The Last Dance?
Prompt #1: Alder teaching Tally how to do the Beltane dance.
Prompt #2: Alder is not attending Beltane because she knows she’ll end up with Tally and is not ready to face these feelings just yet. Tally confronts her.
In a rare moment of self reflection General Alder was gazing out at the grounds of Fort Salem, her Witches place. She had built this place from the killing field where her first Coven had been burned at the stake right here, then it had been a place of sorrow and anger, now remade with her own hands and iron will into a haven for all her daughters.
Beltane was only a week away, it was so sacred to Sarah. The holiday had been celebrated on this land every year since that first one, when Fort Salem was just a wooden palisade and strong gate. Surrounded by the determined few who followed her, those who embraced the Accords, the families who had been by her side since she was so young, she did not realize she had been signing herself and all future witches in service of a government who cared little for her kind, and only used them for the power they gained them.
Sarah’s morose mood was lifted when she glimpsed Raelle Collar in what look like an attempt to lead a clumsy Tally Craven in the Beltane reel, Tally kept slapping Collar on the shoulder and stopping, looking at her and resetting, after about the fifth time Raelle threw up her hands and was obviously trying to mollify an embarassed or frustrated Craven.
After several minutes Collar walked away when Tally waved her away before she sat heavily on the grass, picking at blades of grass. Was she talking to herself ? Alder couldn’t quite tell.
On an impulse she couldn’t quite name or want to examine too closely she left the office and made her way to the quad, she was hoping Craven would still be there by the time she made her way outside.
General Alder hands clasped behind her back, strolled casually across the Quad but in reality she was making a slow beeline for the Cadet who was still muttering to herself, sitting cross legged on the lush lawn.
The General stood right behind the cadet’s left shoulder; she could not make out the mumblings of one Tally Craven as she ripped bits of grass tossing them haphazardly, apparently oblivious of her surroundings until she cleared her throat and addressed her by rank.
“Cadet.”
Tally eyes tracked up to amused blue ones topped by one arched brow, rendering her speechless. She scrambled to her feet nonetheless, brushing off dirt and blades of grass, her blush deeping by the second as General Alder bit her bottom lips in order to stifle her laughter. She stood at attention, her eyes looking at anyone and anything but the intimidating and oh so hot General Alder.
“Are you having trouble with your Beltane choreography Craven”
“Uhhh What? …..I mean beg your pardon Ma’am how…”
“Relax Craven, I saw you from the window of my office with Collar” Sarah pointed up to the windows as if that was enough of an explanation.
“Okaay…. General, I mean yes. I don’t know what I’m doing and it’s my first Beltane on base and I don’t want to look like an idiot because I can’t dance the reel, I mean what kind of a witch does that make me?”
“Cadet Craven, you are an extraordinary witch. I have been briefed on your skill as a knower, never doubt your own power.”
Tally was blushing to the tip of her ears and face was on fire. She looked at the ground and whispered “Thank you General.”
‘Oh she is so lovely she does not even realize it yet’, Alder mused, making a rash decision she was sure she’d regret but with the festive atmosphere of Beltane her favorite holiday, Alder threw caution to the wind.
“Craven, do you still wish to learn the Reel?”
Tally nodded, still staring at her feet.
Tally felt a shock like touching a live wire when the General gently lifted her chin with a crooked index finger.
The General tilted her own head down in order to catch the shy cadet’s eyes, the chocolate brown just blinked,confused, nervous, but there was something else hidden in the molasses depths.
“Craven?”
“Yes ma’am I want to learn...but…”
“Meet me in my office 1900 hours this evening”
“W….what General??”
“That’s an order Cadet”
Alder slid her hand off the cadet’s chin and stepped back and Tally would have given anything to feel the general’s hand on her face again. She just stood there watching General Sarah Alder continue her walk making her lap of the quad before heading back into the Administration Building, all the while Tally was rooted to the spot her eyes never leaving the General, mind racing trying to make sense of what just happened,
As Alder pulled the door open she turned and looked right at Tally and… and winked?? No Tally must have imagined it. She was shaking her head, heat creeping up her neck again when she was once again pulled from her thoughts by a loud shout.
“Tal we are going to be late for class. Let’s go!”, yelled Abigail Bellweather, her ever tactful unit mate, Abs grabbed her by the arm and led her to the rough room.
1830 hrs Circe barracks.
Tally craven was picking non-existent lint off her uniform, braids prefect over her ears. If she straightened her jacket anymore she would undoubtedly pull the stitching out.
