We'll Be Alright
If there’s one thing everyone can agree on, it’s that jet lag sucks. And the people that don’t get jet lag are the real freaks. It was a particularly bad bout of jet lag that was tormenting Kitty as she climbed the stairs up to her dorm room at MIT.
It’d been two days since she’d flown back from South Korea. They’d arrived in the morning and she had had to go to classes and pretend like her team hadn’t just fought Captain America and the Winter Soldier. Logan had immediately decided to take Kurt to the hospital for his nose. Kurt had used his watch to put on a human disguise, but his nose was still red and swelling. So she’d spent two days without a word from either man.
She yawned, slowly making her way down the hall. She put her hand lazily on her face, feeling the bruise that would definitely be visible tomorrow. She found her dorm in the dark and turned the knob, going inside. She shut the door and groaned before flopping onto her bed. She groaned and flipped onto her stomach, essentially allowing herself to sink into the bedding.
Kitty relaxed for a few minutes more before she heard the familiar BAMF! Of her friend. She lifted her head and saw Kurt standing above her with several boxes of Chinese food in one hand and a cup holder with two drinks in the other.
“It is too late for any kind of coffee right now,” She grumbled, her head dropping onto the blankets.
“All decaf,” He smiled and then sat down by the floor to ceiling window on the other side of the room.
Kitty lifted her head again to look as he sat on the floor by the window. He spotted her movement and lifted the takeout box enticingly. She relented and then got up and went over to him at a snail’s pace. She sat down on the floor next to him and picked up a box.
“Kurt Wagner you are a lifesaver,” She smiled as she took the first bite.
Kurt chuckled and took a sip of what looked to be a Starbucks pink drink in the moonlight, “I zought zat you might not have eaten today.”
“I did! They had donuts downstairs this morning,” Kitty protested.
“Ja, zis morning. Have you eaten zince zen?” He raised a brow as he took a bite of his food.
She sunk her shoulders and then lifted the takeout box in defeat, “You got me.”
“You really need a meal schedule, Kätzchen,” He shook a chopstick like one would a finger to scold a small child.
“Did Logan tell you to say that?” She smirked at him and picked up her drink.
“Ja, but I also mean it. You really should be eating more often,” Kurt somehow took his last bite as he spoke, astonishingly having scarfed down his entire order.
“Alright, alright I’ll eat more than one meal tomorrow,” She didn’t want to fight him over it.
The two fell into comfortable silence as Kitty and Kurt looked out the window at the tables and benches below. The campus was somewhat empty now with most of the students having gone to their dorms or left completely.
Kurt broke the silence by setting down his drink and then turning his head to her, “Are we going to talk about ze zing ve don’t usually talk about or..?”
Kitty turned her head away from the window and looked at the ground, not giving him a definitive answer.
He took this as a sign to go, “I vill start zen. I got my nose broken by ze new Captain America! How many people can say zat?” He spoke with excitement.
It was when he brought it up that she realized he had a large splint over his nose. She laughed, “Only you would see that as a good thing.”
“Vell! I am on zeir radar jetzt!” He clapped with a smile.
“I hate to burst your bubble, but we’re on their radar because they see us as the bad guys,” She finished her meal and set down the empty takeout box.
“Ich weiß,” He crossed his arms.
“And that doesn’t freak you out at all?” She furrowed her brow.
“Vell, ja und nein. Ve might be zeir target now, but I have ze feeling zat zey don’t know vat ve are fighting for. Perhaps if ve explained-” Kurt looked hopeful. A look he’d donned before that somehow hadn’t been torn apart by HYDRA.
“Not happening,” Kitty’s expression turned to complete seriousness.
“Warum nicht?” He tilted his head.
“Kurt, everything is just so complicated,” He could tell that she struggled with the words, like there was something she wanted to say, but couldn’t.
It then struck him, “Is it about ze Winter Soldier?”
She looked at him with an expression mixed with dread and shock. She then relented, looking out the window again, “Yeah.”
“I don’t vant to push, but if it bothers you, I vant you to know you can tell me. I vill not tell anyone,” He tried to comfort her. They hadn’t discussed much about their time as HYDRA’s lab rats. It had become a sore subject for both of them.
Kitty hugged her knees and leaned against the window. She was fighting with herself. She knew she had to tell someone or else this would all build up and explode, but on the other hand, telling someone would mean that she’d have to accept that this had really happened. That these horrors wouldn’t ever leave.
“But if you do not vant to speak about it. Ve do not have to. I just vant you to feel okay,” Kurt reassured her softly, having put the empty takeout boxes to the side and moved to sit next to her.
“Kurt, I’m terrified,” Was all she managed to say. Kurt watched her to see if she would continue or possibly explain. Fortunately, she did, “I haven’t seen his face in eight years. I haven’t fought him in eight years. I thought I would be fine, but I just- I see him and suddenly I’m back to being that 13-year-old girl who could barely fight and I just-” She covered her face with her hands.
Kurt sat closer to her and hugged her side as she choked through a series of sobs and sniffles.
