Steddie one shots

Eddie liked seeing Steve walking through the halls with girls clinging to him. It reminded him more than anything of how he was still superior to all of those girls, desperate to get with The King. Sure Steve went on dates and had his fun with them, but at the end of the night he would always be knocking on Eddie’s door. Having Steve on his knees in front of him was the only thing that made him feel higher than the drugs he used.

They weren’t together, they weren’t boyfriends, they weren’t exclusive, but they both knew that they belonged to each other. Jealousy was never really an issue. As long as they both knew the other still had them on the highest place, it was no competition for the rest. So Eddie liked listening to whatever girl Steve had taken on a date, listening to her go on and on about how gentleman-like he had been, taking her to the movies. Going down on her and not expecting anything in return, only if she offered. Steve was a god to these girls. Eddie knew the real reason Steve didn’t want anything in return. After all, Eddie was right there after all of those useless dates. Eddie was there for him, showing him what he was missing with the girls.

It wasn’t love. Eddie didn’t let it be love. He knew he loved too quickly and too hard, which was not what he wanted with Steve. He didn’t want to drive him away with his overwhelming love. Eddie didn’t know how to do things halfway, so it was either all love or no love. In this case he had chosen for no love in fear of fucking the whole thing up with the heart he swore to protect. If only he had seen the signs, maybe things would’ve been different.

Eddie had been under the impression that Steve didn’t get his feelings involved either. However he came from a similar home as Eddie had, which made him have difficulties with love. Steve hadn’t learned to shut off his feelings, so where he pretended to not care, every so often his true feelings came shining through. Eddie tried his best to ignore them, for fear of what would happen if he would accept his own feelings in return. This all came to a boiling point when Steve came knocking on his door one night in November of ‘83.

See, Eddie knew he had been on a date with this Nancy girl. Steve had seemed a little more serious about her than about all the other girls he had been out with so far. Eddie didn’t mind. Steve was still at his door, after all.

So when Steve knocked on the door, Eddie pulled him in and started kissing him. It was only when Steve gently pushed him off that he realised something was different. Steve looked different. He didn’t have his usual passion in his eyes and there was something soft about him.

“Eddie, we need to talk.”

“Okay.. Sit down, I'll get you a beer or something.”

They usually didn’t do much talking, let alone when Steve was just coming around for a quick fuck or something. Eddie knew something must’ve been wrong, but he didn’t quite catch on to what it was.

“No, that’s okay, I’ll be quick.”

Eddie tried to lighten the mood. “That’s what you usually say, and then you stay here all night with my dick in your mouth.”

“Eddie, Jesus.”

Eddie could tell Steve was uncomfortable now. It usually took him longer to fully grasp other people’s emotions. In cases like this, that was highly impractical.

“What are we?”

Steve seemed genuinely upset at something.

“What do you mean?”

Steve sighed. “What are we? What is this.. This thing that we’re doing?”

Eddie was just confused. “We’re nothing. This is nothing. This is fun, a release.”

Somehow what he said had hurt Steve. “Okay. Fuck. Well.”

“Steve, what’s up.”

Steve sighed again, rubbing his eyes. “I’m going to date Nancy. Like, I’m going to be in a relationship with her.”

Eddie nodded. “Okay. I mean, you were with Tammy last spring and we still fucked, so I guess nothing will change.”

Steve shook his head. “No, Eddie, something has to change. I want an actual relationship, I’m done with this, this shit we’ve been doing.”

Eddie was still confused. “Wait, so this is over because you want to play house with Wheeler now? I’ll get you back eventually, I mean there’s no way you’ll be happy with her.”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say. Steve seemed angry now.

“Why is there no way I’ll be happy with her?”

Eddie answered very obliviously, he realised later. “I mean, you’re gay right? There’s no way a girl can make you happy in a relationship.”

Steve sighed once more, although this time it seemed like he actually wanted to scream. “Eddie, like I’ve told you quite some times before, I’m bisexual. I like both, I can be in relationships with both, just not at the same time, which is why I asked you what we were before asking Nancy to be my girlfriend. Something in me hoped that you would feel different about us, but since you clearly don’t and since I clearly want a relationship, I’m going to date Nancy.”

“There’s no such thing as liking both, you’re just mad at me. You’ll turn around eventually.”

Another wrong thing to say. Steve was really really angry now. He stepped forward, right in Eddie’s space. Eddie thought maybe they were about to kiss, sometimes that was what would happen. If he was sure he would’ve instigated it, but in his uncertainty it was better to leave Steve in charge.