She looked in the mirror at herself, giving herself a pep talk, she could do this…but she wasn’t even sure why she was meeting with the General in her office. Was she going to teach her how to dance the reel or was she going to have someone else do it. Was this meeting even about dancing? Uggggh. There was only one way to find out and she was going to have to show some courage and go knock on Alder’s door.
Tally was lost in her own bubble of nerves as she walked across campus, she completely missed several greetings from friends as she walked, she walked a little like a woman condemned to the gallows but she kept moving towards whatever fate awaited her in the General's office.
Tally paused at the foot of the stairs and pulled her jacket down for the umteenth time and climbed to the second floor palms a little clammy on the banister.
She was ten minutes early when she knocked lightly on the large oak door.
“Enter”
Tally took a deep breath and looked way more confident than she was when she stood at attention in front of Sarah Alder's desk.
Sarah dismissed the biddies silently. Tally received a few amused looks from the older women as they filed out of the office leaving them alone. Tally's heart started beating faster as Sarah got up and walked around her desk to come stand next to her.
“Do you know how to dance at all cadet ? Perhaps the waltz? It's easy with a good partner ”
“Umm no, but I'm a quick learner, would you really teach me?”
As an answer Sarah strode to the gramophone, shuffling through her records finding a simple waltz, the ¾ time tempo lilting though the horn relaxing Tally somewhat with the beautiful notes. Sarah took her uniform jacket off and indicated Tally should do the same.
“You’ll need to hold your arms up, it's more comfortable with your shoulders free.” Alder encouraged, as she came to stand next to the overwhelmed redhead.
“General, why are you doing this? I mean it’s very nice but I just don’t understand.”
“Come Craven consider it my good deed for this century.”
Sarah raised her arms inviting Carven to step up and take hold of her hand and lay her hand on her strong shoulder now bared, Sarah down to her sleeveless T.
Tally took a chance and looked Alder in the eyes as she took her position shivering slightly as the General cupped the back of her shoulder.
“Now do you feel my hands? Pay attention and I will guide you, the waltz is a simple 1,2,3 box step. I step forward with my left and you back with your right side close forward just relax Craven I’ll lead, just feel the music and the pressure in my hands.
Tally bit her tongue and was counting in her head looking at her feet, she had only stepped on Sarah once but she was so stiff and jerky. She felt so awkward.
Sarah sighed and stopped. She took Tally’s hands in hers shaking them out. “Tally stop thinking and feel the music, trust me I’ve got you.”
Tally gazed up into the bluest eyes, forgetting everything that made this a terrible idea.
“Do me a favor, close your eyes, imagine your ideal dance partner, I’m going to change the music so we can try again, something different.” Sarah put on a new record, she hoped something a little faster, a little more fun might help the cadet relax
Tally closed her eyes but she did not have to imagine a thing, she let go and just felt Sarah as she came back to her and took her hands again, she quickly closed hers around Sarah’s sure and steady ones.
Alder took her hands and started moving with her, she was leading her in a swing dance, and Tally was following her without too much hesitation. She twirled Tally away with one arm, then pulled her back to her into her chest before continuing, “Tally, you’re dancing so well, now stay with me now let me show you how fun it can be”
Tally’s mind almost short circuited; had she really called her Tally she didn’t think the General even knew her first name. She was still pondering that when Alder dipped her and she gave up thinking altogether, she just had to trust she wouldn’t drop her.
As Alder paused for several seconds with the cadet’s lower back bowed perfectly, the older woman’s strong hand splayed across her lower back, holding her above the floor. Tally was losing herself in the shining eyes of General Alder, Tally let out a low moan and unconsciously licked her lips.
Everything faded away for Sarah too, she stopped breathing before standing up and bringing the young woman back to her feet holding her close as she desperately tried to find something witty to say.
“Craven…”
“General…”
Tally panicked, she wanted to kiss the General and that was such a bad idea.
“Um thank you for the lesson General but I need to go study for an exam tomorrow…Is that okay?”
“Yes you do have your seeds exam, if you need to study you should go. I don't want you to blame me for a bad grade. Thank you for the dance, I’ll see you tomorrow at the same time and I’ll teach you the steps to the Reel.”
Tally was struck by several things in that sentence. First Alder knew her schedule, second she was asking her back tomorrow to learn to…to dance the reel. Third she could no longer deny she had a giant crush on the General and it was getting bigger by the second, if that was even possible. But after being held in Sarah Alder’s arms, Tally was hopelessly smitten.
“‘Yes Ma’am 1900 hrs tomorrow. Thank you.” Tally walked by Sarah giving her a quick wave and shy smile.
