Chapter 2
As Anetra slid a drink over to Marcia, she noticed a faint shake in the other girl’s hand. It wasn’t very noticeable, nothing more than a small tremble really, but Anetra noticed nonetheless. In her mind she remembered the anxiety in Marcia’s eyes as her boyfriend pulled her away earlier and wondered if that was the reason for the shaking. She contemplates asking Marcia about it but decides against it and just gives her a small smile as she lifts up her drink.
“Well miss Marcia, I would like to propose a toast.” Anetra said, putting on an exaggerated voice, “to your incredible talent for turning on a flashlight” Anetra was able to earn a small laugh from Marcia as they clinked their glasses and sipped their drinks.
Marcia decided to speak first once they had finished their mock toast.
“So, how long have you been racing?”
“As long as I’ve been able to really. Once I got my first car I was kind of obsessed”
“Well it shows. You’re really good”
Anetra let out a soft laugh and felt her face redden a little at the compliment.
A gentle silence fell between the two as Anetra subconsciously moved her hand closer to Marcia’s. Before she was able to get too close Marcia abruptly stood up, a familiar anxiety visible in her eyes.
“I have to go, my boyfriend’s back. Thank you for the drink, Anetra.” Marcia sped through her words, gathering herself and moving quickly to leave.
“Hey, take this. Maybe I can take you for a drive sometime?” Anetra grabbed a small piece of paper out of her pocket and placed it in the hand of the other girl who hurriedly hid it in her blouse with a small smile.
Anetra watched as Marcia walked towards her boyfriend with the posture of a model afraid to make a mistake. It was unnatural. She knew it was none of her business but was nonetheless a little worried for the other girl. The change in her demeanor was so immediate it seemed practiced, perfected. It was a little creepy actually. Marcia’s energy had gone from a reserved friendliness and warmth to a seemingly calculated apathy. In an attempt to ignore it Anetra ordered another drink and moved towards a more empty corner of the bar. Despite the change in demeanor Anetra was still enamored with the blond leaving the bar. As the door closed and Marcia was out of sight, Anetra couldn’t help but -maybe irrationally- wait for a text from her.
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It was early in the morning when Marcia and her boyfriend arrived back at their apartment. He had been denied service at the bar and in his anger, grabbed Marcia by the wrist and threw her in the car. Even though she’d grown accustomed to this it didn’t stop the tears from welling up in her eyes.
Once they got to the apartment Marcia sat outside to watch as the sun began to rise, feeling the extra heat on her bruised arm and playing with the paper in her hands, debating if she should call the number written on it.
She thought back to a few hours earlier and how Anetra had made her feel. Despite her best efforts to push down all her feelings, Marcia couldn’t ignore the butterflies she felt in her stomach, and couldn’t help but wish that Anetra had moved quicker to grab her hand. She hated that she wanted it, and she hated what it would mean for her.
If she was going to have any chance at getting the life she wanted, this was not something she could be wanting. She had to stay desirable to straight men for the sake of her remaining hope that the right man would come along and fix all of her problems.
Marcia tried to send her unsettling thoughts away with thoughts of whatever man she thought could save her. He would be kind, and gentle, and have a smooth calming voice, nothing like the irritating sounds that came from her boyfriend. His hair and his eyes would be dark. He’d be strong but gentle at the same time, maybe with a scar to show it. Yeah, a scar right on his eye and- oh shit. This could not be happening to her. As Marcia tried to fill her head with images of her ‘perfect man’ she found her thoughts wandering back to Anetra. Her gentle gestures, her voice that felt like honey all throughout Marcia’s body, her dark hair, the scar over her left eye that only made her more intriguing. God this could not be happening.
Marcia’s breath began to feel sharp in her lungs and her heart felt like it was trying to claw its way out of her chest. She tried to take a deep breath but all she could muster was a shallow, wobbly inhale. She felt as tears stung at her eyes and her throat seemed intent on suffocating her. It was like something terrible had been lit deep inside her mind and was spreading until every single part of her was burning.
She didn’t know what to do, she was losing the ability to process the world around her as it started closing in and slowly crushing her. She tried to find something to ground her but all she found was the paper in her hand.
“I hate you” Marcia barely choked out the words. She hated the way Anetra made her feel, and she wouldn’t take any more of it. She shoved the paper back into her blouse and began swiping at the tears springing from her eyes.
