Fallen: Reborn

Perse had met with Loki again, this time joined by Natasha. She thought having Nat around would make things easier, but in fact it seemed to make things worse. She was so scared that she’d mess up in front of the highly trained spy, and it was causing her to become quite distracted. Energy kept flying randomly, and she had managed to hit yet another punching bag.

“You keep losing your concentration. You must stay focused,” Loki scolded.

“I know, I know…” Perse tried again to look inside and try to separate her emotion from her magic. She could feel the separation, but keeping it there while she conjured up a  stronger emotion was where things went wrong.

“I want you to think of something that will spark some emotion in you. Nothing too strong.” Loki guided. Perse closed her eyes and imagined the incident that had just passed recently. She remembered how frustrated she felt about her progress and her embarrassment and guilt when she accidentally fired off her energy, singeing Loki’s hair. She could feel the emotion in her rising, and could feel the magic within her pulsing as well.

“Good, good, keep that thought in mind as you try to separate the emotion from the magic. Breathe through it.” Loki continued. She could feel her magic getting stronger, but kept it separated from the memory as much as she could. Loki smirked a bit as energy sparked from her hands. That’s all it did. No big blast or surge of energy. Just a few sparks. Perse slowly opened her eyes, looking at her hands. The sparks fell away, and a large grin spread across her face. She glanced up and met Loki’s gaze, who had a look of pride.

“I… did it?” She asked hesitantly. He nodded, smiling back at her.

“You did it. You faced some tougher emotions and only let a few sparks fly. With more training, you’ll be able to completely separate the two.”

Press’s face lit up as she turned to Natasha.

“Nat, did you see? Did you see? I did it!” Perse kept exclaiming. Nat chuckled at her friend. It was like watching a toddler show their mother something they were proud of. She stood and put her hands up slightly, urging Perse to relax a bit.

“I saw, hon. But remember you don’t have it completely under control quite yet. Tony would kill us all if you blew another hole into his wall.”

Perse chuckled sheepishly, shaking the energy that was building in her hands away before locking arms with Nat. They began walking out of the training room, before Perse remembered her teacher.

“Oh! Loki!” She spun around, seeing him get up off the floor. He looked at her, confused. “We’re going to go upstairs for lunch and probably a movie. Come join us!” Nat twisted her face in disgust a bit, to which Loki took notice of.

“I think it would be preferable if I just went back to my chambers,” He spoke stiffly. Perse looked confused and little hurt.

“What? No, come join us. I want you to,” She said, taking him by surprise. He stood still for a moment, contemplating his options. The assassin certainly didn’t want him there, and so what if Perse did? He wasn’t at her beck and call. Though, he did find himself enjoying the company of the woman, which was a strange thing to take notice of.

He gave a simple nod, to which Perse smiled. Nat rolled her eyes a bit, but not to the point that Perse would notice. The three of them made their way back to the common area. Nat made lunch while Perse grabbed plates and silverware. She began to set the table, when Nat called out,

“We’re gonna be sitting on the couch while we eat, actually.” Perse gave a small nod and stacked the plates back up, handing the plates to Nat as she placed the food.

“Why?” She inquired. They always ate at the table. It was strange for a change of pace now.

“Because we are going to watch that movie I told you about, and it can’t wait ‘til after lunch,” Nat said with a grin. Perse’s eyes lit up.

“The musical??” She asked excitedly. Nat nodded as a wide grin grew on Perse’s face. She turned to Loki. “You will stay and watch, right?”

He looked at her for a moment, surprised by the question.

“I planned on it.” She grinned more and grabbed his arm.

“Yes! Sorry, I know you aren’t too fond of earth’s films. But I’d still enjoy your company, I’m glad you’re going to stay and watch.” She turned back to the plates and silverware, as lunch was finished.

Loki couldn’t help but gaze at her, his face full of confusion. She really enjoyed his company? His? Why? What about him was so enjoyable? He’d been nothing but short and positively rude to her. He’d treated her as less than, yet she still wanted him around?