The door had barley closed when seven women where all speaking at once in Sarah’s mind
“Oh my goddess Sarah… you’ve got it bad
“What the hell was that…”
“Are we going to have a Sapphic Beltane this year ?”
“Shut up, ladies please. Nothing is happening, she needs a little help to enjoy Beltane that’s all.”
“Right because no one else can teach her to dance, she needs the General of the Army…”
“Enough!”
Sarah stalked towards the bar. Poured herself a large dram of whisky and slugged it back trying to forget how good Tally had felt in her arms.
At 1845 the next day the biddies started to put up the chess board, stack the books and file the paperwork they had been working on without a single word from Sarah, she had been in a foul mood all day, the biddies had been relentless in their teasing most of the morning.That had only stopped with the start of endless meetings Sarah had to conduct.
She looked up at the women who filed out, the oldest Celine actually had the gall to wink at her.
Sarah looked at the clock and smiled, Tally, no, no. Craven, Cadet Craven would be here soon. She would have a drink to calm her nerves and get ready to explain the Reel. Was she really ready for that, to spend the evening with the woman who looked at her like she’d hung the moon?
Tally hesitated for long minutes outside Alder’s office door, she had been invited back there was nothing to be afraid of, right? right...
The tentative, tap tap drew Alder to the door, she opened it wide and found Tally standing there gnawing on her bottom lip, Seemingly startled she had not been ordered to enter like last night.
“Ah good, come in Craven.”
“General” Tally gave a shy greeting.
“Would you like a small drink before we start? I like to talk about the tradition a little first, the dance is really more of a sacred ritual then particular dance steps as I'm sure you know. Although I have to say I don’t exactly know what those crazy women in the matrifocal communities teach.”
Tally was offended at first, then amused as she saw Alders point about some of the eccentric women she grew up with. “I know about Beltane but at home it was about spring, planting and endless drum circles not you know … getting a boost from…,” Tally squirmed as she accepted the heavy tumbler, acting like the amber liquid was the most interesting thing in the room.
Sarah said nothing, just absorbing what the Cadet had said and suddenly barked out a laugh startling Tally, “Drum circles that’s a good one Craven.”
They talked for a long time Tally relaxing, enjoying the history lesson Alder was sharing with her, all the times Beltane had been celebrated despite wars, hatred, even weather. Alder was full of stories and the more she listened and she even shared some of her own experiences she felt such a strong connection to this legend of a woman.
They found themselves sipping fine scotch on the sofa and Tally was lost in the rough timber of General Alder’s voice; she could listen to that voice forever. She found that the General was much less intimidating the longer she listened to the history of Fort Salem and all the Beltane’s this incredible woman had taken part in, she was sharing and they were getting to be relaxed with each other the longer they talked.
Tally was surprised when Alder stood and offered her her hand, a slight bend at her waist, inclined towards her in the most chivalrous manner. She had only dreamed of someone being so romantic, she took the General's hand and let her pull her to her feet, Tally could not look away from the intense indigo blue eyes.
Sarah finally broke the spell, “Now Cadet, the Reel is ever changing, the dance takes on a life of its own depending on the energy of the participants.”
Tally nodded.
Sarah spent some time showing some basic moves a little awkward without multiple partners to switch between but when Alder pushed Tally to her knees beside her she gasped as Tally looked at her with such an adoring look and angled her body into her.
The General shivered when Tally put her hand on her thigh, she was breathing hard. The cadets mahogany gaze searching, the look was so open and earnest in her desire, Sarah could not look away. Her treacherous hand strayed to the flushed cheek and cupped her face. Tally leaned, closing her eyes relishing in the touch.
Sarah ghosted her thumb over Tally’s lower lip, they were lost in each other for long moments. Tally the supplicant and Alder could so easily offer benediction, take what was freely offered but she knew she could absolutely not indulge in the very lovely Tally Craven.
With such tenderness she pulled Tally’s hand from her leg and helped Tally to her feet, you could cut the tension with a knife. They were still so close Sarah could feel Carven’s breath on her mouth; it made her drop her gaze to the full lips of her subordinate. Alder blinked so she might gather some will power and step back. That seemed like an easy thing to do, just step back, surely she could do that. Sarah had conducted bloody sieges that were easier than taking that one step away from the cadet.
“G….General …”
“Ta..Caven I think my work here is done, I know you will dance well at Beltane and whoever your partner ends up being he or…she will be lucky to have you.”
“Umm thanks”, Tally tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and spoke to the ground. “Maybe….” She finally looked up expectantly
“Craven, I'm sorry that can’t happen.”
“Sorry…I’m sorry that was dumb to even think that…” Now Tally was holding back the tears, she was an idiot why did she have to open her big mouth, she ruined everything.