What is wrong with her that some random woman she’d never met could make her feel like this? Could make her break down like this with just a drink and a few words. She hated everything about it. Why is this happening to her? Why can’t she just get what she wants for once?
She pleaded to the empty air around her to just make her stop feeling like this.
Marcia pulled the small paper back out of her blouse. She stared at it with aching lungs and tears in her eyes, wanting to rip it, but finding herself unable to. Feeling defeated, she let herself collapse on the small bench outside of her boyfriend’s apartment with a frustrated groan. She didn’t care how she looked when Daniel found her at this point, she just wanted to disappear.
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Marcia doesn’t exactly remember getting to her boyfriend’s couch but that’s where she wakes up. The first thing she feels is an aching in her ribs and a soreness in her eyes. The next thing she feels is disappointment that the soreness meant that what had happened wasn’t just a bad dream.
Trying to stand up Marcia starts to feel some more aches in her body.
It’s like her whole body is one big bruise. She feels absolutely drained, like there’s no life left in her limbs. As she makes her way to the bedroom she finds a note Daniel left for her hung on the door.
Marcia,
I’m gonna be out of town for business for the next few days.
Don’t do anything stupid.
-Danny
With a sigh of mixed pain and relief, Marcia makes her way into the bedroom and gingerly settles down in the bed. She’s still wearing the same clothes from last night and decides she’ll have to take a shower before she can properly rest.
Marcia allows herself a few minutes in bed before she makes her way to the bathroom. As she takes off her blouse the small piece of paper with Anetra’s number scribbled on it falls out. Marcia picks it up and looks over it again. As she runs her thumb over the paper she feels a new pang in her chest. This isn’t the soreness from her hard breathing or the ache of disappointment from not getting rid of the paper, this was different. She wanted to cry but her body was too tired to let out any tears.
Marcia sat in the shower for an hour as her head was filled with both a pounding pain and thoughts of the woman she met the day before. She wasn’t sure if it was the steam from the hot water or her exhaustion but she couldn’t get Anetra off her mind. Even with her best attempts to ignore it, a small part of Marcia kept telling her to text the number she had tucked away in her pile of clothes on the floor.
“What is wrong with me?”
She felt like she was going crazy. Marcia’s thoughts wandered further and further as her shower began to run out of warm water. Anetra confused Marcia more than anything ever had before. So why did she want to see her again?
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It was a little past 6 p.m. when Anetra heard her phone buzz. She had been laying on her bed in a hotel room watching t.v. Or at least trying to, there were never any good channels at these hotels.
She sighed as she reached for her phone on the bedside table and unplugged it. At first she was confused to get a text from a random number but she swore her heart skipped a beat when she actually read it.
Hey Anetra, it’s Marcia
Anetra watched the text bubbles on her screen as she awaited the second message
Can I take you up on that offer to take me for a drive?
Anetra repressed the urge to run out to her car and start speeding away before she even knew where she was going and instead texted Marcia back.
Of course
Where should I pick you up?
Anetra smiled at how quickly she got an answer and responded just as quickly with a brief “omw”. She haphazardly threw on her boots and black denim jacket as she grabbed her keys and left.
It wasn’t a very long drive, Anetra’s phone said it would take about 40 minutes but with Anetra driving that would probably be cut down to 30. She had stopped for gas on the way back from the race so she was able to go without making any stops.
Anetra briefly wondered how Marcia was able to get away with this. Her boyfriend didn’t really seem like the type to let her do this and she didn’t really seem like the rebellious type. For some reason the thought made her anxious but she decided to ignore it and focus on the drive. She turned her radio on to a random station and let the noise fill her brain and take away her nerves.
After 32 minutes Anetra pulled up outside of a small apartment complex. She parked near the door and as she walked towards it Marcia exited looking just as stunning as she had last night.
“Hey! Are you ready to go?”
Marcia just nodded and followed Anetra to her car. Anetra unlocked the car and opened the door for the other girl before getting into the driver's seat. Anetra glanced over at Marcia as she started the car. Upon a closer viewing Marcia looked a lot more tired and roughed up than at first glance. It was apparent that she was feeling nervous about something, and it was made obvious by a small shake in her voice when she spoke.
“So where do you plan on taking me? It must be good since you came all the way here to pick me up.”
“Oh I didn’t really have anything planned. I figured I’d just take you wherever you want to go.”
