Parker Luck
Peter Parker was lucky.
At least, that’s what the social worker told him six months ago. Not just any kid ended up having Tony Stark and Pepper Potts as foster parents.
He had been told he was lucky before; lucky his parents didn’t bring him on the plane with them, lucky he wasn’t shot alongside his Uncle Ben despite being right next to him, lucky he was out of the apartment so he didn’t have to watch his Aunt May die of a heart attack. Lucky.
Peter Parker didn’t feel so lucky, however. Actually, there was a saying in his family- Parker Luck. The idea that if something can go wrong, it will. Parker Luck was just a fun way of saying Peter Parker’s life was full of pain and grief.
Peter was unlucky. Spider-Man, however…
That’s the thing about Peter Parker. He’s not just some nerdy kid who lost two sets of parents, he’s also the vigilante known as Spider-Man. Spider-Man took down criminals, avoiding hits and never failing. Spider-Man was brave; he was lucky. He was everything Peter wasn’t.
It is a little strange, seeing as they’re the same person. But when he puts on that mask, Peter becomes a hero. When he takes it off, he’s just another orphan in the system. At least he was, until six months ago.
——————
six months ago.
“I just- we weren’t… well. I must admit this is quite a shock. I never knew you were interested in fostering.” The social worker, Anna, stuttered.
“What it’s not on my Wikipedia page?” A different, albeit familiar, voice drawled.
Peter knew it was wrong to eavesdrop. But with these new powers, listening in on conversations was pretty easy. Maybe it was morally incorrect, but he was tired and couldn’t be bothered to shut off his hearing.
“No! I mean, I don’t know. What I’m trying to say is, you’re a pretty well known guy- you both are-“ Anna tried.
“Pretty well known?” Peter could almost hear the smirk.
“That’s enough, Tony. Sorry about him, he’s all excited. I understand what you mean, Anna. This is a new development, one we are very ready to pursue.” A new voice, a woman, said.
“Yes. And, it says here you are looking for a teenager specifically? I must say, that’s highly unusual.” Anna still sounded flustered.
There were two reasons this was strange. One, Anna is a tough woman. She could stare down anyone and not even blink.
Two, Anna was the most professional person Peter had ever met. She had the poker face of, well, a pro and she never faltered in her professionalism. Who exactly were these people?
“Teens are simpler. Practically self sufficient. Someone who we can’t fuck up if we’re bad at this whole parents thing. Or, me, specifically, mess a child up beyond repair. Pep would be fine.” The man- Tony? said.
“So what I’m hearing is, you’re looking for a trial run?” Anna said, in her eyebrow voice.
The eyebrow voice was known throughout the foster system. When a social worker used the eyebrow voice, their brow was raised to their hairline, and you needed to prepare to be judged or told off within an inch of your life.
“No no, of course not. Tony, I thought we agreed I would be doing the talking.” The woman, Pep, hissed.
Anna sighed loudly. “I do have a boy here, 15 years old, who may actually be able to benefit from a placement with you.”
“Really? Even Tony?” Pep drawled.
“Especially Tony. The boy is smart, too smart for his own good. He goes to a STEM school, top of all his classes too. He may be able to relate to Tony.” Anna said.
“Wow. That’s great news.” Pep said.
“There’s more. This particular boy, he’s shy. Extremely shy. I’m confident that a home with you, even if it’s temporary, will really bring him out of his shell. With the way this interview went, I normally wouldn’t give you a child, due to remarks that won’t be repeated. However, this isn’t an ordinary situation by any means, and in this case, that’s what makes it so perfect.” Anna stated.
“Well? When can we meet him? What’s his name?” Tony asked.
“You can meet his right now! His name is Peter Parker, and he’s right behind this door.”
Peter short circuited. These people- the same people who rattled Anna, are going to foster him? What.
Peter watched as the door handle twisted, and opened. Holding his breath, he pretended to read a discarded magazine left on the couch next to him, scrambling to pick it up with sweaty hands. He wanted to scream when the pages stuck together.
“Peter?” Anna said.
Without looking up, Peter hummed in response.
“I have a nice couple here who would like to foster you. Would you like to meet them?”
Peter narrowly avoided scoffing at her patronising tone. He shrugged his shoulders.
“Your magazine’s upside down, kid.” Tony remarked.
Lo and behold, it was. Peter got ready to level him with a look that said ‘maybe I prefer it this way’ but when he looked up, he was met with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts.
