- IDENTIFY LOCATION: LISAN - DIMENSIONAL IDENTIFICATION CONFIMED : HVRA0616-9H-12
- --TWO GATEWATCHER TEMPLATE MESSAGES, HAVE BEEN REGISTERED SINCE LAST LOG ENTRY....
- ---...DESIGNATE GIN.1.05 ORIGINATION, CONFIRMED. DESIGNATE WARAU.1.20 ORIGINATION, CONFIRMED.
- ---INTER-UNIVERSAL DOORWAY ENTRY POINT H12 : OBSERVATIONAL STATUS - TVA INTERFERENCE : NOT DETECTED
- ----MIDGARD NORTHERN HEMISPHERE: USA, MISSOURI : VISITATION CAUTIONS ADVISED : SUBURBAN AREA DETECTED
- ------KNOWN DOMESTIC TIME VARIANCE : 1:04 PM US EST
=LISAN=
-(LOKI)-
-TWO DAYS AFTER HALLOWEEN: November 3rd, 2013-
Thankfully, Lisan --Loki-- had been outside and wearing his older, red-headed visage; when he heard a vehicle turn into their driveway.
Early afternoon, so; Lila and Cooper weren't home either.
Clint had gone in to help Laura with cleaning up after lunch, because it was his turn: Lili had dinner duty.. and well, that and getting on with the loft project: left him getting caught in the open by Fury's and the returning Natasha's attention on the way to climbing out of the very same sports utility vehicle Nick had been stalking Laura, the kids and yes Loki himself in, two nights prior.
" ..damn it. " was unheard from their distance; but likely picked up in the flavor of his demeanor as Fury almost leaned that growing narrow squint at his auburn personage from across the drive, and across the back of the chevy bed he had been collecting materials from and putting into the even more beat up wheel barrel.
He really had hoped Fury would not immediately aim his visual targeting in on him in particular before continuing to the main door along the porch; but even Loki could admit quick and easily that was a little much to ask given why Nick was likely there at all, and especially with that slightly angry set to his jaw, spine and brows: never you mind the terse edge to his slightly called out " Hi. " that carried that same feeling, along with the idea that yes.. he had probably grilled her, and Natasha had likely given him some idea of why he absolutely should have that expression on his face with those first steps towards the end of the truck.
" Good afternoon Director; I trust as the children aren't present this time, and you aren't hiding behind the tinted glass of your ..truck..?: that you shan't be giving any of us the feel of a potential kidnapper, today? " was said quick in greeting; and purposely in far more accepting tones.
There were many reasons for doing this; and approaching his aggression in that tone, with that genuinely standoffish welcoming demeanor.
His prior relationship with Clint and Laura. His part, in keeping those children safe from outside harm, to this very day. The fact that, as much as Loki wanted to deny it purely for the fact he had scared Laura, never mind working up his own dread and paranoia along the lines of being discovered too? Fury's reasoning for following them as he had on Halloween: did likely fall into that same intent: even if it hadn't felt that way at all, from their perspective.
But and ultimately the first of those reasons was that yes: Loki was still a little angry about having had that awful experience of being tailed by a then unknown creeper in that S.U.V. through the whole of taking the kids trick-or-treating: along with the nerve frazzling if successful attempts to keep the children from realizing it at the time too, for the fact they hadn't known it was Nick Fury scaring and creeping them out like that in the first place.
Apparently? " Seeing you again, I realize wish I had punched you properly in the face for scaring the both of us into thinking the children had been discovered by whatever terrorist or child selling slave trader is currently on your list before I pushed off the memory of your having been here at'all, off. " was a set of thought's Laura had brushed, but that Loki hadn't voiced as clearly even to himself, until it was out of his mouth right that moment in only slightly less welcoming tones; and well into the process of already wiping his hands of the thought along with the dust from the truck bed.
And well, points for him: it did manage to slow Fury's steps to a near stop, and drop more than half of whatever ass-hattery had been about to come forth out of his mouth.
Had he put a little venom behind that?
From the instant shift towards embarrassment and glance towards the opening front door that Natasha's features were finishing up when he glanced that way?
Probably yes: and likely in just the right flavor.
It likely didn't help them that it was Laura who opened the door.
Or especially that the only thing she did once she could clearly see who it was? Was let it and the screen door attached close behind her the rest of the way, and cross her arms with her lips pursed focusing on Nick, while Lisan reminded him: " This is not a fucking Shield compound. This is their family; our, family, you were stalking. So I'll say this now and you had better listen, Yank: if you or anyone else on your pay roll makes me feel like this family is under threat ever again? I will not be as kind, as to simply make you forget about it and send you on your way.. and I will not, be held responsible for anything that happens or anyone who gets hurt as a result of ignoring that warning. "
That second step of Nick's towards the end of the truck, did stop. And he did seem to be getting the idea that Lisan was dead serious about every single word of said warning.
