Reason Why
Illyana remembered the stars the night she first met Kitty. Logan had shown up a week prior with Kitty and Kurt, but the Professor had kept them hidden away as he evaluated them. Illyana was in her room, unable to sleep and had instead used her magic to project the stars onto the ceiling of her room. She was so engrossed in the stars that she hadn’t noticed the voices outside her room.
Ororo quietly opened the door, knowing full well that Illyana was awake. She stayed half in and half out as she asked Illyana, “Your room has an extra bed, yes?”
Illyana nodded, “I haven’t been given a roommate yet.”
Bobby then peaked his head in with a smirk, “Would you like one?”
Ororo rolled her eyes and lightly pushed him away from the door, “It is a genuine question though. There’s a girl your age that you may have seen. She doesn’t have a room yet. It’s completely fine if you don’t want a roommate yet.”
Illyana thought for a few seconds, debating if she really wanted a roommate yet. She decided to take the risk and gave Ororo an approving nod.
Ororo smiled and opened the door wider, leading a frail girl with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. She stood behind Ororo and looked at the ground shyly.
Illyana got out of bed and stood a small distance away from them. Ororo turned to Kitty and managed to get her to stop hiding behind her, “Come child, this is your new roommate. Say hello.”
“Hi,” Illyana greeted and waved before holding out her hand, “I’m Illyana.”
The girl hesitated before stepping forward and gently shaking her hand, “I’m Kitty.”
Ororo looked between them and then yawned, “I shall leave you two to talk or sleep, whatever it is you choose to do. Do not stay up too late.”
With that, Ororo turned around, looking at them one last time before leaving and shutting the door.
There was a pause followed by awkward silence as Kitty looked around the room that was draped in shadows and delicately illuminated by the moonlight from their shared window. Illyana didn’t really know what to do or say. She’d never had a roommate before. Kitty’s eyes then finally landed on the stars above Illyana’s bed.
She tilted her head and pointed, “What are those?”
“Oh, stars,” Illyana whipped around, looking at the enchanted stars on her ceiling.
“How did they get there?” Kitty asked with confusion, “Aren’t stars meant for the sky?”
“I did a spell,” Illyana said and then added, “I’m a sorceress.”
“Is that your power?” Kitty questioned.
“One of them. My mutant power is teleportation,” Illyana told her, “And I have a sword.”
“Like Kurt?” Kitty tilted her head.
“I don’t know who that is,” Illyana responded honestly.
“Oh, I'm sorry. He’s my friend. He came here with me. He can teleport,” Kitty described, “And he likes swords, but he doesn’t have a sword.”
Illyana nodded, “You’ll have to introduce me to him then.”
Kitty cracked a smile for the first time since they’d met, displaying her excitement at the thought. Her excitement was interrupted by a sudden yawn.
“Your bed is over there,” Illyana pointed to the bed on the opposite side of the room.
Kitty walked over to the bed she pointed at and then got under the sheets. Illyana did the same, interpreting her movement as a sign that the conversation had ended. They both laid down to fall asleep.
However, neither one could sleep. For Illyana, she guessed it was nerves due to the fact that she’d never had a roommate before. For Kitty, she assumed it was nightmares or something like that that prevented her from the relief of sleep. Illyana watched her as she realized their shared plight. She then made another split second decision and expanded the spell. The stars were no longer isolated to just her bed and instead danced around the room.
Kitty rolled over and gazed at them in awe. Then, she flashed Illyana an amazed smile. Although Illyana would never admit it, that was perhaps the moment she realized she liked this girl.
Out of the silence came Kitty’s voice, “Thanks for letting me be your roommate.”
It wasn’t hard to sleep after that.
*
Illyana woke up and rubbed her eyes. She needed to make sure all of this was real. She turned her head and looked at Kitty as she slept in the bed next to hers. Lockheed slept peacefully on the edge of the bed at Kitty’s feet. Genoshan beds weren’t the worst and Kitty had passed out the moment she had spotted the mattress.
