you had ever heard him speak when he said that, and it broke your heart. How could he not see how much you cared for him? How could he not understand that the reason you were comfortable with the fake dating is because you wouldn’t have minded it being real? But that didn’t give him the right to treat you that way.
“So you hurt me because of what other people said? You truly think I care nothing for you Mig?” You say just as softly as he did, looking up at him fighting the urge to hold his face in your hands.
“I….” He starts as he gazes down at you, pausing and unpausing as he fights to hold your face in his hands also. “I know I’m not good enough for you. I’ve known since the first day I laid my eyes on you that I would never be good enough for you.” He confessed and tears started to build along your lash line at his words.
“I’m sorry….” He says before hesitantly grasping your cheek, “You are too good for me, but I want you so badly. I want to kiss you, hold you, go to bed with you, wake up to you. You’re everything I am not and more.”
“Miguel” You barely whisper as your hand grasps onto the wrist that was holding your cheek.
“I hated hearing what I already felt from everyone.” He confessed.
You looked up at him, his brown eyes filled with sadness. You, who knew him better than anyone, should have known this. But you didn’t, he kept this hidden even from you. As you locked eyes with him, the walls you had built towards him almost immediately crumbled and a spark of courage flowed through you. You press on the balls of your feet upwards, lips landing directly on his. Your hands make their way around his neck as he freezes for a moment in your embrace until realizing that you’re kissing him. YOU are kissing HIM. Once his brain catches up to reality his hands immediately wrap around your waist, drawing you into him to deepen the kiss. Your mouths move against each other as if they are in a dance that only they know. As things get more intense, your hands find his face and pull the two of you apart.
You pant a little before speaking, “Why didn’t you come for me sooner?”
“I didn’t think you wanted me.”
“I’ve always wanted you.”