It was 2 a.m. and Tony was fast asleep on the couch with the TV left on as he lay on the couch he heard a piercing scream that woke him in a jolt and caused him to fall from the couch. He sat himself up hearing the screams and got up raced down the hall and stopped at the closed door with a frown preparing himself to see the sight of Bucky in bed suffering from the traumatizing abuse of Hydra and the memories of his killings. Steve with Nat, Sam, and Clint left for a mission, and as much as he knew that Tony didn't want to be near the former Hydra murderous assassin who killed his parents, Steve asked his friend to watch over Bucky and try to be patient and cautious when Bucky has his mood swings or nightmares of his past. Bucky's PTSD makes him look both fragile and dangerous, but Steve, as, usual is always there for him, and seeing the captain with the soldier comforting him and especially kissing him makes Tony feel jealous of seeing them together. As much as Tony can't find the will in him to forgive Bucky for the deaths of his parents, he feels a bit of sympathy for the former assassin killer.
Tony inhaled deeply for the sight to behold and he opened the door seeing the sight and frowned. Bucky was wildly tossing and turning with his flesh and metal hands waving in the air, with him groaning and moaning with screams of begging for his attackers in his nightmare to stop with please and screaming no that made Tony feel a stab through his heart reactor just imaging what Bucky was seeing and suffering in his nightmare.
He slowly walked to the bed, with hands up to touch to try to soothe Bucky's screams and movements then cautiously rested his hand on Bucky's chest hearing him groan with a sob then he saw Bucky flinch from his touch. "James...wake up. You're dreaming, it's all just a dream. Wake up", he soothed but Bucky was still trapped in his nightmare.
"No...please...stop! Stop it! Please, no! Get...off...me...please....don't no! Stop it! Please...please! No!", Bucky mumbled to yells then made a loud shriek that made Tony jump. He didn't know how Steve could handle hearing him suffer like this in his nightmares and being repeatedly woken up by his constant screams.
"James calm down! It is all just a dream! You are safe here! Wake up,...Bucky...you're safe, snap out of it", Tony yelled trying to get Bucky to calm down then said softly with his frown showing and heartbreaking seeing Bucky suffer then he began to stop his screams that turned to cries.
"Don't....please...I beg...you...let me..go...please", Bucky sobbed then he whined feeling Tony's hand slowly stroking his sweaty forehead. Tony dilated his eyes feeling how hot Bucky's forehead was and how sweaty it was as well, he hoped this gentle touch might calm him down.
"James, Bucky, wake up. Please wake up. You're dreaming. Hear my voice and follow and please wake up", he said seriously with his eyes showing sympathy and frowning. He couldn't help but imagine the horror that Bucky was enduring in his nightmare, and he didn't wish to find out.
Bucky's movements and screams stopped slowly and his cries continued until then he gasped wide awake with eyes wide and his metal hand grabbing the hand that was touching his fever and sweaty forehead his eyes were both cold and steel like how when he was Hydra's Winter Solider and staring at the owner of the hand that was touching him. "To..ny?" he said weakly with strength gone from his nightmare and fever.
Tony gulped when he saw the cold eyes that were like a robot and saw them looking directly at him ready to attack then the eyes became calm and normal and he fought a relieved sigh when he heard Bucky say his name and he grinned with a nod. "It's me, James"
Bucky stared at his metal hand with the captive hand in his grip and back at Tony who had his eyes showing relief and pain.
"Bucky...James...you are hurting me, please let go", he said with a hint of fear as he gazed into the former asset's eyes, not sure that the man who was lying in bed was Bucky or the murderer Winter Solider, Bucky stared at his hand that was captive by his metal, and with a gasp, he quickly shoved it out of his metal grasp seeing Tony holding his hand that was soon covered in a few little spots of bruises and the former assassin killer stared at him with exhaustion and guilt. "Tony...I'm...I'm...", he tried to apologize as he tried too many times to him but he didn't have the courage.
Tony groaned caressing his bruised hand and nodded with a grin. "I have to give those bastards some credit to give you a weapon that is a part of your body. You have a strong grip with that metal hand of yours", he complimented about Bucky's arm. Bucky sighed deeply rammed his metal fist on the bed and began to rub his human fingers on his forehead.
Sorry", he turned his face away from him looking at the window.
Tony remained having his smile then nodded, "It wasn't your fault"
Bucky stared at him and groaned wearily rubbing his head feeling a headache, "Oh, my head", he groaned, of there's one thing he hates besides Hydra, his metal arm, his nightmares, and himself is headaches.