In truth, Illyana had been the first to go to Kitty’s dorm after she heard that something had happened. She collected Lockheed and then teleported out just before the investigative team arrived. When she got Kitty from the cabin and teleported her to the beach house on Genosha, Lockheed was there to greet her. Kitty’s spirits were lifted instantly.
Illyana silently got out of bed and walked over to the window, peeking through the curtains to see the ocean outside recovering from an overnight storm. The storm clouds still littered the sky and provided a few strong gusts of wind.
After considering going back to bed, she checked the time and decided to sit outside for a while. It would be cold outside, no doubt, but she wouldn’t mind it. She had never minded the cold. It was one of the few benefits of being Russian, in her opinion.
She made sure Kitty was fast asleep before she slipped out of the room. Illyana then ventured to the porch facing the beach. She found a swing bench under the veranda and took a seat on one of the cool cushions. She laid down among the cushions, resting her head against a scratchy, cold pillow and staring up at the veranda.
*
Illyana remembered that morning like it was yesterday. When she was thirteen and Kitty was fifteen. It had almost been two years to the day since Kitty and Kurt had been brought in by Logan as a part of the school.
On this particular morning, she and Kitty had woken up early to do a session in the danger room without any of the adults to stop them. To summarize, they had spent more time switching between the different settings to see how each of the individual X-men trained. Kitty got her hands on the console and almost managed to design a setting unique to them before Hank had walked in, eyes blurry from sleep with an extra large coffee mug in hand. Kitty phased through the wall to avoid a lecture and Illyana teleported out, leaving Hank confused as to why the danger room had been left on.
The two girls had reemerged on the ground floor, giggling and whispering at their little stunt. They decided to get something to eat for breakfast and then watch TV after. Kitty had gotten a poptart while Illyana had tried making herself a few slices of toast. She remembered Kitty’s little chuckle after she burnt the first piece and helped her with the second two.
That being said, the mood was light as they made their way into the lounge to eat in front of the TV. But the mood changed the moment they walked inside. Ororo watched the TV with her hand over her mouth, clearly in shock at something. Jean came in and stood by Ororo, holding onto her shoulders as she watched whatever it was unfold. Scott and the Professor stood in the back corner of the room, having a serious conversation. Bobby sat on a bean bag with a cereal bowl in his lap. He unknowingly dropped the spoon he was holding, causing him to curse as the milk spilled on him. Jean scolded him.
Then Illyana looked at Kitty by her side. Kitty looked like she was going to scream, to cry, but she couldn’t. She was frozen in fear, looking at the same TV screen as everyone else.
Illyana turned her attention to the screen. The channel had been turned to the news. Illyana read the rapidly changing subtitles.
There’d been a bombing in Vienna. The bombing had killed twelve people, including King T’Chaka of Wakanda. The suspect had been a certain James Buchanan Barnes, or as most people knew him, the Winter Soldier. It would turn out that that was how Kitty knew him too.
“Are you okay?” She had asked her.
Kitty’s eyes welled with tears. She could always tell when her mind was racing and when she was overthinking. Watching Kitty have such a dramatic change from carefree to anguish, made Illyana’s heart hurt. She moved to hold her hand. The sudden contact brought Kitty back from the depths of her mind.
Kitty looked to Jean, asking her a question through her mind.
“Kurt and Logan are in Berlin,” Jean answered aloud, “They’ll be okay, Kitty.”
Kitty’s eyes welled up again and she dropped the poptart before running upstairs to her room. Illyana caught the poptart and placed it on her plate with the slices of toast. She looked at Jean, locking eyes with her.
Go after her, she heard Jean’s voice say in her head, She needs someone.
Illyana did as directed, gliding up the stairs and then gently opening the door to their shared dorm room. Kitty sat next to her bed with her head in her hands. Illyana shut the door and then set down the plate on Kitty’s dresser before sitting down in front of her. Illyana removed her hands from her face and cupped her face with her hands, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her thumbs.
“What’s wrong?” Illyana asked softly.
“It’s him, Yana,” Kitty choked through a sob, “It’s him. He’s back.”
“Who’s back?” She continued to ask gently.
“The Winter Soldier,” She said and then repeated, “He’s back.”