Which, no; he didn't need or want a verbal confirmation for. So. Small smile; cloth down. " Good. " And wheel barrel back in hand as he noted Clint had opened the door itself and appeared behind his wife in the screen door to hear at least most of that with how clearly he had projected it with every intent for Laura to hear every word herself, too.
Fury was fishing for something to say; and by the turn of his mouth: something to defend it with as an addition. Loki, wasn't about to give him that space once he recognized it. " That out of the way: I do apologize for having done it, for the most part. And I do recognize you likely had good intent, given we hadn't planned for me to meet you until Thanksgiving a few weeks from now at the very earliest. " served also to remind Fury, if not inform him that no: they hadn't planned to keep Lisan's presence a secret from Nick forever. " However, I do find it annoying and even aggravating that I of all people have to remind the most visible of two directors of an international intelligence agency --a company of spies that dabbles heavily in sending others including Clint to do their dirtiest of work no less-- that the road to Hel sir, is paved with good intentions... and you bloody well should have seen much worse coming in that scenario had I not recognized you in the middle of, removing said memories. "
" Mind explaining where you picked up that skill? Or how it works? " was apparently where Nick found his tongue again.
" Why, yes! I do!~ " was all he said besides " How ever did you know? " when it went with a lash-batting and admittedly too-happy-to-be-anything-but-fake smile; as Lisan then started to finally wheel his wheel barrel of plaster, nails, drywall tape and other building-things goodies back towards the cracked open shed double doors.
No, he did not look back.
But he did know that at least one of their visitors had been inclined to follow; whether that was through aggravation with his manner or simply demanding an answer he certainly wasn't going to give further than he had the family he was now a part of. Mostly because Laura's sterner " Leave it as he's asking, Nick. " and the fading but likewise projected following sentence of " Being I'm the other person you were messing with, and knowing Lau much better than you do: I'm gonna tell you now that was him trying against his own feelings to drop it instead of letting you make any of us angrier than we already are at you right now. Me especially included. "
The rest after the half fading words " Don't even with that look! You have my phone number. You know how to text: I know you do. Every ounce of the bullshit from Halloween could have been avoided, by using your god damned thumbs! " as he got the door open; seemed to carry on in that same flavor if lacking the intent to put even a half-assed or strained smile on it from Laura's direction. Realizing he was fighting a smile in pushing the barrel into the shed and reaching to close the door; that was when he did look back...
And ended up shaking his head near a little laugh when what he saw was Nat scooting past Nick and into the house behind Clint for a quick escape from Laura's anger; where she had snagged and lifted one of the lapels to that beloved leather trench of Fury's and drag-guiding him in like some mothers did their children by the arm or ear.
For just a moment before the screen door closed; he caught eyes with Clint where he was holding the inner door for them; and instantly smiled and shrugged when Barton raised his eyebrows in a brief grimace only he was allowed to see with the others distracted by Laura's mad, as a clear signal he both wanted out from the middle of that mess: and was not looking forward to how long it might take to get away from it.. if he could or should.
Lili felt a little bad for having bowed out somewhat early.
But only a little.
For him; he had said the parts that most needed saying.
And this part; the part about to come up; where Laura and Clint and the kids all, had hidden what from their known perspective was a stranger to the rest and former agent out of the United Kingdom whom Barton had met and cosied up to some time whilst Loki had knowingly been still on the planet? That wasn't a part Lisan should insert himself into without better invitation, or desire to. It helped, that Laura and Clint both knew and understood this and his particular feelings on the matter, and vice versa too.
Loki could by all means take full responsibility for keeping himself from SHIELD's notice; yes. But Laura was right. And having phone numbers, and being able to use their thumbs to so much as even text: was a road that went all three ways, when you counted Clint in there too.
The Bartons were not wrong, when they had discussed this; and pointed out that, if they had felt even remotelytruly threatened in any way by Lisan? They would have done that at the very least. Or invited Nick over to meet him sooner, and do an even more thorough background check than laura herself had seen through on the side and later apologized for. Not that Lisan actually blamed her for that. In fact it was a whole slew of points in Laura's favor, in Loki's book: that she was smart and protective, and also respectfully discreet enough about doing it.. and adult enough to apologize not for having done it at all: but instead for her having not told him or Clint she was going to before she had.
Lisan hadn't and didn't mind, and was happier to get to know more of who she was as a mother and wife to the man he loved first among them, than he had been nervous.
In truth, there hadn't been much of that nervous bit either, though.
He had contacted Walsh well and a good few weeks before he had shown up on the Barton farm. Almost as soon as he had been sure that the Tesseract was safely and especially discreetly stowed out of Thanos' view off planet; and his thoughts had drifted more solidly towards heading back to Clint in particular, and how to do that.. without fully reviving the name Odin and Frigga had given him: and all the ghosts attached to it he needed to leave behind as intended when he had let go of Gungnir almost two years ago.