However, as he thought back throughout their alone time together, he realized that he’d begun to behave differently with her than he did with everyone else. With the team, he was always putting on a front. A mask of superiority and deceit. One that left them wondering if he could be trusted. But with her, he was able to start taking off the mask. He was encouraging and uplifting. He teased her, but in a way a friend would. He comforted her when she needed it. It was nice to let that side of him out. Why did he only let her see that side of him? Was he afraid of how the others would perceive him if he let that side of him show? He never had close friends, and when the true him came out, it was put down, ridiculed, or ignored. His mischief and teasing was taken literally, and it just came off as rude, which made people distrust and dislike him. It was easier to just be the jerk and mischievous scamp they had already decided he was. Could he possibly come to change that? Did he want to? Especially with people like the Avengers, who had seen a side of him that was not only irritating, but deadly? And what made her so different? Was it her background that made her so quick to forgive and forget? She had grown closer to him, and only a week ago did she despise him. She knew what he had done to New York. She remembered what he’d done to her. She believed him to be one of the gods that abandoned her in her most desperate time, and yet had grown to be the closest person to him in the tower, despite how distant they still might be. She confused him, and left him wondering why.

Being pulled from his thoughts, Perse called his name and waved him over to the couch. He took the last plate of food off the counter and walked to where the two women were seated. Perse patted the cushion next to her and he took a seat. Nat grabbed the remote and turned on the movie.

They ate their lunch while watching, Perse very invested in the film. The music was great and the story was strange but intriguing. Even a bit scary at times, but she thoroughly enjoyed it. When the movie was over, she immediately grabbed her phone and added the soundtrack to her music playlists.

“I take it you enjoyed the movie?” Nat asked, knowingly. Perse grinned at her.

“Of course I did! It was amazing!” She exclaimed. “It was strange and dark, but comedic and thought-provoking! Ah, I loved it!” She turned to Loki. “What did you think?” she asked him. She had shown him a new film every night they’d been alone, hoping that he would grow to love the cinema as she did. It’d be nice to have another story-fanatic to indulge with. Little did she know, it was working. He shook his head back and forth, letting out an “eh”. Perse laughed and softly elbowed him. “You know it was great,” she laughed. She turned back to Nat to discuss the movie.

Perse was, yet again, correct. Loki found the movie and the music to be rather enjoyable. However, he was more fond of watching Perse fawn over it. She got a look of pure joy on her face when she watched her movies, and it was something that Loki was growing to enjoy.

Goodness, what was happening to him? His eyebrows knit softly as he thought about the woman who had softened him in a little over a week. Was he really changing? Did he even want to change? He’d told himself playing nice with the mortal was for his own benefit. Something he could use in the future when it was time to claim his place in power. But now when he thought about those plans, he felt guilt wash through him. It wasn’t strong, but it wasn’t something he’d ever noticed before. And it was getting stronger. It was a mere afterthought before when he considered using her, but now it was sharp and clear. The first thing he became aware of when he even thought about turning his back on her.

Loki excused himself from the two women, much to Perse’s dismay, and walked back to his room. He was still unsure of how he would behave around the others, but it was almost relieving to behave in such a manner around her. It was like being in the company of his mother, the only other person who saw this side of him. The side that he’d suppressed for longer than he cared to remember.

He needed a distraction. He didn’t want to keep thinking about this. He was losing himself. Wasn’t he?

Loki grabbed a book and began to read, passing time in a way he found enjoyable. He paused for a moment after some time had passed, pondering. Perse was very adamant about showing him an aspect of life she thoroughly enjoyed. Perhaps he could do the same. He thought over the books in his possession and thought of one that would be good to introduce her to. He smiled gently at the thought, but quickly scowled and pushed it away. How disgusting. He’d been softened more than he previously thought. He clicked his tongue in disappointment and turned back to his book, killing time until it was time for dinner.

-

Nat watched as Loki excused himself and walked out of the room. As soon as she heard the elevator doors close, she spoke up.

“Okay, explain to me what’s going on between the two of you.” Perse was caught off guard. She was still in the middle of discussing the movie, and suddenly was hit with a complete change in conversation.

“What are you talking about?” She asked, confused. Nat rolled her eyes.

“Oh, come on Perse, you can’t tell me you’re blind to it.” Perse’s face scrunched slightly with confusion, not following what Nat was trying to explain. Nat groaned and rolled her eyes, moving to face Perse more head on. “Perse, we leave you alone with the man you had a grudge against for a few days, and you’re all buddy-buddy when we come back. You’ve only gotten closer since we’ve been here. Hell, the guy watched you most of the movie rather than the screen.”

Perse blinked. “Well, he’s gotten friendlier since you’ve been gone. He was my only company for a few days, aside from JARVIS, and I got to know him better. We moved past our difficulties, for now, I suppose. I’d like to say we’re on the road to being friends.”

Nat rolled her eyes again. “Yeah, alright Perse.” She spoke as she stood. She walked back to the elevator, as Perse called out to her.