She turned to leave and she had to get out of there. Alder must think her the biggest fool, why did she have to be so damn transparent in her crush, she had freaked the general out. She couldn't breathe and she stumbled toward the door. Tally’s hand was grasped and her escape thwarted.
“Tally…it ‘s not that I don’t… I just can’t please understand.”
“General, may I be dismissed?” Tally asked desperate to make her exit and go scream her anguish into the night.
“Yes, Cadet, of course…Dismissed.” Sarah was sure her voice sounded strained and much worse, possibly unsure, as she reluctantly gave the order. Her hand not letting go entirely, flaying herself by reveling in the feel of Tally’s warm hand sliding through hers.
The door gently closed and the General whispered,”Goodnight Tally…” she sighed and poured herself a double.
The boldest biddy Agnes, bravely interrupted Sarah’s musings,
“Are you alright Sarah?”
‘Yes, of course.”
“Sarah…You like her.”
“So what, I’m her superior officer. It just doesn't matter.”
The next few days Tally tried to get excited about Beltane but she kept thinking about Alder, Alder touching her face, her lips. The General holding her, dancing so freely, the way her eyes lit up when she looked at her.
Abigail was trying to get her to mingle with all sorts of guys, her heart was just not in it, she endured endless ribbing from her sisters about whether her witche’s mark would finally be shiny.
And just like that Beltane was upon them Tally got dressed she looked radiant she was buoyed by the fact she might glimpse Sarah Alder and maybe she would dance close to her, maybe even get a few steps of the reel together,
Tally, ever the lovable nerd had analyzed every look, every touch Sarah had ever leveled at her since the first days of Basic, since Alder’s speech on conscription day.
She had decided there was desire, some level of connection there, however hidden it was, she was convinced she was not alone in these feelings it was just that Sarah had so much more experience hiding them.
Well if Tally thought she would have a chance to approach the General during Beltane her hopes were slowly crushed as the evening wore on. Alder had yet to make an appearance, people were talking about it and Tally’s mood was getting blacker as she drank more mystery punch, getting a little tipsy as she brooded.
They were calling the participants to the start of the Reel, still no sign of Her. That’s when Tally got the bright idea to go looking, she stomped off in her pretty dress in search of Alder, probably the worst idea in all of witch history.
After a thorough walk around the Beltane venue she wandered further afield and that‘s how she found herself climbing the stairs of the administration building. Feeling the effects of too much punch and not enough food as she hitched the hem of her dress and ran up the stairs as best she could manage.
One loud knock on the door is all she allowed before bursting into General Alder’s office.
Eyes sweeping the room at first she thought it empty and turned to leave humphing, hell bent on continuing her search, she had things to say to Sarah Alder.
“Damn it Sarah where the fuck are you.” Tally cursed as she turned to leave wondering if she had missed her somewhere along the way.
“Craven…”
Tally jumped about a foot in the air and clutched her chest. Trying to keep her heart from leaping right out of her rib cage.
“Creepy much hanging out in dark corners..” Tally stopped talking for a bit as she took in how amazing Alder looked in her Beltane outfit. The corset was gorgeous burgundy perfection with silver filigree and her hair done just so. Goddess protect, she was breathtaking.
“Cadet you forget yourself, this is my office you are the one that barged in here.”
“Right sorry, I'm sorry I was looking for you, and there you are drinking in the shadows….General are you alright?”
All Tally got was an arched eyebrow in response. So she just launched into her rant. She had been getting sadder and madder all night and now here she was alone with Alder she let it all out.
“Why didn’t you come to Beltane? Are you trying to avoid me or what? Do you think I'm an idiot, did you think we would end the reel together? Are you scared that that might happen General?”
“No.” the sullen General responded
Tally was on a roll and she continued berating the general. “Didn’t you tell me the other day you’ve never missed Beltane in over 300 years.”
“There’s always a first time for everything, Craven. Obviously….” She gestured to herself and her bottle of scotch.
Tally walked over to the side table and poured a glass for herself, Alder watched her, said nothing and continued to drink as Tally raised her glass to her lips and swallowed a hefty gulp.
“Have you really come here to drink my liquor and lecture me on Beltane etiquette Craven?”
“No, yes. I don’t know. I just wanted to see you and…and you didn’t come to the Reel so I decided…to come find you, I want to dance with you, you make me feel, I don’t know I just want , I want….you.”
“Tally Craven, are you inebriated?”
Tally cheeks flushed even more, “Maybe a little…please can I stay here with you.”
“Craven, I think that’s a very bad Idea. I stayed away…because I was worried…never mind.”