Walsh hadn't made anything up as a background. He hadn't the need, with Loki's previous visits and involvement with either the London Sanctum and the U.K.'s Secret Intelligence Service through both Walsh and his other comrades within it.. and, hm. Lisan liked the idea of sharing more of those missed visits with Barton, both the Barton adults, too. It had been a while; and some dates had been omitted due to having been almost a full century back in Earth's history books: but he had made certain Joshua hadn't omitted more than was prudent, or might make things more difficult than need be when and if anyone did get the idea to look at Lisans' back story.
It helped that he didn't hide his ability to change his appearance either even if he was burying where he had been raised and by who; and, that the few faces he used around town and the house were personas he had made his own just as long ago if not longer.
Laura had said, that after she knew and understood his skills and background: from there it had been as much in her hands and Clints, as to whether or not they told anyone: either SHIELD or newly formed Avengers.
As much as he wanted to sometimes, if only to keep any attempts at blame from them: neither Lisan, or his previous identity as Loki could have argued that with any actual honesty.
That had been, even from his end; a part of his hopes and gambles on Clint Barton, and Laura too, though he hadn't yet known her well, at the time.
He was happier here, and that much more protective of this place and his family in it: in part because of that gamble paying out. Laura was as amazing as Clint was, in Lisan's eyes. He really did love them; even more than he might have thought he could. Of course he was protective of this family. Of course he adored the little, grinning, too-smart two legged balls of sugar-loving chaos that were their kids.. and sometimes wondered, whether or not he himself might manage to help add to that number of small beings by one and even out the balance of their household numbers as it currently was between adults and kiddos.
All that said and brushed at as he worked at mixing and pouring teh first few panels of moulding plaster going into the molds they had finally finished last night, he was mostly expecting Clint to be the one to check in on or interrupt him first: if anyone was going to do it at all.
" So keepin' the current rule and admittin' we both done fucked up; " from Nick Fury was not the voice he was expecting to hear again from the stairs down to the first floor below his slowly growing loft, to say the least. At a slight glance back though; with Nick on his way up the stairs with a more relaxed or perhaps resigned pocketing of his hands, Lisan could easily and very quickly see Clint's very readable if half sheepish expression of 'please have cooled off enough for this' right behind him still on said brief stairs. As well as the fact Natasha was not far behind him down them, either.
Nick's extra pause as he took in the view of the loft space he could see and the almost lanky six foot plus auburn ginger Lisan currently was --and had come to prefer during his last unassociated visit, in truth-- felt a little less .. well. Into 'complete asshole' territory? Which Lili didn't entirely trust, given he knew Fury just well enough to know that he had to be making a decent effort to manage even that; and also that he himself could say the same of his own personality on a particularly bad day to say the least.. so he held his tongue long enough to see where he was going with that sentence and demeanor.
" ..Here, is where I offer to agree to leave Halloween as the screwy misunderstanding between us it is; along with my own apology for.. " a glance back at the shed doors? No. A glance through them to the side door they had likely come out from their ear chewing from, to even say as much. " -not using my thumbs like the lady says, at the least. "
" Could have gone both ways I suppose. " was an agreement and recollection of Laura's insistence that if they were going to hold off on telling Nick immediately, as they had; any backlash in being found out before they did tell him, did in fact belong to all of them. Not just, Lisan. It was a concession, a much more earnest reiteration of the sort that he had greeted Fury with an hour or two ago.
Still, it did surprise him a little that Fury gave him one back in the form of " Yeah, well. " in that tone, and the follow up of " Laura isn't wrong about the fact that turned around from you two's perspective, with the kids in and out of the car and me not even hinting I was in the state, never mind the car following you? You did handle it pretty damned well. Better than me endin' up in the cop shop explaining how I'm not a kid-snatcher. Or, dead in a ditch: given what Walsh was willing to share of your work history this morning. "
Oh, and he knew that leading in tone. Didn't even have to ask what it was about. He had called it's coming forth months ago.
Clint had agreed almost immediately when it had come up. Laura hadn't wanted to think that way, but had admitted it would be a possibility.
" No. " as firm and easy as it came out, seemed to put a brief stop on Nick's thought process.
Mostly because may be Fury hadn't yet fully realized Loki was stepping directly over that offer with his denial before it could make it out of his mouth; until he said it even more plainly as he went back to partially putting a lid on what little of the already mixed plaster he had prepared for the next pour, so he could put down the odder sized molds for the corner pieces. " No, to clarify and beat you to it: I will not, sign up with SHIELD at this time; now that I am 'between contract periods' as Joshua so hopefully terms it, with the S.A.S. and S.I.S.: with whom you have a lasting if odd, professional relationship history. And no, I am not very likely to change my mind any time in the near future. "
And bingo; as Clint likely wanted to say.
Even not looking directly at them while Clint redirected his aimed position to help Lisan secure the next mold and settle on the plain, new, and unfinished maple flooring of their renovation in progress? Lili could see that Fury had gotten that idea in his head, well before he had come in the shed door or up that short flight of steps to lean against the new half-wall of matching faux-stone and maple acting as railing and pseudo-privacy from the floor below and mostly behind him.