“Fuck you Eddie.”

Steve basically spat out the words as he stormed out of the trailer. A part of Eddie expected him to come back. He didn’t. A part of Eddie expected Steve to look at him in the cafeteria the way he used to, but Steve seemed obsessed with Nancy, not even giving Eddie a look. A part of Eddie expected him to show up on his doorstep, but with every passing week Steve stayed away, Eddie realised it was over.

A year later he heard through the grapevine that Nancy and Steve had broken up. Hope had been reawakened in him, maybe Steve would come back to him now. He didn’t. Eddie waited and waited, but he never came. Eventually he had to accept Steve wasn’t going to come back to him, never again.

He talked the entire situation through with Gareth, who made him see where he fucked it up. Eddie had been so focussed on not getting caught up in feelings, he had neglected to acknowledge Steve’s feelings. The worst part was that he would’ve loved to be in a relationship with Steve, he just hadn’t realised it in time for Steve. And now he had hurt the man he loved, and Steve would never return to him. He had disregarded Steve’s feelings and his sexuality, basically his identity. He had been a real dick. He wasn’t sure he could fix it. There was no way he could fix it if Steve wouldn’t talk to him though.

He tried talking to Steve at a party where he was selling, but Steve was too drunk to care about what he had to say. He tried talking to Steve in ‘85, when he was working in that ice cream shop, but Steve’s bitchy coworker seemed to have his back. He tried to talk to Steve after the mall burned down, hoping a near death experience maybe made him re-evaluate some of his past relationships. No luck as his coworker was now permanently glued to his side. He tried to talk to him while Steve was picking up the kids he apparently babysat from Hellfire club, but Steve didn’t pay any attention to him. He was too busy keeping the kids in line. A weird melancholy feeling overtook him as he saw Steve being good with kids. That could’ve been them if Eddie hadn’t messed it up. He knew from Henderson Steve worked at Family Video now. He had the misfortune of entering the store when Steve was on break and Buckley, the annoying aforementioned coworker, was running the register.

“Ah, Munson. I assume you’re here for Steve?”

Maybe he would have luck with her today. “Yeah. I’ve been an idiot. I just want to talk to him about it.”

Robin laughed. “Idiot is lightly put. I know about the situation, Munson. Don’t worry, he didn’t want to out you. There was an.. Incident with some involuntary drug intake. Let’s just say he talked a bit too much. So did I. Anyways I know what you did and said. He’s over it now, he just doesn’t see a point in fixing things with you. So, truly, I don’t know why you’re here. Just because you realised Steve is actually amazing way too late to do something about it, doesn’t mean he’ll stoop down to your level again. So leave, before Steve gets back and he’ll have to deal with this bullshit.”

Eddie nodded. “You’re quite mean, Buckley.”

She put on a fake smile. “Only to the people who deserve it.”

Which, ouch. He made one mistake. Granted, it was a big one, but still. As he was leaving the store he heard Steve coming back from his break. He lingered long enough to hear the other man’s voice.

“What did he want?”

Robin glared at him. “The usual.”

Steve just rolled his eyes and got back to work.

If it had just stayed at that Eddie would've been fine eventually but of course Henderson had to have a word about the situation.

“Why doesn’t Steve like you?” He asked after a D&D session.

“Did he say that?”

Henderson shook his head. “No, Steve doesn’t say he dislikes someone unless he can tell us why he doesn’t like them. It’s just that whenever I mention you he kind of just sighs. Not a dreamy sigh, more like he’s annoyed. Plus I was in Family Video last week when you visited, talked to Robin and left. I heard him ask what you wanted and sigh when Robin told him you wanted ‘the usual’. What did you do to him?”

Eddie rolled his eyes at the boy. “Why can’t it be that Steve did something?”

Dustin laughed. “Two years ago I would’ve believed that. But Steve is a sweetheart. He has apologised to everyone he’s wronged and is basically best friends with Jonathan, who stole his girlfriend. AKA you did something that was bad enough for him to still dislike you.”

Eddie sighed. “I’m not going to tell you what I did because it’s private business that I don’t think Steve would want you to do. But it comes down to this: I did and said some stupid things because I disregarded the fact he has feelings too. Now I’ve been trying to set it right but he’s done with me. Which I can understand.”

Dustin nodded. “Okay. So it’s unsalvageable. That’s unfortunate. I feel like I’m a child of divorce.”

