Chapter 2
The lone white wolf of Wakanda turned his head to the voice that said his name looking alert seeing the one who said his name with his hands up showing no harm, Bucky sighed calming himself with a smile seeing the king of his co-homeland. "Hiya, panther", he greeted. T'challa smiled lowering his hands down. While he stayed in the African city, he thought of finding his new home and family despite the other Wakandians thought of him as an outsider, especially gossiping about his past of serving the villainous Hydra, he had the royal family by his side whom he grew to love.
Over the days of staying in the kingdom, Bucky grew to love Shuri as his birth little sister whom he had forgotten after so long of serving Hydra and slowly beginning to remember his birth sister whom he misses to this day. Shuri sees him as a warrior and real human being and part of the royal family as time goes by he stays, and every time he visits she rushes to her adopted brother and embraces him in her arms.
He has forgotten his dear birth mother whom he is slowly remembering after so many years by the guidance of the kind and nurturing Queen Ramonda whom he grew to love. Every night when the royal family heard his cries or raw screams of his nightmares, she would enter his room and hold him close giving him security and comfort. There was one night he called her 'mommy' in his welcoming slumber, he felt a warm comforting kiss as he felt a soothing hand stroking his face and hair as he heard the heavenly voice of a lullaby from her in an African language.
And T'challa, like Steve, grew to love whom he had forgotten, grew to love the king as a brother, family, and friend, and as time passed by they walked, talked, laughed, trained, and were one another, learned to settle their differences from the past events of the war that brought the white wolf here and him returning and T'challa, the queen and Shuri taught him the ways of Wakanda, Bucky felt something in his heart for the panther king but was and still is afraid of being rejected as well as having the fear of hurting him, and his new family who he loves as he fears of harming Steve and his other family of the Avengers. They are all his family, his conscious, his only hope to keep him as a human and not to be a robot of Hydra.
Bucky hopes that the meditation lessons he learned from Bruce will keep the side of his personality that Hydra cursed him with as his metal arm, the Winter Solider that he still feels and haunted in his mind from being unleased and harming all those he loves in his broken, shattered, damaged, and healing heart.
"Whatcha doing?" He asked shyly with a smile as he glared up at the king who was trembling standing completely frozen...like an antelope in front of headlights.
T'challa was completely frozen in fear and timidness, he had faced many challenges, the gorilla ruler M'Baku and his distant cousin Erik, but this was the biggest challenge he had ever faced, he turned to his sister, general bodyguard and his friends seeing them hiding in the distance smiling, Steve and Tony both gave him thumbs up while Shuri waved her hand to go on while Okoye grinned, he smiled and gulped the nervousness down to his stomach and turned back to Bucky who was still looking at him patiently. He inhaled and smiled. "May I join you?"
Bucky nodded and gestured to the spot next to him on the rock. The king slowly took his position and they both sat in silence, gazing at the rising sun.
"Beautiful sunrise", T'challa said, he remembered when he was young his father brought him up here and both of them gazed at the rising sun. He missed those days with his father and him being a young prince.
Bucky inhaled and sighed, resting his hands on his knees, and smiled showing a bit of serenity and peace. "Yeah. It is, that is another thing I like about out here. It is like I can...rise from the ashes and to the sky like I'm flying away from everything that happened to me...and all the things I've done. Just me being free at last...like I can reach to the sun itself or the stars", he said slowly closing his eyes breathing in, and imagining the vision of those words with a smile. "The stars seem a lot closer now"
The king stared at the broken and recovering man with a sad look seeing the scars from his bare chest and back as the marks, especially around Bucky's throat while seeing his hair flowing around his face. His mighty heart stretched out even more for the white wolf adopted brother he formerly viewed as his brother and grew to fall in love. Every night T'challa would hear Bucky's petrified shrieks he wanted to go in and comfort him as Shuri and their mother, but there were nights Bucky didn't want any of them near him, or Steve and the Avengers back in America. He vowed to the white wolf and himself that he would always be there to defend Bucky before anything, even his duty as a king.
T'challa nodded with a tiny smile and slowly scooted himself near Bucky and his heart began to roar in faster pumps when the white wolf slowly scooted closer to him with their knees touching one another.
T'Challa approached Bucky with a sense of caution, but his instinct to help overpowered any reservations he had. Slowly, he reached out and rested his hand on Bucky's cold metal arm. As he made contact, he felt a small jolt, causing Bucky to momentarily flinch with his eyes sealed shut in fear while T'challa strokes the metal granting him reassurance that he was safe and will not be harmed. He was able to quickly compose himself and remained focused on his task at hand while feeling the gentle rubs. "You are now safe here and always welcome here in Wakanda,...Bucky, this is your home as the other Avengers, you are all welcome here. And you are doing well, my friend. It takes time to heal but you will get there, and I assure you this for you are not alone", the king wisely said with a reassuring smile meaning every word he spoke.
