Chapter 6
Reflections - The Neighbourhood
The tea was supposed to help you sleep, to soothe and relax you. Well you were far away from relaxed. Your heart was beating like a train, you felt agitated, hot, sweaty. You couldn’t think of anything, anyone, in your mind was only Loki, he disposed any thought, any worry, and replaced it with two things: him and the kiss.
Should you go back? No, you would look desperate, best thing you could do was wait until you fell asleep.
You did that, you waited and waited, thinking about every detail from the kiss. You felt the phantom sensation of his lips on yours, his cologne embedded in the robe he made. You shouldn’t be like this.
You knew you liked Loki since you were younger, but honestly you thought he might hate you. That didn’t stop your feelings, but … in love? you weren’t in love, no. As much as you liked him, you knew him as well, he was dangerous, it was in his nature. You felt a sense of fear at the thought. What if you fall? what if he betrays you? You laid in your bed thinking almost all night, until eventually you passed out.
The next morning you woke up with too much energy considering you slept less than 3 hours. You took a bath and started choosing your fit for the day. You chose a long flowy beige dress, it had little flower details close to the seams, and even though it was long, it still remained light, perfect for sunny days.
There was a single knock in your door, you wondered who was it, you hoped it was Loki, and proceeded to ask who it was, “I want to show you something”, there, that voice, it slid into your senses like a warm flood and made its way to your heart, which in response started accelerating just by the sweet tone, you wanted to open the door, to grab him inside like he did; but you weren’t quite ready for that, not yet.
“Ehhh yeah give me a minute” You heard his steps outside of your door, saw his shadow beneath it. “Take your time” he replied.
You weren’t really sure what to do next, you started putting on a little bit of makeup, some scented oils, your favorite of the moment was pistachio, and you left your hair down as usual.
However, you started overthinking about your looks, asking yourself if you should go for more blush? maybe a darker shade of lip tint? After some minutes over focusing on your face, you started thinking about your hair. It was getting longer, what if the strong winds makes it messy? or if it gets caught in something? You thought things you never even cared about.
Somehow you ended up braiding your hair. you made a simple headband braid on the top middle section of it, and let the rest down. It had been a long time since you last braided it, you only did it on special occasions.
Finally and with a deep breath, you opened the door. There he was standing in front of you, dressed as usual, just less armored, his attire was a mixture of leather and cotton, an attire fit for a prince, you thought. He seemed well rested, his hair was slicked back and he carried a type of bag on his shoulder. He seemed to be failing all his attempts at containing his smile, after greeting you with a good morning, he signaled you to start walking by his side.
The morning was beautiful, not too hot but not too cold either, you walked for about 1 hour passing trough the castle and the multiple gardens it had, you talked a lot and laughed a lot, bringing back memories from your childhood together. “Remember when you cut Sif’s hair, but no really, why in hell did you do that?” you asked genuinely intrigued.
Loki contemplated the question for a moment, “Well I was bored one day, and sincerely tired that every easir that passed through said that she had marvelous, gorgeous and drop dead perfect hair, that they had never seen something like that, and bla bla bla. And I remember thinking, what is she without it? So I cut it, to see what happened.” He said calmly like it was the most normal thing in the nine realms, you raised a single brow.
“And.. what happened?” you asked. “Well, Thor wanted to kill me, he already had mjolnir at that point so I had a bit of trouble getting away with that one. I told him the truth, I couldn’t do anything to give her back her hair, but maybe I could give her something more valuable.” He spoke with a playful tone.
“I gave her a sword, the best sword in Asgard, the best sword a warrior could ever have. It wouldn’t bring back her hair, no, but she had to realize she wasn’t her hair, she didn’t need it. Everyone saw only that, and what do they see now? A warrior, what she really is, that is what she should be proud of.”
You thought for a moment about Loki’s pranks. Most of the time he gets in trouble, and gets scolded, almost killed also, due to his hyper heavy pranks. As a trickster god thats what he’s meant to be, thats what he does best. Yet, no one seems to remember to thank him when his chaos inspires change, no one seems to acknowledge the fact that he moves the piece that needs to be moved in order for the game to begin.
You gave him a sweet smile and grabbed your hair. “Well I have pretty hair too, would you cut it to reveal my whole potential trickster god?” you asked teasing him.
He smiled and tucked a strand of it behind your ear. “No, I wouldn’t cut it, I was a child back then, I know better now.”
You frowned, “But you just said it was necessary for her development, you are contradicting yourself Loki.” you faked being mad, that made him laugh.
“I can bring your whole potential without hurting you, thats what I mean.” he stated while slowly stopping in front of you. “We’ve arrived.” he gave you a big smile.