Eddie lightly punched him. “Listen, just, if he ever lets anything shine through about wanting to talk to me again, tell him I’m waiting for him. Have been since ‘83, I’m not going to lie.”

Dustin laughed and shook his head. “No, absolutely not. I’m not getting in the middle of this. If Steve is ready to talk, he’ll come to you. I think you’ve made it clear to him that you want to talk to him. Also I think he made it clear that he does not want to talk to you. Let it go, it’s kind of pathetic that you’re still holding onto something from all the way back in ‘83.”

If anyone else but Henderson had told him this, he would’ve gone feral. But Dustin didn’t mean any harm, he just doesn’t really get when to shut the fuck up. Eddie knew it was pathetic, but he just couldn’t let go. He had tried, he really had, but he kept seeing Steve everywhere. Maybe somewhat subconsciously he kept drifting to places he knew Steve would be, but he kept ending up face to face with him. As long as he kept seeing Steve, kept seeing the look of pure disinterest he got if he even got a look from the man at all, it reminded him of how he had fucked up. Eddie knew it now, he wished he could go back and slap his younger self across his face. Sometimes he remembered how angry, no, not angry, hurt, Steve had looked during the course of their conversation. He suddenly realised how he was bringing up that hurt again and again by showing up wherever Steve was. He needed to stop.

See the thing was, he had wanted to stop showing up everywhere Steve went. However, he couldn’t help it that he was suddenly on the run from the law, a suspect in a murder case and a witness to a supernatural crime that Steve and his gang were specialised in. He couldn’t help it that Dustin had figured out his location and brought Steve and said gang to Reefer Rick’s house. He couldn’t help it that he was scared out of his mind, being nearly stabbed by an oar and feeling the need to protect himself. It wasn’t his fault that Steve was the one holding the oar, that he was the one Eddie attacked with a broken bottle to the neck. He got a weird sense of deja-vu, having Steve pressed against a wall. Steve had changed, though, and so had he. He could see fear in Steve’s eyes, but not just fear, something else. Something that gave him just a glimmer of hope. A look he only recognized from his alone time with Steve all those years ago. A look of want.

He saw Steve leave the boat shed after everything was explained to Eddie. Robin tried to follow him but he waved her away. This wasn’t a good moment to approach the man, but he felt like he had to. He felt this weird pull. Like he was meant to follow Steve, like it was important, like the universe was telling him to. And who was he to ignore the universe.

“Don’t even, Eddie.”

Before Eddie could even speak, Steve already shut him up. He wasn’t even looking at Eddie, he was just standing there, hunched over a fence, clearly trying to clear his mind.

Eddie lit a cigarette, not saying anything in favour of Steve’s mental state, which appeared to be even more fragile than Eddie’s. If everything Henderson said in there was right, and this wasn’t the group's first time experiencing this shit, Eddie wasn’t surprised that Steve was taking this a little hard.

Steve looked up at the sound of the lighter, eyes fixed on the cigarette, not at all on Eddie. Eddie offered him the cigarette and Steve immediately took it, still not looking at him.

“Don’t tell Robin, she’ll fucking kill me.”

Eddie laughed quietly. “You don’t smoke anymore?”

Eddie and Steve used to chainsmoke together, always sharing whatever cigarette they lit, no matter where they were. People don’t mind two guys sharing a cigarette together. Sure, it got a little more, intimate, when it was just the two of them, but usually it was just the two of them sharing cigarettes. It clearly hadn’t fully left Steve’s system, because he offered Eddie the cigarette back after two drags. Eddie handed it back to him again once he had taken a few drags and their little routine carried on.

“I Stopped in ‘83. Nancy didn’t like smoking, after her I just didn’t really feel like getting sucked back into it. I started smoking again around my finals, but then I started working at Scoop’s and Robin threw away all the packs of cigarettes I had, either on me or just laying around. So no, I don’t smoke anymore. However, after today, Jesus I needed it.”

Eddie was so happy Steve was talking to him again. Sure, it wasn’t anything too deep or interesting, but at least he was talking to Eddie. The last words Eddie had heard from Steve that were directed at him was a very genuine ‘fuck you, Eddie’, so this was definitely an improvement.

“Sorry for the whole bottle thing.”

Steve scoffed, actually looking at him now. “It’s fine. Look, we’re going to have to deal with each other these next couple of days, please don’t make it unbearable for me. For as far as the kids know, we don’t know each other outside of maybe two interactions in school. I would like it if we could keep it like that. Don’t bring anything up around them or I swear to god I’ll find that broken bottle and finish the fucking job.”