Bucky slowly opened his eyes and looked at the king. He grinned shyly, and then his smile faded into a frown. "I'm sorry I woke all of you last night...and I'm sure I woke Steve and Tony up too. I really have a bad fucked-up habit of doing that", he said guiltily in shame ducking his head, letting his face be clouded by his hair. He suffers from constant nightmares and cannot remember the last time he slept peacefully without them. In the Avengers Tower in NYC, he would always wake up Steve and others with his piercing screams. He was always afraid of harming them with the metal part of his body, so he asked them to ignore his screams and stay away from him to keep them safe from him and his attacking outbursts of his flesh and metal tightened fists when he jolts himself awake with a loud piercing scream, but Steve and the Avengers were still by his side after he abruptly awakened from his horrific nightmares comforting him and assuring him that he was safe and unharmed and always will be safe, and it was able to help make him feel safe. The king squeezed the metal shoulder in comfort, it was cold but he felt warmth from his love for Bucky and feeling him near him.
"Nonsense. You don't have to apologize for anything, Bucky. That's how nightmares work - they can be painful and frightening, but they will eventually disappear and you will heal, just like any other injury. It will take time, Bucky," he said wisely as he gently moved Bucky's hair away from his ears, revealing his flushed cheeks.
Bucky chuckled and removed more of his hair behind his ears staring lovingly at the African ruler of Wakanda. "You make a very brave and strong king, T'challa"
T'challa smiled and stroked Bucky's face on his cheek. "And you make a stronger man, White Wolf, more strong than you ever know, Bucky, that is something Hydra didn't take away from you...that no one will take away from you", he replied.
Bucky turned back to the sun, feeling it reflect on his metal arm as he swallowed a sob, feeling the wind freeing his hair letting it cover his face again. "Sometimes I wonder...if I...am human...if I'm really...here...and not...the Winter....Soldier", he sobbed softly, pressing his metal hand on his chest to his heart while he held the metal arm tight by his flesh hand and T'challa slowly wrapped his arms around the white wolf, holding him close and nuzzling his face against his like a panther granting security, comfort, and love for its cub.
"You are human, Bucky. That is what Hydra tried to take from you, and those monsters thought they won and succeeded but failed and that is something I am grateful to the Captain who saved you from them and you being here. Safe and sound and here...with me, after all, have you ever thought about the rematch from the airport?" He lifted an eyebrow making a grin and Bucky grinned and playfully punched T'challa's face.
"Yeah, I am still training to beat you for that kick"
The king smiled seeing the white wolf make a smile.
"You have to smile more often, Bucky", he said.
Bucky chuckled and smiled sadly as a few strands of hair covered his face. "I'm doing my...best, T'Challa. I'm trying...really hard," he closed his eyes as he swallowed a sob and let out a sniffle. He was struggling to regain his former identity as James Buchanan Barnes and felt like he was failing even more miserably than before. He missed being who he used to be.
The Panther ruler of Wakanda had always been cautious and methodical to hide his true feelings for the white wolf, but seeing Bucky in such a vulnerable state was the breaking point. He knew it was his duty to comfort and protect him, and to show him the depth of his love and loyalty for him. He hugged him close in his arms and kissed him on the lips then hugged him again ready for an outburst from Bucky.
Bucky was in shock when he felt T'challa's lips on his and the king's arms holding him close. He cried and sobbed, shakily lifting his flesh and metal arms. T'challa then lifted them to touch, returning the hug.
"That you are, Bucky, and you are doing greatly well. You have come a very long and unforgiving way but here you are and safe. Surrounded by those you love and those who love you, and you are now safe with the Avengers and here in Wakanda, with my family and...me", he vowed in a warm comforting smile planting another kiss on Bucky's cheek.
The soldier wolf made a broken but grateful chuckle and pulled back looking into T'challa's eyes and rested his flesh hand on his that was still resting on his cheek.
"You sound like Steve, that's what he always says to me, but you...you make me feel like I can still be...free and...forgiven...from my past of what I've done", he gratefully spoke and bent his head making his long hair cloak his entire face only his smile was shown.
The king smiled and leaned forward, resting his forehead against Bucky's. Their eyes locked on one another, showing devotion both smiling.
Bucky looked away at the sunlight bashfully, dipping his head back down once again letting his hair slightly grinding his teeth, with hair shrouded across his face.
T'challa looks at him in worry. "Bucky...what is it? What's wrong?"