“Did you know him back at HYDRA?” She knew the question was risky.
Kitty hesitated, “I knew of him for a while and then one day HYDRA made me fight him. He almost killed me, Yana. And then.. And then..” She trailed off, putting her hand over her mouth as she started weeping again.
“They’re not safe, Yana. Not if he’s out there,” Kitty cried.
“It’s Kurt and Logan. And my brother is with them. They will be okay, Kitty,” Illyana got close to Kitty and enveloped her in a hug and held her while she cried. She remembered how long it took before Kitty took steady breaths. She remembered when Jean and Ororo came in. They all sat on the floor together. Jean eased Kitty out of Illyana’s arms and whispered small things to her to calm her mind. At some point, the Professor called Jean away to go with Scott to Berlin to pick up Kurt, Logan, and Piotr. Kitty insisted she go with them just in case, but Ororo managed to convince her to stay put. Ororo stayed with her and Kitty through the day. She remembered how her and Ororo had worked together to get Kitty to finally smile.
She remembered how that smile faded days later when they found out that the others hadn’t been able to come back. There had been a fight in an airport. Avengers fighting Avengers. She remembered how tightly Kitty held onto her until Piotr, Logan, and Kurt came back. She remembered seeing her cry into Kurt’s arms when they got home. The tight hugs she gave Logan and Piotr. She remembered how relief washed over her now that her brother, Logan, and Kurt were safe, but also that Kitty finally felt at ease.
*
Illyana laid there for a few moments in thought, asking herself, why did Kitty go to aid the one person she feared the most in this world when she was younger. Personally, Illyana held grudges like there was no tomorrow. If someone hurt her, she’d hold it against them for years. She couldn’t imagine how Kitty could so easily forgive someone like the Winter Soldier who had hurt her so deeply.
That’s why she’d originally made the decision to follow through with Erik’s request and kill the Winter Soldier when they were to go back to Madripoor with Kitty, Logan, Rogue and Gambit when Rogue and Gambit returned with Logan which she estimated would be soon. The last she’s heard from them, Gambit had sent her a selfie with a snoring Logan on the jet.
Illyana sat up after a particularly cold breeze and rubbed her eyes. She maneuvered her body and stared out at the beach and ocean beyond the porch. She picked out a tide pool to watch in the distance, seeing the faint colors of starfish a ways away. The temporary peace she felt from watching the colors of the starfish become distorted by the high tide were interrupted by an unforeseen wave. A leftover from the night’s storm. And she noticed she could no longer see the starfish. It gave her a thought.
*
Illyana erupted out of a portal and plummeted to the ground, spawning the soulsword in hand and destroying a piece of debris that was headed towards Kurt. He winked at her and then teleported away.
“Hey!” Kitty yelled as she phased through a piece of debris, “Why’d he get saved?”
Bobby slid past her on a path of ice in his frosty white form, “Because you can phase!”
Kitty frowned and then Lockheed flew out of seemingly nowhere and knocked Bobby in the side of the head, causing both her and Kurt to laugh.
Kurt then appeared next to her in a BAMF! And continued, “He is correct, Kätzchen.”
“Whatever, just get me up there,” Kitty directed.
“Natürlich,” Kurt bowed and held up his hand. Kitty matched his energy and curtsied before placing her hand in his. They disappeared in purple smoke as they reappeared at the top of the Danger Room. Kitty then launched forward towards a robot that was about to strike Illyana and phased through it, causing it to circuit out and fall to the ground.
“I won’t hold it against you,” Kitty joked and put her hands on her hips.
Illyana raised her sword and then charged forward to strike.
Kitty’s eyes widened and she took a few sudden steps back before shouting, “It was a joke! Don’t stab me!”
Kitty phased and Illyana ran through her with a smirk and sliced another robot in half. Once Kitty saw what she had done, her expression turned from shock to relief and then to playful anger.
Illyana put her blade on her shoulder and then spoke, “I won’t hold it against you.”