" You are not, a blind man.And I'm not dumb enough to think otherwise after readin' some of your file. " was the expected start of a call to the reasons why he should ignore that want to stay out of it. Of course that wasn't where it would stop, either. Lisan let him air it out, knowing his attempt was a necessity of Nick's personality and position both. " Which one you prefer I call you, though. Lugh? Brandon, maybe? Falconwrath seems to be a name you used a lot: though from the looks of it.. the name and appearance weren't as honest as the intent of what work you did while wearing 'em. "
" Lisan, will work just fine for you. " did betray some of his irritation with the fact he had managed to get a hold of one of the many other L-shaped names even remotely close to Loki. " You'll find, if you haven't already: that I don't like or allow many others from those who didn't know me when I was, wearing them. "
" Or, the appearances you were wearing, when you did use those names. "
" Exactly. " was not the kind of short agreement Fury wanted to have. And that was some of why Lisan gave it to him. Still. He did not want Fury to think he was an option as any kind of back up outside of his own choosing and direction. " To answer your underlying question; the one Walsh will not have answered for you either, in part because he knows what you don't in understanding it is still, a sore spot: I don't know, my actual name. " was a truth, if one he himself hadn't been aware of until what was twenty eleven, here. " Or, for that matter; whether or not I ever was given one by my blood relatives. "
It was however, the continuation in mention of the fact that " Nor, before you offer.. am I anywhere near certain I want to know if I was, or what it might have been. " was also a truth: regardless of the fact that Fury could not possibly guess at or care to try at obtaining any of that information, without knowing who he had been at the core even as little as a year ago.
" You sure about that? " got a scoffing sound that Lisan couldn't have helped even if he felt differently about it, and had known more than what had been put in SHIELD's reach through Walsh's position in the S.I.S. " Yes. "
" Any particular reason why? " Natasha this time. A bit of a surprise, that; at first. But then he knew more about her to get why fairly quickly, when he looked up and saw the skeptical expression that went with the question.
With Clint beside him, trying not to interfere in this much needed confrontation: Lisan chose the most honest answer he could manage at the moment: without risking too much, or endangering anything he deemed sacred between them. " Fury has been allowed to read at least enough of my background to guess at some of why. And as I understand it, Clint will have explained the largest reason to you himself: that I have no interest in maintaining the.. profession and position, mostly chosen for me by my foster family. I want, to have one of my own. "
" Or take in the first you come across and like, that's ready made..? " very nearly made Lisan angry immediately; except.. " Nat! What the hell?! " from his right came with Clint tossing one of the unused sponges at her before the accusation could even be reacted to properly, and managed a likewise immediate " ..sorry!Sorry.. that was; definitely, out of line. " that, Nat did seem to mean. At least from his perspective.
She was genuinely trying now; versus the snipey and unapologetic about it under and over-tones she had introduced herself with and upheld during Samhain.
" Yes well.. so long as you don't keep on with it; I don't mind you getting that invalid suspicion out in the air. " seemed to genuinely surprise the other two on the other side of the loft flooring, the same. Maybe more so fo rthe fact that Clint was instantly chuckling at their reaction to those words. " Oh come now.. Fury is right about one thing: I am not blind. Or, daft. Some of ... all that; " he waved a hand from the bucket rim before he picked it up from his turned seat on the flooring, to theirs to further imply their reactions were the subject " is expected, being the late comer to the family. Honestly, I'd be actually worried and suspicious if neither of you did question who I am or where I came from.. or use what you have at your disposal to try and ferret all of that out, either. Hence why Fury and Laura both were allowed far more access to my European files than most military and political persons of much higher official standing even, at my request. "
Apparently, that bit of information --his giving Walsh that go ahead on his request-- was enough to temporarily mollify them at last.
But not entirely silence Fury's other intent in going at it the way he had so far. " We could really use help like yours. " was a small plea disguised as a statement. And while true: that truth wasn't a necessity for them or the situations at large through SHIELD's eyes at the moment.
" I know you could. But you should know that I initially gave the same to Joshua, when he made a far more enticing offer; in order to strengthen my position outside the States, and my ability to seek out proper dual citizenship from that position. " was something of course, that he had already shared with Laura and Clint. " I believe Romanov has already been mildly informed of the fact that, the third and less controlling offer that Walsh has made along those lines has already been accepted. Verbally only, at the moment mind you.. but: accepted none the less. "
" So .. the leprechaun beat me to you. " got a snort from Clint. Lisan couldn't help the smirk, thinking; 'If only Fury knew.'
