End Of Beginning

Peter

Peter swings around Hell’s Kitchen, watching the sun rise on the horizon as he goes. “I don’t need to talk to Karen, I can solve problems on my own.” He mutters to himself.

He was back to worrying about people hiding in shady alleyways instead of large mechanised men, and, although he did not like the fact that said mechanised man ended up dead, Peter was glad to be back to doing the simple things.

His stomach had healed up well, a thin scar all that was left to show. He used to not have a scar at all, his skin healing as smooth as it had been before he was injured, but he found in the past couple years that the best he got was a thin pale scar.

Was it because he barely ate? Probably.

Was it because he barely slept? Even more probable.

The two scars left from Scorpion’s tail are on the same side as each other, making it look as if Peter had been impaled.

Peter focused on holding himself back tonight with the smaller criminals, having not held back as much as usual when fighting Scorpion. He was nervous that he wouldn’t be able to fight normally again, but he practised throwing weak punches, using dodges over hits as often as possible.

He was doing fine when it came to holding his punches, but his spidey senses were still bugging him. He was getting punched and stabbed more often than he used to. He practised focusing on his other senses like Matt had taught him, and it helped, but it did nothing for his spidey senses. If anything, focusing on his other senses simply dulled his spidey senses.

So he switched it up, he focused on his spidey senses. At one point he had tried closing his eyes, curious about what Matt felt like when he fought. He stopped doing that after receiving a shallow graze from a knife blade.

He’d tried everything.

Waiting until the last moment before dodging.

Closing his eyes again. That was stupid, why did he try that again.

Pretending he didn’t see the criminals when he stumbled upon them.

Heck he even let them get a couple of hits in first to see if that would spark them.

Nothing more than a tiny tingle.

Peter webs up his final criminal of the morning and walks the person he had saved through calling the police.

“Hey spider.” The lady he’d webbed up calls out to him. Peter smirks, walking over.

“Hey criminal.” Peter mimics. The lady looks him up and down, squinting when she looks at his mask.

“Wait a minute, you’re not Spider-Man.” Peter tilts his head, confused.

“Yes I am?” The lady shakes her head and Peter looks around.

“Well, I don’t see any other guy dressed up as a spider webbing up criminals, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Spider-Man has a red mask, not a blue one.”.

“What, am I not allowed to change up my look?” He asks, smirking. The lady shakes her head again.

“It looks stupid. I don’t want to spend my morning webbed to a wall, especially not if the guy who webbed me up looks stupid.” Peter webs up her mouth before swinging home.

He needed to get his old mask back.

~~~~~~

He doesn’t get it back. He spent a week trying to work up the guts to text Karen to ask her to talk, but every time he typed out a message his stomach would flip.

He tried swinging over to the office after work and would find himself just swinging past. At one point he even met eyes with Karen, staring out the window at him. Her brows were furrowed, a small frown on her face. He felt bad after that one, he knew he needed to talk to her now.

So he typed out an apology, and made arrangements to meet up to talk, and then he threw up and deleted the message.

Why was this so hard, he’s Spider-Man, he’s almost died day and day again, and yet he finds himself struggling to simply text a woman.

This had to be because he compared her to his aunt, that had to be the reason, why else would he be avoiding her. He always avoided his aunt when he felt bad for something, spending his time brooding in his room and writing out apology letters onto sticky notes, sliding them under her door as she slept at night.

He had confrontation problems, that had to be the reason, not because Karen reminded him of his aunt. She wasn’t his aunt.

So he typed out another message.

And deleted it again.

~~~~~~

Peter was working in the back, his favourite. He loved being able to fix things, playing music quietly and humming along as he went. He was putting a computer back together when his boss knocked on the door. He paused his music and looked up.

“I’ve got a lady out here looking for…” He trails off, leaning back out into the front of the store. He pokes his head back in, “Peler Parkel?”

MJ.

Peter shoots up out of his seat, knocking it over with how fast he stands. He grabs it before it hits the floor, propping it back up. He squeezes past his boss into the front, and MJ stands at the desk, a small smirk on her face.