“Kätzchen,” He used her nickname to bring her back, “I understand and it’s okay to feel zat vay. You didn’t deserve to have zose horrible zings happen to you zen. And you don’t deserve to have to relive zem now.”
“Neither did you,” Kitty uncovered her face, the tears on her cheeks beginning to dry. She still hugged her knees, but leaned her head on his shoulder as they both looked out the window. The silence filled the room again.
“You know you’re probably my best friend, right?” Kitty admitted with a faint smile.
“Vielleicht? Vat do you mean probably? You und Illyana haven't spoken in two years,” He decided to mess with her in the hopes of lightening the mood, “I am ganz bestimmt your best friend.”
She smiled again, “Then it’s settled. You’re my best friend.”
He did a fist pump, “I have finally beat Illyana!”
Kitty laughed at his little moment of triumph and then lowered her knees, now sitting crisscrossed with her head still on his shoulder. He leaned his head on hers with a grin. Mood successfully lightened.
Kurt brought their drinks back over to them and then held out her drink for her to take. She took it and took a few sips. As she kept looking out the window, he found himself conflicted. She didn’t know what had happened. That SHIELD had one of their watches. And there was a reason Logan had asked him to go instead of him. He didn’t want to face Kitty’s wrath. So Kurt went instead.
He decided to rip the bandaid off, “Please don’t kill me or Logan, bitte.”
Kitty sat up and raised a brow, “What did you two do?”
“Logan may have lost his vatch,” Kurt admitted, bracing for impact.
“He WHAT?” She shouted and jumped up.
“Ve don’t know for sure, but ve zink zat SHIELD already has it,” Kurt continued slowly.
“Shit, shit, shit! Kurt, if they manage to crack that thing, we’re done! We’re screwed. It’s over!” She stood up and began to stress out, pacing back and forth.
Kurt stayed seated, trying to be the calm one, “Kätzchen, you are one of ze best hackers in ze vorld. Zey don’t have you.”
She stopped pacing, “You’re right,” Kurt sighed out of relief, and then Kitty began again, “They have people better than me.”
Kurt facepalmed, trying to figure out how to deescalate the situation, “Ve don’t know anyzing for sure. Zey could be ztruggling for all ve know. Or zey might not have even found ze vatch.”
“It’s SHIELD!” Kitty rubbed her temples and then sat down again with her hands over her face.
Kurt patted her on the back and then gathered the empty cups and trash, setting it to the side.
“I don’t want to run again,” She said quietly.
“Ve don’t have to run unless zey find out vhere ve are,” Kurt assured, “Just, stay here and focus on school. Logan and I vill figure it out. Ve alvays have.”
“We shouldn’t have to run or ‘figure it out.’ It shouldn’t just be me getting to live while you and Logan have to struggle,” Kitty lifted her head and shook it.
“Zat is ze cards ve’ve been dealt, Kätzchen,” Kurt replied solemnly, “Und ve must learn to live vith it.”
Kitty frowned and objected, “But you should be able to turn those cards into a flush.”
Kurt flashed a bittersweet smile and then looked out the window, “Ve are never going to get to zat point if ve keep hiding, Kitty.”
Kitty realized what he was getting at and waited for him to continue.
“If ve spoke vith Captain America, vielleicht he vould zee vhat ve are trying to do. Und maybe he vould even help us,” Kurt proposed this option, watching for her reaction.
She stayed quiet, so he continued, “I know you’re… hesitant because of you-know-who. But sometimes ve have to face our past in order to ensure our future.”
“How do you always know what to say?” She crossed her arms.
“Ich habe keine Idee,” He shrugged as if he didn’t drop one of the most inspirational things she’d ever heard.
She laughed and caused him to giggle. They sat next to each other in front of the window again and fell back into that silence.
“So vill you zink about it?” Kurt asked quietly.
“I guess. I mean, you’re right. About all of it, but I’m just- I told you, I’m scared,” Kitty leaned her head on his shoulder again.
“Of him or is zere zomezing you’re not being honest vith me about?” He tried to prod her gently.
“He’s a part of it, but I think it’s mostly what’ll happen afterward,” She attempted to explain, “Kurt, if we go through with this and reveal to SHIELD that there’s been a whole other world of super people right under their nose for God knows how long, we not only might be facing the wrath of the human government, but the wrath of the mutant world which includes- you know-”
“Scott, Ororo, Gambit, Rogue, Frost, Shaw,” Kurt nodded, "Illyana. Ich weiß."
“Do you think we’d be ready to face all of that?” Kitty ventured, looking out the window as the moon passed over, bathing them both in the pure moonlight.
“That and more. It’s alvays been us against die Welt, Kätzchen,” He smiled at her as his yellow eyes gained a little sparkle, “And ve’ll be alright as long as it’s us.”
She smiled at him and rested on him. Once again, he leaned his head against hers as they watched the spectacle of the passing moonlight. Eventually, the two drifted off and the moon shifted away, leaving them to rest in the lightlessness.