Joshua Walsh and his particular bloodline of extra-terrestrial immigrants; were a step or four closer to the Dracula legends, than they were one of the Fae, after all. " Rather in a similar way to your having beaten him to Clint and Romanov. The uncle holding his position prior, knew me before he did; " was true, if much further back than they would ever guess. Walsh's father and grandfather too, even further back in time. Centuries, not as simple as " Decades, ago; when I was younger. I do owe him ah, first dibs? May be more so for the fact he didn't push the terms of his initial offer, regardless of pressure from elsewhere in the British Isles and especially London, to do exactly that as they became aware I was still alive and around to even try. " made a point to imply, in this case.
" So they thought you were dead..? " with that raised brow from Nat did manage to pull a shrug from Lili's shoulders that Clint chuckled at before he finally poured the plaster into the mold Clint had been holding that much more steady.
" Yes and no. Between how my last task during 'The War on Iraq' ended, and the fact that I haven't the habit of making myself known after a contracted mission unless necessary for the most part, at this stage in our relationship... they really weren't sure either way until I made contact. " perked Fury's brows in an expected way.
And had him shifting his at ease against the railing half-wall asking the likewise expected question. " So.. you been missing for them since, what? Two thousand four? Or later than that..? "
" Not so much missing as, unconfirmed and unaccounted for other than the successful conclusion of the aforementioned contract. " was even if he had been purely an agent of the S.I.S.: the safest way to say he had done his job well, and in the favor of their intent putting him on it.. so they hadn't bothered to poke around and find out. Which was also true, though it also left out the fact that the few who knew where he usually went whether it was by his own choice or through otherworldly interference --back to Asgard-- didn't have many options to contact him there. Or, have enough gall and stupidity to try and pry him out from between Odin's death grip and alert the Asgardian crown to the few visits they didn't catch and retrieve him from making, either.
Fury took what he was given, well enough. And didn't seem intent on questioning Lisan about them further, at least.
Though Lili would be surprised, if SHIELD's most forward acting Director didn't press Walsh a little, for elaborations he was definitely not going to get in full.
Walsh and London understood the precarious nature of not only Loki's very aged relationship with them: but also of how that relationship with Loki would affect their currently even more fragile relationship with SHIELD and the United States in which SHIELD was mostly based, less than a year after New York: should his previous identity become known.
It was a whole other political can of worms and mess of a fight centered around Loki himself, that the few among the knowing in the United Kingdom absolutely did not want to just plop out into the middle of that: or the aftermath of it, either. There were stories there of course, and yes: back up plans for what thankfully hadn't happened in New York, too: that didn't need to be touched until the dust had truly settled. Or, he finally broke the facts of who he had been, out to Clint and Laura first and at the very least.
Clint knew that much already --that he had more to share about why he had shown up in their lives when he had, anyway-- and so did Laura. Been there, had that conversation; and yes Lili was very much aware that it would very much apply and need to be addressed later on.
But. Now, was not later.
And he himself, wasn't any more ready to say any of that; than he thought they were ready to hear it.
It was still too soon.
No matter how much some part of him wanted to show his future husband and wife the idea at least of the life and personage he was trying to put in it's thousand-year-plus waiting grave.
And thinking about that, did make him realize how long and strange the silence had gotten: while he and Clint finished up the pour and started to set the new mold aside. he couldn't help but call it out for what it was. " Incredibly awkward, this; isn't it. " and somehow managing a chuckle from Natasha this time in saying as much.
Finally: the ice felt good and broken.
Or at least, chipped at and slowed enough to not feel as though it were coming down at him and his new family at something close to fifty kilometers an hour.
" It has to be near three by now..? " was aimed more at Clint as he started up, with the intent of escaping again: if only briefly and in the direction of the kitchen.
" Close enough. "
" Mm. And I've yet to start that roast rubbed down for supper. " was explained mostly to that look of recognition towards said intent, from Fury's prop against the rail wall. " We take turns, at making the meals; and dishes. The kids'll be home soon enough as well. We won't have as much in the realm of left overs as initially planned should you take me up on it but; if you want to join us.. I know Cooper at the very least would be fairly happy to see you here, Fury. "
The slightest bit of hesitation and consideration in the opposite direction; before Nick asked " ...what kind a roast? " on his way to following them in the first motions heading for the stair leading down again next to his elbow.
" Ah. Beef? " seemed to get a positive sound of positive approval in the "Hmm.." out of Romanov, at least. " Pot roast. I'd plans to rub it down with the seasoning and let it soak in a little before putting it in the oven with the root vegetables first. "
" You should take them up on the offer, Nick! " in that half tossed back, sing song tone from Clint made him laugh a little. " Our blueberry's proved himself pretty good in the kitchen so far. "
" Speaking, of which -- " on the way to the shed door had to be interrupted. He knew what Fury was going to ask.