Bucky's jaw tightened as he ground his teeth together, his eyes clamped shut as he fought to contain the surge of emotions welling up inside him. Every muscle in his body tensed as he struggled to maintain control, the effort evident in the way his fingers dug into the palms of his flesh nails that were causing his palm to bleed and the metal in a fist that was resting on the rock, and as T'challa helplessly sees him taking out his fear and anger he sees the flesh bleeding. The metal pressed deeper into the hard gravel making cracks underneath. The king cautiously rested his hand on the flesh hand and held it ignoring the blood while feeling Bucky held his hand and his other hand on the metal arm. "Bucky...please tell me what's wrong so I can try to help you"
Bucky held his face down while his eyes met the king under his hair. "I love you, King T'challa. I love you. I love Steve, Tony, Nat, and Sam, but you...you...I feel like Hydra is somehow still controlling me...or the murderous Winter Soldier is still inside me waiting to be free and close to being free without me feeling it, controlling it, and...stopping it...stopping him. You don't know how much Steve, the others, the rest of the Avengers, your family who...took me in, and...you mean to me...and if I...hurt any of you...you...T'challa...then I...I...none of you shouldn't be near me...you shouldn't be...around me, I love you for me...to do...whatever...to protect you. I love you, T'challa, you mean so much to me, and that's why...I'm afraid of...hurting you", Bucky choked, closing his eyes tightly and clenching his metal hand against the rock even deeper making longer cracks hearing it rumble with his hair and shadows completely veiled his face, T'challa stared at him in shock hearing the words that just came out of the wolf and saw a tear rain down. He smiled a sad loving smile and once again T'challa removed the hair from Bucky's face while he held the bloody flesh palm in his as he kissed Bucky on the lips.
"Hey, hey, Bucky. It's going to be all right now, love. You don't have to be afraid of yourself, or anything else. You are a strong man who was under the control of Hydra during those years, and what happened...those people...that was not you...it was never...you...but here you are now and safe and you are forgiven...and...finally free at last and safe. And we all will always be with you to help you, all of us. I will always be by you to help you, cause...I...I..I...", he stopped from the shyness and saw Bucky looking up at him with a hopeful look and finally he said the word as if he was a panther making a roar to break the courage free. "... Love you, Bucky. I love you too", he declared in a loud and truthful tone.
Bucky stares at him and chuckles then rests his forehead on the king's and kisses him on the nose. "Took both of us long enough", he said and T'challa smiled with a chortle.
"I'd have dreams of us both...together in the night sky having all the stars closer than being so far away from our reach. And being free from everything, just both of us together in the stars while the panthers surround us shielding us from harm as we continued being lost in peace in the stars", T'challa sighed a great impassionate sigh with a big smile fantasizing about the dream as he held Bucky close in his embrace with his eyes closed.
Bucky choked a touched giggle and he kissed T'challa on the lips and they stared at each other in the eyes. "I need to dream about that. Help me sleep peacefully. This possibly may the next night of my dreams will let me know that all the stars are closer and you...there waiting for me", he said with hope and T'challa faked a deep purr like a strong regal panther and kissed Bucky on the lips only this one was deeper and long.
"I will be there...always, my white wolf", the king said in a loving voice.
Bucky giggled and he nuzzled his nose against T'challa's who returned the gesture. "You sound like a kitty when you purr", he grinned.
T'challa feigned a growl, "This kitty still has the claws, Bucky, don't let the panther get the tongue", he slowly slithered his arms to Bucky's waist.
Bucky laughed, wrapping his flesh and metal arms around T'challa's neck as their foreheads touched and their lips closed as they kissed again. "Believe me, you got the wolf, panther", he spoke and their lips met again as they held each other.
Bucky may choose to stay in Africa, specifically in the utopian kingdom of Wakanda, more frequently.
"Wooo-hooo! Yay!" A loud feminine voice rang in the distance.
As soon as Shuri saw her brother and adopted brother now together, she broke into a wide grin and began cheering loudly. She jumped up and down in excitement, her arms wrapped tightly around Okoye. Okoye, who was chuckling at Shuri's exuberance, looked equally pleased to see her king with his companion now together. Tony, who was standing nearby, couldn't help but smile happily at the sight of them. Steve, who was standing beside Tony, gazed at the pair with a sense of pride and happiness, his face alight with joy at seeing his friends acknowledge their love.
T'challa and Bucky smiled at the sight of their friends.
Okoye yelled out, "Looks like this time he didn't freeze like an antelope in front of headlights", she joked. The others laughed.
Bucky laughed and T'challa blushed.
"Hahaha, Okoye, but this time, the antelope didn't freeze", he grinned and held Bucky's metal hand and Bucky kissed him on the cheek.