“Is that such a bad thing??” She got no response in return. She only heard the elevator doors open and shut. She turned away from the elevator, eyebrows furrowed. She supposed it would take the others a while to warm up to him. Hopefully that’d be sooner rather than later. And hopefully Perse was right about her relationship journey with Loki…

-

As the team gathered for dinner, tensions began to rise. Clint was still staring daggers at Loki, who only stared back unbothered in response. The table was engaged in conversation, when the conversation steered back to work.

“At least we got it, now we know it can’t fall into the wrong hands,” Cap spoke. Clint scoffed.

“We do?” He spat, looking at Loki. Loki raised his eyebrows as he looked around at the team.

“I’m sorry, did your last little mission have something concerning me?” He asked firmly. Tony tried to cut off Clint, but he kept speaking, his voice raising.

“Yeah, actually. We have that scepter of yours. If you were to get ahold of your precious weapon again, who knows what you’d do? Kill us all? Finally get what you want and enslave humanity? How many more people need to die before you’re satisfied?” Clint spoke, venom lining his words. Loki furrowed his brows, anger getting the better of him.

“You don’t know what you’re speaking of, Barton. My purpose for being here does not involve any more harm. That would simply be a death sentence for me.” Clint laughed at this.

“If you had the power you had before, do you really think you’d be concerned with death? As long as both of them are in the building, it isn’t safe to be here.” He spoke to the rest of the team.

“Clint-“ Perse tried to chime in.

“No, Perse!” He yelled, Perse being taken aback. He’d never yelled at her before. “After what he put me through, put all of us through, you all can just sit here and let him live a normal life?! I had him hack into my brain and use me like a puppet, and none of that seems to matter anymore!” He turned back to Loki. “You may have fooled the rest of them, but I know what you are. You’re deceiving, untrustworthy, and downright evil. And I refuse to have anything to do with a monster like you.”

“Clint that’s enough!” Perse yelled back, the napkin in her hands beginning to smoke.

“Perse, how can you sit here and defend him like this?! You!!” Clint retorted.

“He’s trying!!” She yelled, standing up now. “Granted, he isn’t trying very hard, but the effort is present! Would he be teaching me how to manage my abilities if he wasn’t? Or would he have watched movies with me every night while you all were away? Would even be eating with us if he wasn’t trying?!”

“Perse, you’re being ridiculous!!” Clint yelled back, rising to his feet too. “He’s just buttering you up to stab you in the back, it’s all he knows!! You’re gonna end up dead in the dirt one day and none of us are going to be able to save you because you decided to put your faith in a selfish, double-crossing murderer!!”

“Clint!” Nat said, her voice sharp. His eyes flickered to her.

“That’s enough, Clint,” Steve added. Clint looked around the table, his eyes falling on Perse’s last. Her eyes were watery and harsh, her hands flickering with white. He let out a humorless chuckle.

“You would fight for him, wouldn’t you?”

“Enough, Barton. Say what you will about me, but don’t spurn her with your anger or hurtful words.” Loki said to Clint, who was still red with anger. He looked over the group of uncomfortable faces at the table. “I can see that I am not needed, nor wanted here. I suppose I will retire for the evening.” He stood up and left the table, leaving his hardly touched food behind.

“Loki-“ Perse called after him, but he kept walking. After the elevator had left the floor, she turned to Clint in anger.

“How dare you. You had no right to speak to him, to any of us, in such a manner!” Clint furrowed his eyebrows, surprised to be hearing this from her.

“Out of anyone, I’d expect you to understand! You’ve dealt with mind control yourself, how can you sit here and defend him when he did the exact same thing to me?!”

“Because you know nothing of his situation and what placed him there!” She shouted back. She began to develop a white aura around her, but she didn’t care. “He was under mind control himself when the events of New York occurred! I may not know much about the accident, but I do know that he was not in his right mind, just as you weren’t. How can you stand there and hold the innocent guilty?! He is here trying to become a better person, to repay those he has wronged and to atone for his mistakes! And he was hardly in the wrong! If he had been clear minded during it all, I would completely understand your anger, but you cannot possibly hold someone accountable for what they did when someone else was playing puppet master with their mind.”

“You don’t understand, he could be lying about that! He could be lying about everything! How can we trust the god of lies to be truthful about anything?!“

“You want him to change, yet you throw any good thing he does in the dirt!! How is he expected to rehabilitate if every effort he puts out gets rejected and told it wasn’t good enough?! You’re not even giving him a chance!”

“I never wanted to give him a chance! That was a decision that was made without my input! His intentions are selfish and cruel, and he’s using you to get where he wants to be!”

