Where is Jane?!
Y/N's POV “Hello?” I am startled by an echo of my voice in what seems to be my head. My eyes, I have to open my eyes, where am I? What the hell is happening? My eyelids begin to flutter and I am mentally coaching my body to do what I am asking for it to do. Just open my eyes, please. Why do I have no control? Beep……Beep, Beep, Beep… What is that? That shit is very annoying. “Please! Nurse! She’s moving. When I-I touched her hand.” What is that beautiful sound? My goodness who is that? Beep. BEEP BEEP BEEP! Ugh… there’s that dreadful sound again! Why won’t it stop? “Wake up my love.” Woah…everything is way brighter than I imagined. My eyelids finally work, maybe I can move something else but I can’t see. It’s so bright. “Y/N… can you hear me?” Oh Hi, there’s that pretty voice I heard a minute ago, why does it sound so scared? Please little voice, don't be scared…it’s not as scary as you think it is in here. Something jumps and I look to my right, I see my arm…I have a body. It’s so beautiful, wow. Is this what physical touch feels like? It's so beautiful, Jane only told me stories about it. When Zen first touched her, she was enamored by it, I never thought that I’d ever…what’s that word she said it was. E-ex...experiment? No, no…. Ex…damn it what is it called? EXPERIENCE, that’s right. I never thought that I would get to experience this. *blink blink* They work, my eyelids work. Okay…okay, focus. Focus. Fo- holy….”Hi…can you hear me, Sthandwa?” I can hear you…how do I show that? Oh I know! My eyes widen and I blink really hard, again and again… hoping she understands what I am trying to do. I CAN HEAR YOU! I am saying it with my eyes… Why is she looking at me like that? She is moving closer to my body. How do you work this thing? I can feel a slight pressure just above my eyes, and that's when I felt them, Jane calls them legs. How do I remember all of this? How do I know these feelings, I have never felt them before. She told me that I will just know….and I do. I know. “She can hear me! HAHA! She can hear me, LOOK!” Oh how exhilarating, that’s a smile…Jane told me all about those. She’s amazing! Moving freely, so fast and natural…it’s so..so … “Be-beautiful.” My lips move and it almost hurts, dryness and strain becomes a new memory in my library, I don’t like it. “W-what? Did you just say something?! DID YOU HEAR THAT?” Excitement, Jane told me about that too. She said it is the first development of our being called love? Excitement being the first stage, whatever that means. It is the only thing that we know of in “The Place.” Love. It is us, we are love. So, to see it in this form, I can’t even fathom how amazed and entranced I am. Look at her, what place did she come from? I must see it. Hand! HAND! I have those, I have two. Pick one up, or lift? That’s what it is. I wiggled my fingers in my face and smiled. I think this is starting to come together, sense. It is making sense, I am the sense that is being made. Ha…how ethereal. “Jane…” I say, I can feel the vibrations inside me when I talk, everything is so close to me here. “Where is Jane?” She said that she was here once and that she would be going back when she and Zen reunited. I thought I would enjoy the reunion…witnessing love in a visible form, but when they ascended into the descension…it felt so empty, there I was…floating, nothingness. A silence I couldn’t bear until I heard that dreadful sound. I sit up quickly. “FOR FUCK SAKE, TURN THAT OFF! STOP IT.” I look around to see so many eyes on me. The energy from them makes me more aware of my body and tears fall from my eyes. “THE BEEPING, THAT DREADFUL SOUND! PLEASE STOP IT!” They rush away from my voice, and the beauty reaches for my arms, saying something that I could barely understand. Her eyes were shiny and she had tears coming down her face. “Y/N, it’s okay.” What is that? Y/N? I don’t know what that is, no one ever told me that. I have to find Jane and ask her what that is. “Y/N…do you remember your name?” Name…name… name, I search through my library for what that is. Name…name.. Name. nothing! “Name…what is that?” Beauty’s face turns and twists, I think she is hurt. “You don’t know what a name is?” I shook my head, feeling something cool against my face, air…Oh Jane, where are you? I have to tell her about this. “It is something that you are called, it helps others identify you.” Identify? Is that what “Jane” means? It’s her name! OH…WOW! I’ve never been called anything before, I didn’t know that I had one. “Your name is Y/N.” Oh? Y/N….Y/N…that is me? Woah… I’m Y/N. Just like Jane is Jane. This is all so much. “...and my name is-” I could feel a pumping in my chest, it is getting faster, and I ignore the dreadful sound behind me, excitement! I FEEL IT! “BEAUTIFUL! THAT'S YOUR NAME.” I think I am understanding the names now. We identify other souls by what we see. I thought I understood until Beautiful smiles and twists her face again. “No…” I twist my face too, I don’t like this, I thought I was supposed to know these things. Understanding doesn’t feel safe. “My name is Shuri.” Shuri…who told her that? How is she so sure? “I want to call you beautiful, is that okay?” Shuri moves her head up and down, she moves so lovingly, like she loves her body. She’s so sure. “Yes, that is fine.” The sound that she makes to speak is so real, it makes me aware of everything. She can tell me where Jane is…I have to find her.