" You'll see where that reference comes from soon enough, I assure you. " was something he wasn't going to cut back on just because they were there. Natasha had already seen him with almost every illusion pushed back. Stars knew, the Bartons certainly had. Granted: he did tweak his base appearance to more match his red-headed visage than the one he had once been and in some ways still was most known for.. but yes, they knew the Jotun form Clint had first accidentally discovered after his re-arrival via the Tesseract. He had walked onto the property here, with that same blue face, too ... and allowed it to seep through a good deal more since then; after all. " You'll find that I generally only bother with this kind of habitual look when I'm not behind closed doors. "
" Can I ask if ah... " was a far more careful tone than he expected from Natasha in particular, and it probably showed. Not that she didn't seem to understand exactly why; when she met his eyes on the way out. " ..If you know where you're from, since you don't know your name? "
" I do. " was an easy enough thing to say. And something even Clint still paid especial attention to, even knowing how much he didn't really like talking about any of it still. " Though that and the name of my father is all I really know about any of them. My Fosters didn't want me to know even that much: though I can't help but scoff at that even more now that I've had time to process it and all the questions my heritage as an entirely different species should and probably will bring up later on. Especially now. "
" Why say no, then; if you can say especially now, and admit you think it should? " was an innocent enough a question, for the most part.
To the point, was the best way he could tackle it. And he did have to stop his feet on that first step across the drive way, just to keep his composure when he did put it to actual word. " You.. haven't the full picture to understand why that question would and does still upset me. Which is I will also admit: the only other reason I am going to answer you. Walsh knows. In earnesty he knew even before I did; even if he hadn't known the extent to which his then on again off again rarely expressed views on my Foster family were accurate. " Walsh had, been incredibly kind, almost gentlemanly really; about voicing his opinions and suspicions as to both how Asgard treated Midgard, and how Loki had expressed that to him.
Looking back; maybe it was a combination of his alien bloodline settling in Ireland and Scotland in particular and experiencing similar things as a part of that history between the two other small nations and Britain: and having that unique view that only an outsider could have. There were regrets, not having paid closer attention to those words; now. Quite a few of them: and more than a few potential and more preferred alternate realities his own universe hadn't become: as a result of having passed over them in favor of trusting what he had thought of as the bonds between himself, and Odin, and Frigga, and Thor, too.
He was getting distracted thinking about it again now though. Enough that the pause between that middle and the end of his intended answer was a little longer than he had meant it to be, to give them that moment to digest before he finished the answer off. " Ultimately, it is because.. even recognizing those things, Natasha: doesn't make what I am, and how I had been intentionally raised to hate my own kind and blood, by a pretend family who lied about their affection towards me as one of that species; whom they despised enough, to do exactly that?Any less hurtful to me: even today. "
He didn't need to say it: the fact that, among everyone else there in hearing range?
Natasha Romanov, formerly of the Red Room; and currently an agent of SHIELD as a result of it and Clint's part in getting her out of it: would definitely be able to immediately understand that truth, in particular.
And, point Lisan: he could see, through the flavor of her answering silence; and the expression she had on her face while in it: that she appreciated he hadn't brushed further at her own trauma along similar lines, though Clint had long since explained as much in explaining how she had become close to the Bartons, alone.
Like the others, it was a small piece, a tiny step of progress in making their futures and lives that much easier.
But it was still some progress: and it still felt like a good flavor to have it in, for now.
It helped that Fury seemed to truly take that information under consideration, too. Or at least he seemed to.
" In any case and that part aside: no I am not human. No I don't have general contact, with my home planet or peoples.. " was said far more plainly towards an up-beat leading away from the downer of a direction it had ended up going, on his quicker steps and half-hop pup the first of the actual little stairs to the porch and side door; which he took hold of next. " ..there's nothing remotely close to a relationship between me and that place or anyone on it, that I've the desire to make anything of at this point in time-- "
" But you might, or think you should. " was very near, but not quite an accusatory tone from Nick Fury.
And was answered, by his fiancee: with the very real truth they might have to face, should they decide to pursue it as a trio. " He's marrying us, Nick. And doesn't know anything about his species that's gonna be part of that life. " started the smallest of realizations: and a reminder as to why, what he had said, was very much a truth Lisan couldn't help but not like looking at pursuing. Even if it absolutely was something he would have to do, if he was going to have any future at all: with the family he had claimed as his own or not.
Barton finished spelling it out a little better just as honestly, the same: " We don't know for sure if .. he can add a kid of his own to our happy mix; if you gotta know. His people.. dosn't live in a climate even remotely as warm as ours: their physiology is pretty different as a result. We don't know what kind of other illnesses to expect for any kids we might have from this either, as a result. Or if said kid or kids might have needs outside of what he was never allowed or taught, or that might be in his actual blood family's actual medical history, either. " did stamp a very clear 'oh' expression on both Romanov's and Fury's faces.
In a flavor including the pity that was very uncomfortable for Lisan still, to say the least.
" This, is where I repeat my previous iterations, of dealing with that; " and urging his future husband in the door and into having his hand taken by his also future wife to finish the lifter of a tone off with " when and if, it becomes truly relevant; hm? " and topping it off as he bowed a little to attempt to usher their visitors in with " I'd say, that if only for now: we've our hands plenty full with Cooper and little Lies: hm? There's time aplenty to get after that awful mess when said time comes and is agreed upon by all involved. " and pulling the doors closed behind him, once they were all inside.