“Hello, Peler.” Peter smiles timidly, approaching her. Butterflies come to life in his stomach.

“Hi. How’s the screen protector working?” He doesn’t say her name. He has tons of customers each day, it would be weird if he remembered her name. Would it? Should he say her name? “Michelle.” He adds onto the end.

Fuck that was stupid.

“Your boss tells me your name is Peter.” Peter nods, he feels his heart rate speed up at the sound of her saying his name. It sounds like a song, he wants her to say it again.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Why’d you tell me your name was Peler?”

“I didn’t. You read my name tag.” MJ smiles at him and nods. “Um, you said you’d come back if your screen protector didn’t work. Is it working?” Peter asks, remembering what she had said last time. Of course he remembered, he replayed the interaction in his head for hours after it happened.

“It works fine, yeah. Very good.” She emphasises it with a double thumbs up. Peter shoots back a double thumbs up as well.

Jesus, stop being stupid.

“Um, I’m looking for a cooler phone case, but I also want one that’s protective, not just cool, so I figured-” She drones on, Peter tunes her out as he see’s Karen fucking Page walk through the front door. She stares at him, determination clear on her face. Peter feels himself blush and he turns back to MJ, who stares at him confused.

“Phone case. Cool phone case, yeah I can help you with that.” He walks over to the far wall, pointing out various phone cases to her. He rambles about all the protective bullshit every time MJ picks up a case, putting off his conversation with Karen for as long as possible. He feels her eyes bore holes into the back of his head as he talks to MJ, and he avoids looking at her.

“I think I like this one.” MJ says, waving around a simple purple phone case. Peter nods and they move back towards the front. He cashes her out silently, eyes shooting between the computer and Karen, who leans against the counter staring at him.

“Alright, here is your cooler, protective phone case. Paired with the screen protector you bought last time your phone is practically invincible now.” Peter jokes, bagging it for her. MJ smiles, taking the bag.

“Thank you for your help, five stars for Peter.” Peter purses his lips to stop the goofy grin that threatens to split his face. He nods instead, taking a deep breath to help put a stoic look back on his face.

“Of course, enjoy your phone case… Michelle.” Peter adds as she walks away. She offers him a small smile and a wave and then leaves, the door chiming behind her.

“That was painful to watch.” Karen says, smiling. Peter rolls his eyes, emerging from the counter. Karen follows him as he makes his way towards the back room. He turns to her and points at the door.

“Employees only, give me a second.” Karen raises her eyebrow as he disappears into the back room.

“Hey, I’m going to take my lunch break, do you want anything?” Peter asks his boss. He wanted to be able to give Karen his undivided attention for as long as possible, so if that meant taking his lunch break then so be it. His boss leans away from the computer, looking up at him.

“Uh, yeah. You’re twenty one now, right?” Peter nods and his boss pulls a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket. “Go get me a pack of cigarettes and some gum from the corner store, wouldya?” Peter nods, pocketing the bill.

He emerges from the back room, Karen stands right in front of the door. “I took my lunch break, let's go.” Peter says, grabbing her and dragging her out of the store. They walk quietly for a little bit, but Peter can tell Karen is mulling over all of the questions and statements she has, deciding what to say first. Peter decides to speak first.

“How did you know where I worked?” He asks, turning towards Karen with a questioning look on his face. Karen shrugs, smiling.

“I’m an ex-reporter, I can dig up anything on anyone.” Peter nods, she had him there.

“Okay now you get to ask a question.” Peter says.

“Okay, why were you avoiding me?” Peter shoots her a glare, turning and walking into the corner store.

“That was a waste of a question, you know why I was avoiding you.” Peter says, grabbing a pack of gum and a protein bar.

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t realise we were playing twenty questions.” Karen says sarcastically. “How was that a waste of a question? I simply think you had more reasons than just this” She points up at her face where the cuts had started to heal and were simply thin scabs, “to be avoiding me.”

