Brotherly Advice
“Hey Dick can I ask you a question?”, the younger man asked, barely above a whisper.
The older man smiled in response and took the empty spot on the nearby sofa, providing him with his undivided attention.
“Of course Timmy. What's up?”
He awkwardly shifted in his seat mustering up the courage to ask his difficult question,
“When did you know that you didn't want to be Robin anymore?”
His gaze barely met that of his older brother, embarrassed to even ask the question.
He was grateful for the opportunity to take up the Robin mantle especially after all the hard work he put in to earn it, but if he were to be honest it wasn't all what he expected it to be. Dick let out a sad sigh in understanding,
“B was going down a path that I could not follow. He was becoming the very nightmare that he chased in the streets every night. He took his anger out on the villains, I get it, I really do, but beating someone to a pulp isn’t going to stop crime. He was meant to be a symbol. A symbol of security and a better Gotham, instead people feared him for the wrong reasons. One night during a drug bust, B was interrogating one of the goons and a child ran into the room screaming for his dad and for Batman to stop hurting him. I could see the fear in the kid’s face and I had to rip B away from the guy. Bruce began to bench me on missions after that night as punishment or whatever and I knew that I had to walk away. I couldn’t end up like him.”
Tim nodded his head letting each of Dick’s words cling to his mind, understanding each and every word. No matter which Robin stood by him, Batman would remain the same.
Another question popped into his mind as he shifted positions in his seat,
“How did you create a life outside of Gotham…outside of Robin?”
“You mean outside of Bruce’s shadow?”, he dryly chuckled before he continued,
“The first thing I did was permanently move in with the Titans. At first it was really hard. I was a hurt kid with a big attitude problem. I took my pain out on those around me, my teammates, my villains, Kori.. God.. Kori… I’m surprised she forgave me after everything I put her through… Robin was as ruthless and bloodthirsty as everyone said. Ironic right? I left Bruce because of his overuse of violence and I turned around and did the same thing. The team had finally put up with enough of my shit and sat me down, put my head on straight, and then I realized… I’m not what Batman made me. I am not a weapon. I can do more than fight. I can help people through other ways and in order to do so I had to let Robin go. He was just a reminder of all the pain, anger, and chafing from booty shorts. And well, Nightwing was born I guess.”
Tim shuddered thinking of the stories he was told about the first Robin’s “Bloody Crusade”. He couldn't picture his perfect older brother behaving more like Batman than himself. All the pain and anger fueling his fight against injustice.
An awkward silence stilled the room, both men thinking of what to say next. Grayson was the first to break the tension,
“Are you thinking of quitting Robin?”
The man knew there had been a rift between Batman and Robin lately as Damian joined the family, throwing off the dynamic for the ‘dynamic duo’, but he didn't know it was getting this bad.
Tim shrugged,
“I've thought about it. Demon spawn, as rough as he is, is Bruce’s blood son and he is favored to take up the mantle.”
“But?”, Dick pushed
“But?” he sighed, “I don't know who I am outside of Robin. I've worn this mask for so long that I’ve forgotten who Tim Drake is. Robin lets me be free. I don't know what to do if that is taken away from me.”
Ruffles of fabric can be heard as Dick stands from his seat and moves closer to the younger bird offering comfort,
“No one is going to take Robin from you, Duckie. If you leave it’ll be your own choice, not Dami’s and not Bruce’s.”
“I just feel so lost Dick. I don't know what to do. Dami hates me, B is benching me, and worst of all I have nothing else!”, his voice cracks, betraying his emotions.
“Come here little bird,” he coos, wrapping an arm around the smaller boy.
“We’ll figure it out okay? I promise. If you think hanging up Robin is the best thing then I’ll support your decision. If you want to create a new identity and go from there, I’m also here for you. One step at a time.”
Tim sniffles back his tears and shrugs closer into his brother’s side,
“Maybe I can just be Tim Drake for a little while. Get to know him a little better before I commit to anything.”
“I think that's a good idea buddy. Just remember, no matter what mask you choose, it won't fix everything. You might want to talk to B too and let him know about your… thoughts. Some things require a little more of a soft touch”, Dick ruffled Tim’s hair, earning him a huff of annoyance with a hint of playfulness.
“Thank you Dick for everything. I think I at least have a starting point in this self discovery bullshit or whatever”, he chuckled.
“Anytime little bro.”, Dick smiled to himself happy that his brother felt comfortable confiding in him.