:]LAURA[:
-=6:12 PM US CST=-
Dinner, and the time spent leading up to it: had gone a lot better than she had expected, given the barely calmed mood Nick had been sporting when he, Nat and Clint had left the kitchen with the promise of patching things up at least a little with Lau.
Honestly, Laura had known well enough that said promise had mostly only been given to get away from her own anger and admonishments not only for Nick's end of what had happened on Halloween, but also for how Fury and Nat had immediately come at him once they'd noticed him outside first, and immediately tried to start in on him.
Laura had seen them get out of the truck from across the Living room, and the kitchen counter; and, knowing all three of them at this point: she also had known very well exactly what mood they were in and what was going on out there, well before she had jolted around that counter away from putting the leftovers away with Clint, and across the living room to open the door. In that brief space though, with her eyes on all three as much as they could be: it was hard not to realize next that.. while Lili was answering them with more anger than he had even expressed to her or Clint for Fury's spookfest of an impromptu tailing operation?
He had done so in a far more graceful way than she could admit even she had expected; even though she had experienced that, and how insanely sensitive and thoughtful of others' reactions and emotions he actually was, for herself.
Like Nick probably had; Laura had expected someone far more visibly jaded than how Lisan was, with everyone. even when he was angry; he was polite, genteel, and respectful of and insanely patient with at least some basic measure of people's perspective, and their deserved dignity in it. Even when that perspective was wrong, or at the very least a wrongful misinterpretation; even when, it directly related to him. It was hard not to quickly love those part of Lili especially; and, especially on days like today: that absolutely should have been a lot more aggravating and stressful than even those small patches of it, had already been.
If she understood him less today; she would say that, somehow; he had turned that around.
But the simple fact was, that she saw those parts of him and the large pain he tucked behind his stiffer smiles far too well, to use the word 'somehow' at all in that sentence: even just in her head.
It had taken Laura a while, to understand that; regardless of anything else he might be omitting, whether that was permanent or just until he felt the time was right: the reason Lisan gave for approaching their family and being there at all was a very earnest, very honest one.
He genuinely wanted to be a part of their lives.
Clints. Hers. The kids.
And he was willing to start facing whatever awful feelings of degradation, loss and betrayal he had waiting for him a lot sooner than he wanted to; just and only so he could claim that place and what ever future they might want ahead of them.
Laura Barton now, very much understood why Clint had actually argued with her about letting him stay when he had shown up at their door and explained who and what he was seemingly out of the blue: followed by the sketchy period of time in which he had met Clint, and just why her husband's memories of him were more like fuzzy dreams, than what they were.
None of them had told Nat or Fury that last part yet, of course.
And at the moment, there were no plans to.
For Clint and Laura both: it wasn't relevent any more that the reason why Lili just bouncing Nick's memory out of his brain hadn't been as much of a surprise to them was because he had done it to Clint himself, while Loki had him under the Sceptre's influence still. He had felt guilty about it; and missed him. Missed ... this: the very idea of what they might be if he found them after Clint was in a better mental condition. Apologetic, wasn't enough to describe the vibe she had felt when ever the subject had been brought up, after.
And for Laura, and Clint too in the flavor Lisan had given it: that was more than enough to have tried and mostly succeeded at eventually leaving it behind.
She loved him more for the far more peaceful near quiet state the house and both it's occupants and usual guests were in, as a result of his unique personality and patient determination to simply, love them. He was still secretive, in a lot of things: but he didn't hide the fact that he was, or that things might get tough because of it either: and as she looked over to where Nat had fallen asleep stuffed with roast beef and Cooper tucked under one arm leaned against the other end of the couch to the sound of a re-run episode of one of the sci-fi shows Lili had shown strange interest in since he had landed in their lives? As she turned her head a little more, to catch the edges of Nick's other shoulder where he and Clint were finishing up those dishes on some chuckling tease?
And then looking back to him where he was lazily pumping the porch swing back and forth in their view, continuing to read the Hobbit to a Lila half curled in his lap under the fuzzy blanket he had taken with them to further hold off the autumn chill and happily hugging her arms around Lili's waist: Laura definitely could say, that especially in this house, and this family? Lisan was farfrom being alone in having ugly secrets and questionable doings clandestine and otherwise, in his background.
At the end of it all, Laura didn't think she should or had the right, and didn't want to pick on and judge him, just for arriving last into their lives among the many people here --herself included-- who had exactly that kind of sordid history. And her head couldn't help but ask herself: if she ever did.. shouldn't she do the same for them? And herself, too?
Laura had a conscience after all.
And that conscience, couldn't give no as an answer to that question.
Someone at some point, if not several someones: had decided to allow each of them the chance to have what good the rest of them there did have, in their lives too, after all.
It hadn't been fair of her at their start, and wasn't fair or just, at all: to say and take the stance that no one else should have, or be given that opportunity too.. just because, they came around and into their lives afterwards or they didn't know their exact situation well enough, et cetera.