Eddie nodded. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little turned on right now. Steve seemed to be able to see it, a little side effect of their time together. He just sighed, rolled his eyes and started to walk towards the boat shed.

“Keep it in your fucking pants, Munson.”

Steve knew exactly what he was doing as he walked past Eddie and placed the cigarette between Eddie’s lips, tracing them quickly with his fingers as he kept eye contact. After that brief touch he just left. Steve was purposefully torturing him. Eddie couldn’t fully blame him, but if he was going to have to deal with more of that in the coming days, he wouldn’t survive. Steve knew Eddie still wanted him, he was using it to his advantage and already having a bit too much fun with it.

The next few days were absolute hell for Eddie. If he wasn’t being chased by Carver and his crew, witnessing another supernatural murder or hiding out in the woods, Steve was there with all his goddamn Harrington charm. Nancy had joined their little crew and the frustration of having both Nancy and Eddie back in his life all of a sudden seemed to make Steve a bit bitchier. Eddie noticed he took it out on him, which, again, not totally undeserved. He just wished Steve would give him a fucking break. Eddie had been hiding out by skull rock, he knew he used to go there with Steve sometimes, but that wasn’t the primary reason, or at least not consciously. Steve had found him there, standing in their fucking makeout spot. He got this look in his eyes. When the other’s were distracted enough, Steve took Eddie’s hand, pulled him close and whispered to him.

“Munson, I swear to god, one more stunt like this and I make sure to send Carver your head as a fucking birthday gift. I told you to not give me a hard time.”

He then tucked Eddie’s hair behind his hair, exactly like he always used to do, traced his fingers along Eddie’s lips once again and completely let go of Eddie. But not before whispering once more.

“If I have to deal with this shit, so do you.”

Eddie basically had to sit down after that. Even when Steve was mean and torturing him with his touches, being so close yet out of reach, he was so fucking hot. Or maybe those actions were what made him even hotter than before. Eddie had a problem.

They were walking towards the lake when Eddie overheard a conversation between Steve and Robin. He didn’t mean to eavesdrop, he was just in hearing range but out of sight. It was bad, he knew that, but he wanted to know what was being said about him.

“I swear if this shit goes on any longer I’ll fucking combust. Why do both of my exes, well, one ex and one, I don’t fucking know, Eddie have to be here at the same time? Couldn’t Vecna have picked a different moment to take Chrissy? Like, not when she was with Eddie?”

Robin somewhat laughed and lightly hit him. “Sorry, douchebag comment. Don’t joke about Chrissy, got it. I’m just..”

“It’s a lot, Steve, I know. Both of them really hurt you. It was a long time ago but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still sting from time to time, especially in an already challenging time, with Vecna and all. If you want me to hit either of them, just tell me and I will. I’ve been looking for an excuse to let my anger out anyways. Plus, I have the advantage of being able to hit Nancy considering I’m a girl.”

Steve laughed. “You don’t want to hit Nancy, she has guns. Like, actual guns.”

That’s when Dustin loudly announced they needed to get in a boat to track the signal to a gate or whatever, Eddie hadn’t been fully paying attention. He was a little too focussed on Steve.

Somehow Eddie ended up in a boat with Nancy, Robin and Steve. He had no idea how he got there, but here he was, in the middle of lover’s lake. Why did he keep ending up in situations like these?

Steve was saying something about swimming down which Eddie again didn’t quite catch considering Steve was undressing right in front of him. Steve gave him a look when he saw Eddie staring at him, a look that seemed annoyed yet somewhat intrigued? He pulled out a cigarette which was immediately thrown away by Robin. Steve hadn’t been kidding earlier.

He didn’t remember much because of how fast everything was happening but Steve was being dragged down the gate and Eddie knew he had to do something. Nancy was the first to go in, only first because Robin was too traumatised to get it together fast enough. Robin jumped in right after Nancy, which just left Eddie in the boat. He didn’t wait too long before catching on to what he was supposed to do as he threw himself in the lake and went after Steve.

Seeing Steve struggling for his life awakened a new kind of rage inside of Eddie. He had never realised how much Steve actually meant to him, how much more it was than just raw attraction until he saw the man nearly dying. He ran towards him and started fighting off the bats. Steve quickly rejoined the fight and if Eddie had had the time he would’ve stopped to admire just how hot Steve looked as he ripped a bat’s head off with his bare fucking teeth. That was definitely a memory that he’d save for later.

