Archie - Wade's POV
“Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen,” Wade sang as he swung his grappling hook. It was only a two-story building. He wanted to be on the 2nd floor though and wanted to make the job a little bit more fun than it needed to be. Sneaky, sneaky. He pulled on the rope to make sure it was secure and planted his boots on the wall.
“Pour myself a cup of ambition and yawn and stretch and try to come to life.”
He peered in the window. His target was sleeping at his desk. A bit of drool ran down his chin. Wade mimed shooting him through the window.
“Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin’,” He pushed off the wall and swung away from the building. He started to build momentum. Planting his feet on opposite sides of the window and pushing off. Then he let himself crash through.
“Out on the street, the traffic starts jumpin’, with folks like me working 9 to 5!!”
His mark jerked away, sliding almost out of his chair from the force of it. His eyes popped and looking around wildly for what woke him.
“What?” He asked stupidly.
Wade got to his feet, dusting some of the glass off of himself, and pulled a gold card from his pocket. “Archie Reid? Is that you?”
Archie nodded. He was straightening his tie. Cute. Wade rolled his shoulders and pulled out his gun.
“Sorry, Archie. Someone paid me to kill you.”
He honestly was tired of hearing the begging. People usually said the same dumb shit. He cocked his gun but Archie surprised him.
“Can I place a balloon order first?”
Wade cocked his head to the side. “Balloons? What is this a party or something?” Archie cleared his throat.
“No. It’s my daughter’s birthday tomorrow. It’s the only thing I can think of that I can order before you kill me.”
“You’re not going to beg for your life? Text a vigilante or a cop?”
“No, sir.”
Wade thought about it for a moment and shrugged. “Sure.”
It wasn’t like Wade was in a hurry. The man was dead anyway you sliced it. After a few moments of furious typing, Archie held the phone in his hand and stared at it. “Okay,” he said softly, “I”m rea-”
Wade shot him quickly and cleanly. He suddenly didn’t feel cheerful about this job. This Archie guy sucked all the fun out of murdering him. He walked closer and looked down at him. His phone was sitting upright in a pool of Archie’s blood. Whether or not he ordered balloons, Wade didn’t know and didn’t care. But there was a photo pulled up of Archie and a little girl.
Wade crushed it under his boot and stomped out of the room. He would take the stairs. Leave like a normal person. He felt suddenly irritated. His skin crawling like he had ants all over. His phone started to ring.
“You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey”
He pulled his phone out.
“Hey Ellie-belly,” he answered. His pace picked up. “You’re with Spider-man? Stay with him. I’ll be there in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”
He could hear gunfire in the background, the wind muffling her voice. The spider must have them in the air. He was angry. He was so very, very, angry.
It was clear to him now, hindsight is a bitch, that he took a job out of town so his employer could get his daughter. Heads would roll. People would die slowly. He would get creative with it. It would be apocalyptic. Hearing his little girl's voice on the phone, explaining people had kidnapped her, and had tried to kill her tore his heart apart. It was only fair that he tore out the hearts of those responsible.
He didn’t feel better about Spider-man being there to save her. Oh no. That guy was good for animal baddies. Rhinos, that other bug guy, the one with the many arms, not real bad guys. Not trained militia. His only hope was that the little bug would buy him enough time to get there. The great thing about being immortal is that he could go 250mph and not worry his pretty little head about it.
He was making epic time back to the city. His bike was the fastest, he loved her so much. Custom red and black with his emblem on it. People knew it was his and fucked right off.
He merged off a ramp, weaving in between traffic. All these non-driving motherfuckers. They probably didn’t care that Queens was turning into a war zone or that his daughter was in the middle of it. He was considering pulling out his gun when his phone started ringing.
Ellie was calling again.
“Hey Pumpkin,” he greeted. “Are you safe?”
The video chat pulled up on his little screen. She was eating cake. He grinned.
“I’m fine, dad. But there was an explosion. A really big one.” He looked around and could see a large plum of dark smoke.
“But you weren’t involved?”
“No. I think Spider-man was though.”
His stomach twisted a bit. He wasn’t normally the saving people type but Spidey had saved his girl. The least he could do would be to pull his body from the devastation. He sighed. Not the way he wanted to spend the night.
“Dad.”
“Yes, Ellie-belly.”
“You should go save him,” she said pointedly.
“I should make sure those bad guys don’t come poking around for you again. THEN I can go save him.” If there’s anything left to save, he thought. Spider-man was a tiny guy, it’d be hard to survive a building falling on him.
“Dad.”
“Ellie.”
“Are you wearing your helmet?” she asked suddenly. He grinned.
“Of course, I’m wearing my helmet. How irresponsible do you think I am?” He was not wearing a helmet.
“Go save Spider-man.”
“All right, Ellie. For you.”
He hung up. He was dodging through traffic. People were getting so pissed. He used the spaces between the cars to keep going and when he got to a red light he just gassed up and went faster. He squeezed right between oncoming traffic. Someone tried throwing a slushie at him and missed, hitting the car next to them instead. He laughed gleefully.
The adrenaline from high speeds was amazing. Sometimes he had to remind himself to breathe as he was lane-splitting. His heart was crammed in his throat. When he got within a mile of the destruction he started finding webbed-up guys. He stopped and parked his bike. There weren’t any civilians milling about. With this type of destruction, most New Yorkers knew to get the fuck away. He pulled out his gun and tapped one of the webbed-up guys in the head with it.
“I’ll ask once. Who do you work for?”
“Fuck y-”
He shot him and moved on to the next guy. This one tried backpeddling away from him, but he fell back and started wiggling away. Wade snorted. Desperate people were ridiculous. He kicked him so he rolled onto his back, placed his boot on the guy’s chest, and pressed down.
“I’ll ask you once, who do you work for?”
No one wanted to answer him. Wade left a trail of dead, webbed-up people until he got to the collapsed building. Someone bombed the place. He wasn’t sure how he would find Spider-Man. Did you call for a vigilante like a cat?
“Here, Spider-man, Spider-man, Spider-man?” He yelled out. No response. He started to climb on top of the rubble. No rescue teams yet. Just dirt and smoke and who knows what the fuck else is in the air. His throat did not like it. 0/10 stars.
He decided to sing as he poked around.