Being who she was and wanted to be even just as her children's mother, having worked for and alongside who she had, and married to whom she was; and, yes: even silent in suspecting Lisan might be a certain some one far more disliked and less deserving in the others' eyes even than he implied, with and without his omissions?
There wasn't a way for her to deny him that she could live with, or deny what she felt along the way of getting here: recognizing who that person was besides whatever names Lisan chose to be called.
She didn't doubt he was right, both then and now when he said; that this wasn't always going to be easy, or comfortable in claiming this life they wanted.
Laura didn't doubt for a moment; feeling the motion of Nick in particular, and knowing how he would see what ability Lau had; and the temptation to scoop him up into SHIELD, too: probably would add pressure and make things difficult in other ways later on, either.
And, even knowing that: and knowing the weight of whatever else he hadn't told them yet.. there he was. When it would definitely have been and still would be so much easier to just, walk away towards something easier. Something and some one who that wouldn't put him through all this pressure and questioning and downright suspicion whether it was well founded or not: just to be with them.
It was beyond a nice feeling, finding yourself valued that much. Above their own comfort, above their own individual concerns.
And she knew very well, that even if she had been rather than not: Clint hadn't come up as the kind of man to turn away from that brand of almost strange and very beautiful affection especially without giving that person even just a small chance. No matter who they were, or turned out to be. Natasha alone was living and breathing proof --okay, almost snoring at that very moment, but the gist was still there-- of that.
Her husband could be a downright sassy asshole; and they both knew it. Laura even loved it, in some of the flavors and directions Clint tended to point that particular personality trait. But Clint wasn't quite that much of an asshole, that he'd offer a hand up to one person in a shitty situation under a just as crappy lens; and deny it someone else whose intentions to get out of a similar set in their life was as earnest. And Lili, definitely was that. Even if they didn't have the full picture, that part was very clear to them both.
To say he had grown on them both, and on the kids; was admittedly not just a truth: it was an understatement of massive proportions.
" ..what you thinkin' bout, starin' at my man? " managed to snap Laura out of her contented little inner monologue, in favor of a much clearer smile for the voice of the husband who had snuck up behind the couch to half whisper it against her ear: in a successful attempt at getting her to laugh. " ..huh, lady? "
Because " Oh... just yours, huh? " in that same lowered tone only quiet enough to try and not wake Cooper's unconscious-from-food state, was of course Hawkeye's aimed-for response: along with the briefly questioning tilt of Lisan's currently and again again auburn head catching the interaction from his place on the porch with their current youngest still half in his lap. " I seem to recall some sort of agreement, we made: way back when..? "
Of course Clint was playing the smiling dumb, to her return tease: and she couldn't feel Nick's presence any more. Bathroom maybe. " Which agreement, and how far back was this? "
" I think, we and others who have done similar: called them.. marriage vows. " was something she couldn't help but smile at well before Clint was wrapping his arms around her shoulders and laughing at how the playful exchange was progressing. " Correct me if I'm wrong dear husband, but. Pretty sure there was something about, you know: sharing everything, from that day forward. You know; that whole.. joys and sorrows part? "
Turning her smile more solidly to Lisan while in that embrace; " Oh, yeah.. that. " feeling the rise of her soon to be shared husband's cheek against hers, telling her Clint's smile was just as present too: it made her that much happier in the moment, watching it help Lisan's version of it to slowly spread across his features. The red headed look, was just one of a handful that Laura, Clint, and the kids had gotten used to him wearing to feel more comfortable outside. It wasn't his own skin, and she still felt terrible if she let herself think too hard or long about how he didn't feel at all comfortable in his natural look outside of their immediate family: but it was enough for her and them, knowing that.
She wanted better for him, hoping he might be ready for more than a slip up outside of church, or a tongue and cheek no-actual-costume sort of costume, for Halloween.
Clint did, too.
But it wasn't hard to admit either, that as much as they had come to care so much about him; they were probably both just as greedy as they were grateful for the compliment in that comfort only being a thing in their presence.
" This is where you belong. " was purposely enunciated more visually at him than it came out sounding: purely so there was no doubt that Lisan understood it.
The smile Laura was rewarded with, and the smile she felt against her neck that was instantly tucked against her skin as a near-kiss in Clint's likewise responding little squeeze from behind: was almost everything she needed in that moment. It didn't leave room for doubt, or wondering whether they could always keep things exactly as they were. And she had no intention of or interest in, trying to suss out whether or not even that might one day change; either.
The idea of it was there in the sound of Nick flushing the toilet, and Nat's soft almost snores a few feet down the couch, yes.
They had time to manage whatever those things, and whatever thoughts set off the occasional odd little downturns of Lisan's mood, too.
Together, was the best way to get there and hopefully past whatever was hiding out ahead of them that Laura wanted to cling to; and doubted she would easily let go of, now that he was there...