Tony slowly and gently sat Bucky up and he walked to the bathroom, finding painkillers Steve showed him to give Bucky when he has his nightmares and a cup resting on the sink and he filled it with cold water. He returned to Bucky and handed the pills and water Bucky gulped the pills and water making a shaken sigh and stared back at the window while Tony stared at the door. "Thank you...for being here", Bucky said shyly and Tony gazed at him seeing a shy smile hiding under his brown strands of hair, and cleared his throat.
"You're welcome", Tony awkwardly said.
Then soon the bedroom was filled with silence of uncomfortable awkwardness, until after a few minutes one finally broke the silence. "Well um...right. Good night", Tony said speedily and walked to the door to his room, Bucky watched him and frowned hugging the pillow in his arms already feeling lonely.
"You're leaving", he said sadly after Steve and the others left for their mission, Tony was his the company of his family he has.
Tony stopped at the doorway and stared at him over his shoulder, "Do you want me to leave?" Bucky didn't reply only shook his head as a 'no'. "Please...stay just for a little longer...please", he said hugging his legs to his chest and hair covering his face but eyes with tears at Tony.
Tony was an Avenger, an inventor, and the husband of Pepper, not a damn babysitter, but he promised Steve to look after him while he was away, and Bucky needed him now and somewhere he felt like he had to be with Bucky to keep him steady and calm. He nodded, walked to the bed, and sat on the chair, "All right, I'll stay here until you fall asleep"
Bucky smiled with a low sigh. "Thank you", he shyly said.
Tony fought a blush and nodded with a grin. "Anytime,...James"
Bucky stared at him moving his hair behind his ears and facing Tony. "You can call me 'Bucky'...if you want. Steve, Nat, Sam, Clint, even Thor and Bruce call me that so you can call me that if you like", he shyly said. Tony cleared his throat again, "Okay...Bucky"
Bucky then nodded with a smile and stared at the picture of his new family and his boyfriend and frowned in worry. "I miss Steve"
Tony nodded in understanding and he missed him too, he would rather have Steve be here instead of him, not being part of this awkward situation.
"You think they're all right and they'll be back soon?" Bucky asked in a tone and face of concern, Tony then rested his hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure they'll be back soon, Bucky, after all...Steve is not only Captain America, he is the only one to protect you, especially from someone like me", he playfully said and Bucky made a chuckle scratching the back of his neck.
"Yeah, good point there, Stark", he said chuckling, and Tony smiled hearing him chuckle. Bucky ended his chuckles making a sigh and frowned again then bowed his head.
"Tony...I have been wanting to say these words for a long time, even when I was captured and my memories of-"
"Bucky...I don't wish to hear it", Tony said coldly and Bucky flinched from the sound of his voice. He has to. He wished he could take it all back, take everything back. "But...I have to", he said with a shaken voice and Tony stared at him then closed his eyes ready to leave.
"Bucky...I don't want to hear it. What happened it happened", Tony said coldly, then opened his eyes at him. "Even though...you killed many people. Killed my parents, my mom", he said even more cold in his voice as his eyes were stabbing Bucky who was looking at his metal arm but was shaking.
Bucky inhaled to finally say the words, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so, so sorry...for everything, for killing....your parents, turning Steve, Sam, Clint, Natasha against you just to protect me...you and Steve fighting, he told me that your dad made him the shield and you...and...him were like us when it was just me and Steve before...everything...changed...and I killed them all...I fucking killed them and I'm sorry, Tony. I know I did a terrible thing to you taking your parents away from you and you and Steve fighting...and I've been wanting to say these words that how sorry...I...am...feel and I know....that I can't take it all back....but I'm sorry...Tony...I'm sorry", Bucky sobbed holding the pillow to his face trying to contain the sounds of his cries but Tony heard his cries.
He stoically stared at the sobbing Bucky for a while listening to his sobs and he sighed closed his eyes and gently lifted Bucky's face seeing the tears that soaked his face. Tony gently wiped his thumbs to clean away the tears as he slowly made a smile. "I know now, that it wasn't you that killed my parents or those other people, it was the Winter Solider that killed not you, now all I see is a crybaby", he said and Bucky sobbed a chuckle wiping his eyes. "Yeah, that is true about that", Bucky agreed but he soon made a sad look, Tony stared at him looking deep into his blue eyes. "I'm sorry...for what happened"
Tony grinned and slowly rested his forehead against his. "I...forgive you, Bucky. It wasn't you, I see that now that it wasn't you who did those unforgiving crimes. I just wish that I too could make it go away for you, me, and Steve", he said with a sad smile and Bucky made a shy smile. Bucky stared at him with an acknowledged smile. "You love Steve as I do" Tony stared at him and smiled thinking of the super solider he had met, they had their differences as friends and rivals but in time Tony grew to love but when Bucky came along to assassinate Steve, everything changed between him and Steve very much indeed and as much as he tried to hate Steve so many times he couldn't and something was still there in his heart for him.