So, of course, instead of the scathing look he had been going for, he ended up with his mouth hanging comically open, and his eyes widening like saucers.
Screw Parker Luck.
Tony Stark smirked cockily at him, whilst Pepper Potts smiled warmly. Peter now wished he had asked Anna for lessons on her poker face, only so he could stop looking like an idiot. Where was his mask when he needed it, huh?
“I-uhhh…” He said, with intelligence.
“It’s nice to meet you, Peter.” Pepper Potts said, still smiling.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” He managed, breathlessly.
That sentence was all it took to school his expression into something less stupid. He smiled.
“Pack your things, Peter. Get ready to leave.” Anna told him.
“Wait. We’re taking him now?” Tony spluttered.
Taking him? Objectification much? Sure, Tony Stark, treat the poor orphan like a new phone, or something.
“You’ve passed all the checks. You said you had everything set up and ready. Is there some reason you’re unable to take him now?” Peter saw the Eyebrow in real time.
“No! Of course not. It’s just- wow- it’s all moving very fast. We’re more than happy to bring him home today.” Pepper Potts confirmed.
Great, now he’s a dog at an animal shelter. Hey Siri, how to get people to treat you as a real spider-human.
Anna tilted her head at him and he scrambled away to grab his things. It’s not like he had much; his whole life was packed into a singular bin bag. Also, his backpack, which right now, held the most important thing Peter owned. His suit.
He could hardly remember getting back to the room with the three adults in there, nor could he remember saying goodbye to Anna and getting in the car.
All he knew now, was that right outside the window, he could see Avengers Tower. Pepper Potts was right- it was all moving very fast.
——————
Present day.
The thing about Parker Luck, is that it strikes when he least suspects it. That’s what made it so unbearable, he supposed.
All Peter could think about, as Tony and Pepper welcomed Harley Keener to their home, was that if something can go wrong, it will.
——————
Six months ago.
Peter Parker didn’t know what to feel, as he was escorted into the private elevator inside Avengers Tower.
On the one hand, he had always wanted to come here and Ned was going to absolutely lose his mind when Peter told him he’d be living here.
On the other hand, May only died two weeks ago, and Peter can’t keep up with everything that’s happening.
He feels as though everything is passing in a haze. He knows he’s in Avengers Tower. He knows he’s supposed to live there with Tony Stark and Pepper Potts. He knows that he’s an orphan for the second time over. He knows being Spider-Man just got a lot harder.
He knows all this, somewhere, in the back of his mind. He can see the whirlwind of changes in his life, but it’s all blurry. Peter half expects to wake up from some kind of dream, into the land of the living where everything makes sense again.
But this is real. And none of it makes sense.
The three of them haven’t spoken since the couple herded him into their car. He’s watched, detached, as they whisper private words to each other, and keep glancing in his direction.
“You know where to go, FRIDAY.” Tony says, out of nowhere, as the elevator doors close.
“Of course, boss.”
Peter jumped, startled. Tony laughed.
“Oh, that’s FRIDAY. She’s my AI. She’s everywhere in the building, runs it all, basically. My pride and joy.” Tony wiped a fake tear off his face.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Peter Parker.” The robotic voice said.
“How does she know my name?” Peter asked, quietly. “Didn’t you guys just find out?”
“She’s in my watch, too. Heard our conversation with the lovely Anna. She’s always listening.” Tony held up his wrist to reveal a sleek gold and red watch.
… Always listening? Would Peter have no privacy here?
Pepper must have seen the look on his face- he’s really got to get a handle on that poker face thing.
“Don’t worry, Tony’s being an idiot. She won’t be actively listening or monitoring you in your room. She’ll be aware, in case of emergencies, and you’ll be able to call on her at any time. Your room is your space. We all understand the importance of privacy.” Pepper said.
Peter smiled at her, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief. The elevator ride came to a stop, and the doors opened to reveal a luxurious space, wide open modern floor plan that looked more expensive than anything Peter had ever seen.
“Welcome to the Penthouse, kid. Your room is down that hall, mine and Pep’s is the other way. Cmon, I’ll show you where to put your stuff.” Tony marched forwards, and Peter scrambled to follow him.
After Peter had dumped his bags in a room that was bigger than his entire apartment, Pepper announced they would be ordering food in.
“Did you eat yet? It is pretty late.” She asked him.
