End Of Beginning

Matt

Matt had stayed with Peter as he cleaned up the mess his injury had made. Matt could hear Spider-Man blocks away and could hear that he was injured. He was instantly confused when he suddenly heard the sound of Spider-Man’s heartbeat in his neighbours apartment.

He was slightly embarrassed by the fact that he hadn’t figured it out sooner, but finding out that Peter’s heart would beat differently with the mask on was an interesting discovery. He never listened to his own heartbeat, having learned how to tune it out decades ago with Sticks help, but he suddenly found himself wondering if it would beat differently as well.

While he cleaned Peter told him everything, about who the bad guy was, and why the other guy, Deadpool, had shot him. He had felt guilt stir in his stomach, sitting heavily on his chest and constricting his lungs when he heard what happened. He had told Peter he would help protect him. Peter insisted that he didn’t need protection. Despite this, Matt told him that when he wanted to go out at night to meet him on the rooftop, they would go out together.

He was actually shocked when Peter had shown up on the roof after him that same night, landing in a crouch that, had it been Matt who had gotten shot, would have him seething with pain.

“I heal fast, your stitches just helped me heal faster.” Was Peter’s explanation. Still, Matt made him take it easy that night, listening closely for the pop of stitches being torn.

Late in the night, possibly early morning, when Peter suggested they head back because they both had work in the morning, Matt laid awake in his bed. Usually when he slept he would tune out everything, pick one sound to focus on. Sometimes he found himself trying to listen to Karen’s heart, but found that she lived too far for him to hear it clearly. More recently he found he would focus on Peter’s. Despite how it made him feel at first, it had grown on him, like a bad song that he had come to tolerate.

Tonight however, he tried to listen to his own heart. He found it difficult, alluding it to the sensation of trying to tickle yourself. Logically he should be able to, but really he couldn’t. He curled into a ball, bringing his head closer to his chest, but was met with nothing. He could hear no thrums or beats that his body produced.

It wasn’t until a week later that he had gotten an idea. Karen and him were sitting in his living room, something he found them doing more of lately. She was dressed in a loose tank top, the strap of her bra hanging loosely around her shoulder where it slid down. Matt’s been itching to fix it for the past twenty minutes.

He has a rotating fan blowing beside Karen. It’s a nice quiet one, the blades chopping through the air almost silently. It shifts from right to left to right to left, recycling warm summer air through the living room. Every time it blows air in their direction his senses are assaulted with the sweet smell of Karen’s skin, and it hurts his teeth the way hard candies always did as a child.

“What does my heart beat sound like to you?” Karen looks over from the book she’s reading. Matt had pushed away his paperwork, instead choosing to rest his eyes.

“I don’t know, I can’t really hear it the way you can.” Matt shakes his head.

“I can’t hear my own heartbeat anymore.” Karen shuts her book, laying it gently on the coffee table next to her drink. The sweat running down the side of her water glass had dripped down and created a rim of water around it. Matt pushes her book over so it isn’t as close to the water, afraid of it getting wet. He jumps when he feels Karen’s hand on his chest. It stays there for a moment, rising with the beat of his heart. She bites her lip in concentration.

“I don’t know Matt, it feels normal. Why? Do you think you’re having heart problems or something? Has listening to Peter’s heart made you nervous about your own?” Matt chuckles and removes Karen’s hand from his chest.

“No I just…” He wasn’t sure how to say what he was thinking. He was wondering if his heart sounded different when he was in the suit, the way Peter’s was. He was probably the only person that would actually notice the difference though.

“I just wondered what it sounded like.” He lies instead. Karen nods and turns away, grabbing for her book again. Matt listens to her read, her fingers skims smoothly over the pages of the book helping her stay on track. Her sharp nails trace small groves into the paper.

“What colours are your nails?” Karen sighs out a small laugh, closing the book again. Matt notes that she never marks where she was reading when she closes the book, she seems to just be able to remember where she left off.

“You are full of questions today. They aren’t any colour right now, they were sort of cream coloured a few weeks ago. Why do you ask?” Matt shrugs, leaning back on the couch once again and opening Karen’s book for her.

“Just curious.” Karen smiles, pleased to be seeing a more cheerful and curious side of Matt again. The last time she had really seen Matt acting this way was before she was blipped.It was refreshing.

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Matt's fingers twitch in his lap for the umpteenth time that night, this time though his hand raises and drags along her upper arm, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He pushes up her bra strap that had slid down her arm, nestling it snugly on her shoulder. She hadn’t noticed it.

“Thank you.” He nods, letting his hand linger on her shoulder for a moment more before going back to his paperwork. A welcome distraction.

Both of their touches had been lingering more often lately.

“Pete came over to look at the printer the other day, he thinks there are some parts that he can grab from his work to help fix it.”

“So you guys are on nickname basis now?” Matt smirks. Karen shrugs, smiling shyly.

“It just slips out sometimes, anyways, I was talking to him while he was working on it and I found out that his birthday is in just over a week. We should try to plan something for him.” Matt nods.

“When is it?”

“August tenth. He’s turning twenty-one.”

“Legal drinking age.” Karen snorts.