Anetra really hoped she didn’t seem weird. Sometimes when it comes to pretty girls she gets nervous and, unfortunately, it doesn’t usually come across as nerves. Sometimes it makes her seem overly flirtatious, sometimes desperate, and sometimes just downright strange, but something about Marcia made it a little easier for her to be genuine, despite how pretty the girl sitting across from her was.
“Ok then, what’s your favorite place to relax? We can go there.” Despite an attempt to come off excited Marcia seemed absolutely drained. There was no energy in her words and the corners of her mouth barely lifted into a small smile.
Anetra felt her heart ache a little. This poor girl seemed exhausted. She really should just be sleeping right now, but Anetra understood that she wanted to get away from the space she presumably shared with her boyfriend.
“Are you sure? It’s a pretty far drive. I don’t want you getting back too late”
Anetra noticed another flash of nerves across Marcia’s face before she seemed to relax again and answer.
“I’m sure. My boyfriend won’t be home for a few days so it’ll be just us.”
Though Anetra was sure it wasn’t Marcia’s intention, her words sent a burning feeling through Anetra’s stomach that she forced herself to push away. Whether or not she actually liked him, Marcia still had a boyfriend and Anetra still didn’t have definitive proof or a statement from Marcia that he was the abusive ass Anetra suspected he was. Either way, every second she spent with Marcia made Anetra hate her boyfriend more.
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They had been driving for about 30 minutes before either of them thought to speak again. The silence between them was filled with a warm feeling and the muted rumbling of the engine. Neither of them felt the need to break it as they watched the sky begin to burn as the sun got lower.
This was always Anetra’s favorite part of the drive. She wasn’t going anywhere too special, just a little cliffside with a pretty view, but something about the wind flowing and the warm colors of the sky made her heart lighten.
“Wow…look how gorgeous that is” Marcia pointed out of her window with her voice barely above a whisper.
Anetra turned to see the view out of the other window but found herself looking at Marcia instead of the sky. Maybe that’s why Anetra was drawn to her. Marcia was beautiful the same way the sky was beautiful, and the softness in her eyes was like the breeze coming through the open window as Anetra drove.
She didn’t have much of a chance to think about it though as Marcia snapped her out of her thoughts.
“Are you okay? You haven’t said much”
“Oh, yea. Just admiring the view”
Marcia cracked a small smile before she spoke.
“Well start admiring the road! I want to get to your mystery destination in one piece”
Anetra chuckled and put her eyes back on the empty lane in front of her.
“Hey, how fast have you gone in a car?” Anetra was smirking as she asked. It didn’t really matter what the answer would be, Anetra was about to take her faster.
“Not that fast. Why?”
“Oh no reason. Make sure you’re all buckled in princess” Anetra smiled at Marcia for a brief moment before putting her car in manual and shooting forward. Anetra vaguely registered the squeak that came out of Marcia and how she grabbed onto her hand on top of the gearshift, but she was more focused on getting just a little bit faster.
Anetra didn’t go as fast as she could for Marcia’s sake. After a short burst she slowed back down to a more relaxed speed that was only a bit faster than before. As nice as the slower relaxed drive was, Anetra really wanted to make sure they got to the spot before the sun completely set.
After a minute Marcia seemed to realize she still had a death grip on Anetra’s hand and let go, reaching for a water bottle in the bag by her feet.
Anetra felt her face start to heat up and was surprised to look over and see Marcia just as flushed as she was.
“Are you ok?”
“Oh, yeah. I was just- surprised. I’m sorry I grabbed your hand”
“No it’s ok. I liked it”
Anetra laughed a little to play off what she had said but Marcia still looked like she was about to explode. It was cute. Anetra felt an overwhelming urge to reach back for Marcia’s hand. Her hand was halfway towards Marcia’s before she really had a chance to think about it, but when she did she pulled her hand back. The last thing she wanted was to scare Marcia away. She figured it was a miracle Marcia even texted her in the first place. So Anetra just sat, milling over her thoughts and her feelings. She barely even knew Marcia, why would she want her to hold her hand? She wouldn’t. At least Anetra thought she wouldn’t. Which is why she was surprised when she felt Marcia’s hand rest on top of hers again, this time more gentle than when she was nervously gripping Anetra for safety. Anetra didn’t think about it too much. Reading into things usually got her into trouble. So they stayed like that for the rest of the drive. Anetra couldn’t tell if she was nervous or if she could feel Marcia’s nerves through her hand somehow but she knew the contact was making her heart beat just a little bit faster.