Was he given food at the orphanage? Heh. The place had been a bit of a free for all. If you could find food, it was yours. The kitchen was stocked up on Mondays, and if there was nothing left by the end of the week, you didn’t eat. Peter never really cared enough to try too hard.
“Not yet. But, it’s okay! I can just go to bed, it’s late, like you said, no need to worry, miss Potts.” He rushed out.
“Nonsense. You’ll come to learn pretty quickly how sporadically we eat and do basic necessities around here. I’m pretty shit at taking care of myself, so eating late is what we do. And you’re hungry, I’m hungry, Pep is hungry. So we eat. End conversation.” Tony said.
Peter slowly sat down on the couch, nodding at Tony. The other two sat down near him, giving him space.
“So, Peter, tell us about yourself.” Pepper day forward, eagerly.
“Um, well, I like science.” Peter said, dumbly.
“So do I! Common ground already. Pep, this is easy.” Tony smirked, as Pepper lightly smacked him on the head.
“Anything else, Peter?” Pepper encouraged him. “Oh! What kind of food do you like?”
“I like Thai food. Larb.”
“Wow, Anna wasn’t kidding when she said you were shy.” Tony drawled.
“Tony!” Pepper scolded.
Peter grew steadily frustrated. He wouldn’t lash out. He wouldn’t lash out. He wouldn’t-
“I mean, the kid can barely string together two sentences, Pep.”
“Give him time! It’s been, what, a couple minutes?”
“I’m Tony Stark! You’d think he’d be fawning with hero worship like all the other kids, just drooling over how I’m Iron Man-“
“Can you check your ego for two minutes, please? Do not mess this up for me.”
“For you? Excuse me for thinking we were in this together, Pep. This kid is our chance at seeing whether we’re capable of being parents, I’m well aware of that, but it’s just a little weird to me-“
“Tony, of course we’re in this together, but there’s a certain way you have to act around children and what you’re doing, is not it!”
“Excuse me for having a weird parenting method, it’s not like I had a very good role model for being a dad!”
“You’re the one that wanted to break the ‘cycle of shame’ Tony. Act like it.”
“I’m just, learning the terrain, getting my bearings. This is new for me too!”
Peter watched all of this happen with a sinking realisation. He remembered the conversation from before, how Tony had acted, what he had said.
He felt a sense of clarity and confidence, as he chuckled under his breath. Both of them snapped their heads towards him.
He effortlessly dove into his Spider-Man personality, smirking lazily and tilting his head slightly to the side.
“Don’t worry, this is a trial run for me too. I’ll let you know when you start ‘messing me up beyond repair’.” He drawled.
Tony and Pepper clammed up instantly.
“This isn’t… trial run? What?” Pepper stammered.
Tony studied him intently. “You heard.”
Peter inclined his head, still smiling. “I did.”
All of a sudden, Tony was laughing. Pepper looked at him shocked, while Peter continued to smile.
“You- you really fooled them all over there, didn’t you? Shy my shiny gold ass. You’re a smart mouth, huh, Pete?” Tony coughed out, cackling all the way.
“In all fairness, I became an orphan for the second time two weeks ago. Forgive me for momentarily forgetting my personality.” Peter deadpanned.
“Wait. You’re not upset?” Pepper asked.
Peter shrugged. “Nah. It’s better this way. We can all learn and grow together, like in a hallmark movie or something. Super cheesy stuff, I get little orphan Annie’s life, and you two can prepare for your future baby. Win win in my books.”
“I don’t even know what to say.” Pepper leaned into the sofa with a sigh.
“Hold up- reverse to your earlier statement. Orphaned twice? That’s a thing?” Tony asked.
“Yeah, well, my parents died when I was four, so my aunt and uncle took me in. A year ago, uncle Ben died, two weeks ago, May died. They raised me, so yeah, I consider myself a two time orphan.” Peter explained, trying not to let the feelings stir.
“That’s… that’s rough.” Tony said, awkwardly.
“Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” Peter replied.
“No wonder Anna thought this was a good home for you.” Pepper said, too quietly for a normal person to hear, but Peter did.
He wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but he wasn’t going to ask, so as to not tip them off to the fact that he had super hearing.
Tony clapped his hands together. “Enough of the mushy stuff. FRIDAY, order Thai food. Don’t forget the larb.” He winked at Peter.
Peter rolled his eyes. Maybe living here wouldn’t be so bad, after all.
He should’ve known not to tempt Parker Luck.