They two girls laughed at each other as Bobby flew past them, being hit by a blast from a robot. The robot then flew towards him to attack him and he froze it with a blast. He then spotted Kitty and Illyana watching him while laughing and Kurt watching him from his perch on top of a piece of debris.
“Don’t help Bobby. Bobby’s got it all handled. Bobby will be fine,” Bobby mumbled to himself as he got up and approached Kitty and Illyana, dusting himself off as he became human again, no longer having snow and ice adorn his skin.
“You alright?” Kitty asked with a smile.
“He is fine,” Kurt jumped down, landing between Kitty and Bobby and almost shaking him off his feet.
“You guys suck,” Bobby declared with an exaggerated frown.
“Yep,” Illyana nodded and then clapped him on his back.
The simulation deactivated and the four of them all headed for the door. They exited the lower levels talking and laughing as they entered the ground floor and went to the kitchen and lounge area to cool off. Bobby laid out on the couch facing the TV and Kitty got a coding book down from one of the bookshelves and sat down near him.
Illyana opted to find a good snack while Kurt searched the fridge for something to eat. After a few minutes, Kurt stopped looking and swiped a banana from a bowl on a lazy susan on the kitchen’s center island.
“Have you zought about telling her?” He asked suddenly as he peeled the banana.
“Telling her what?” Illyana countered, feigning innocence as she searched the cabinets.
“You know what,” Kurt stated and took his first bite.
Illyana turned her head back to him, narrowing her eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Bobby and Kitty yelling.
Illyana jumped up and sprinted to the doorway between the kitchen and the lounge as Kurt teleported to the other room.
They and Bobby watched horrified as Kitty’s hands turned to dust and faded away. Kitty looked at them with sheer terror. Kurt jumped towards her, but he didn’t make it before Kitty had faded to dust.
Illyana just stood there. This couldn’t be happening. Please this can’t be happening.
Bobby froze and then blinked himself back to reality. His head swung to look at Illyana and then he started pointing, yelling, “You’re doing it too!”
She looked down and found herself fading to dust.
Please, God. Don’t let this be the end, She thought before everything went black.
The next time Illyana opened her eyes she was back where she had been standing in the doorway to the kitchen, staring into the lounge. Everything looked the same, but it felt different. She noticed a layer of dust covering the furniture. Something was off.
She gazed into the lounge and found Kitty sitting on the couch, equally as confused as she was. Kitty sprung up and then hugged her out of the blue.
“What just happened?” Kitty asked, completely bewildered. She pulled away to look at her.
“I don’t know,” Illyana answered.
“Are we dead?” Kitty questioned.
“I don’t think so,” Illyana responded.
“Were we dead?” Kitty modified her question.
“Maybe?” Illyana was just as confused as she was. It was then that she noticed she was still holding hands with her.
Kurt burst inside the lounge from another doorway and ran toward Kitty, practically crying tears of joy as he tackled her. Kitty’s hand was yanked out of hers.
“You are back!” He exclaimed. Illyana walked towards him slowly. He looked different too.
“You have a beard,” Illyana pointed out the hair on his face that she didn’t remember being there.
Kurt let go of Kitty and then jumped onto Illyana, wrapping her in quite possibly one of the most suffocating hugs she’d ever felt.
Kitty recovered not long after he let go. She also spotted the beard and was immediately inclined to start asking questions, “Back from where? Why do you have a beard?”
Kurt freed Illyana from his embrace and then made sure he was facing them as he concocted an explanation for the two of them. While he thought of an explanation, Illyana felt herself be lifted up and hugged from behind. She knew her brother’s arms and exclaimed, “Brother!”
“Sister!” He expressed and then set her down.
“What are you guys yelling about down here?” Bobby came in the same door as Kurt, rubbing his eyes. He yawned and then looked at them, not realizing that Kitty and Illyana were back. He blinked and then rubbed his eyes again, “Am I seeing things?”
“No you’re not, Frosted Flakes,” Kitty said from the couch.
“Zey are back,” Kurt repeated himself, looking like he was about to burst.
“That means-” Realization dawned on Bobby’s face and he ran out of the room.
“Do you have that explanation yet?” Illyana asked Kurt and then turned to her brother, “Piotr?”