Relief wasn’t the feeling that washed over him as they were seeking shelter and Steve’s wounds were taken care of by Nancy. He saw the way they looked at each other and realised in that moment how much of this he could’ve prevented by being honest with Steve. It was entirely possible Steve would never even have been dragged into this whole mess if Eddie had just told him that he wanted a relationship, if Eddie had told him to not go after Nancy. He felt jealousy bloom for the connection that was clearly growing again between Steve and Nancy and before he knew it, he was throwing his battle jacket at Steve to just break the obvious tension between the two exes.

Steve looked at him like he could kill him and Eddie could understand why. They started to walk towards Nancy’s house, who genuinely had guns in her house, when Steve and Eddie were practically forced to walk next to each other.

“Listen, Steve, can I just explain myself?”

Steve sighed. “I’m really not in the mood for this right now. I nearly fucking died back there, can’t you give me a break?”

Eddie wasn’t about to just let this go. “No, Steve, that’s exactly why I can’t give you a break. You nearly dying reminded me of the fact we might not get out of this alive and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t explain myself to you before I literally can’t anymore, so please. Please just hear me out. You can go back to hating me afterwards, I just want to try and make something right.”

Steve looked at him with a mixture of emotions being shown through his expression. “I don’t hate you.”

Eddie was taken by surprise by that statement. He was sure Steve would hate him after all he had put him through.

“I don’t hate you, and that’s why this is so fucking hard. So just spit it out, because knowing you, you’re not going to stop trying and I’m already tired of it.”

Eddie nodded, knowing this wasn’t the best start but also knowing trying to make it better wouldn’t work.

“Okay, I’ll be quick, but you have to promise to not interrupt me. Please just wait until I’m done to respond.”

Steve sighed. “I won’t promise that I’ll respond at all but I won’t interrupt.”

Still, not the best start, but it would have to do. Eddie had pictured this moment very differently, like, maybe he would talk to Steve about this in the rain, screaming at him how he loved him and always had and then they would run into each other’s arms and live happily ever after or something dumb like that. In the forest in an alternate dimension where they were being chased by flesh eating bats and going to Nancy Wheeler’s house to find guns wasn’t his ideal situation. But it would have to do.

“I’m not very good at emotions. I tend to overdo them. So when our, situation, started I decided to shut off my feelings. I didn’t want to overwhelm you and I didn’t want to get hurt. I was under the impression you weren’t in it for the feelings either, I thought we were just a casual thing. So when you came to me that night, talking about a relationship with Nancy, I thought you were just joking or were just announcing how our situation was going to be. I didn’t expect you to have feelings for me, I didn’t expect you to want anything more from me so I didn’t realise. I drove you away because I was confused about my own feelings. See, pushing your emotions down doesn't mean you don’t feel them. I realised too late what my feelings for you were, and when I did realise I had already lost you. I expected you to come back to me, but I didn’t realise how badly I had hurt you. I’m so sorry for all the things I said, for disregarding your feelings, for disrespecting your identity and for being an oblivious asshole. All I want to say is, I never stopped feeling these things for you. There has never been another for me, Steve, and I don’t think there ever will be. I will forever be haunted by the fact that I let you go and if there’s even a slight chance you’d want to give me another shot, I promise to make it worth it. I know you sort of have the same choice you can make here, between me and Nancy, but I’m not giving you up that easily this time. If it’s too late, I’ll step back, but if there’s even a little part of you that still feels for me, I’m not giving up.”

Steve stayed quiet. He just stopped walking and looked at Eddie. They were standing there for quite some time, Nancy and Robin quite far ahead.

“Eddie, I-”

He couldn’t get the words out, or so it seemed. He took a step towards Eddie but seemed conflicted. Eddie didn’t really know what to do or say now. He just stared at Steve, who stared back at him.

“I can’t- I just can’t do this right now, I’m sorry, Eddie. I’m sorry. Later, I promise I’ll talk about this later, just- just not right now.”

He practically sprinted forward, stealing Robin away from Nancy. Nancy stood there as Eddie caught up with her.

“What was that about?”

Eddie just shook his head. He didn’t feel like talking to the girl he was up against, once again, but he knew he kind of had to.

“Nothing that concerns you, don’t worry it won’t impact any of your plans, sergeant.”

Nancy looked somewhat offended, probably at being left out, but she clearly didn’t care enough to make a fuss about it. After all, her goal was to find the guns and get back through the gate no matter what.