The place was far away from the castle, it was surrounded by trees, and there was a small cottage with a lovely pond outside, you wondered if Loki took care of it, there were a lot of fishes and the water looked clean. The whole place looked alive.
Loki went inside the cottage and brought out a big piece of white cloth. He proceded to lay it out flat on the ground, and put 4 rocks each in every corner, this would prevent the wind from lifting the cloth up.
He sat and he held your hand to help you sit too. You sat there in silence for a minute just taking in the moment, until he broke silence, “I brought you here to show you this place, this is were I scape when I don’t want no one bothering me, its a place where I can free myself from every burden I might have.”
You took a look at the pond again, the water was crystal clear, you could see the fishes in every color and size, you looked at him for a brief second… “It is beautiful.” you said, unsure if you were really referring to the pond.
“Thats not all I wanted to show you” he started looking for something in his bag, until he brought out a furcula. You looked at him with a rather confused look. “A bird bone? what about it?” you asked.
“I thought you would remember… Sorry, this is a token you gave me. The furcula of the bird is considered to be of good fortune in many cultures. Last night you said I didn’t thank you for your gifts, and it’s true, Im truly sorry about that. But I wanted you to know I did care about them, I cherished each and every one, and I have them all, until today.” he said holding the bone in his fingers. Now you remembered, you used to love walking on the forest line of the castle, and you often found little trinkets you would keep. When you arrived at the castle you would go directly to the library and you would place the token beside Loki, without disturbing his reading.
You didn’t know when but your eyes started filling with tears, maybe it was because of the nostalgia. Still, you told him, “I remember, Loki. Thank you, for showing me this.” he looked at you with a longing expression.
“You say Im the weird one, but you used to go around gifting bones to your only friend, now who is the real weirdo.” he let out a loud laugh.
You laughed too, but were too far lost in thought. He did keep your presents, he did care. You couldn’t help but wonder what would be your present if you would have just sticked by his side in the past.
You were brought back to reality with a quick kiss in your right cheek, you met his green/blue eyes that were now filled with joy. “What are you thinking about?” he questioned playfully. You looked at him lovingly, “I thought about how beautiful the day is, thats all” you lied.
Loki smiled and got closer to you, “you know darling, one thing about me you might have forgotten just now is that in between being annoying and handsome, Im a god of lies too, so I can recognize one immediately.”
You looked at him in defeat, “of course you do” you scoffed before letting out a big sigh. “I was just thinking about how everything would be now if I just had stayed with you. Maybe Odin wouldn’t even have considered me for the betrothal, maybe a lot of things wouldn’t go wrong, maybe you and me…” you hesitated for a second, “maybe you and me would be together.” you spoke the last part as a whisper.
The place filled with silence for a long minute, the only thing you could hear was the wind hitting lightly on the tall trees, your breathing heavening, and your nervous heart beating in your ear.
“we can still be together now” Loki stated. “huh?” was all you could say before he cupped your face with his pale hands. Loki started a sweet and longing kiss that threatened you with having no finish line at sight. Every second that passed, the kiss picked up more intensity, you kissed sweetly, slowly, savoring a moment that seemed to be falling from your hands, and then you kissed fast, messy, sloppy, with a passion you had never felt before in your life.
You wondered if that was what you had been missing all those years? You wondered what else there was to discover.
Loki broke the kiss and stared you in silence, you knew what he was doing, he was analyzing your face the same way you did. He kept one hand cupping your cheek, and caressed you with his thumb every now and then. The wind was soft on your skin, and the sun was mildly covered by the clouds in the sky. Loki’s eyes seemed to change color depending where he was. His eyes were now a piercing blue color, whereas in the castle they appeared to have a tint of green, like yours.
You two kissed a few, no, a lot more times in the course of the day, while you talked about the past. You knew you were both avoiding talking about the betrothal, and how technically you two weren’t supposed to be doing what you were doing. But you decided it was better to just enjoy the chaos and joy, even if it threatened to end.
By the time the sun was setting, you were both lying down in the cloth hugging each other. At first the foreigner embrace was uncomfortable and weird, but the feeling of security, the feeling of home that followed completely shadowed any other emotion.
You listened to his heart, it beat fast, strong. You thought about your midgardian side. In Asgard they call themselves gods, but they too are fueled by blood, their hearts work day and night pumping the liquid that gives color to their flesh, that allows them to think, allows them to exist, allows Loki to exist; so what exactly makes them gods? You looked up at Loki, who had his eyes closed, his breathing was calm, and his eyelids revealed intricate vessel patterns; it occurred to you in that moment, he seemed so human.