Piotr locked eyes with Kurt and they both nodded to each other in silent agreement.
“An explanation would be fantastic,” Kitty agreed and then added, “For what happened with all that and the beard.”
Kurt chuckled quietly and then his jovial expression faded as he went to explain, “Ze Avengers vere fighting a very powerful enemy and he won and apparently erased half of all life. You two und many ozers were gone for five years.”
Kitty got up from her seat, “Five years?!”
Illyana went into stunned silence, covering her mouth with her hand. Piotr placed his hands on her shoulders.
“Ja, Kätzchen. Everyone disappeared except for us, Bobby, und Ororo. Ve tried to run ze school but so many vere gone zat it felt impossible,” Kurt explained glumly.
Kitty took a moment to process and then questioned, “How are we back then?”
“Ve don’t know,” Piotr answered, shaking his head, “But ve are glad to have you both back.”
Kitty and Illyana looked at each other for a moment before they were pulled apart to find the others. Kurt pulled Kitty away to find Logan and Piotr pulled Illyana away to go find Scott and the others.
*
“Yana?” Illyana heard a drowsy voice from the door. Kitty then asked, “What are you doing out here at 5 a.m.? It’s pouring.”
“Lost in thought,” Yana responded with a neutral expression. She hadn’t noticed that the rain had started again.
“You must be freezing,” Kitty went inside and emerged with a few heavy wool blankets. She then sat down on the swinging bench next to Illyana and draped the blankets over them and huddled close to her, “There.”
There were several minutes of silence with Illyana looking out at the graphite colored clouds while Kitty evaluated her, trying to think of what to say.
“They’re worried, Kitty,” Illyana expressed.
“Who? Scott and the Professor?” She responded with a sigh and leaned her face against her hand, “They can deal with it.”
“My brother,” Illyana said, watching Kitty’s expression change to slight surprise.
“If he’s so worried, why isn’t he here?” Kitty posed the question, gesturing around them.
“The Professor sent him on a mission before all of this. He should be back at the mansion by now,” Illyana explained.
“Oh,” Kitty nodded, “Then, um, how is he?”
“He’s okay,” Illyana replied, “But I think he would be better off if he knew for certain that the three of you were safe.”
“We will be soon. We just need to meet with Logan and then we can go and get Kurt,” Kitty claimed.
“Kitty,” Illyana started.
“Yes?” Kitty tilted her head.
“You know none of this can be fully resolved unless the Professor wipes the human’s minds,” Illyana stated, “The things that you have done can be erased, but you need to come home.”
Kitty shook her head, “No and no.”
“Why?” She asked, slightly irritated at her stubbornness, “Then what are you going to do? Do you have some kind of plan that you haven’t told anyone about again?”
“Yana,” Kitty tried to get her to calm down.
“Or are you going to hide here away from the world away from the consequences of everything?” She continued, her anger growing. It was the anger she’d built up after Kitty left the first time. The anger she had pointed towards herself when Kitty left the first time.
*
Illyana entered her and Kitty’s shared room after a long training session. She’d heard arguing between Scott and Logan but she hadn’t thought of it as unusual.
What was unusual was the way Kitty sat at her desk, completely zoned out as she stared at her computer screen. The look she wore was one that she’d seen a handful of times when Kitty was truly stumped. And that was rare.
“Everything okay?” Illyana asked, approaching Kitty quietly.
Kitty snapped out of it and quickly shut her laptop, “Yeah, I’m just- tired is all.”
“Liar,” Illyana claimed and sat down on Kitty’s bed, “What’s really going on?”
Kitty took a deep breath. She could never hide anything from her, “Remember when I jokingly applied for like six colleges back in fall?”
“Yes, you applied for all of the hard ones, did you not?” Illyana nodded, furrowing her brow.
“And I made the joke that my dream school used to be MIT..” Kitty tried to lead her to a conclusion.
“You got accepted,” Illyana assumed.
“Yep,” Kitty confirmed.
“That’s great, but you’re not going to commit, right?” Illyana joked, but once she saw Kitty’s uncertain expression, she sat up and repeated herself seriously, “You’re not committing to MIT, right?”