After that moment in the forest, Steve backed away from both Nancy and Eddie. Nancy seemed to notice, as Eddie overheard her asking Robin what was going on with Steve all of a sudden. Steve was now constantly stuck to either Dustin’s or Robin’s side. Even Max noticed something going on with him, or at least it seemed.

They stole a camper. Eddie subconsciously flirted with Steve while he was hot wiring it. He only realised what exactly he had said after a very angry look from Robin, after which he shut up for the rest of the ride. Nancy joined Steve at the front of the camper. He could hear them talking. Steve was telling her about this dream he had, one where he had six kids in a camper like what they had now. He told her how the dream was stupid anyways. She seemed concerned by Steve’s demeanour, placing a hand over his hand. He looked at her and Eddie saw the look he had hoped would be for him. He hadn’t lost Steve entirely, but he was starting to lose him. Nancy didn’t pull back, Steve did. He focussed on the road, removed his hand and stayed quiet unless Nancy asked him something first. Steve was clearly confused and Eddie hated that he had a part in doing this to him. Nancy didn’t even realise there was another contender for Steve’s love, yet she seemed to grasp onto the fact that Steve was conflicted, giving the whole deep talk a rest and resorting to bitching about her little brother, who they both found incredibly annoying apparently. Robin saw him staring at the two and gestured for him to come to her.

“I honestly want to slap the living shit out of you, do you realise that?”

Eddie actually got scared by this girl sitting in front of him, this band nerd who was usually afraid to talk to anyone, now telling him she wanted to slap him.

“I can guess why.”

Robin sighed. “You’ve hurt him enough. I thought I had made myself pretty clear last time. He doesn’t deserve this from you.”

Eddie nodded. “I-”

“Shut up, I’m not finished talking. You told Steve he had a choice to make, the same choice he had to make before but this time you wouldn’t give up so easily. You confused him. You made him believe he had another shot at a relationship with you and with the girl who broke his heart in a million pieces. You’re setting him up to be absolutely crushed again, do you realise that? You can’t possibly think a relationship with you would do him any good, do you?”

Eddie took a deep breath. Robin was quite mean when she wanted to be.

“Robin, you don’t understand, I have to try. If I don't, I'll never forgive myself.”

Robin actually laughed now, which sounded dangerous. “Oh, so this is you being selfish? You can’t possibly be like this. You want to fix a mistake, so you drag Steve down with you?”

Eddie shook his head. “No, Robin, you don’t understand. I love him. I’m genuinely utterly and completely in love with him. I want him to know that, because I know he doesn’t have that. It isn’t much, but it’s what I have to offer him.”

Robin took a second to respond. “Like he hasn’t heard that before. How can you love him? You haven’t spoken to him since ‘83.”

“I love him not because of my memory of him, although that is a part of it. I love him because I saw the way he cared for Nancy, I saw what he looks like when he loves and it was my favourite thing ever to see. I love him for the way he cares for these children, how he gives them the love he never got at their age. I love him for how much he cares for each and every one of you, especially for you, Robin. I might not have been a part of this group for long but I see the way he looks at you, he would die for you, for each of you. I love him for who he was when he was with me, I love him even more for who he became without me and I hope to love how he is with me if he chooses to give me another chance.”

Robin took a deep breath. “Okay. You sound genuine. I’m still not convinced, but you’re a better choice than Nancy. Even Steve can see right through her act. She’s just having a hard time with Jonathan and Steve is weak for her. She’s taking advantage of it and it’s honestly fucked up. I’m trying to get her to focus on me instead of on Steve, but she’s stubborn in getting his attention. I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, I don’t like you either.”

Eddie laughed. “I know you don’t. Neither does Steve.”

Robin hit him. “You’re an actual idiot, Munson. Of course he does, why else would he be struggling like this? If he honestly didn’t like you he would’ve told you to go fuck yourself after that little stunt you pulled in the woods in the upside down. He’s gonna kill me for telling you this but someone had to get it through your thick, idiotic skull, you absolute dingus.”

Eddie let the words sink in. He hadn’t lost Steve, not yet. If anything, he was closer than ever to getting him back. Robin gave him a look that was clearly meant to be scolding, but Eddie saw a glimpse of something else. Like she was happy something was dawning on him. Eddie knew now what he had to do. When this was all over, he would not stop trying to get Steve back. Now that there was hope, he would find a way. It would take a while, but he was absolutely fine with that.