“Why in the world would he be teaching me how to utilize my powers properly just to stab me in the back?! I know just how dangerous I can be, and I’m sure he has an idea. Why would he train me to use it to its full potential if he knew one day I wouldn’t hesitate to use it against him?!”

“He’s the God of Lies!! And he’s got you right where he wants you!! Why are you fighting so hard to defend him?!”

“Because he’s my friend!” She shouted, energy surging from her hands. The room fell silent as her words sank in. She lifted her hands and saw two burn marks on the table beneath them from her magic. She closed her eyes and collected herself, her aura diminishing, before speaking again. “Clint, we do not know each other very well. I do not know your situation fully, just as you do not know mine. But I must say, from what I’ve seen and heard from you just now, it makes me fear what you may think of me once you discover the sins locked away in my past. Would you fight so diligently to send me away if you knew what was written in my history?”

She left the table, grabbing both her plate and Loki’s. She turned around and began walking to the elevator. Once inside, she turned back to glance at the table, the heroes all staring back at her. She kept eye contact with them until the doors had shut. Once closed, she closed her eyes and took a breath. She knew Clint was justified in feeling angry, but she couldn’t let someone stand there and berate Loki like that. She knew Loki couldn’t be fully trusted, but certainly it wasn’t just selfish motives behind his aid and kindness. Well, maybe not kindness, but he wasn’t being outright rude anymore. Clint may have felt anger for what had happened to him, but Loki hadn’t been in control either. It was foolish to hold him fully responsible. If Clint was willing to give her a chance, why couldn’t he do the same for Loki? Why wasn’t he allowed to change and grow when she was?

The elevator reached the bedrooms, and Perse made her way to Loki’s room. Knocking with her foot, she called out to the man beyond the door.

“Loki? Loki, it’s Perse, please open the door.” Silence ensued for a moment, before she spoke up again. “Loki, please, I have your dinner, and my arms are full…” Another moment of silence ensued, before the door opened. Loki looked at her, an eyebrow raised. He still had a face of neutrality on. “Hi… Can I come in?” she asked softly. He took a breath, his face remaining unbothered, and gestured with his head for her to come in.

As she walked in, she took in the beauty that was his room. It was completely different from hers. The walls were a deep green with golden trim. There was a large bed in the center of the room, with a dark green bedspread. Gold lined almost everything, and there seemed to be a theme of green and black within the room. Everything was so beautiful. It left her room looking dull as dirt. Shaking it away, she set the dinners down on a desk that sat in the corner of the room. She turned back to Loki, who simply stared at her with his arms crossed as he leaned against a bedpost.

“Is there something you needed?” He spoke firmly. He hadn’t used this tone with her since before her training. She sat stunned for a moment, but brushed it off as him being upset.

“I’m sorry for the manner in which Clint spoke to you tonight. While he was justified in his anger, he does not understand the whole situation.”

Loki raised a brow. “And you do?” She stared at him with a little bit of shock and hurt.

“W-well, I know you weren’t in your right mind either during that time. It isn’t fair to hold you accountable. You don’t deserve-“ He cut her off.

“You think you know me so well, don’t you? You think you’ve got me all figured out. What I do and do not deserve. What is and what isn’t going on in my mind. You know very little of who I am, mortal. I don’t need your pity.” He spat out at her. She didn’t know what to say. Her face morphed from one of sorrow to one of anger.

“I offered you no pity, only empathy. I know more about you than you think. I have lived that part of your story. I have experienced the mind warping, the torture, the brainwashing. I came here because I know what it is like. Do not pretend that I don’t.” She spat back. She walked back to his door, opening it but not stepping through. She turned to speak one last thing to him. “I did not stand up for you because I pitied you. I stood up for you because I was under the impression that you were my friend. Perhaps I was wrong.”

Perse walked through the door and let it slam, realizing after that she had left her meal in there. She shook her head and walked back to her room. She could get more later. Right now, she really just wanted to be alone. After all that had transpired between them, she had not expected Loki to behave in such a childlike manner. Perhaps she was wrong. Maybe he only saw her as a charity case. Someone who was so helpless he figured he’d help. Or even worse, maybe Clint was right. Maybe he had been planning on using her after all. He was the god of lies, after all. Perhaps he had been toying with her the entire time.

She changed into some comfy clothes and got ready for sleep. Laying down in her bed, she turned on some soft music and regulated her breathing. She looked out to the window on the far end of her room. She could see the moon out. She sighed and stared at it until the soft light and gentle music lulled her to sleep.