“Honestly, I’m thinking about it,” Kitty admitted, trying to be careful.
Illyana’s mouth was agape and she shook her head, “But you told me that you would stay here no matter what.”
“I was fifteen when I said that,” Kitty sighed, “Things have changed.”
“Really?” Illyana was mad now, slightly raising her voice, “Is it because of my brother then? Because of your break up?”
“No, Yana,” Kitty shook her head again.
Illyana pinched her nose, “No. Of course not. It’s because of that stupid argument you had with the Professor, isn’t it?”
“That may or may not be a factor,” Kitty admitted, avoiding eye contact with her.
“Let me get this straight. You’re threatening to leave the school, the team- me because of some stupid argument with the Professor?” Illyana yelled.
“It wasn’t a stupid argument, Yana. He did something that I didn’t ask him to do and he kept it secret. I had to find out from Jean after she died. He didn’t even have the courage to tell me himself. And then he didn’t even have the dignity to stop himself from-” Kitty stopped herself, knowing full well she was going to say something wrong.
“You need to tell me what’s going on. We’re friends, Kitty. We don’t hide things from each other,” Illyana demanded, sitting on the edge of the bed now.
“After graduation, the Professor wanted to assess my skill in combat. He said it was a ‘unique test’ that he designed to be ‘specific to the X-man,’” Kitty elaborated, “When I got in the Danger Room, I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was HYDRA again and I was back in the room where I fought- you know. But I wanted to prove myself so I fought like hell,” She paused, “And I still didn’t win.”
Illyana’s face dropped, “He did that to you?”
“I’ve been trying to forget that part of my life for years and he just- he brought it back as a test like it didn’t matter. If Jean was still alive, she would have put a stop to it,” Kitty went on, “But she wasn’t. And I can’t be around someone- especially not a telepath- who doesn’t understand that that is terrifying.”
“So you’re leaving because he was trying to help you fight back against the person who hurt you?” Illyana questioned after processing.
“That’s not what it felt like,” Kitty denied.
“Then what did it feel like, Kitty? Because I don’t understand,” Illyana said, her tone getting angry again.
“It felt like no more how much I tried to change- no matter how much I try to separate myself from the person I once was, I’m still that person to him. I’m still some half-baked amalgamation of a person that was suddenly thrust into the world to him,” Kitty sniffled, trying to keep herself from crying, “And the worst part is, he’s probably right. I have no idea who I am and I’ve spent so much time trying to prove that I’ve changed that I haven’t actually had the chance to do so.”
“I’m not leaving because of you or your brother or anyone else here. I’m leaving because I need to figure out who I want to be outside of the X-men,” Kitty finished, holding Illyana’s hand by then.
“But you’re still leaving,” Illyana’s anger faded away into deep sadness as her eyes welled up with tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks.
“Yes. I wish I could stay, I really do, but the time isn’t right. The circumstances aren’t right,” Kitty squeezed her hand as a means to try and comfort her.
Illyana yanked her hand out of Kitty’s grasp and then stormed to the door. She gave Kitty one last glance of anguish before she disappeared completely.
That was the last time they saw each other before Kitty went to MIT.
*
“Illyana,” Her full name being spoken by Kitty brought her back from the memories, “I need to tell you something and I need you to not make the judgy face.”
There was a pause when Illyana’s face contorted to confusion and concern.
“You’re making the judgy face,” Kitty pointed out.
“I am not,” Illyana denied.
“Your face gets all squished together like you’re about to speak your mind,” Kitty illustrated.
“This is my natural face,” She asserted.
“No, that is your judgy face. Your natural face is much more intimidating,” Kitty claimed.
“What,” Illyana said, confused. She shook off the confusion and then asked, “What were you going to tell me?”
“I didn’t tell Erik everything,” Kitty revealed, looking at the moist wooden planks on the ground. Illyana remembered the evening prior to this when Kitty told her everything. The situation with Captain America and his group as they had made a temporary alliance with her, Kurt, and Logan. She explained the gala and how everything went terribly wrong. Finally, she told her about how she knew Frost was behind much of the betrayal.