Nearly dying was not something that was part of his plan. He acted like an idiot, once again, but in the moment it seemed like the most logical thing to do. Keeping Henderson safe at all costs was what was most important here. The kid was way more important than he ever could be. He was disposable, Dustin wasn’t. He was bleeding out in front of his trailer in this alternate dimension, feeling the life he so desperately wanted to reclaim flow out of him as Dustin held him and screamed. He faintly heard an all too familiar voice coming closer to him. There were hands on his chest, hands on his back, he was being carried somewhere. Consciousness slipped away as he was certain this would be his ending.

“You absolute fucking asshole.”

The first words he heard when he woke up weren’t what he had expected. He recognized the voice, though, he always would. It was Steve, he was here. As Eddie slowly opened his eyes he could see the room he was in. He was in the hospital, a sterile white room that gave him way too much anxiety with the man of his dreams and his little band of kids. Only there were a few he didn’t immediately recognize. A boy and a girl, both huddled against Mike Wheeler, the little shit. Nancy was there, Robin was there, Dustin was right by Steve. The only ones they were missing were Lucas, Max and baby Sinclair.

Eddie smiled as he saw the people in the room, who were all just staring at him. Steve had been the first to say something, but what he had said seemed to be the exact thing everyone else was thinking, judging from their expressions.

“I told you to do one thing, don’t be a hero. You’re an idiot.”

Dustin violently nodded along to what Steve was saying. Dustin always agreed with Steve, but now it was more apparent than ever that they shared similar emotions about the situation. This wasn’t the right moment at all, but it gave Eddie hope for his future with Steve.

Dustin surged forward and hugged him. Eddie was still hurting all over from the vicious attacks of those flesh eating bats, so he flinched a little, but Dustin didn’t care. He just hugged Eddie. Dustin started crying louder and louder as the hug went on and people started leaving the room to give them space. Steve left too, but not before putting a hand on Dustin’s back and telling him he would be right outside.

“You asshole. Why couldn’t you just listen?”

Eddie tried to answer but Dustin stopped him. “Don’t you dare give me some bullshit excuse about saving me, because it’s not right. You would’ve saved me, yes, but didn’t you see the bats dropping down right after you ran outside? You sacrificed yourself for nothing, you should’ve just trusted Steve. You should’ve just stayed with me. They were almost too late, Eddie, I almost lost you.”

Eddie tried to talk but his voice was hoarse, not having talked in quite a while and also being attacked by those bats around his throat wasn’t a good combination. “I’m sorry. You’re not going to lose me. I’m right here.”

Dustin started crying louder and Eddie just held him. Eventually everything came out of Dustin. How Max had been under vecna’s curse and had broken almost all of her limbs, how she was in a coma and they didn’t know when or if she would wake up. How Steve, Robin and Nancy had defeated Vecna, but had almost died in the process. How Dustin had almost lost everyone and was so terrified he still could. The upside down had come back before, after all, and every time it did they lost someone. Eddie just listened and started to understand the gravity of his choice to protect Dustin. He had been an idiot and had once again disregarded someone’s feelings. He really needed to stop fucking everything up.

“Steve is really mad at you.”

Eddie laughed. “Okay so nothing has changed there.”

Dustin let go of him and just looked at him. “Everything has changed. He’s mad at you because everything has changed. You should have seen him when he found you. I have never seen him like that, not even when Nancy was under Vecna’s curse. He was so scared you weren’t going to make it. You started talking on the way to the hospital, not loud enough for anyone but Steve to hear but he seemed so horrified by whatever you said. He just told Nancy to drive faster. He seemed determined to get you there in time, to make you survive it. He’s mad that you sacrificed yourself, not because you didn’t listen to him but because you almost died.”

Eddie let all of that sink in. He stayed quiet as Dustin waited for a response. Eddie couldn’t really wrap his head around everything that had just been said to him. That’s when Steve appeared in the doorway.

“Dustin, we gotta go. Max is waking up.”

He didn’t acknowledge Eddie. He was back to ignoring the man’s existence. It was excruciatingly painful seeing Steve take Dustin away without so much as even sparing him a glance. After a while, Robin came to see him. Steve wasn’t with her.

“He’ll come around, give him a little bit of time. He feels so shitty already about not being able to see you right now, he wants to be there for you but it’s too much with Max and everything that has happened. He’ll come and talk to you when he’s ready, don’t hold it against him, please.”

Eddie nodded. He knew it was probably a lot. He wasn’t going to lie, he didn’t remember what he told Steve when he was almost dying. But considering all the things Eddie had told Robin in the caravan and how deeply he felt for Steve, he could make a guess. If telling Steve he loved him as he was dying was too much for Steve, Eddie could very well understand it. That didn’t make it easy, seeing Steve walk through the halls of the hospital with the kids and Robin. He just wanted to reach out to him, but he knew he had to give him space.