Peter puts the gum and protein bar on the counter, asking for a pack of cigarettes as well. This is his first time getting ID’d and Karen looks at him surprised as he pays for it.

“I didn’t realise that you smoked.” She says, her tone changing. Peter shakes his head.

“It’s for my boss, and I don’t have to have another reason for avoiding you.” He holds the door open for her and Karen walks out. He trails behind, tearing open the protein bar and taking a bite. It tastes like cardboard dipped in caramel. “I physically hurt you, sorry that I’m afraid of it happening again.” He says around a mouth full of protein bar.

“Peter, you’re not going to hurt me again.” Peter swallows. The protein bar is dry as shit.

“What if I do.” Karen sighs annoyed.

“Okay, enough, I have more to talk to you about and I’m not trying to waste your whole lunch arguing about this. I’m fine, my face is fine, I’m not scared of you. Next question.” She pauses, looking at Peter. “Your turn to ask a question.”

“Okay, so we are playing twenty questions.” Peter says, sitting down on a dirty bench outside of his work. He still had about twenty minutes left of his lunch break. Karen tucks her skirt and sits next to him, touching their knees together. Peter can feel the warmth from her skin through his work pants.

“Alright, um, why didn’t you take me into the hospital?” Karen looks at him, confused.

“Because you told me not to.”

“Why did you trust what I said?” Karen shrugs.

“I don’t know, I just trust you. You’re asking dumb questions, no more questions for you.” Peter laughs and rests his head against the back of the bench, pocketing the gross protein bar.

“Matt told me everything you told him the other night. Would you have eventually told me the same thing?” Peter nods.

“Yeah, I would have told you. I have another question.” Karen smiles and nods, indicating for him to ask.

“Why’d you keep my old business card from you guys?”

“I was curious. I wanted to know how you knew us, it’s the reporter in me, I need to know stuff.”

“Are you happy with what you’ve learned about me Ms. Reporter.” Karen nods.

“Okay next question, why do you try to push me and Matt away?”

“I already explained this to Matt.” Peter sighs, turning his head where it rests on the bench to look at Karen. She looks back at him, eyes meeting his.

“Okay, explain it to me now.” Peter groans, rubbing at his tired eyes.

“I just didn’t want you to get hurt… more hurt. That’s always how it is, you should know that.” Karen scoffs. Of course she knew. She’d been dealing with Matt avoiding her on and off for almost a decade.

“That’s always Matt’s reason too.” She agrees.

“I think,” Peter pauses for a second, sighing sadly. “I think it’s hard for people like us to get close with people, cause it always means one more person that could get hurt. After everyone sort of, forgot me, I didn’t make any friends, that way no one could get hurt because of me and no one would care if I got hurt.”

Karen reaches for Peter’s hand that rests in his lap. She grabs it and strokes her thumb over his hand gently. Peter’s hand twitches, an attempt to move away, but he doesn’t.

“So then that other guy, Deadpool, sort of started following me around. He creeped me out a bit, was a little bit obsessive, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. Eventually I caved in, figured it would be okay to have one friend, and then you and Matt ended up back in my life.”

Karen smiles at him.

“I’m glad we did.”

Peter nods.

“Part of me is glad as well, the human part. I missed talking to people, but the other part of me wishes you two would just fuck off.”

Karen laughs squeezing Peter’s hand.

“I’m not fucking off anytime soon, can’t make any promises for Matt though.”

“Don’t leave Matt either, alright? Even if he tries to push you away the way I did, try to be there for him. The vigilante life is a lonely one.”

Karen purses her lips, nodding.

The vigilante life is a lonely one.

“Do you forgive yourself now?” She asks. Peter nods. “M’kay good, cause I was going to take you clubbing or something for your birthday so we have to go and do that soon.” Peter laughs standing up. He pulls Karen up easily, smiling at her as she stands across from him.

“I have to go back to work but I’ll see you around.” This time he wasn’t lying, he meant it.

Karen nods, waving to him as he goes back into work.

She had to go see Matt.