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‘Jesus what the fuck am I doing’
Marcia’s brain was spinning the fuck out. Why is she even in this car right now? And why did she feel the need to wear such a cute outfit? And why the fuck is she kind of holding Anetra’s hand right now? And oh fuck why is the car stopping?
“We’re here-” Anetra started off sounding excited before she noticed how much distress Marcia was in. “Oh shit are you ok?”
Marcia didn’t know what to say. She shouldn’t have texted Anetra this was a bad idea. What did she think she was going to get out of this? It started getting harder to breathe. ‘Fuck this cannot be happening right now’. Marcia’s palms started to sweat and she started to feel the burning in her chest again when her spiraling thoughts were interrupted by Anetra’s hand on her shoulder.
“Hey let’s get out of the car, ok?” Anetra’s voice was comforting enough to calm Marcia down for a moment.
“Yeah, sorry” Marcia took control of her breathing again and pulled at the door handle.
“Oh shit, sorry. That door gets a bit stuck sometimes. I’ll get it” Anetra rushed out of the car and around it to open Marcia’s door, offering Marcia her hand to help her out.
Marcia was surprised by Anetra’s strength as she took her hand and pulled her out of the car. She’d never witnessed someone who had such a gentle power to them. She found herself wanting more and wondering why. The more time she spent with Anetra the more confused she got. She hated it. But she also didn’t? This was all just too much for her exhausted brain to handle right now so instead of trying to think anything she just followed Anetra and sat down next to her on the hood of her car.
“So… do you like the view?”
They had made it just in time for the sunset. The sky was a bright orange with pink dustings of clouds. As pretty as the view was, Marcia's eyes were still pulled somewhere else. She tried to be subtle when looking at Anetra but it was nearly impossible to not fully turn her head and stare. The way she looked in the light was like nothing Marcia had ever seen before.
“Yeah, it’s really nice”
As she pulled her gaze back to the sky Marcia felt a pair of eyes fall on her and looked out of the corner of her eye to see Anetra looking at her instead of the cliffside view. Oh god why was she looking at her like that? Marcia felt the burning start in her chest again but this time it wasn’t painful, it was exciting. She turned her head to look back at Anetra and fully take in how she looked.
There were a million thoughts running through Marcia’s head, thousands saying she shouldn’t be here, thousands saying this was wrong, but most of them saying how gorgeous Anetra looked. And there was another set of thoughts that she’d like to ignore but was becoming much more apparent as it pushed its way to the forefront of her brain. She didn’t know what to expect from these thoughts but the last thing she expected was to see them reflected in Anetra. Anetra began to lean closer, a little bit at a time, and Marcia didn’t know what to do.
Her brain was running even faster now but all of her thoughts were occupied by imagining what it would feel like to kiss Anetra. She didn’t have to imagine much longer as her eyes gently closed and Anetra pressed her lips to Marcia’s, stopping her whirlwind of thoughts. Before Marcia processed how it felt Anetra abruptly pulled away like Marcia had burned her.
“Shit I’m sorry I should’ve asked- fuck.”
Damn it! Why was she stopping? Why can’t Marcia ever get what she wants?
“You have a boyfriend shit. I’m so sorry-”
Marcia was so fucking tired of her boyfriend ruining everything. For once Marcia was going to take what she wanted and she was far too tired to ignore how she was feeling. Marcia had made up her mind before Anetra could finish her sentence, interrupting her with another kiss.
The second kiss didn’t last very long either, it was only a few seconds, but it made Marcia feel a way she’d never felt before. There was a warmth in her cheeks and a fire that spread through her whole body, faster than the fire of a panic attack and much more enjoyable.
A cold breeze snapped Marcia out of her stupor as the reality of the situation began to hit Marcia and the thought of going back to the apartment tonight seemed like the worst idea ever.
“Can we stay here tonight?” It was probably an unreasonable request but there was no damn way Marcia was gonna sleep in her boyfriend’s stinky ass bed after that.
“Probably not. You need to sleep somewhere that isn’t a car and the side of a cliff isn’t usually the safest place in the world. But if you don’t want to go back to your apartment, my hotel room is closer.”
“You don’t mind?”
“Not at all.”
Perfect