“Of course that’s what you think about.” She pauses for a moment. “Do you think he got blipped?” Matt shrugs.

“I feel like that’s not really something you ask people. Do you ever tell people that you were blipped?” Karen shakes her head.

“Not really, unless I’m asked. It’s crazy to think that you’re 5 years older than Foggy and I now. How old are you? Forty?” Karen jokes. A shocked laugh erupts past Matt’s lips.

“Forty? Really? You know I’m 41.” The number leaves a sour taste in his mouth. 42 was fast approaching. He was getting older but felt like he had yet to accomplish much. Sure he had a somewhat successful law firm with two of his best friends but that was about it. He’d lived in the same city for his whole life, the same flat for almost ten years.

“Do you ever feel like you’re falling behind?”

“I am behind Matt, by five whole years. Whatever you’re thinking, I get it.” Matt nods. He wasn’t sure how he would ever be able to fully show her how much he appreciated her, and saying it was simply not enough.

Nothing he could ever do for her or say to her would ever be enough to show just how overwhelmingly large his feelings were when it came to Karen Page. Appreciation only skimmed the surface.

“I love you.” It rushes out of his mouth, never making it to his brain. He wasn’t sure where it came from. Karen is still, her heart beating fast. He wonders if his own was beating fast too. She swallows loudly.

“I love you too Matt. You’re my best friend.” Matt smiles, nodding. They were friends. Very, very good friends.

~~~~~~

Foggy thought otherwise. Half the time he was in Matt’s office he was asking about Karen.

“So, how's Karen?” He asks, leaning against his desk in a similar manner as Karen does. Matt shrugs, the way he usually does when Foggy asks about her.

“I don’t know, ask her yourself.” Matt replies, rifling through paperwork.

“Is she still trying to figure out what’s going on with your neighbour?” Matt shrugs.

“I think she’s kind of over it? They seem to be friends now, unless that's part of her interrogation tactic.” Foggy nods, and they delve into pleasant silence for a moment. Matt can hear Foggy’s heart speed up and he looks up. “What is it Foggy?”

“I, um, proposed to Marci last night.” Matt falters, the papers falling flat to his desk.

“Foggy, that's amazing!” Matt quickly stands up, pushing his chair out of the way and embracing his friend in a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you.” He was honestly surprised that Foggy hadn’t proposed when he had gotten back from being blipped, from what he had heard from Marci the few times they had gone out drinking, Foggy had a tendency to propose to her when things seemed to be detrimental.

“Yeah. She finally said yes, considering no one was dead or dying this time.” Matt laughs, finally letting go of Foggy. There’s a knock at his door as Karen enters his office.

“I really hate to break up this touching moment, but Foggy, you’ve got someone on the phone for you.” Foggy nods, patting Matt on the back as he leaves. Karen moves into the office and out of the doorway as Foggy leaves. “So, he told you?” Matt nods.

“Can’t believe he told you before me.” Karen moves over to his desk, standing in front of Matt. He was standing in the spot she was usually in when she leaned against his desk.

“I helped him pick out a ring, and judging by the million pictures that Marci has already sent me, I assume I did a pretty good job.”

“Is it big?” Karen laughs and nods her head enthusiastically.

“Do you even have to ask that? You know who Marci is.” Karen pauses for a second, mulling over what she’s going to say next. “I always knew Foggy would be the first to get married out of the three of us.”

“I always thought you’d be the first to get married.” Karen laughs, surprised at what Matt said.

“Really?” Matt nods. “I’ve dated, like, three people in my life.” Something stirs in Matt’s stomach at knowing he was one of those people. “Did you ever think you would get married?” Matt thinks for a moment before nodding.

“I’m Catholic, a nuclear family is kind of expected of me.”

“Not all parents are married in a nuclear family.” Karen reasons.

“Yeah but they’re still parents.” Matt didn’t mean to say that.

“You don’t want kids?” Matt shrugs.

“I’m a little too old to be having kids now.” He lies. Karen laughs at his halfhearted joke, shaking her head as she leaves. Matt knew plenty of people older than him that were choosing now to start a family, so teetering off the edge of thirty, he clearly wasn’t too old.

His night job was dangerous, he didn’t want to leave a child the same way his father had left him.

Orphaned.

Matt shakes his head, trying to remove the thought. He moves to plug his headphones in so that he can listen to some articles that he needed for a case but stops when his ears begin to ring from a large boom. The building shakes for a moment and screams erupt all around him. He refrains from covering his ears.

“Matt!” Karen shouts, and Matt jumps up from his seat, rushing into the main office where Karen’s desk was.

“What's wrong? Are you okay?” Karen nods.

“C’mere.” Matt shuffles over to her desk where she has her computer open on some video.

“Residents of surrounding buildings are being urged to vacate as police put up barricades.” A panicked news anchor’s voice rattles out of the small computer speaker.

“What’s going on Karen?”

“There’s a massive, green, robot looking guy fighting Spider-Man a couple blocks from here.” Matt runs back into his office, grabbing his cane.

“I have to go.” He rushes out, making his way towards the door to leave.

“Matt?” He pauses turning to Karen.

“Yeah?”

“Please be safe.”