“What were you worried about, you got dressed up but didn’t go to Beltane, why not?”
“You”
“What…? What do you mean you ?”
“Never mind it doesn’t matter”
“Please I came all the way across campus to find you please, I thought we shared something…General?”
Alder absolutely floored Tally with the next sentence.
“I was scared.”
“What… I know I keep saying that but how could you be scared of anything, especially me.”
Sarah laughed “If you only knew Cadet…you’re right what you said before, I did think we would end the Reel together and that terrified me, hence the Scotch and I’m still here all dressed up with nowhere to go.”
“But I would have been so happy if the Reel had led us to each other.”
“There are so many more suitable partners, and they're probably all heart broken because the beautiful redhead left the party.”
Tally, still a little tipsy from all the punch, sat down heavily next to the resigned General.
“You think I’m….beautiful?”
“Of course I have eyes don’t I?”
“You have the most stunning blue eyes I have ever seen.”
“Tally…”
Very slowly Tally reached for Alder hand and rubbed her thumb over prominent knuckles.
Tally took her life in her hands and leaned in eyes never wavering when she was so very close to pressing her lips onto Alder’s,
Sarah squeezed her hand, pulling her in a fraction of an inch. Tally had enough of waiting and just kissed the stunned General, so achingly tentative in her explorations, soft lips moving slowly against the older woman’s
Sarah lifted her free hand and cupped Tally’s cheek allowing the most vulnerable expression in centuries to show and moaned into her Cadet’s mouth before deepening the kiss.
Tally's fingers itched to touch Sarah’s bare shoulders and she indulged in her fantasy pulling Alder closer as they kissed and kissed. She felt a surge of passion and tried to pull Alder over her, laying back on the sofa.
“Tally…we can’t stop… please…”
“Sarah…”, goddess, her name was like a drug, she wanted to shout it from the rooftops, whisper it into the wind.
When Tally pulled her even closer, down over her body Sarah bent, lips on Tally’s neck, her skin was so soft Sarah just had to taste it.
But when Tally’s hands wandered to the sides of her corset, over her lower back and their bodies pressed together Sarah knew she had to put an end to this exquisite torture.
Pulling away was so difficult and when she saw the pain and confusion in Tally’s eyes she almost broke.
“Tally I’m sorry we have to stop, this is wrong you are so young I and, well I’m me your commanding officer, the oldest witch there is. There are so many reasons why we shouldn’t…”
Tally let the tears fall then, she was embarrassed and ashamed, how could she get this so wrong. She just had to get out, she couldn’t stand the look of pity from Alder one second longer. She stood with as much dignity as she could and looked down at the woman who was breaking her heart.
“I never thought of you as a coward General never, but I know you feel something for me.” With that barb Tally whirled away, tears running down her cheeks in rivulets dripping off her chin, she wiped angrily at them.
“Craven…wait, Tally please… I do have feelings for you. I just can’t step over that line with you, not now.”
Was Sarah giving her a glimmer of hope? Tally turned to her and asked, “Not now but maybe? Are you saying there’s a chance for us? I want this whatever this could be whenever you’re ready.”
“You’d be willing to wait for an old broken down warrior? Tally you have so much life in front of you so many people you have yet to meet. I’m not worth it.” Sarah let her gaze fall to the carpet, she felt suddenly very old and very tired.
Tally knelt in front of Sarah, trying to get her to look at her, “Sarah, I would wait for you forever, if you mean it. I can wait till after war college, longer even, but you can’t play with my heart. I have to know that one day you’ll give us a chance.”
The trembling fingers that reached for her face were such a contradiction to the iron willed Commander, it broke Tally’s heart.
“I promise Tally, after you are commissioned as an officer if you still want me and you haven't found someone else and I would understand you did. I’ll be waiting.”
“Sarah, look at me.” Vulnerable ocean eyes met hers. “There will be no one else. Do you hear me? I can wait for you. I swear, I'm in love with you, I love you Sarah...”
With Tally on her knees in front of Sarah she reached for her stoic General and kissed her, she kissed her so passionately giving her all the reassurance she could at the same time memorizing every detail, every texture, the sounds Sarah made when she deepened the kiss. This memory would have to sustain her through her longing.
Finally she pulled away, stood on shaky legs and walked as steadily as possible to the door.
“I’ll be waiting too Sarah. Always.”
The door clicked closed and with that her light was gone, Alder let the tears she had been holding back all evening flow, but she had a glimmer of hope she had something to hold on too after several lifetimes of loneliness. Tally Craven had crashed through all her walls with a smile and her indomitable courage.