Tony inhales with his eyes closed and sighs opening his eyes. "Yes. I do love Steve...and I hated you for taking him away from me as I hated you for killing my father and mother and taking them away from me", he said admitting the truth saying them all loud and clear with a hardened frown.
Bucky made both a sad and guilty face and bowed his head having his hair blanket his face frightened of what would happen next, then slightly jolted after he felt a gentle touch of a hand and timidly gazed at Tony who gently removed his hair with a smile on his face.
"But...I forgive you, Bucky. I know that now and understand. That is why Steve was determined to protect you, always here defending you, comforting you, being with you, and loving you. I now see that he loves you and to this day after everything that happened, I still have him in my heart, I still love him. He loves you and you love him, and you both have each other now together in this new world and as long as you both have each other and seeing both you of you, especially Steve happy that is fine with me...but it appears that I have a new puzzle to fill my heart", Bucky blushed as he heard the last words of Tony's words.
"You mean...?" Bucky asked speechless.
Tony makes a big smile. "I...mean...for you and Steve"
Bucky chuckled. "I see a smile, Stark, that's the first time I've ever seen you smile, especially at me", he always wanted to not only have Tony look at him, talk to him but also smile at him.
Tony chuckled. "And for your sake, Barnes, you do not tell anyone that I did smile"
"Deal...as long as you are here with me and...Steve"
Tony nodded with a grin, "Deal"
Bucky stared at his lips and his eyes and Tony nodded with a teasing smile. "Don't worry, I won't punch or try to explode you this time", he said playfully and Bucky blushed his cheeks to the crimson color and slowly began to caress his lips with Tony's. It lasted for a couple of minutes end while Tony rested his arm around Bucky's waist and one around his neck while Bucky held his metal arm around Tony's neck with his metal fingers stroking Tony's hair which made him want to continue with his flesh hand rubbing Tony's back. Both ended the kiss with foreheads touching and eyes marked onto one another not wanting to leave.
"We will do it...when Steve gets back, as a welcome home present with forgiveness and reconciliation", Tony said, the jealousy of Bucky having Steve was gone.
Bucky smiled wider and kissed Tony on the lips and nose, "I would like that...three of us...together...very much" He then stared at the empty spot of his bed and back at Tony with a shy look and saw him nod, smiling Bucky lowered himself in bed, straighten the crumbled blanket and sheets and held it up for his new lover, Tony while grinning he laid down in the bed holding Bucky close in his stroking the healed wounds of burns, scars and bruises that many battles he faced and abuse he endured by Hydra with love and comfort hearing Bucky softly whimpering from not the pain but the memories and fear with guilt, Tony subdue his cries softly. "It's gonna be okay, Bucky. They will never hurt you again. Go to sleep now. Go to sleep. All is all right now", he whispered feeling Bucky calming himself down to sleep.
Bucky made a trembled sigh then smiled imagining three of them lying in bed together holding each other close, having Steve and Tony by his side protecting him from his trauma and nightmares while Tony imagined the same having both Steve and Bucky close. The bedroom was soon from awkward to peaceful serene silence.
They came back in the morning from their mission all of their bodies were wracked with wounds, aches, and exhaustion. Nat lay on her bed still wearing her suit, with his wings on Sam crashed on his bed already snoring, Clint took off his arrows and bows and landed on his body covering his face with his pillow all three meeting sleep except one. Steve ignoring his sore and wounded body makes his way to Bucky's room as he makes it to check on his friend, he opens the door stops in his tracks, and smiles at the sight that is held before him makes his heart take flight and ignoring his injured and tired body. Tony was sleeping with Bucky holding him close while Bucky rested his hand on the empty spot in bed, Steve walked quickly but quietly to the bed with his hero suit on he gently placed his shield on the floor and kissed both his friend and his lover on their foreheads then walked around to the empty spot and slowly laid on the bed, making a deep and loud exhale closing his eyes meeting sleep while having his arm over both Bucky's and Tony's sides. He smiled feeling a hand stroking his and smiled.
Tony with his eyes still closed smiled. "Welcome home"
Steve finally meeting sleep mumbled, "Good to be back home...to be with both of you"
After a few more hours the three men will awaken, embrace then talk then no one will leave the room for the rest of the day.