Steve didn’t visit him in the hospital. He was always around, keeping an eye on things, but he never really came into Eddie's room to talk to him. Eddie was healing quickly and was able to walk around soon enough. He decided he was going to go out for a cigarette. He didn’t expect Steve to be standing there already. A part of him knew he shouldn’t join him, but another part of him was screaming to just go for it. He felt like if he turned away now he would never find the courage again.

“What are you doing out of bed?”

Steve didn’t look at him but he seemed to immediately know it was Eddie. He slowly turned around to face him. Steve was already smoking.

“I thought you quit.”

Steve pointed at him with the cigarette. “Don’t tell Robin.”

“I won’t. I just came out to smoke, it seems like you had a similar idea.”

Steve hummed in agreement. “Great minds think alike or something like that, right?”

“Look, Steve, I-”

Steve shook his head. “No, I’ve heard enough of your monologues, you’re going to let me talk now, understood?”

“But-”

Steve changed his position, clearly meaning to look intimidating. It was working, Eddie was immediately quiet.

“No, don’t apologise. Not again. You did something stupid, but I can’t lie to you, I would’ve done a similar thing. Maybe I would have waited a little longer for the main team to do their job, but my main goal is and always will be to protect the kids, so I get where you’re coming from. You were an idiot, but I have been too in these situations. I can’t blame you. What I can do is feel my feelings and not have you discard them again, which is why I need you to be quiet and not interrupt me.”

Steve took a drag of his cigarette, which he then handed to Eddie. That little gesture was enough to give Eddie hope for the course of this conversation.

“You were bleeding out in my lap when you told me you loved me. I assumed it was just some rambling while you were dying, but when I talked about it to Robin, she told me about the conversation that you two had in the caravan. I just want to say, if you actually meant any of that, I need you to tell me again. I need you to tell me you love me, not Robin. I need you to tell me you love me when you aren’t bleeding out, I need to know you mean it because I’m not setting myself up for disappointment again. I can’t handle another heartbreak so if you’re not serious-”

Steve took a moment to catch his breath. He looked expectantly at Eddie, waiting for his response.

“Tell me. Convince me.”

Eddie took a deep breath as well, preparing for his second chance at the moment to confess his love to the man of his dreams.

“I have fucked up a lot of things in my life by feeling too much or too little. You’re an example of it, but like I told you before, I want to fix it. When I look into my future I can’t picture me being with anyone else besides you. It’s you or no one. No one else will ever mean as much to me as you do. When I saw you getting attacked by those bats I knew more than ever that if I ever lost you, I wouldn’t survive. I love you, Steve. I love you so much I haven’t even thought about anyone else since the day I made you leave all the way back in ‘83. I love you so much I would stalk you, just to get a chance to speak to you, to try and fix things. I love you like I have never loved anyone before, and I will never love anyone like this ever again.”

Steve breathed in. Steve breathed out. Steve pulled out another cigarette out of the nearly empty pack and started smoking it, handing it to Eddie after a few drags.

“I believe you. I don’t know if this is the best or the worst choice I have ever made, but I know one thing: I know my feelings. Every time I saw you, every time you came and looked for me, looked to talk to me, all I wanted to do was give up and go back to you. I never did, not because I didn’t want to but because I was convinced you wouldn’t feel the same things I felt. Because I was convinced you were just bored. After what you told me in the woods, I didn’t know what to think. It seemed like you were serious, but it had seemed like that before and back then you had crushed me. My heart is not what it used to be, I’m afraid I won’t survive it if this goes wrong. I’m telling you to be careful with me, I’m trusting you with what’s left of me, you have to decide right now if that’s enough for you, because if it isn’t-”

Eddie surged forward, grabbed Steve’s face and pulled him into a passionate, all consuming kiss. They had never kissed like this before. Steve quickly returned the kiss and with every shared breath, with every shared movement they seemed to fuse together. Eddie didn’t know anymore where he started and Steve ended, and it was an amazing feeling. No one had ever made him feel this way, and no one else ever would. He knew at that moment things would be alright. No matter what they had to face together, they would get out of it. They only stopped to catch their breaths, foreheads still pressed against one another. Steve’s hands were in Eddie’s hair and Eddie’s hands were on Steve’s waist.

“I love you too, Eddie.”