“What? Kitty, what didn’t you tell him?” Illyana questioned. When someone hid something from Magneto of all people, it had to be important.
“I didn’t tell him about Frost’s involvement,” Kitty disclosed, now looking at her.
“Why didn’t you tell him about that? He could have helped you,” Illyana asked, not understanding.
“Because Erik would much rather blame a human for this disaster than a mutant. He would have said that Frost was doing us a favor in keeping us apart. I knew if I told him the truth, he would have decided to keep us here on Genosha permanently rather than give me the choice to leave,” Kitty elaborated and then hesitated before adding, “And I knew if I said that I was going to go back and help them, he would have definitely tried to stop me.”
“Excuse me?” Illyana now turned to face her fully, “You’re going to help the people that hurt you? That hurt Kurt? Can you not see the failure of your logic?”
“Yana, everything that happened wasn’t their fault. It was Frost. She needs to be stopped. Nothing is going to be resolved if we just let her do what she wants,” Kitty argued.
“Frost draws on feelings that already exist in people’s minds. The things that she made them do did not simply come from nowhere,” She countered.
Kitty sighed, “I know, but I can’t just let things go to shit,” Kitty leaned back in her seat, “Once Logan is here and we go and save Kurt, I need you to stay here with him and make sure he’s okay. Because I’m staying back.”
“No, you are not,” Illyana denied.
“Please, Yana. I need to help. I need to help fix things or else everything is going to get worse,” Kitty begged, “I have to do this.”
Illyana looked at her with a lump in her throat and then looked away, “You and your stupid altruism.”
“So you’ll let me go?” Kitty asked, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
Illyana weighed the situation. This was what Kitty wanted, but this wasn’t what she wanted. She was leaving all over again because of some idea in her head that she needed to ‘fix things.’ It would be almost admirable if it wasn’t so foolish. But she had a thought that kept her answer from falling from her lips.
“Do you really intend to help all of them? Even the Winter Soldier,” She trailed off.
“Even him,” Kitty nodded.
How could someone who had wept so much over one horrible man suddenly forgive? She wondered. Maybe Kitty was crazy after all. To be fair, she was also crazy, but that was beside the point.
“If there’s anything I’ve learned from this whole ordeal is that people change. The person I know- Bucky. Him and the Winter Soldier are not the same,” Kitty shared and looked her in the eye. Through her eyes, she could tell that she genuinely believed it.
Illyana rubbed the side of her face and then relented, finally making her decision, “Fine, but I can make no promises as to what will happen during the rescue.”
Kitty gave her a smile, “Thank you, Yana. For everything,” Kitty then held her hand, “I’m going to make you a promise this time before I leave, okay?”
Illyana waited for Kitty to start, watching her cautiously.
“When everything is said and done and things have been settled in a favorable way, I’ll come back to the X-men,” Kitty promised her, “I’ll come home.”
“You promise?” Illyana asked quietly.
“I promise,” Kitty nodded with a smile.
Maybe this was the moment to say it. To say that she felt something for her. That she had always felt something for her. To say that she needed her back. To ask if she felt the same way.
But the sound of a jet flying overhead interrupted her thoughts. They both looked at the open ocean and spotted the jet carrying Gambit, Rogue, and Logan. Kitty grinned widely and then looked at Illyana as the jet flew to the Genoshan landing site.
“They’re back!” Kitty announced and then stood up, discarding the blanket.
“Right on cue,” Illyana mumbled and then stood by her side.
“I’m going to get dressed to greet them. You coming with?” Kitty asked as she let go and pranced over to the porch door.
“I’ll join you in a second,” Illyana gave her a faint smile. Kitty exchanged smiles with her and then went inside.
Illyana walked forward and leaned against the porch railing. She’d have to make the decision sooner or later, but it weighed on her mind. Taking a life was never easy and until she spoke with Kitty, she thought it would be. Especially killing him. How could she trust him after all of that? Suddenly it was all so complicated all over again.
But nevertheless, she had a choice to make.